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Dean tosses his bloodied body onto the white sheets of the motel bed. When his tired limbs hit the lumpy mattress, he lets out a low groan of displeasure.
“Dude! You couldn’t have changed your clothes first? You’re covered in werewolf gunk!” Sam throws his jacket over the nearest armchair, “And that’s my bed!”
A soft giggle is heard from the doorway and Sam turns around to see you lingering just outside the room. The irritation he felt toward his brother melts away when he sees the smile on your face.
“You two really are brothers,” you say while you awkwardly shift your weight onto the balls of your feet. You had met the Winchester at the beginning of this hunt. You were already working the case when they strolled into town and insisted on backing you up. You’re new to hunting alone. You figured a little help from the infamous Winchesters couldn’t hurt. Besides, you weren’t looking forward to taking on a whole pack of wolves on your own.
But now the hunt is over, and you don’t want to overstay your welcome. The brothers are known for sticking together – just the two of them. There’s no place for you.
“We’re too old for this, Sammy” Dean groans into Sam’s sheets.
You giggle again and look up at Sam who has been infected with your smile and now sports one of his own. He no longer notices his brother is even in the room.
You tear your eyes away from Sam before the blush you feel creeping up your cheeks gets too noticeable. You’re not stupid. You noticed the second you met Sam that he was damn near perfect. His stature made you feel safe and his ever-changing eyes made you feel warm. Everything about him drew you in. But, you’re not stupid. You know someone like him will forget you even exist by the time he reaches the city limits tomorrow morning. You are young and utterly unknown in the hunting world. You’ve taken down a ghost or two. While, Sam has taken on the devil himself.
You are not stupid. Nothing will come out of your little crush.
You look over your shoulder to where your room resides across the parking lot. “Well, it was nice meeting you guys. But I think Dean needs a shower and then a nice long nap-”
“You’re not wrong, Sweetheart,” Dean agrees without raising his head off the bed.
You smile at him before continuing, “So, I should go. Since I probably won’t see you in the morning… I just wanted to say thanks for your help on this hunt. I learned a lot.”
Sam’s shoulders tense. He isn’t ready for this hunt to be over. He was just starting to know you and now you’re talking about leaving. Before Sam can protest, Dean raises himself off the bed. On tired legs, Dean stumbles over to you and wraps his arms around you.
“No!” you lament as you try and push the dirty Winchester away from you. He pulls away and offers you a wicked smile. You had managed to keep your clothes clean so far. But, Dean has now transferred blood, dirt, and werewolf chunks all over you. “You ass! Now I’m as gross as you!” you whine out. You try to look angry but your wide smile gives you away. It’s been a long time since you’ve had someone to joke around with.
Dean laughs and ruffles your hair with his dirty hands. You smack him away. “Something to remember us by, kiddo!” Dean says as he waves you off and saunters into the washroom, very pleased with himself.
“Is he always like his?” you ask Sam as you look down at your ruined clothes.
Sam can’t stop himself from laughing at you. You are covered in grime and your hair is dishevelled but you are still the cutest thing he’s ever seen. The small pout on your lips that forms as you try to straighten out your hair has drawn Sam’s gaze. His mind drifts to imagining how soft your lips would be against his. Sam feels a sudden urge to nip at your protruding bottom lip. He shakes those thoughts from his head when he realizes he has probably been staring too long. But you don’t seem to notice.
Once you get your appearance semi in order, you look up at the remaining Winchester. You offer him a shy smile. It is much easier to be around Sam when Dean is also in the room. Dean is a nice buffer that distracts you from your awkward and obviously one-sided crush.
“Well… bye Sam,” the hesitation in your voice is clear.
There are so many things he wants to ask you. He feels like there is so much more he needs to know about you and he’s desperate to know it all. His mind is racing with a million questions and a million different excuses to get you to stay. However, he must have been lost in his thoughts for too long. You interpreted is ongoing silence as your cue to leave. Sam is snapped back into reality when he hears the sound of the motel door closing behind you.
He rushes over to the door but couldn’t bring himself to open it. It’s better if he lets you go. The women in his life do not meet a happy end. You are too young and too innocent for him to condemn you to that fate. So, he lets you go.
You have just emerged from the shower when you hear someone knocking on your door. You throw on a tank top and sleep shorts. You grab your gun and answer the door. Sam is on the other side and is offering you sheepish smile.
“Dean used up all the hot water. Would you mind if I – I mean would it be weird if-”
You find such nervous stammering from such a notorious badass to be very cute. You could watch him stumble over his words all night but you decide to put him out of his misery. You open the door wider and step to the side.
He nods his appreciation before you tell him where to find the extra towels. When he retreats into the washroom, you rush over to the mirror. Luckily, you don’t have mascara running down your face from your shower. You look somewhat presentable – despite your kitten-themed pajamas. But, it’s too late to change them now.
When Sam is finished, he exits the washroom to find you standing on a chair. You have a glass in one hand and a piece of paper in the other.
“Just do it,” he hears you mumble to yourself. “Don’t be such a coward!” you continue to psych yourself up. Sam watches with great amusement as you stare up at a large spider on the ceiling. You hesitantly raise your glass toward the evil creature. But, when the spider starts to scurry away you pull your arms back. “Nope!” you shout to yourself. When you take a step backwards, you lose your footing and almost fall off the chair. Sam’s hunter reflexes make it so he is at your side in a second. He catches you before you hit the ground.
You squeeze your eyes shut in preparation for the impact of the hard floor. Instead, you feel two strong arms wrapped around you. When you open your eyes, you see Sam is sporting a teasing smile. Of course, now he knows just how graceful you actually are.
You risk a glace upward and see that your eight-legged friend has dropped from the ceiling. He is now somewhere on the floor. You instantly kick your feet off the ground. You cling to Sam as you scan your surroundings for the little bastard.
When your spider-induced panic resides, a new panic rises within you. Sam is holding you off the ground as your legs are wrapped around his waist. You could not have made a bigger ass of yourself even if you tried. Despite your embarrassment, you do no untangle yourself from his grasp.
“You know, I saw you take on three werewolves at once tonight. You didn’t even flinch. Now, you’re freaking out over a little spider?” Sam teases you. But, he makes no gesture to put you down.
“That thing was not little!” you defend yourself. “Give me a whole pack of wolves over a spider any day! Anything that has eight freaking eyes is the true monster!”
Sam’s laughing causes his grip on you to waver. You slide out of his arms but his hands do not leave you.
“Did you use my soap? You smell pretty,” you ask before you can filter your words.
A small blush creeps up Sam’s cheeks. “Yeah, I hope you don’t mind but the motel soap looked a little moldy.”
“Of course not! As long as you return the favour and tell me what conditioner you use because… wow!” you say as you reach up and run your fingers through his damp hair. You both enjoy the sensation a little too much. You snap your hand away when you realize how inappropriately intimate the gesture is. “Sorry,” you say as you cast your eyes to the ground.
“Don’t be,” Sam reassures you. “It felt nice,” he smiles kindly at you.
“You want a beer?” you ask not wanting him to leave.
Sam nods and widens his smile.
You talk all night. He tells you some of the lesser known but no less entertaining stories of him and his brother. You don’t have much to say in return. Your life is nowhere near as interesting as his. But, you have never been more content with just listening to someone talk.
Sam isn’t just interesting. He is smart and witty. For someone who has seen so much darkness he is still so kind and funny. The sassy annoyance that laces his face when he tells you about some of Dean’s antics makes you smile. Despite everything he has gone through, Sam still has an alluring sense of humour. He is not jaded.
At some point, the two of you shifted onto your single bed. It’s a tight fit, but you like having him squished up next to you. The tips of your fingers brush against each other. They are about to intertwine when Sam’s phone rings on the counter.
He begrudgingly gets out of the bed and you already miss his warmth. You look out the window and wonder how you missed that dawn had come.
Sam hangs up the phone and turns to you. There is regret in his eyes.
“That was Dean, wondering where I had gone. He’s ready to hit the road.” When Sam sees you tangled in the bedsheets he knows he isn’t ready to leave yet, even if his brother is.
“Oh… okay,” you try, and fail, to mask your disappointment.
“I meant what I said. If you’re ever in Kansas, or need a place to crash, I would love for you to come stay with me – with us, at the bunker. Every hunter could use a home-base. I don’t like the idea of you running around out there on your own,” Sam doesn’t even try to hide his concern.
You haven’t had anyone care about you in years, so Sam’s offer fills you with an inexplicable warmth. “I’ll be fine, Sammy,” you say because you know how much that nickname annoys him when anyone other than Dean says it. To your surprise, he doesn’t even flinch when you say it. “But… I am curious to see the place. Maybe the next time I’m passing through, I’ll stop by.” You wring your hands together. You are already itching to know when the next time you’ll see him will be.
“I’d like that.” Sam’s phone starts ringing again but he silences it. “I guess I should go. I’ll see you soon, Y/N.”
You say your goodbyes. It was harder than you thought. But, once the door closes between you, Sam and you are both sporting wide and unshakable smiles.
“Where the hell were you?” Dean asks as Sam climbs into Baby’s waiting passenger seat.
“I was with Y/N.”
“Sammy,” Dean says in a warning tone.
“Don’t look at me like that, Dean. Nothing happened. We just talked.” Sam said smiling again at the memories of you. However, he is now realizing that he did most of the talking last night. There is still so much he doesn’t yet know about you. The prospect of having more time with you, to learn about even the darkest corners of your mind, gives him something to look forward to. He hasn’t felt this kind of excitement in a long time.
“Good,” Dean says curtly as he pulls out of the motel parking lot. “She’s a sweet kid but she’s too green for this life. You don’t need to get tangled up with that.”
Sam narrows his eyes at his brother. He is about to defend you when his phone buzzes in his lap.
I found the spider… he made a home for himself in my coffee mug. Scarred for life.
Sam laughs to himself completely ignoring his brother’s comments.
Three months. You had to wait three months for a good enough excuse to go to Kansas. Sam said you could stop by, good reason or not, but you didn’t want to seem too eager, even though you are. Sam and you had talked nearly every day. Either over text or on the phone if he could get away from Dean. Sam wasn’t ashamed of Dean knowing, he just didn’t want to hear Dean’s snarky comments about the two of you anymore.
Sam walks into the library where Dean is lazily flipping through a lore book.
“We’re going to have a visitor for the next few days, maybe a week. So please, be nice. Y/N is worried you don’t like her and I had to work hard to convince her to come her.,”
“Why is she coming?” Dean doesn’t deny the fact he doesn’t like you.
“She had a hunt nearby but also, we just want to hang out. We haven’t seen each other in person since that first hunt.”
“You got a little crush, Sammy?” Dean teases.
“No,” Sam says barely convincing himself.
“Good, because we don’t need any of that cradle-robbing drama. We have enough crap to deal with. We don’t need her crying about why you won’t take her to the prom,” Dean says sharply.
“She’s not a kid, Dean,” Sam defends you.
“Sure, whatever. Let me know when she gets here. I’ll be on my best behaviour, I promise.”
You pull up to the bunker’s entrance and rap on the door. You hear heavy footsteps running up metal stairs before the door swings open. You throw yourself into Sam’s arms as soon as the door is opened wide enough for you to squeeze through. Although you had only met him in person once before, you have gotten to know each other so well the past few months. His embrace feels familiar, there is no hesitation, for either of you.
Sam scoops you up and refuses to let go until his tight embrace leaves you begging him for oxygen. He takes your bags and guides you down the stairs. This place is impressive. But, you can’t seem to care too much about your surroundings. You’re too wrapped up in finally being able to see Sam again that you’re not paying attention during your tour.
You had brought dinner with you when you arrived. So, you and the Winchesters are sitting around the kitchen table and eating together. You are enjoying each other’s company, or at least some of you are.
“So, how old are you anyway?” Dean asks abruptly.
“Dude!” Sam warns his brother.
“No, it’s okay. I’m twenty-two.”
Dean scoffs as he takes another bite of his burger. You cast your eyes to your food and worry that you said the wrong thing.
Sam kicks his brother’s shin under the table. Dean kicks him back. You miss this exchange because your busy picking at your food. The rest of the meal is finished in near silence.
Sam shows you to your room after dinner. He leaves you to change and get some rest, knowing you had been driving all day. However, you aren’t tired. You finally get to see Sam and you don’t want to waste any more time.
You slip out of your room and walk down the maze of hallways, hoping you’re going in the right direction. When you hear the faint sounds of voices you feel a sense of relief. You were starting to feel you had gotten yourself lost.
Before you step foot into the library you hang back when you hear Dean’s angry voice. “She’s twenty-freaking-two, Sam! What the hell are you doing?”
“Why are you so hung up on her age? You’re acting as though you’ve never gone after a younger woman!”
“Not that young, Sammy. This isn’t right. What could you two possibly have to talk about?”
“Maybe if you gave her a chance you’d see she’s not who you think she is!”
“Hey, I’m not saying she’s evil or untrustworthy. I’m just saying, keep your distance. Girls like that can become too attached too quickly. If you get her hopes up, she may cling to you like a desperate spider monkey.”
“She’s not like that!”
“If want a girlfriend so bad, we’ll go out and find you one. But, you need a real woman not a girl playing dress up or a kid playing hunter.” Dean attempts to reign in his shouting. “I’m not wrong and you know it.”
You knew Dean was unsure about you. But, you thought he was just being protective over Sam, you didn’t think he was actively rooting against you. However, the worst part was how Sam never responded to his brother. He never denied that you weren’t a real woman . He never denied that you weren’t a real hunter.
“Come on,” Dean continues. “She’s getting her beauty rest for the night and we’re going out to a bar. We’re getting you laid. I’m not taking no for an answer. You can text her from the car to say that we went out. Let’s go, Sammy.”
Once again Sam does not respond. You cannot see him. But, you interpret his silence as him agreeing to his brother’s assessment and his brother’s request.
You slink back to your room. Maybe you are as naive as Dean thinks you are. You were so easily smitten with someone you should have known wouldn’t want you back.
When your phone buzzes and you see Sam’s dreaded text that informs you he and Dean went out, you curl into your bed. All hope that he liked you back were dashed instantly.
The next morning, you make your way to the kitchen. The idea of facing these men again is humiliating. They both think so little of you, as a woman, as a hunter that you considered leaving in the middle of the night. But, you are not a coward. You have to face them.
Dean is sitting at the table hugging his coffee mug as if it is the only thing keeping him conscious. You can almost smell the hangover coming off of him. Serves him right.
“Where’s Sam?”
Dean lifts his head with great effort to look over at you. “He’s out. Probably won’t be back until the afternoon,” Dean informs you politely.
Great. He’s probably still with the woman he undoubtedly met last night. A man like Sam would have no problem finding someone to spend the night with – or the next morning with.
“Oh, Okay. Do you mind telling him goodbye for me then? I caught a case a couple hours away. I guess, I’m going to have to cut our little vacation short,” you lie. “Thanks for having me anyways. Bye Dean.” You rush the words out hoping to get the hell out of here before you have to see Sam’s satisfied face do the walk of shame.
“Wait!” Dean yells after you as he follows you into the hall. “What kind of case? We can go with you, give you a hand.”
“I don’t need your help. I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself,” your words are more bitter than you intended.
“I know you can. It’s just, Sammy will want to see you off. He was excited for you to come and he’ll be pissed if he thinks I scared you away while he was out. He’ll be extra pissed if he finds out I let you go off on a hunt on your own.”
“You’re not ‘letting’ me do anything. Despite what you think, I’m a grown ass woman who can make her own decisions,” you bite out as you turn to walk away.
“Woah, hey!” Dean stops you by grabbing your upper arm. “What are you talking about?” Dean asks but he fears he already knows the answer.
“Voices carry through these halls, Dean. Look, let’s just cut the crap. There’s no hunt. But, I’m going to make this a lot less awkward for everyone and just leave. You can tell Sam whatever you want about why I left. Cover your own ass. But, I need to go. Let me get out of your hair.”
Dean is stunned into silence. A wave of guilt washes through him. He never meant for you to hear the things he said. He just doesn’t want his brother getting in too deep. You are a young and inexperienced hunter. You will probably get yourself killed sooner rather than later. His little brother doesn’t need another loss.
“Y/N, I’m sorry,” Dean confesses. He hates that he hurt your feelings but he needs to protect his brother. He won’t stop you from leaving.
“I know. So am I,” is all you say before you retreat to your room, gather your things, and leave the bunker.
Dean is sitting in the library. He has been reading the same page of his book for almost fifteen minutes. The bunker door opens and a sweaty Sam comes running down the stairs. He is in his jogging clothes and is nearly out of breath. He left early in the morning to go for a run to clear his head. He pulls his headphones out and looks at his brother with concern. Dean’s forlorn features are painted with regret.
“I think I fucked up, Sammy.”
“What did you do? Don’t tell me you went home with that bartender last night. I told you to just come home with me but you had to -”
“It’s not that. It’s about Y/N.”
“Dean,” Sam says in a warning tone. He is resisting the urge to run to your room to see if Dean has said something that has made you upset.
“She’s gone. And I didn’t stop her.” Dean confesses. “She heard us fighting last night.”
“Where did she go?” Sam begs his question.
“I didn’t ask.” Dean admits.
“What the hell, Dean?” Sam says as he rushes to your room as if he needs to see it with his own eyes to believe it.
Sam pulls out his phone but his call is sent straight to voicemail. “Shit!”
Your phone has been ringing for the past twenty minutes. You know who it is without even looking. You pull over to the shoulder of the road. It’s better to get this over with.
When your phone predictably rings again, you answer it this time.
“Hey Sam,” you say casually, not knowing what lie Dean told him about your departure.
“Come back!” Sam rushes out because he assumes you are going to hang up on him.
“I can’t,” that is actually the truth. You can’t face him again. Turns out, you are a coward.
“Then I’ll come to you. Where are you?”
You wonder why he is being so insistent. “I’m on the road. I’ll text you later, but I should get going. There’s somewhere I need to be.”
“No, there’s not. Dean told me why you really left. And I-”
Dean must have stolen the phone from his brother because his voice is the next one you hear. “Listen kid, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let you leave and I sure as hell shouldn’t have said those things about you. Just come back and we’ll work this out.”
“You expect me to believe you’ve had a sudden change of heart? You’ve been against me this whole time. I’m not stupid. There’s no way that in the span of a couple hours, you suddenly like me.”
“I never didn’t like you, Y/N. It’s just, I’ve got to look out for my brother.”
“I wasn’t going to hurt him, Dean.”
“I know that. Not intentionally anyway. But, in this life people always get hurt, people die, and the others get left behind. I can’t watch Sam go through that, again.” The pain in Dean’s voice tells you that he is finally telling the truth. “But… it occurred to me that I was too late. Sam is already in this. You are already in this. You two stupid kids have fallen for each other and there is nothing even I can do about it.” You and Sam both listen as Dean confesses your feelings for each other for you. “Anyway, come back. It’ll be easier for me to keep an eye on you two if you’re both here.” Dean tries sounding grumpy but you can hear the hope in his voice. “Come back, Y/N. He needs you.”
Dean shoves the phone back in Sam’s hands. “Y/N?” Sam whispers into the receiver in fear that you have hung up during his brother’s rant.
“Yeah?” you ask in a daze.
“He’s not wrong.”
Before Sam has to ask you again, you are turning your car around and speeding back to the bunker.
When you pull down the dirt road, you see Sam is waiting for you outside. He is leaning against the railing. He instantly straightens up when he hears the sound of your rickety engine.
You’re too eager to wait. Your keys are barely out of the ignition before you’re scrambling out of the car. In your hurry, you trip over your own feet and promptly fall into the wet dirt.
Sam rushes over to you but your fit of laughter informs him that you didn’t hurt yourself. He leans over you and extends his hand out to help you up. “You really aren’t that graceful, are you kid?” Sam teases you.
You narrow your eyes at him. “Shut up, old man,” you say as you pull on his extended arm so he is forced to fall into the dirt beside you. You laugh at his struggled attempt feign annoyance.
“You think this is funny?” he quirked an eyebrow up at you as he shifts to hover over you. You simply nod. You take your dirt covered hands and run them through his hair so you have an uninterrupted view of his face.
The teasing falls away as you each get lost in the other’s gaze. You grip Sam’s hair a little tighter as he moves in closer to you. The second your lips meet, you can feel an unfamiliar warmth invade your entire being. The cold and wet ground beneath you melts into velvet. You could stay here like this forever.
Sam breaks the kiss and looks down at you with a wicked smile. “Oh yeah, there is no way I’m letting you go again,” he whispers low in your ear. Suddenly, he lifts himself off the ground and yanks you up along with him. He throws you over his shoulder and carries your giggling body back into the bunker where you belong.