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Such a strange concept. An odd, unnatural feeling.
There was someone- maybe many, who would fall in love with her.
Yet there only seemed to be one she ever fell for.
Love was something she was undeserving of. She learned that quickly, she wasn't stupid.
It was addictive, a torture unlike anything else.
Vira spent her life under the shadow of Katalina; bitter rivals, best of friends.
And then Katalina vanished, leaving a black hole of power and obsession that sucked her in and never let her out.
Luminiera knew. She seemed to know of all her thoughts, regardless of their nature. She followed out of choice, not because of some weird primal tie as Lyria had suspected.
Whether or not the beast wanted to comfort her or simply watch her dramatic buffoonery was still a mystery. Not like it really mattered- the primal bits that swirled around her were always cold and empty.
Beasts like herself were undeserving of comfort, despite how desperately they reached out for it.
Katalina looked upon her with such unveiled disgust. It sickened her, but made her heart race. A challenge. And at the same time, a thing to lean upon. Something that never wavered. She became certain of Katalina’s reactions. Her love of Vyrn, her expertise in battle, her hatred of Vira. All constants, things she was known for.
Rain beat down upon the canvas of the overhang, the team huddled under the awning. The masked Erune was looking into the distance, searching for something in the dark alleys. Maybe a friend, or a foe. The black knight held her cape over the trembling doll, trying to keep her warm. The massive wolf-man and… whatever that girl was in relation to him where also huddled together.
The soft sound of chimes were drowned out by the downpour as the primal beast made its appearance, flowing from her back like water, gracefully curling up around her neck like a spoiled cat. The airship should be docking soon, their mission over.
Wulf's ears pricked, turning to listen to something as the rain kept coming down.
“Foes. Wulf, do you smell them?”
Some dull shifting noises. The wolf-man's deep voice rumbled like the clouds overhead. “From the northwest. Good thing they're downwind. Can't tell how many-”
Chiming and chirping, Luminera butted against her neck. “...Stay back. I can take care of this.”
The others seemed to be eager to discourage her, out of pride or respect, but as the armour materialized and she felt herself resign her body to the primal, they eased off.
Messing with Vira was one thing. Messing with Luminiera was a whole nother beast.
In her fading vision, she saw figures turning the corner, a great horde of something, men or monsters, she could not tell.
***
She woke up in her cabin wracked with pain. Alone. Not even a bowl of lukewarm soup to comfort her.
Luminiera chimed in her lap, nuzzling her as she slowly woke up and stretched her tired limbs. Maybe the captain would scold her for her recklessness. Maybe Apollonia would.
If Katalina did she would most surely die on the spot.
Bones creaked and muscles wailed and her head pounded like a bell as she hobbled to the mess hall. No one batted an eye.
“What are you doing out of bed?!”
Eyes hazy and clouded with sleep and doubts Vira could hardly tell who was speaking to her. “I desire foodstuffs.”
Ah. Luminiera wishes to be my voice.
Her mind fogged over with a dark, impenetrable cloud. All she was focused on was food. That’s it. Lose vowels racked around her brain, an unfamiliar voice struggling to get through to her.
Clumsy hands reached and searched, Luminiera’s clinical deciphering of ingredients and packaged foods running through Vira’s mind. The beast quickly analyzed every item she saw, attempting to find something Vira’s body could actually digest.
Dried fruit, cereals, jerky- handfuls of dry oats would work.
She took the entire container, drowning out the person attempting to talk to her with a droning noise, as to not distress the poor human she was controlling.
The box was ripped from her hands, and slowly, Luminiera moved to look at the person, who was moving their mouth, but hardly saying a thing.
Naturally it was Katalina, going on about something or other.
She allowed her eyes to shine like candles, and still, the knight failed to realize she wasn't talking to Vira.
“Excuse me. My host requires sustenance.”
Still, she didn't shut up, she simply ignored the primal.
Turning on her heel, Luminiera strode to the cabinets, grabbing a large bowl this time, filling it with a mix of foodstuffs. Vira could select what she wanted back in their cabin.
“Vira, what is wrong with you?!”
“I am not Vira.”
“Yes you are! Snap out of it!”
Luminiera had many deep opinions of this woman Vira so loved. She allowed the primal bits to manifest, spinning around her like stars. “Please refrain from bothering my host.”
The young woman who held the other Primals stepped forward, tugging on Katalina’s sleeve. She whispered something, trying to tell the woman what was going on.
“Lyria, this doesn't concern you.”
Luminiera pitied the poor girl- the immense sorrow on her face betrayed a facade of adulthood, speaking to a deeper truth of childhood. She was still a girl, not yet a woman.
She would be dragged through hell itself. She already had been. Was it some sort of ritual for humans? To treat their families and friends and countrymen in this way?
“Please, allow me to pass. My host has yet to eat in many days.”
“Because you ran headfirst into trouble! Your party members had to clean up after you!”
“This body is fragile. I would not allow it to die.”
“That's not what I'm talking about!”
Luminiera locked eyes with the knight. “Than what are you referencing?”
“How could you do such a thing! You know you couldn't fight them all- that was suicide!”
“Like I said, I will not allow Vira to die. Do we not have a common goal there? Or do you wish for her to suffer needlessly? Attempt to restrain her like an animal?”
“I cannot condone such reckless actions!”
“You cannot? But when you do the same you are called a hero. What makes you and Vira so different?”
Katalina fumed, fury rising within her. Luminiera calmly poured a large container of water, picking up the food with assistance from an extra set of arms she summoned, before carefully walking past the fuming knight, down the hall, to her room.
The ceramics almost fell from her hands as she struggled to set them on the desk before Vira took over.
“Please… Eat…”
Her control of the body rapidly faded, quickly being shoved to the background as Vira regained consciousness.
She slowly blinked, looking at the vast array of foods before her. This wasn't the first time Luminiera had done this.
Small handfuls were chewed and nibbled. Eating was a chore, but her stomach cried out, and Luminiera wouldn't allow her to go hungry. That was one of the conditions of this exchange- as much as she might have hated it.
“...Did you speak to Katalina?”
She had not recollection of what happened when Luminiera took over- their only means of communication the pulses of feelings that flooded her body.
Almost falling from the chair, she felt her throat closing, her body becoming washed with a horrible, horrible feeling. She couldn't decipher what it meant, but it couldn't be good.
Struggling to stand, she stumbled to the bed, her freezing and tensing muscles making her move like a broken windup toy.
She had never felt Luminiera react in such a way. She had never felt the beast react like this- it was forcing her body to begin to curl into itself, to shut down- to reach into a deep slumber where nothing could hurt it.
Luminiera wanted to keep her safe. Very safe. Maybe too safe.
Risk was something necessary in battle, uncertainty was unavoidable- but such things were unacceptable to Luminiera. To her such things had to be impossible- she needed to account and predict everything could hurt this body- everything that could hurt Vira.
Failure was unacceptable, death was impossible. Luminiera would never allow such a valuable asset to die or suffer. Vira was perhaps the only thing anchoring her here anymore.
Fear was the only logical answer. Should she fear everything, she would be more cautious, leaving less work for Luminiera to do, leading them into fewer dangerous situations. But she was not stupid, Vira was too boastful, filled with pride- she couldn’t become a coward at the drop of a hat. She could never really be a coward.
Vira deserved a great deal of respect for that, in Luminiera’s opinion. She deserved much more respect than she received.
But asking for such things could only lead to disappointment. Asking for many such thoughts or intangible things would lead to sorrow. Luminiera was well aware of every thought that ran through Vira’s Head. Crushing emptiness and repeated phrases likely pulled from others mixed with what once was admiration that had become tainted into obsession had long dulled into despair. Humans were strange, social creatures. Vira was starving for a different kind of food, but she could not find it. When she did, she refused to eat it, believing herself somehow unworthy of existence, unworthy of consuming it.
Vira’s actions greatly confused the primal, even as the woman clutched at the sheets and pulled the warm knits around herself, like an unbreakable shield, defending her from the outside world.
The only one who could protect her was her.
Luminiera needed Vira to survive. There was a reason for her to continue living but she couldn’t look at the ever growing list. She refused to find reasons to exist.
Fury bubbled and rolled within her. She had once demanded that Vira fight Katalina and the rest of the crew- they sought to hurt her. First with swords and guns and other primals, and then with silence and isolation.
Did they fail to realize that Vira was not herself? Not who she was before? She was not the woman they were expecting of her- that woman had been slain in the scramble to replace the very woman she loved.
Vira was the scraps of an individual, barely enough framework for Luminiera to take hold within.
Perhaps the part of her who died had become reincarnated. Eaten alive by Luminiera’s greedy, gaping maw. She had stolen Vira. Stolen her face, her name, her body. Residing within the hollow crevices of her heart, seeping into the cracks yet unable to keep her together, unable to fix everything.
Dormant fury pointed to one foe. One source.
Katalina.
The woman who Vira loved so much was the source of all of this. Both directly and indirectly.
But Luminiera couldn't do that. She could not kill Katalina. She couldn't crush Vira like that- but oh how she wanted to.
It was all her fault. All her fault. And yet it wasn't. It was a curious dance of obsession and respect and love and hatred- all the sides of the same coin, melting into one another, one and the same.
Vira weakly opened her arms, allowing Luminiera to squirm into an embrace. The light of her body slowly dulled, allowing the human the peace to sleep.
Footsteps moved down the hall, not even bothering to stop at the door. Oh, how they didn't know.
Those humans- they would never know. Maybe Lyria, but she was different. Vira was the core of Luminiera’s entire existence now.
These humans had no sense of mercy. No idea how patient Luminiera was being. She could wipe them all away in an instant- send the ship down in flames. But she didn't. Because Vira cared for some of them. With just a fraction of her heart.
The doll, her tortured life being tossed around like a broken toy. The knight with a father she refused to value. The masked man with more secrets than the island itself. The wolf-man and how he cared for that little girl.
Vira would cry over them if they were gone. Her heart as a forced leader couldn't let them die.
Luminiera wished she could tell Vira many things. But she could not.
If she could, she wished she could know that crying doesn't mean weakness. It means love.