Work Text:
The Soldier sees Rose for the first time at a party that neither of them want to be at. Rose is there for her sister, and Soldier is there by accident, having walked into the wrong place. He hides in the corner with his earphones in, knowing that no one is going to come up to him. In fact, he is just getting up to leave when someone grabs his arm. He turns around, now face-to-face with the most beautiful woman he has ever seen.
"Would you like to dance with me?" the woman asks.
The Soldier would love to, so he tells her no and goes back outside into the freezing cold night.
Later that week however, Soldier is at the campus supermarket trying to find things for his dorm. Rose is behind him in the aisle, and he pays no attention to her until she awkwardly clears her throat.
"Um, excuse me - I think this is yours," she says, picking up the honey that Soldier had apparently dropped.
"You can have it, I don't mind," Soldier replies. He tries not to notice how pretty Rose's voice sounds - it's almost as sweet as the honey itself.
"No, it's yours," Rose says, handing it to him.
Soldier takes it, his fingers briefly brushing Rose's hand. He ignores the electric pulses in his fingertips and attempts to smile at her. "Thank you."
"My name is Rose, Rose Red," Rose tells him.
It's a beautiful name, but Soldier is not going to voice that aloud. In fact, he says nothing at all for a few moments. "I don't have a name," he says, because it's the truth. The name that his parents gave him most certainly is not his, and he has no desire to name himself. It's not like anyone would want to talk to him, anyway.
They don't see each other for the rest of the semester, but next semester they actually have a class together - Music. Soldier sits as far away from Rose as possible and never talks to her, but he notices that she keeps glancing at him. Of course.
For their final assignment of the semester, they have to work in pairs and write about Thelonious Monk. By great coincidence, Soldier happens to be paired up with Rose. He is careful to only talk about the project, and to change the subject if Rose tries to start any small talk with him. The night before the project is due, Soldier ends up being at Rose's place until midnight.
"Do you want to just stay?" she asks. "It's much too late for you to walk home."
If Soldier believed in love, Rose would be his first and only choice. But he doesn't believe in anything, and Rose is probably dating that astronomy major that she always hangs out with anyway.
"No. I'll be fine, thank you," he tells her, and he grabs all of his stuff before Rose can protest.
"What is your name, by the way?" Rose asks again.
"I am a soldier."
And the soldier takes the dangerous route home, through the alleyway, and he wants to cry when he somehow manages to return home safely.
After that, Soldier chooses to only take online classes. That way, he doesn't have to leave his room.
He is forced to take some in-person classes the next year. Rose is not in any of them, but they see each other in the library once, when Rose is reading Arabian Nights. She glances up at Soldier but does not say anything to him. He takes his laptop to the back of the library and silently writes his essay - it's for his philosophy class, and he's supposed to write about what he believes in. He makes up some lie - he isn't even sure what it's about. Ghosts, maybe? - as he types away. He can barely see the outline of Rose's body through his peripheral vision.
He has to walk past her in order to leave the building, and he silently hopes that she says something to him. He's very disappointed when she does.
"Are you busy?"
He does not answer, but he makes no effort to move away from her, which should be enough of an answer coming from him.
"I lost my sister," Rose says. Soldier has no idea why she's telling him this.
"It was my fault," Rose goes on. "I can't explain it right now."
"And how am I supposed to help?" Soldier asks, knowing that he sounds rude and unsympathetic, which is untrue. He's just used to death.
"You're not. You can't."
Next semester, Soldier transfers to a different college, and he never expects to see Rose again after that. Needless to say, he is shocked when he sees her on the subway platform one day. She doesn't notice him; she's too busy playing a game on her phone, but she looks up when Soldier's train comes. It is almost as if she's expecting something...or remembering something. They look at each other for maybe a half a second, and both of their faces are blank.
Soldier moves to a new city immediately after that, but life brings him back to New York at some point. He's leaving the liquor store and ends up walking past a camera shop, almost crashing into a woman who's exiting it.
"Soldier?" the woman asks, and he freezes. Only one person would call him by that word. He can't walk away, because Rose is blocking his path, so he just looks down and grips the bag containing the lagavulin he'd just bought.
"Do you believe in love?"
The soldier doesn't answer.
"Well, in case you ever decide that you do, you should take my number," Rose says. She reaches into her bag and pulls out a piece of paper, scribbling something down and handing it to the Soldier. "I don't like phones," she says. "But..."
"I don't like them either, so you can forget about it," Soldier says. Despite that, he takes the paper anyway and then heads off in the opposite direction of Rose.
That night, Rose gets a text.
I don't believe in anything.
Rose starts to type back an answer, but then another message comes in.
That being said, I believe I owe you a dance.
Rose replies, Certainly. When?
It's just a matter of time.
Rose thinks that is the soldier's way of saying no, but then they happen to see each other at a bar.
Rose offers her hand to the Soldier, and Soldier takes it.
Neither of them say a word to each other, but afterwards, the soldier starts crying, and this time Rose is there to hold him. Rose smells like Jameson and the soldier doubts that she'll remember any of this tomorrow.
"I believe in the standard model of love," Rose tells him. Soldier thinks its her way of saying she loves him, but that can't be, as no one has ever loved him before. And he wants desperately to tell Rose that he still doesn't believe in love, or in anything. And yet he can't bring himself to do it. He does respond to her though, and his response is barely audible.
"I will try to forgive myself for living in the dark."