Chapter Text
Josie once thought that the pain of a heartbreak coming from an intense first love was the worst experience and feeling she ever had, in all her 15 years of life. Now, she is sure that she didn’t know any better when she concluded that. It didn’t take not even a full day after turning 16 for her to feel the most excruciating pain she had ever felt, something that she is sure that was going to change her life, forever.
When the woman that was their biological mother appeared out of nowhere, as if nothing happened at all, she wasn’t really thinking about consequences when she decided to approach her, to know much more about her. To see, to touch, to ask so many questions that always bothered her nights from time to time. Her excitement was over the edge, even though Lizzie wasn’t just as amused as she was. Sure, she was still upset that her mother couldn’t attend the party, but somehow, Jo’s presence made her heart get lighter.
Jo was such a beautiful woman, no wonder her father fell hard for her. To think she had her name after her and that they were actually a bit similar in more than one aspect, and that their connection was quickly deepening, made Josie think “Well, perhaps this won’t be that awful of a birthday”. And again, she didn’t know any better.
One moment she was having a great time with her biological mother, the other she was being buried alive, then she was kissing her evil ex out of nowhere and to end that hell of a night, she was being forced to siphon all the magic from her mother’s body. All those things hit hard, leaving her with a mess of mixed feelings when she fell down on her bed to sleep. She cried all night, and even though Lizzie was there to share the pain, deep down she suspected that what she was feeling was a bit worse than her twin. The image of her mother disappearing and her father crying and looking so heartbroken - something that they never saw before - was for sure going to be carved on their hearts and mind for a long long time.
That night was supposed to be special, a great time to remember. Now all Josie wanted to do, was to forget, forever.
xxx
Penelope sighed for the umpteenth time, looking at the ceiling of her room as if at any moment something new could appear. She wasn’t sleepy at all and somehow her cheeks were kinda hurting, she had no idea why. Perhaps because ever since she and Josie stopped kissing and bid silent goodbyes she hadn’t stopped smiling? No, of course that wasn’t the case, not at all. She was just...High. On feelings, that is. A lot happened, for sure, and she wasn’t expecting. Fighting zombies? She couldn’t imagine herself doing that not even in her dreams. Kissing Josie again? She couldn’t imagin- No, she actually could imagine that, in fact, sometimes she caught herself doing that with a very creative mind.
It just seemed so...Unreal. Josie’s lips were so soft and their kiss still felt like it fit so well together, like a piece of a puzzle. She missed her so much and yet she couldn’t bring herself to say it, or to make things easier for her, or at least try to be her friend more than her enemy. Of course she loved to tease Josie to death while making sure that Lizzie felt her real fury and ability of doing mean things, however, she missed those times when Josie didn’t feel uncomfortable around her, when she shared her fears and secrets without doubting that Penelope would ever go around saying it to everyone. Josie’s distrust in her now was a collateral effect, but she was positive that she could change that, at the end of her plan.
As Penelope hugged her pillow and bit on her long necklace while smiling like a fool, she remembered saying to MG that everything she did was for a reason. Now looking at the present time, she herself broke that idea. Their kiss wasn’t supposed to happen, it wasn’t part of the plan and she had no reasons behind if not for the the strong urge. That did no harm, though. It just made it even more special.
Feeling on the clouds like a silly little girl, Penelope slept like an angel, for the first time in a long time.
xxx
On the days that followed, things didn’t quite go as Penelope expected. Well, she should know better, but deep down she thought that perhaps things would change a bit for her and Josie. It wasn’t that it got worse, it’s just that nothing happened, at all. The girl was nowhere to be seen and for the rare moments that she saw her, she just wasn’t in the mood to talk or even look up to anyone but Lizzie.
Penelope knew when it was great time to push strings, she wasn’t that dumb, so she respected that. She couldn’t bring herself to actually forget it happened - she was sure Josie didn’t do that too - but for now, maybe it was for the best. Everyone knew how the twins were feeling, they could also see the same type of pain in doctor Saltzman’s eyes. It was a hard family time, so it was just the right thing to leave them be.
MG was also feeling sad and itchy to go talk to Lizzie, to offer her support, but Penelope soon stopped his attempts. She remembered that Lizzie was cancelled for that moment, and deep down, she also wanted him to respect her time. See? She wasn’t that bad. It’s just that no one knew that.
"Man, I still can’t believe we fought fricking zombies!" Speaking of him, he was talking non stop while both calmly ate. Penelope stole glances at the twins on the other table from time to time, as they talked to each other while looking slightly better.
"What a great time to remember, MG." She rolled her eyes while pointing at their food, having the unpleasant memory of the zombie’s smell and goo everywhere.
He wasn’t bothered at all.
"But really! We make a great team, P! You, me and Hope!"
"Hope?"
"Don’t try to deny it, you two bonded pretty well with your mutual hatred towards Lizzie."
"She did alright." Penelope couldn’t help but smile, knowing that the red haired girl wasn’t all that bad. She liked to tease her - of course, she did that to everyone - but Hope was actually pretty cool, even though she was too emo for her taste.
"Anyway, this school, man...It’s crazy. And to think that today is remembrance day... Like, really appropriate."
"It sure is, MG…" Penelope sighed, looking briefly to Josie once again. "It sure is."
xxx
Remembrance Day was never really a day that did much to the Saltzman twins routine, but ever since that night, both of them silently knew that things were changed. The fact that it all happened so close only made it become even more important.
"So you’re saying that you’re going to write her a letter?" Lizzie asked Josie, as both of them went out of their classroom."
"Yeah, I think it’s going to make me feel better."
"How?"
"There’s a lot of things that I couldn’t ask or say to her, MG always says that these things help him so why not try?"
"Huh…" Lizzie looked down, seeming to be thoughtful.
"Maybe you should also try that."
"I don’t know, I think I want to just forget that night for now."
Josie sighed. She thought she wanted that too, until she woke up the next day and all she did was to feel even more. Even though it ended badly, it was a special night. She couldn’t do that easily.
Both girls walked slowly, sharing more small talk before Lizzie caught eyes of some werewolf boys talking loudly, sharing gossip just like the girls they condemned so much. Two words got her attention, even though one of them made her heart ache a bit.
"Raf...Girlfriend..."
"Josie, wait." She stopped her tracks, putting a hand on Josie’s belly so she could stop too. Lizzie approached the boys and with a bright smile, interrupted their conversation. "Hello boys, what’s with the commotion?"
"Oh, blondie, didn’t you see? Your boyfriend’s dead ex-girlfriend is back!"
Even though Josie and Lizzie were fraternal twins, their expression made them look like one and the same.
"What?"
xxx
After Penelope ended her class and parted ways with her witch friends, she went out for a walk at the yard and found MG under a tree, seeming really concentrated in writing something. She went there out of curiosity, but in reality she just didn’t want to admit that he was becoming a pretty good and fun friend for her, for a change.
"Hey." She smiled as he looked up, putting her hand on the trunk tree to support her body as she crossed her feet. "Are you actually doing homework for a change?"
"As if you actually do yours, P." He gave her a side smile, turning his attention back to the paper he had in hands just to clean it from eraser’s crumbs. "It’s actually for my nana."
"Oh? You’re one of them?"
"Them who?"
"The people who writes to their dead relatives."
Her voice sounded a bit mockingly, which made MG roll his eyes but still keep the side smile.
"You really know how to be sensitive." That was her turn to smile, looking down to try and take a peek at MG’s letter. - It’s good, you should try it.
"I see no reason for that. They’re dead and if what people say is true and they become omnipresent, then they should already know about our feelings towards them, no use to wait for a letter once a year."
"It’s not about that." He looked up once again, now more curious as to why Penelope acted so cold like that. "It’s about having faith? Like, connecting to them, not forgetting them and just talking, it can give you some peace, some relief. When I talk to my grandma, I feel it’s like the times when I used to visit her and we sat at her house’s porch, she always fed me so much food and we stayed there until late night…"
Penelope saw MG’s eyes glint a bit while he talked, a sad longing smile on his lips.
"She was truly the only person that I felt I could talk to without fearing anything. So when I write these letters, to me, it’s just like another special visiting day, to wherever she may be now."
The brunette couldn’t suppress the small smile. That was kinda beautiful to hear. She somehow wished she could express her emotions like that.
"That’s why I think you should try it, P. Maybe you don’t even need to do it every year, one can already provide you great feelings, closure, who knows. Your parents would be happy, I’m sure."
Even though it wasn’t MG’s intention, the mention of her parents made her facade change. The soft feeling she felt while hearing his previous words just crushed and vanished. It really wasn’t just as easy as it was for him.
"Well, Milton...My mother died while giving birth to me and my father killed himself because he hated me for it so, I don’t see why I should bother. I don’t feel anything for them."
The boy was caught by surprise, even more when he saw her shrugging like it was nothing. He knew her parents were dead but didn’t know why and now, what scared him was that she actually really did mean those last words.
"Damn, P...I’m...Sorry."
"It’s ok."
She turned to support her back on the tree, now looking around to see if something interesting was happening. The air between them got heavy for sure, and on the moment that MG got up and said he had to go to the gym, she knew that he really didn’t have to.
xxx
Rafael’s dead ex-girlfriend now being alive for sure did things to the twins humour. On Lizzie’s case, it was out of pure jealousy. She didn’t actually think about the fact that the girl was back just like their mother and that it wasn’t really her. All Lizzie cared was that now her relationship with Raf could be even more difficult to develop. His words at her birthday party still lingered on her mind but everyone knew how much of a stubborn she was, just like her mother Caroline. She wasn’t going to give up on him that easily, “mark my words” as she said to Josie.
Now, on Josie’s case, it wasn’t that much of a jealousy thing. Her feelings for Raf could still be there ~somewhere~ in between her mess of mixed feelings, but she couldn’t bring herself to think about that. What enraged her was that again that monster who did that to her family was doing the same thing to another person, taking advantage of their pain, of their mind, and that was awful. She for sure didn’t want him to go through what she felt, she wouldn’t want that to anyone, really.
So when she found out about that, she went out to the garden, stomping her steps all her way to breathe some fresh air. She stopped by the beautiful types of flowers that the kids took care of, closed her eyes and took deep breaths, to calm herself down. For someone who was sweet and didn’t always feel angry - if not for Penelope, as usual - she was for sure worked up a lot on those last few days.
Speaking of the devil, when she slowly opened her eyes, she saw the girl who shall not be named a few steps away, looking at her while under a tall tree. Even though Josie wanted to look away, she just didn’t bother to do it. She only looked down to her feet when memories of their last kiss started to flash her mind. What a great timing, really. It didn’t take long until dreaded footsteps approached her, already warning that it was who she thought it was.
"What do you want?" She looked up, seeing Penelope’s annoying smirk all plastered on her face like always.
"Hello to you too, JoJo."
Josie rolled and closed her eyes, putting her hands on her waist and lifting her head to the sky, as she breathed deeply once again.
"What are you doing? Trying to siphon all the heat from the sun?"
Penelope’s voice had that teasing tone but it wasn’t that much of a mockery. It was more playful, giving the allusion that the girl was just like those flowers, but Josie didn’t receive it like that.
"I’m trying to be alone, away from annoying people like you." Josie looked at her again, clearly being in a defensive mode as if Penelope was attacking her just like any other day. If anyone not biased saw that, they would know that it wasn’t really that close of a Penelope Park usual attack.
"Wow Josie, I’m just trying to have a simple conversation with you. No need to bite me like this."
"And why are you doing that? Do you want something from me?"
"No? I just thought that after that kiss and all, even though you did stated that you still hate me… " Her voice lowered, just now remembering that. "...I just thought that maybe our relationship wouldn’t be that bad anymore, just a bit, and I would be allowed to ask how you are."
Josie sighed loudly, clearly not in the mood to be dealing with this.
"Look Penelope, I did mean what I said. That kiss was just a thing from the moment, I felt like I wanted, I took it and that’s all. You and me, we’re still at square one, don’t mix things up."
Even though Josie couldn’t really see - Penelope was a hell of actress sometimes, really - those words hurt. Penelope gulped quietly, recovering herself quickly to be able to answer without letting her true feelings escape.
"I didn’t mix things up, Josie." She tried to smirk, but somehow it seemed more of a sad brief smile. "It’s not like I was expecting us to be dating or something like that again. Just didn’t see you coming for my neck with full armory and all. But whatever, do your thing."
She waved her hand nonchalantly and turned on her heel, making her way to go back to the school again. Josie was left a bit speechless, now that she had the silence to think about the way she acted. It sure was a bit stupid and rude, even more because Penelope didn’t say anything bad, but it was already done. She could think about that later, knowing Penelope, she would never take that to the stone that she called a heart.
xxx
When the night came, Josie was about to deliver her letter when Lizzie showed up, surprising her with a letter to their biological mother from herself. Josie felt proud of her sister and she was quite sure that writing those things helped them, even though that was also another shitty day for many reasons. Her father was out, grieving in his way, and some of the students were also out to pay condolences to their loved ones. It was at times like these that Josie got to notice just how much of a big place their school was.
The emptiness of the building gave it a eery feelling, but Josie was already used to it, so she just felt like it was her home. As she laid down to sleep after dinner, quite happy that she was back to feeling hunger again, she held the necklace Hope gave it to her and for the first time, her thoughts distanced themselves from the cycle of both her mothers, father, monsters and Penelope. She thought about how Hope always dealt with days like those, knowing what happened to her family and all. Josie was sad that she lost her biological mother again but at least she had three more people from her family.
Watching Lizzie snore almost soundlessly by her side, a sudden realization hit her just like a car. Hope didn’t have her parents anymore but...Penelope also didn’t. Her throat suddenly felt weird, like a knot was there. Penelope never talked much about her family but she knew that her parents were dead and she was raised by her aunt. Somehow, guilt filled Josie’s whole body. Perhaps Penelope was just trying to distract herself from thoughts about them, while talking to Josie? And she did that to her without thinking twice…
Josie sat on her bed, eyes now wide open while she bit her lower lip, worried about Penelope’s feelings. Who was she to lie, of course she cared about her ex, just like when they were dating. She had a heart and even though Penelope hurt her a lot, she couldn’t help but still feel like that. For a moment, she ponders the idea of getting up, maybe see if Penelope is wandering around like she did before going to sleep. Maybe she could apologize? She should do it now, because she wouldn’t have the courage to do it later.
Giving one last look to her sleeping sister, Josie got up, took a thin sweater from the closet and went out in search of Penelope. If she gathered even more courage while walking, who knows she could even actually go to her room to do it. Yeah, that would be great. Josie walked through the corridors, slowly getting confident and thinking about the words she was going to say.
A lot of it was empty and dark, but she could still recognize some people, students entering their dorms to sleep. It took her a few minutes but Josie succeeded in finding Penelope, soon enough. She was entering the corridor to go to Penelope’s door, while the girl was going on the opposite way, perhaps for some fresh air.
"Hey, Penelope." Josie let out a brief coy smile as they slowly walked to each other. Even though there wasn’t much light, she could see Penelope had her chin up as always, expression a bit blank. "I wanted to-" Just as they got close enough to stop by each other, Penelope didn’t seem to get the idea of what Josie wanted.
To the taller girl’s surprise, Penelope bumped - quite harshly - her shoulder on hers, not even bothering to look at her direction. Josie stopped her steps and looked back to stare astonishedly at Penelope’s figure, while she kept her pace as if Josie was nothing but a bump on her road. Josie was caught so off guard that she couldn’t quite yell anything at the girl, she just watched her until Penelope went out towards the garden, just like she predicted.
Was she that hurt for what happened earlier? Josie looked down, surprised and also a bit hurt for what just happened, feeling even more guilty. On that moment, she decided that maybe talking to her on that day was a bad idea. She just needed now to make sure that she wouldn’t chicken out and would actually apologize to her later.
xxx
On the next day, Josie wished, expected and hoped, but she wasn’t able to meet Penelope at all. They didn’t share classes on that day, neither did Lizzie, so it was a bit hard to find her without actually looking for her. For a moment she thought that she should go to her friends to ask about her, but that would seem a bit desperate.
Her mind - full with scenarios and apologies - was soon invaded with other angry thoughts about how her father was out with Hope again, so she kinda forgot about it. It was only when she was taking a nap right before dinner was ready that she had something actually come to her, rather than bumping into it.
With the loud banging on their door, Josie woke up a bit dizzy as she saw Lizzie stopping her nail polishing moment so she could go get it, annoyed as hell.
MG.
"Guys, I know you hate her but…" His breath was faltering, as if he had run hard to arrive there.
"What?"
"It’s Penelope."
It took Josie just a few seconds to get sobered up from sleepiness after hearing that name.
"Penelope...She’s missing."