Work Text:
Always Enough
He wasn’t home. He still wasn’t home.
The movie was originally scheduled to wrap 3 weeks ago, but it ran over and THEN they needed to do re-shoots of some key scenes. It was a common part of the business, but that didn’t make me miss him any less.
I hadn’t seen my Matthias in months. I wanted him home.
Fall was my favorite season and this would be our first one together. I wanted to pick apples, buy pumpkins for the porch, watch scary movies, and hand out candy to trick-or-treaters. And I wanted to do it together.
Fall had shown up, but Matthias hadn’t.
The whirling winds on this cold October evening sent chills through my entire body. It was that sudden kind of cold that made your scalp tingle and your limbs feel stiff. This summer had been exceptionally drawn out and much warmer than usual. While the fall weather was very welcome, the onslaught of cold air was a shock to my system.
I sunk further down into the tub and sighed as my shivering was tamed by the warm water lapping against my skin. I didn’t even realize when I dozed off…
*************
“Mom! Mom! This one! I want this one!”
“Which one, baby? Oh! Batman! Excellent choice, sweet pea. You’ll look so scary!”
“Mom,” my oldest said, shaking his head, “Batman isn’t scary, he’s cool!”
“Right. I’m so sorry. Yes, he is the coolest. You wanna know a secret?” I asked, leaning down to whisper in his ear. “Daddy was almost Batman once. I bet he’ll be super jealous that you get to do it before him.”
Julien’s eyes got wide. It was no secret that Matthias had once been offered the role of the Dark Knight. He turned it down, stating that he felt too young at the time to take the role. You thought that, somewhere in the back of his mind, he’d always wondered ‘what if?’, but he took it in stride. Your husband was not a man with regrets. And ‘Far From the Madding Crowd’, the movie that he had taken instead, was a huge hit for him and garnered much more praise than Batman v. Superman had.
Your son, happy with his choice of costume, scampered off into the Halloween store to look for black makeup to put around his eyes. He very seriously informed you that he ‘couldn’t be Batman without it’.
Walking through the racks, you came upon a sight that made your heart stop. Matthias was holding Dominique, your youngest, and cooing gently to her as they looked at baby costumes. Dominique was only 6 months old, but Matthias insisted that she have a costume just like her big brother, despite the fact that she’d more than likely be asleep in her stroller for the entirety of trick-or-treating.
Your two beautiful children had been named after Matthias’ mother and father. You had never been especially close to your family, so when Matthias had suggested that your son be named after his father, you had no objections. Julien was a thoughtful and extremely bright boy. He loved school and was already reading books meant for students at least 5 years ahead of his current grade. Matthias was an avid reader himself, and he loved that about his son. That said, you saw something else in your son. Whenever you found yourself in the kitchen trying out new recipes for the bakery, Julien was right alongside you. His superior intellect seemed especially keen at identifying flavor combinations that you never would have dreamed of on your own. While your husband saw your son becoming an engineer or an astronaut, you saw him as a world-renowned chef or food critic. Either way, the sky was the limit for your first born. As long as he was happy with his choice, you were happy.
While Matthias had been close to both of his parents, his mother had been his best friend in the entire world…until he met you. When Dominique was born, you swore that in addition to his mother’s name, she somehow inherited his mother’s soul as well. She and Matthias had shared an amazing bond from the moment she came into the world. In those first couple months of her life, you often woke in the middle of the night to find Matthias’ side of the bed empty. There was never a doubt in your mind where he was. Quietly, you’d tiptoe down the hall until you reached the nursery. If Matthias, knew you were outside the door, he never let on. You’d sit on the floor outside the room and listen to him tell her story after story. She got to hear about how you and Matthias had met. She got stories about her godfather, Tom Hardy, and all the inappropriate shenanigans that he and her father had gotten up to on movie sets. She heard about how excited you and Matthias had been both times you found out that you were pregnant. She also got to hear all about her mom. Matthias’ stories about you and how much he loved you always brought tears to your eyes. You knew how much you loved him; and he told you and showed you every day just how much he loved you. But it was a different experience hearing him tell someone else.
A happy gurgle bought you out of your reverie. You’d been spotted. One of Dominique’s chubby little hands reached for you and her big, gummy smile made your heart melt.
As you approached the pair, you could hear Matthias whisper, “Look, baby! There’s your beautiful mama.”
When you reached them, you gave your baby a quick peck on the cheek and a blew a raspberry that made her giggle before grasping your husband by the back of his neck and pulling him down for a kiss that was hardly suitable in public. He responded in kind and you had no doubt that you’d be wrapped in his arms had he not been holding your daughter.
He pulled away, dazed, but with a huge smile on his handsome face.
“What was that for, exactly, Mrs. Schoenaerts?”
“I just love you. That’s all.”
He smiled and leaned down to kiss your lips lightly.
“Well then, that’s enough. That’s always enough.”
Smiling up at him, you turned your attention to the wall of costumes in front of you.
“So, what have you decided on?”
“Well…I’m torn. It’s either the ladybug…or the dragon.”
You couldn’t help but laugh.
“Honey, those are two VERY different choices. Why don’t we let Domi decide?”
You plucked both costumes off the rack and held them in front of your daughter. Before you even had the chance to really let her look at them, she growled and kicked her foot out towards your left hand.
Simultaneously, you and Matthias both said, “Dragon”.
With your daughter’s costume in hand, Matthias turned and headed towards the register.
Looking back, he said, “Honey, are you coming? Honey? Honey? Honey?...”
***************
“Honey. Honey, wake up. Baby, I’m home.”
I opened my eyes, suddenly aware that I was in the tub and very chilly from the water that had cooled around me. In a daze, I looked up and was met with the stormy blue eyes of my boyfriend.
Despite my chattering teeth, I smiled and pulled him down for a deep kiss.
That, unfortunately, only lasted a moment before the shivering was bad enough that Matthias had to pull away for fear of a bitten lip.
He stood up and grabbed my big, fluffy towel from the rack, holding it out for me to step into. He dried me thoroughly, all the while, kissing me and telling me how much he missed me and how glad he was to be home. Once I was sufficiently warmed up, he picked me up and carried me to bed where he quickly shucked his own clothing and crawled in, wrapping himself around me like an octopus.
As I began to drift off in his arms, he casually asked, “So, before I woke you up, you said the word ‘dragon’. What in the world were you dreaming about?”
“Our kids.”
If he was shocked, he never let on. I told him the entire dream, all the way down to the details of our son one day becoming a master chef. He never once laughed, but listened intently for the entire tale.
“I love you,” he said, quietly. “I hope you know just how much. And, one day, I hope that your dream comes true.”
Just before falling asleep, I heard myself say, “I love you too. And that’s enough. That’s always enough.”