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A small green haired boy stared in a mirror, sniffling and constantly wiping tears from his face. He felt defeated and lost, things that once seemed achievable vanishing before his eyes. He was different yet so unbelievably plain. Nothing made him unique, nothing special about him, no quirk to call his own.
Izuku Midoriya was a quirkless child in a world of quirks. His parents had ones, his classmates had gotten theirs, his teachers, his doctors, his idol, everyone. So why not him? Who said he wasn’t allowed to have one? He wanted to be like his hero and save people but how could he when he was… normal?
No, he couldn’t give up so easily! He had to keep trying! Maybe his quirk was something hidden or not fully developed? He had to try different ways to get it to work!
Midoriya tried to do his parents abilities first, pulling things towards him and fire breathing, but with no luck. He tried to make explosions like Kacchan but no matter how hard he tried, there were no sparks. He tried to lift heavy things like All Might, the best hero in the world, but no budge. The whole day he did various things to try and see if maybe he could get his quirk to work but it was hopeless. The day would never come for the small green haired child.
He watched the small video he always did of his hero, trying to find comfort but it only seemed to add to the pain a four year old shouldn’t be feeling. He sought comfort from his mom but was only given disappointment. The day he’d get comfort, to get acknowledgement or support for his ideas… Who knows if that’d ever come? For now, his dreams seemed hopeless and impossible. He would feel that way for a while afterwards but eventually he decided to keep trying and stay determined. It was all he had left after all…
Years past since that day but the impact remained. Deku had lost a friend and instead gained a bully who was determined to make his life hell. Even still, he secretly hoped one day it’d change and go back to when they were kids playing and having fun. When everyone was equal to each other.
He sighed as he finished tying his tie and looked in the bathroom mirror, trying to smile but failing to. Today was the first day of his last year of middle school and while he was excited like any kid would be, he was also incredibly nervous and scared. After this year, it would be high school and the one he wanted to go to was laughable. U.A. High School had some of the best heroes come from it, including, one the shy boy idolized. He still had the passion and desire to follow after All Might and would give it his all to do so. Quirk or no quirk…
“Izuku, dear! Are you ready to go?” He sighed and looked away from his reflection, trying to shake old thoughts attempting to resurface as he went for the door.
He stopped and glanced at himself one last time, his eyes locking with melancholy greens. While on the outside he tried to stay cheerful, strong, and determined, the person in the mirror knew the truth deep down about him. A terrified, weak, defeated kid clinging to false realities that would be destroyed with truth. He was a ticking time bomb so close to exploding but so well hiddened that no one noticed; or maybe no one cared.
Hey… Why are we still trying…? We already know the outcome…
“I don’t know until I try. There’s still a chance so it’s still possible. I… I can do it.” He glared at the reflection and opened the door, walking out of the bathroom and with his mom to school.
It didn’t matter what others said or what he thought. He would stick with this till the very end. He had to keep trying and never give up. ...Right? All Might always said ‘Anyone can be a hero!’
So why couldn’t he?
He was silent as he stared at his scarred hand, standing in front of a mirror in his room. So much had happened since he finished middle school that he still found it hard to believe he was here. The day that very easily could have been his worst day, became his best. All Might told him he was worthy of being a hero and passed down One for All, leading to the two training and prepping for the U.A. entrance exam. The exam was hard and for a moment he thought he failed, before receiving a letter telling him he was accepted. Every day was a new adventure and one that aided him to get stronger.
...But it wasn’t enough.
It had been a while since the sports festival and he couldn’t get his mind off of it. He felt weirdly unsatisfied, disappointed, but somewhat proud of himself. He managed to get pretty far. Winning first place in the race and making it to the final rounds wasn’t something small. Yet, it wasn’t all that big either.
He gripped his fist and exhaled softly, looking up at his reflection and unsurprised to see the frightened child lingering in his eyes.
Everyone is so much stronger than us… We just keep hurting ourselves. Maybe All Might was wrong in choosing us. There’s so many better candidates…
“He didn’t choose wrong. I did a good job at the sports festival and made it far without my quirk. I’ll keep getting better! I’m only a first year anyways.”
A first year surrounded by other first years that could easily be better than most second years. We’re the weak link, we should just give up...
“I’m not giving up! I’m going to get better and use my quirk. I can do this, even if I’m a little behind. Everything takes time so just… be quiet for once…” He said softly and looked away from the mirror, biting his lip and moving back to his bed.
His body ached and cried for something to relax it, deciding sleep would be best for that. He laid back and curled up under the covers, slowly letting sleep wash over him. One last thought came to him before he completely gave in, so quiet it was hard to consider it a whisper.
...I’m so scared...
Midoriya bit his lip as he stared at his bandaged face in the mirror, torn between an impossible decision that questioned his morals. Go after Kacchan and risk everything or stay and let the pros handle it, avoiding trouble for himself and teachers. He wasn’t fully healed but it was enough to leave tonight, just in time to meet with the others and go after his… friend? Could he call them that now?
Kacchan wasn’t exactly a complete jerk to him now but he wasn’t all that nice to him either. What Uraraka had said about him was true too. Kacchan would be pissed if they saved him.
He moved his hands up to his temples and rubbed them, feeling a headache forming. He felt the tear in himself growing, the internal battle becoming almost physically unbearable and exhausting. He wished this other side of him didn’t exist so he could just decide and do what needed to be done.
He looked up at his reflection and jumped, staring wide eyed at the teary, frightened version of himself shaking and avoiding his gaze.
We can’t go, it’s too risky. What if something goes wrong and someone else gets hurt? It’ll be our fault… We’ll fail again… We’re not capable of this!
“But I can't just leave Kacchan with them! Besides, I can help! Even if it’s small!”
But he’s so mean and scary… It hurts being around him. It hurts fighting… We don’t want to hurt anymore!
“Maybe you don’t want to but I want to fight! I want to show I’m worth everyone’s help and use it to help others! No one ever said this was going to be easy and safe but I still decided to do this!” He yelled at the reflection, eyes ablaze with frustration and anger.
How could this be a part of him? He was always willing to keep pushing and trying to achieve what he wanted so why was he always seeing this version of himself?
Why?! Why do we reject a part of us?! We’re scared, Deku, and weak! Everything hurts and if we keep doing this, we’re going to ruin our body!
“Because I’m not weak or hopeless or broken! I want to be a hero! Not whatever you are! I don’t want anything to do with you, I don’t want to be you anymore! You make me weak!”
Midoriya gasped as he shot up in his bed, sweating and panting, despite freezing. He looked around frantically, gradually realizing he was still in the hospital and sighed heavily. He quickly got up and ready to leave, his decision final on what he wanted to do. Save Kacchan.
Save his friend.
He was done listening to this side of him and would bury it with this, knowing it was time to let go of his past completely. He didn’t understand how this part of him stayed when he had everything he could have wanted and more. He was going to his chosen High School, had great friends, had the same quirk as his idol, was being taught by his idol, and was making progress with controlling his quirk. Everything was perfect for Midoriya but he was still at war with himself.
He growled quietly in frustration as he rested his head in his hands, pulling lightly at his hairs before heading out the door. He wanted to talk to someone about these thoughts and emotions but he didn’t know how or where to start when a bigger part of him wanted to consider this a new life. A new beginning for Izuku Midoriya. He liked the idea of it and tried to live as such, overall succeeding with the exception of his and Kacchans past and current relationship, but something still had a grip on his heart.
The green haired boy walked through the sliding doors and towards Kirishima, Todoroki, and Momo, looking at each one with a determined look. He needed to put his feelings aside now. It was time for action. He told the others his decision, Iida showing up soon after, and all five talking before coming to the agreement not to fight and to make it a stealth mission. Everyone was understandably on guard and nervous as they followed Momo’s tracker, keeping alert just in case things changed.
Midoriya stayed quiet throughout most of it and, unnoticed by his companions, avoided looking at his reflection. He was going to prove to even himself that he was fully capable of being a hero.
However, no matter how much he tried to keep himself calm or determined, he couldn’t ignore the heavy, gut feeling that something very bad was about to happen…
...and something very bad did happen that night. It was a night that would change everything for the young hero-to-be.
He groaned as he slowly walked back to his dorm, fatigue and soreness already setting in from his fight with Kacchan, who was following behind him. He peaked back at the overly aggressive boy, thinking about all that had happened before staring forward, reaching the building they were in. Despite the two having just hurt each other, he felt more at peace with the blonde, no longer scared to be around him. As Midoriya lost himself in thought, he didn’t notice Bakugou’s intense staring before coming to a complete stand still.
“Stop that.”
The green haired boy jolted slightly and turned to look at Kacchan nervously and confused.
“Stop what?”
“I don’t understand how you still manage to have that look in your eyes when you’ve been chosen. It’s annoying.”
“Look… in my eyes…?” Midoriya asked while trying to think of what the other was mentioning, not able to fast enough.
“It’s the look you’ve had ever since you found out you had no quirk. Stop it, you have one now and even if you didn’t, it doesn’t mean shit. So stop it before I rip your eyes out!” He growled and clenched his fists.
He looked at the other in shock, the small part of him he couldn’t get rid of leaping to his throat but he stuffed it down. He sighed and shook his head, turning away from the other.
“...You don’t get it, Kacchan… Besides, I’m fine so don’t wo-“
“You’re a damn idiot if you think pretending that part of you isn’t there, Deku. Tch, anyways. You better have it figured out in the morning or I’ll kill you.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and headed towards the dorm rooms, leaving Midoriya behind to think.
He crossed his arms and frowned deeply, gradually moving to his dorm. He was surprised that a part of him that was so small and ignored was evident to the one person he thought would never see it. He didn’t know if it was because Kacchan knew him for so long or if he was just that good at observation, but either way it didn’t change the fact that he was right. Midoriya had spent most of his life trying to erase a part of him that refused to be quiet.
Perhaps it was time he tried to listen.
He finished getting ready for the night and sat down on his bed, looking out the window and watching the night sky. He was starting to lose himself to his thoughts when he noticed his reflection in the glass, frowning more.
…He was so scary… We thought we were going to die… We should have been expelled, we aren’t-
“But none of that happened. We’re okay…”
Midoriya and his reflection stared at each other for a long while, a small smile forming on their face.
“I haven’t been very nice to myself, have I? I’m scared and it’s true… Everyone is better than me and I’ve only gotten here thanks to everyone’s help. However, that doesn’t make me weak. I’m… We’re strong and we’re only going to get better.” He said softly but with determination, his smile growing.
We’re… improving. ...I’m content…
Izuku Midoriya slowly opened his eyes, blinking away the sleepiness that lingered and slowly sitting up in his bed. He was up before his alarm and, despite the leftover pain from yesterday, felt well rested. He stood and moved towards the boys bathrooms to get ready, washing his face and letting the cold water wake him up faster. He looked at himself in the mirror, truly looked at himself, and took in everything.
He still saw the scared, quirkless child but no longer felt hatred or resentment. He felt content and whole. It wasn’t that child’s fault that he was made different, it wasn’t fair what happened to him, and he would never be equal to anyone.
But he could move past the setbacks he was given and had a chance to excel. All Might chose him for him, no quirks and all, and he wouldn’t let him down. He was going to succeed and surpass Kacchan and even his idol.
Izuku Midoriya, Deku, would become the greatest hero of all time and it wasn’t just for himself or a dream. He would do it for the different ones, the quirkless kids, and show them anything was possible. After all…
Anyone could be a hero.