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Hey dad…it’s Keith…I uh…I didn’t know where to go. I know it’s late, but I really need someone to talk to. Mum’s off doing good for the universe, the paladins are busy living their lives and Shiro... Well, that’s kind of why I’m here you see.
Shiro’s getting married tomorrow. I know you’re probably thinking to Adam. Guess you’re not caught up hu? Sorry about that.
Adam died a few months back. He was trying to save the world. He was his own kind of hero, and his memory won't be lost...they put his tombstone where Shiro's was...
So yea, then who’s Shiro getting married to? Well don’t congratulate me. Yea…I thought it would end up being the two of us. After everything I’ve done for him and he’s done for me, you’d think…
He got distant. I don’t know why dad…I wish I did.
I guess I was hoping that things would be back to normal when we got the real Shiro back.
I said I loved him. Yea…pretty stupid of me hu? Saying I love him? The funny thing is, he changed when I said that. His eyes flashed of the Shiro’s I know. I was ready to die with him dad...I didn't want to live in this world without him...
When Allura brought him back from the dead, he got a little cranky. Crankier than usual but I let it slide. I don’t know what coming back from the dead is like…
We shared a bed one night. Nothing happened! I wish it did.
It was during our road trip, Shiro and I were in the black lion.
Mum was programming some new training stimulation while we were trying to get some rest.
I don’t know why I went over to where he was. I kind of pushed myself in that single bed and squeezed by body close to him. I remember him pretending to still be asleep, but I knew he was up.
I wake up at night now…waking up from a dream and feeling like he’s behind me. That warmth…then I turn around and he’s not there. Is that how you felt? When mum was no longer around?
I know going into the bed with him probably wasn’t the wisest decision but, he didn’t kick me out. We were still cool and normal. We were busy on saving the world there really wasn’t time for relationships…We all fought long and hard...
When I awoke in the hospital after a tough battle - A battle where I cradled Shiro in my arm - he didn’t even show up to talk to me... Mum said he never came to my room. He’d only ask for updates.
After Adam died, I thought Shiro would come to me for comfort...it didn't happen. He wasn't even there for me...
I thought maybe he was you know grieving? He had to get things sorted through in his head. How did you grieve over mum’s departure? I got pretty messed up after you died…if it wasn’t for Shiro I wouldn’t be the man I am today.
I don’t blame either of you for leaving me. I know mum was protecting me and you were being a hero. I think I get that from you, stubborn. They say it’s a Galra trait but I think it’s a Kogane thing.
Anyways, when we went back to space to finally put an end to the war, we were so busy dad. Busy being hero's and defending the universe.
It hurt though, when we had free time on Atlas, everyone else was hanging out with friends and having a good time…Shiro was, as I said distant.
He was never seen in the halls. I even went to his room to find it empty, touched but empty.
I sat on his bed dad…I clutched a pillow and held it to my chest and pretended that it was him. I was lonely dad…were you ever lonely? If you were…I know how hurt you probably felt...
I took that pillow sheet…put it on my pillow and put it against the wall and pretended it was his warmth there…man I sound cheesy hu?
For someone who's so serious...a leader of Voltron having this pathetic crush...I put on my game face though when I was needed. I was strong for everyone in the midst of battle. But in the down times, during the quietness of the night…I was weak.
When Shiro pulled me aside the one day, his eyes were happy and he looked like he just couldn’t wait to tell me something.
I didn’t say much before he spilled it, 'I'm in love Keith! And it feels so good.'
I looked at him dad, like a deer in headlights. I didn’t know what to say. I thought he was in love with me! I went to say it back but then he told me about this guy he met on the Atlas, a teacher at the Garrison, who I never had...I didn't know he existed! Like where the hell did he come from!
I don't get it...When I looked at Shiro...he was happy… Why was he happy and I confused.
Was this who he was spending his time with? Is this why things got distant?
I snapped. I said some pretty mean words. Would it be bad dad…bad to say I don’t regret saying the words I did? I mean, how could he? How could he be so happy when I was so lonely? I felt complete with him…
Guess this other guy changed Shiro’s perspective on life. Made him happy…made him feel like he wasn’t alone...like he was complete...
I don’t get it…how can I feel so complete with him but he doesn’t feel the same way for me? Did I do something wrong?
I wish you were here dad…I could really use some advice right now. I don’t know how I’ll be able to sit through the wedding and watch him get married to this guy…
I’ve lost my home more than once, but this stings…this really hurts…I miss you dad…