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You sat on your bed, biting your lip and staring at the little white stick in your hand. You felt sick. It felt like your stomach was twisting. It felt like your heart was in your throat. You couldn’t believe it. You honestly couldn’t believe it had happened.
You were pregnant.
You were pregnant.
Oh god, how the hell was you going to tell Aaron? Especially after everything that had happened in the last year and a half.
It had been one of the worst moments of your life. The nightmares that had plagued you for the first few weeks afterwards had been terrible. You had woken up screaming and crying, clutching onto the blankets. Every time Aaron woke up, holding you close to him as you sobbed in his arms. Howled at the unfairness of it all. You always felt guilty about waking Aaron up but he never said anything, just reassured you that everything was fine. That the both of you would get through this. Together. Just like you always did.
Your phone buzzed on the table next to you, making you jump out of your own thoughts. Quickly getting up, you shoved the pregnancy test into the draw, hoping it would be hidden until you could make up your own mind. It was only fair that you sorted out your own thoughts before telling Aaron about the big news.
Looking at the screen, you realised it was the man himself, telling you he had just landed and he would be home soon.
“Y/N! Is this right?” Jack called from the dining room.
Gulping, you brushed your hair away from your face and squared your shoulders. Jack needed you at the moment. You needed to concentrate on him. “Hang on, I’m coming. What is it again? Maths?” you replied, hurrying down the stairs. You needed to be strong for Jack and look after him.
When you got to the living room, you saw Jack sitting at the table, a stumped look on his face. It made you wonder what your child would look like when he was that age. Would he look more like Aaron or more like you? Or a mixture of both? So many possibilities and you wanted it so badly.
“I think it’s these fractions and decimals” he sighed, head in his hand as he scrawled an answer on his homework book.
“Come on then, me and you will go through it before Daddy comes home” you assured, sitting down next to him and rubbing his back soothingly. Jack stressed over Maths a lot and you didn’t want him to get too upset. Especially not with his Daddy coming home soon.
“Daddy’s coming home?” Jack said eagerly, perking up at the mention of his father.
You couldn’t help but laugh, the relationship between Jack and Aaron warmed your heart. You knew that Aaron was a brilliant Dad and would be so again once your own child came into this world. However the dark thoughts began to whisper into your mind. Shaking your head slightly to get rid of them, you rested your hand on your stomach and squeezed slightly.
“Of course he is Jack, I got his text a few minutes ago. He won’t be long though, so let’s get cracking then” you nodded, turning to look over his work. He had done pretty well, most of the answers were right and the ones he had gone wrong with, you could see why. “Jack you got this. You’re doing well, there’s just a few mistakes but we can work those out” you told him, pointing them out on the page.
By the time Aaron had come home, you and Jack had finished his homework, the dinner you were cooking before was ready and you had just sent Jack to wash his hands before you could all eat. He looked so tired after a long case and you felt bad for him almost instantly.
“Hey! Welcome home” you greeted, coming over to the door as you watched him shrug off his jacket. As soon as that was off, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
He sighed into you, enjoying just the pair of you holding each other for a moment. This is what he needed after the case they had just solved. A child abductor taking children in the middle of the night dressed like clowns. It was terrifying and horrible. But being in your arms was enough to forget it for a moment as his weary muscles relaxed at the feeling of home.
“Dinner’s ready, Jack’s upstairs washing his hands. So all you need to do is sit down and wait on our son” you said firmly, leaving no room for arguments.
Hotch beamed at you, realising that you didn’t know what you had just said. He loved that you called Jack your son. Although Hayley would always be his mother, he knew you loved him just like he was your own. He pressed a soft kiss to your lips, savouring the touch for as long as possible before you pulled away.
As soon as you were in the kitchen, you let out an unsteady breath. You were so nervous about telling Aaron you felt sick. Although you hoped it was due to nerves, you really didn’t want to start being sick in the evenings. Because the last time you could have killed whoever said women suffered morning sickness. More like all-day sickness. “Please be okay” you whispered, stroking your stomach.
Carrying in the dinner plates, you smiled as you saw Jack telling his father all about his day at school. Hotch was listening intently, smiling at a few bits that Jack told him. God, he was such a good father. You had no doubt that he would be to this one as well.
“This looks amazing, so how was your day?” Aaron asked, tucking into his dinner as you sat down next to him.
“Oh I’m fine! It was great, actually. Work was great” you smiled, feeling anything but. You were so worried about what he would think. Or he would notice before you could tell him.
Aaron’s brow furrowed and he looked at you like you had grown a second head. “Yeah?” he asked, looking you over.
“Just been so tiring. Jack, why don’t you tell your Dad about your exam results? Your teacher was so impressed” you suggested, beaming at Jack. You knew as soon as Jack talked about his day, Aaron would be too immersed in him to question you too hard.
With every mouthful you felt sicker and sicker. You didn’t know if it was the nerves clawing at you or the beginning of the so-called morning sickness. If only you knew what Aaron would say before you told him. If only there was a way you could be sure of what he would say.
“Y/N?” Aaron asked, frowning at you.
“Sorry, I was miles away. What did you say again?” you smiled, shaking your head and looking between the two.
“Jack was just saying it would be a good idea to go to the theme park this weekend. What do you think? It would be great to go out together” Aaron repeated, slightly concerned with you. You had been acting strangely ever since he had got back. What had happened since he had left for the case?
“Yeah that would be perfect. I’ll even make us a picnic, how about that?” you grinned, excited about the thought of you spending the whole day together. It would be a nice chance to relax.
“YES!” Jack cried, pumping his fist before running out the dining room.
“JACK! Come and clean your plate away!” Hotch called after him but you laid a hand on his arm.
“It’s okay, I’ll do it. He’s just excited” you assured, getting up to clean the table. Aaron turned his hand over to capture yours, pressing a kiss into your palm.
As you was washing up, lost in your own thoughts, you didn’t notice Aaron sneaking up on you. That was until his arms snaked around your waist. You jumped, soapy watch splashing at him as you turned around to meet his grinning face.
“Shut up! That wasn’t funny!” you insisted, biting your lip to hold in your giggles.
“Of course not” he laughed, wiping some of the water off his face with his hand before flicking it back at you.
“Aaron!” you squealed, pushing him away from you as you moved away from the sink. He gathered some water and walked towards you. “Whoa! Whoa! Truce! Before we end up flooding the kitchen!” you warned, coiling up a towel in defence.
“I’ve fought people with guns, you think a towel will finally get me?” he asked, raising an eyebrow sceptically at you.
“But they’re not your girlfriend!” you replied, watching him carefully.
“Fine, fine, truce it is. Can I have the towel please? I swear it’s to dry my hands” he smiled, reaching out for it. You nodded, passing it over to him wearily. Aaron could be sneaky sometimes.
When he looked up at you, you could see his eyes full of worry. “Are you sure you’re alright? You’ve been quiet tonight” he murmured, bringing you into him.
“Of course. I’m just a little tired that’s all. Come on, let’s go sit down. I’ll finish up in the morning” you soothed, kissing him lightly before tugging him into the living room. You really were tired and you couldn’t think of anything better right now than putting your feet up and cuddling up to Aaron.
As you sat down, Aaron pulled the blankets over the both of you. Resting your head on his chest, you relaxed into him, enjoying the soft, gentle caress of his finger tips gliding up and down your arm. Now this was perfect.
Just hearing his heartbeat under your ear and feeling the gentle rise and fall of his chest soothed you. You could tell just being by him relaxed him too. Whatever he had seen on the case had shaken him. You could tell, by the tenseness of his shoulders and the set of his jaw. It was the worry on his face, the victims of the crime still not forgotten, no matter how hard he tried to separate his work and home life.
You wondered if anything would change once you had a little one. Would he be around more? Or would he work extra hard to make the world safer for his children? Would he make sure that there was always someone with Jack and the little one? Would he allow you to visit him at the office, Jack and the new baby in tow? You hoped so, you were quite good friends with his teammates and you knew they would be overjoyed at your news. Especially after what had happened before.
Trailing a hand over your stomach, you nuzzled into his chest, sighing contently. You would have to book an appointment soon, make sure everything was alright and check how far along you were. Would Aaron notice that your body was beginning to change already?
“DAD! Come tuck me in!” Jack yelled from the stairs.
“Coming. I’ll only be a few minutes” Aaron muttered, kissing your head before detangling himself from you.
As soon as he was gone, you curled up in his place, enjoying the warm, cosy feeling that erupted. You could fall asleep right now from how tired you were.
After Jack was tucked into the night, Aaron came into the living room, seeing you curled up under the blankets, half asleep. Smiling softly, he knelt next to you and brushed the hair away from your face. “Hey, I think it’s time for bed” he suggested, falling more in love with you as you looked up with him with bleary eyes.
“Yeah okay, just… I have something to tell you first” you murmured, pushing yourself up.
“Something we can talk about in bed?” he asked, pulling you up and wrapping the blanket around your shoulders.
“Yeah, I guess we can take it to bed” you nodded, stretching out your tired muscles and heading up the stairs. Hotch went around the house, checking all the windows and doors were locked before he finally came to bed.
“Everything okay?” you asked, as he got undressed for bed. You were already wrapped up in bed, pulling the covers up to your chin to make sure he wouldn’t notice anything different about you until you were ready.
“Yeah, we’re fine. Sure you’re okay? You haven’t been yourself since I got back” Aaron frowned, slipping in beside you in only his shirt and boxers. He settled himself, putting his pillows in the way he found most comfortable. “Has something happened since I’ve been gone?” he wondered, looking at you softly.
“No! Well yes but it’s nothing bad. Well I don’t think it is anyway. You might not see it like that, I really hope you do though” you sighed, turning on your side so you could look at him.
“Honey, what’s happened?” he asked, all kinds of situations running through his head at seeing you beginning to panic.
“I want you to know that I didn’t plan this. That it came as a surprise to me too but even after everything, this feels right” you breathed, biting your lip as your thoughts ran through your head.
“Y/N, what do you have to tell me?” Aaron insisted, taking your hand in his. Whatever had happened had obviously spooked you.
“Promise me you won’t be angry. Please?” you sighed, squeezing his hand. Hotch nodded, waiting to hear what you had to say.
Taking a deep breath, you tried to calm the raging nerves inside you. “I’m pregnant” you whispered, not daring to raise your voice more than that in the quiet room.
Aaron’s face lit up, eyes bright and smile beaming at you. You had never seen him so happy. Well… not since the last time.
“Honey, that’s brilliant!” he laughed, pulling you closer to him and brushing your lips together. “Why did you think I would be angry with you? This is amazing” he chuckled, nuzzling your noses against each other.
“It’s just… after the miscarriage last time. We were devastated, we could barely get out of bed some days. And I don’t want to ever go back to that again. It hurt so much that I don’t think I can go through it again” you admitted, resting a hand on your stomach. There was no obvious differences but it felt like that way to you.
“Y/N, I know that time was terrible. For both of us. But this time will be different” he whispered, cupping your face.
“How do you know? No one can know the future Aaron! You should know that better than anyone. I’m so scared of falling in love with this little being inside of me Aaron, only to have them taken away again. And you went through all the heartbreak with me, and I know it still hurts you Aaron, I know it does. You try and hard it but you can’t. I thought if you knew about the pregnancy, that you might be angry. Angry I was risking taking us back to that dark place” you cried, tears leaking down your cheeks. The hole in your heart still ached, it would never go away, but you wanted to move on. Not forget but to carry on.
“Y/N, you are the most beautiful, kindest woman I have ever met. Of course I’m not angry with you. This may not be what we planned, but I’m so glad that this has happened” Aaron smiled, wiping away your tears and kissing your forehead. “Whatever happens, I love you and that will never change. We’ll deal with this together, and we’ll be extra careful okay” he breathed, pulling you into his side.
“Are you happy then?” you murmured, biting your lip as you relaxed back into him.
“Yes! More than happy. Are you?” he asked, stroking his fingers up and down your back.
“I’m always going to be a little scared. I don’t think that will go away until they place our baby in my arms but… I’m so happy and excited” you admitted, a small smile tugging at your lips.
“Good, but there’s one important thing we’ll have to do though” Aaron stated, making you frown and look up at him in confusion. “We have to tell Jack he’s going to be a big brother” Aaron chuckled.
You groaned, letting your head drop onto his chest. “Oh god! I’m buying ear plugs first” you grumbled, making him laugh even more.