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Rey walked around the corner towards the nursery, her typical exhaustion settled firmly in her bones. She bent down to grab a sock on the floor and put her hand on the small of her back, wincing slightly - she still hadn’t recovered from falling off the short ladder in the garage a few months ago.
The light was on up ahead, the soft brightness spilling into the hallway, illuminating her path, and Rey walked as quietly as possible, her ears picking up on a gentle melody.
She poked her head into the nursery, expecting to see her daughter fast asleep, or at least drowsy, in her bassinet.
Instead, she was met with a different sight.
Poe was in the rocking chair, staring out the window while singing softly to the baby in his arms.
“Recuérdame , ” he sang quietly, pressing his lips into Shara’s thin but dark curls, “ hoy me tengo que ir, mi amor.”
Rey leaned against the doorframe, her arms folded across her chest and smiled, tears coming to her eyes unbidden.
“Recuérdame, no llores, por favor. Te llevo en mi corazón y cerca me tendrás a solas yo te cantaré soñando en regresar.”
He never stopped rocking as he sang, his beautiful voice floating gently through the room; he looked almost unreal, in a soft green sweater, in the rocking chair Han had built for them, the lavender walls of the nursery creating a soothing backdrop for his song. Poe wiped tears from his eyes with his thumb, not relinquishing his hold on his ten week old daughter.
Who he'd met for the first time that afternoon.
Rey’s throat burned at the thought, and she fiddled with the band of silver on her finger, the ring that had belonged to their daughter’s namesake.
Poe hadn’t changed out of his boots, the ones he’d been wearing in the airport with his NWU. Rey thought that she could measure the angles of his haircut from here, his high and tight that she quietly loathed - she missed his curls when he cut them, missed the way they felt under her fingers. But, her husband loved flying, loved being a renowned naval pilot, and so she kept quiet.
Poe continued to sing, unaware of his additional audience, and the tears continued to flow down his face as he sang to his daughter. “Recuérdame, aunque tengo que emigrar. Recuérdame, si mi guitarra oyes llorar.” His voice cracked on the last word, and Rey’s resolve cracked with it.
She walked into the nursery, joining in with Poe on the last line of his lullaby, her voice weaving through his harmoniously. “Ella con su triste canto te acompañará, hasta que en mis brazos tú estés” - she sank down to the floor at Poe’s feet, and placed her hand on his knee as they sang the last word together, Rey’s thumb stroking his thigh through the denim, and Poe’s hands still tenderly cradling Shara - “Recuérdame.”
Silence fell over the small family, as snow fell outside the bay window, just beyond the reach of the warm glow of the lamp. Shara stirred momentarily before making a soft sound and pressing her hand to a new place on her father’s chest.
“I sang it to her,” Rey said, her voice shaking. “Every night. Like you asked.”
“I missed so much.” Poe’s voice was beyond broken at this point. “I - I can’t believe I wasn’t here for you. For her.”
“Me either.” Rey shrugged a little dully, afraid that if she said more, she’d start crying too. “We missed you.” She shook her head and bit her lip, her cheeks aching from the effort of holding back a sob. “ I missed you.” There it was - the catch in her breath as the pain in her chest broke free. “So much.” She fought to keep her face composed, but it kept crumpling, and she ducked her head so Poe couldn’t see the tears that silently coursed down her face.
“I’m not going back.” She would snort if her nose weren’t so stuffed from crying. “I mean it. I’m not going back.”
“I’ve heard that before.” Rey wiped her eyes and sniffed, anger helping her lift her head and stare challengingly at him. Let him see that you’re upset, that he hurt you. “You said you’d always come back - and … I hear you’re off playing the hero.” Rey scowled at him. “You saved lives that day, Poe, but how do you think I felt, thousands of miles away, hearing that my husband - who had never met his daughter had pulled a stunt like that?”
“I know.”
“What if you had died?” Rey seethed quietly, hissing the words so Shara wouldn’t wake. “Where would that leave us? Without you - Poe, I c-can’t, I can’t do this without you.”
“I know. So, I’m not going back.” Rey sighed and prepared herself to argue some more, but Poe nodded his head at his jacket, hung up on the corner of the crib that Shara would transition to in a few months.
Rey stood on shaky legs, and didn’t fight the urge to cup Poe’s faintly stubbled cheek before walking to his coat. He kissed her palm before she pulled away, and she could feel the ghost of his lips on her skin as she retrieved the coat.
“Inside pocket,” Poe whispered, one hand behind Shara’s head, the other on her back - her small fists had bunched up some fabric from where she was clutching at him in her sleep.
Rey shoved her hand inside the indicated pocket, and removed some paperwork - it was a DD214. “Is this--?”
“Not being here for you when Shara was born almost killed me,” Poe said, obviously fighting to keep his voice quiet. Rey crossed the room towards him, feeling as though she were in a dream. She settled on a soft storage cube next to the rocking chair, which put her at a better angle to stare at her husband incredulously. “I’m not going to miss anything else. I’m going to be here for my girl. Both my girls. I swear to you,” he leaned forward, his voice and eyes earnest. “I swear to you, sweetheart, I’m not going anywhere. Never again.”
“Does this mean-”
“I took the discharge when they offered it to me.” Poe smiled at her sweetly, not a hint of regret in the expression, and Rey’s heart skipped a few beats and then grew a few sizes. “I’ll never leave you again.”
Rey laughed and tilted her face up for a kiss, lifting off her seat slightly so she could reach his lips. Their kiss was brief but sweet, and Rey settled back down, pulling one of Shara’s pillows onto her lap, content to watch her husband rock their daughter slowly, his eyes adoring as he gazed down at her.
“Merry Christmas,” she whispered, mostly to herself. Poe echoed the words, his eyes crinkled at the corners, and Rey felt whole for the first time in a long time.