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Ben was watching you sleeping. He had a dreamy smile on his face and a tender glint in his eyes as he watched your chest rising and falling in a peaceful rhythm.
You shifted slightly in your sleep, the ghost of a frown appearing on your face, and he dropped a chaste kiss on your brow to make your worry vanish. You shifted again, turning your face towards him, and he smiled as your frown slowly disappeared.
His fingers softly danced down your arm, until they came resting upon your hand.
He wanted to wake you up just so that he could drown into your beautiful eyes, but he enjoyed so much watching you sleeping next to him, your limbs tangled in his sheets.
It was the first time you stayed to his place for the night. You had met recently, everything going quite quickly between the two of you. There was something about you that pushed him towards you. You were like a trap he was happy to fall into. He didn’t remember having felt that way before…
You shifted again, this time turning on your side. He freed your hand instantly so you wouldn’t wake up, and you seemed to search for something around you in the bed, your hand slowly moving across the mattress, until your fingers brushed against his chest, and you stopped moving again.
Ben smirked, holding your hand in his large palm again, propping himself up on an elbow to have a better look at your peaceful face.
He had this strange sensation in his chest, as if his heart was too large to fit in his ribcage, as if there were too many emotions in him for his heart to contain them, and the little thing was about to burst.
He knew he had you deep under his skin already, but that was the moment it stroke him. The realization gave him a feeling very similar to a punch in the stomach. All the air was taken from his lungs, and his stomach twitched in a weird way, almost painful.
As you laid there next him, your body numb as you were abandoned to slumber, the first shy rays of the sun bathing your hair and cheek, getting caught in your long eyelashes… he saw it. He realized it all of a sudden.
He loved you.
It wasn’t planned at all, the two of you hadn’t even properly talked about the nature of your relationship. You didn’t introduce him as you boyfriend and he didn’t introduce you as his girlfriend. He was supposed to go away to shoot a movie in just a few weeks, and none of you had brought up the subject of what would happen to your relationship during the long months when he would be away. He didn’t know if you meant to stay with him as long as he was around, or if you were willing to take this relationship beyond, trying to stay together despite oceans separating you.
He tightened his hold on your hand without even noticing. If your intentions were merely to fool around with him for a couple of months before leaving when he would have to go for work, you would break his heart. He knew it now.
A little moan escaped your lips, and he focused on you again. Your eyelids fluttered before you managed to gather enough strength to lift them up, and your tired eyes wandered for a few seconds before finding Ben’s dark ones.
A smile instantly formed on your face still covered with sleep.
“Hello,” you said, your voice a bit hoarse.
“Hello,” he smiled.
“For how long have you been up?”
Ben’s smile widened at the sound of your accent. He loved it so much. It was soft and sweet and it made butterflies fly all around his stomach.
“Not long,” he reassured you.
You finally noticed that he was holding your hand in his, and you intertwined your fingers with his.
“You could have woken me up,” you said.
But Ben shook his head.
“You were too beautiful for that. I just wanted to watch you for a while.”
You blushed slightly, raising an eyebrow.
“Are you going all sentimental all of a sudden?”
But your teasing didn’t bring an earnest smile to his lips, it was forced and you could feel it. You frowned slightly.
“Is there something wrong?” you asked.
But he shook his head, leaning down to kiss you tenderly.
“We should get up,” you whispered while his lips travelled along your jaw. “I’m starving.”
“Just one more minute,” he mumbled against the skin of your neck, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you against him, just to make sure that you couldn’t get out of bed.
But the truth was, you didn’t really want to leave this bed…
“So… it’s the first time I’m waking up in your flat,” you said while his lips peppered kisses on your shoulder. “Are you going to bake some of your famous pancakes for me.”
He chuckled against the base of your neck, sending vibrations through your entire body.
“I like the way you say 'pancake’,” he laughed, his fingertips tracing patterns on your hip.
“Don’t laugh at my accent,” you joked. “I bet it’s what makes me so sexy.”
“Undoubtedly,” he smirked mischievously.
“Admit it, you love my accent.”
“I do love your accent,” he nodded, brushing his nose against yours in the process.
“I knew it…”
“I forbid you to ever lose it. It’s way too cute.”
“I thought it was sexy, not cute.”
“It’s both.”
He kissed your lips again, and you let him deepen the kiss. But there was something slightly different from all the kisses you had experienced with him for now. There was some kind of melancholia, some kind of apprehension and urgency as if… As if he was afraid it would stop.
When he pulled away, both of you struggling for breath, he tried to smile, but there was sadness in his expression too.
“So… let’s prepare these pancakes of yours,” he said, his smile widening as he teasingly mimicked your accent.
You rolled your eyes, and sat up, stealing his shirt to cover yourself.
You both walked to the kitchen, and Ben started to prepare breakfast as promised, standing there in just his underwear while you were leaning against the sink next to him, your eyes roaming across his body with a dreamy expression.
You had to admit that you could get used to this kind of mornings…
You walked behind him as he cooked and you wrapped your arms around his chest, resting your cheek against his shoulder blade, and you heard him let out a content chuckle.
“What now… don’t tell me you’re still in need of hugs and cuddles after last night,” he laughed.
“I’ll always be in need of cuddles,” you replied, kissing his back, and you felt him shudder under your lips.
“Let me focus on my pancakes, would you?” he said, copying your accent again.
“Why do I feel like you’re going to tease me for a long while with this pancake thing?”
“Oh, that’s for sure, sweetheart.”
You rested your cheek against his back again, closing your eyes.
“Ben?”
“Hmm?”
“When are you leaving again?”
You felt him tensing against you.
“Less than three weeks now,” he said softly.
“For how long?”
“Four months.”
You heaved a sigh.
“That’s long…”
He nodded slowly.
“Well, I have to work to pay the bills,” he smiled.
“Yes, but four months… What am I going to do for four months?”
He put down the pan he was holding and he turned towards you.
“I think we should talk about that actually,” he said softly, his tone hesitant all of a sudden.
“About what?”
“The fact that I’m leaving.”
You shrugged, silently encouraging him to continue.
“What do you think about that?” he asked.
“I don’t understand,” you admitted.
“How do you see our relationship in two months? When I’ll be away…”
You crossed your arms before your chest, narrowing your eyes at him.
“Well, I don’t know…” you said slowly. “Are you trying to tell me you’re breaking up with me?”
“Then we’re together?”
You frowned hard.
“I don’t know…” you said, and your voice was slightly shaking, feeling hurt by his question. “I thought last night was pretty explicit, just like the night before that…”
“It’s not because you sleep with someone that you automatically become this person’s girlfriend or boyfriend.”
It seemed to hurt you, this remark of his. He could see it. You had this sad expression in your eyes you had when you were in pain. He heaved a sigh, but you were faster than him to speak again.
“To me when you sleep with someone it doesn’t mean nothing.”
“I didn’t say…”
“So that was just sex for you?” you asked, raising your voice.
But he didn’t follow you as you got angrier and angrier every second. Instead, he stared intensely at you and when he spoke again, his voice was soft and full of worry.
“No, it’s not just sex. That’s the whole problem,” he said. “Because we never talked about what we are for each other, and… you’re not just a fling for me.”
Slowly, your arms fell down on each sides of your body again.
“And… it worries me that maybe you didn’t intend to wait for me when I go away for work,” he went on. “Because perhaps you just wanted to have fun for a couple of months…”
But you wrapped your arms around his neck, resting your forehead in the crook of his neck, and he immediately stopped talking.
“Of course I’ll wait for you, you silly,” you said. “Besides, phones do exist for a reason, and computers as well, and planes…”
He held you tightly against him.
“I… I think you matter to me much more than I would like you to,” he admitted.
You smiled.
“I hope so,” you said. “Because I think that I’m falling in love with you.”
He held your face in both his hands, diving into your eyes.
Slowly, a grin formed on his face.
“Well… I love you too,” he breathed, before kissing you tenderly, and he had a smirk on his face when he finally let you breathe again. “But don’t get overexcited, it’s just because of this accent of yours.”
“Hmm… of course,” you nodded. “It’s just because of the way I say 'pancakes’, right?”
“Exactly.”
“Come on, admit it, Barnes… I’m just charming.”
“In your wildest dreams.”
You suddenly frowned as a strange scent reached your nostrils.
“I think our breakfast is burning,” you mumbled against his lips.
He turned towards the pan again.
“Oh shit!”
He hurried to take the pancake away from the warmth, and heaved a sigh at the sight of the dark piece of food.
“Well, that’s your fault,” he said, throwing the pancake away. “You’re distracting me.”
“Me?”
“Yes, you. With your cuteness and… I have to admit that it’s difficult to focus on anything when you’re standing next to me wearing my shirt.”
“What now? Is that a weakness of yours?”
“Undoubtedly.”
“Be careful, I may use it against you later.”
“Well… feel free to do so. I like this weakness of mine.”
You laughed, slowly walking closer to the plate where Ben had put the pancakes he had already finished.
“Well… I might try to use it right now actually.”
He looked at you with a smirk, before he saw your hand slowly approaching the pancakes…
“Y/N!”
He took the plate away, and you looked at him with pleading eyes.
“But I’m starving!”
“I don’t care,” he replied, holding the plate away from you as you tried to steal it from him. “I’m not done yet…”
But he was too tall and too strong for you to manage to steal the plate. So you tried another method as you pouted, getting closer to him. You rested your hands on his neck, pressing yourself against him, and you felt that his breathing had quickened.
“Babe…” you pleaded.
“I said no,” he breathed, his voice an octave lower than usual.
“Please…”
You kissed him, making him moan as you used one of these slow kisses you knew he loved so much…
And when you broke away, there was a triumphant glint shining in your eyes.
“Thanks, love,” you said.
He frowned, but then he saw you holding the plate in your hand, picking up a pancake and taking a bit.
“It’s good,” you complimented him.
He laughed, heaving a sigh as he turned towards the pan again.
“You and your pancakes will undoubtedly be the death of me…”