Chapter Text
“Is there something wrong?” A concerned voice, not unfamiliar. He turned, a practised smile crossing his face, but when he saw who it was, he faltered.
Magda Ellenstein stared at him, concern in her clear blue eyes. The last person he wanted to see him in this state. Even if he able to fool the rest of Finsel’s simple-minded aristocracy, he wouldn’t be able to fool her.
She was too perceptive, his little eyas. Too observant, too guileless, too much of everything he didn’t need right now. He was comfortable mingling with other hypocrites, laughing and smiling with carefree abandon. Magda would not be like that. She was someone who cared, and right now…
Juven didn’t want someone who cared. He just wanted to get the hell out of here and retreat to his room, alone. He sneaked a glance at the ballroom door, wondering if he would be able to retire without anyone else noticing him.
“What makes you ask that, my sweet eyas?” he pulled himself together, toasting her with his wine glass. “Would you like to share a drink with me? I do wish to honour your beauty.” He knew such blatant flattery made her nervous, and he was hoping that she would leave him quickly.
Usually, when he asked Magda to drink with him, she would hesitate, and this time was no exception. However, before he could tease her about her reluctance as he always did, she took his glass and swallowed, the deep burgundy wine staining her lips red. “To your health, Viscount Sakan.” She returned the glass to him, her blue gaze never leaving his for an instant.
For a moment, he was stunned. He hadn’t been expecting this, and he didn’t know how to react. But quickly, he recovered, pasting another cheerful grin on his face. “I see you are getting bolder and bolder, eyas. That is a nice change!”
“I know something is wrong, Viscount,” she interrupted, stepping slightly closer to him and lowering her voice. Her perfume made his nose twitch. It was a pleasant floral scent, and it reminded him of…he shut the thought away, refusing to think of the name. “Barbara said that you’ve been acting strangely all morning, and when she tried to convince you not to attend the ball tonight, you were very adamant about coming. You said you needed a distraction.”
“Barbara,” he muttered, narrowing his eyes at the mention of his sister. He forgot that his sister and the little eyas were good friends. That wasn’t a mistake he would make again. Magda liked to interfere too much for her own good. “I thank you for your concern, sweet eyas, but there is nothing wrong with me - it’s just that Duke Sakan has left a rather unpleasant amount of work for me to handle, and it tires me a little. That’s all, there is nothing to fear.” He smiled.
In the back of his head he couldn’t help wishing that she would just leave, and soon. He was too tired to continue this conversation, and if she continued probing for more, he would be pushed past his limits.
“It’s about Asteria, isn’t it?” she asked, and shock ran through his body, leaving him speechless. “She told me,” Magda admitted, looking down at the floor, avoiding his gaze. Suddenly the ball seemed to shrink to just the two of them - everyone else disappeared, and the only thing that mattered was the words falling past Magda’s lips. “And both she and Barbara seemed worried about you, but you wouldn’t open up to either one of them, so…”
“So they sent you to find out how I’m feeling,” Juven completed, voice flat. She gave him a tiny nod in return, looking almost afraid. He wanted to snap at her, be angry and upset at her for bringing up the very thought he had been trying to suppress all night, but he knew it wasn’t her fault, and it wouldn’t be fair to lash out at her. “Fine. If they want their answers so badly, then I’ll tell you.” He placed his empty wine glass on a passing waiter’s tray. “Follow me,” he ordered, heading in the direction of the door. He didn’t check to see if she would follow.
Thankfully no one tried to stop him, and while he figured tongues might wag about the Ellenstein heiress being seen in the company of the playboy Sakan, those were rumours they could quell tomorrow. He didn’t want to think about that for now. “What did Asteria tell you?” he turned and asked her when they were upstairs in one of the guest rooms. He made sure the door was shut.
Magda took a deep breath. She still looked nervous. Did he look angry? He didn’t know, nor did he care. But now that he was out of the ball, he certainly wasn’t smiling anymore. He hated pretending to be happy, and half the time that was precisely what he did. He pretended to be someone he was not.
“Asteria told me that she figured out her feelings for you. That she saw you grow from a child to a man, that she cared for you whenever Duke Sakan was away, that she was always more of a mother than anything else. And after talking to Alminas…she doesn’t want to pursue a relationship with a human, not when it brings the elves so much pain. And she thinks you may have possibly confused romantic feelings with familial ones,” she confessed, all in a rush.
It hurt to hear all that again, even if it was coming from Magda instead of Asteria this time. He didn’t respond, and Magda took in a deep breath, peeking up at him nervously. “I know it must hurt, Viscount Sakan, but…she really thinks it’s for the best that you don’t carry on.” Her voice was tremulous.
“I don’t fault her logic,” he answered dully. “Rationally, I know she’s right. But that doesn’t mean it won’t hurt me.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “You know, eyas, you really are a meddlesome little thing. I know you’ve been trying to find out more about the relationship between Asteria and I so that you can report your findings to your patron. You really are terrible at hiding yourself, you know,” he added, sounding more jovial this time.
Magda’s face reddened. “I won’t report this!” she promised. Juven raised a disbelieving eyebrow, and she pressed on, trying to convince him. “I know that this incident has hurt you, so I won’t – this is a very private matter, and I don’t feel comfortable letting others know about it. I’ll tell the patron that I was unable to find out anything more than what I’ve already told him.”
For some reason, he couldn’t doubt her. “Thank you then, Lady Ellenstein.” He paused. “Just to be sure, I would also appreciate if you don’t tell anyone else about this. Few people knew about me and Asteria. Even fewer know that we have…made this decision. And I would prefer to keep it that way,” he warned.
She nodded, and he sighed, this time a sound of relief. “You should go back to the ball, eyas. There are many potential suitors for you there, and I’m sure they will be missing your presence,” he teased, forcing himself to be jovial as always for just a while longer. He didn’t want her to see him broken and vulnerable.
“I’ve made sufficient small chat with everyone else tonight. And I’m concerned for you, Viscount Sakan. Are you really going to be…okay?” she checked, curiosity and worry still evident in her wide blue eyes. Juven shrugged.
“I don’t intend to kill myself or anything like that if that’s why you’re worried,” he answered. “I’m just tired of socialising, and I’d like some time alone,” he emphasised, hoping that she would get the hint. She took a step back, still hesitant, but it didn’t look like she was going anywhere, and he wondered how someone so perceptive and resourceful could also be so obtuse.
“You’ll find someone else soon, Viscount Sakan. You’re young and handsome, and you’re such a sweet-talker. There is no shortage of ladies in Finsel who are interested in you,” she finally offered. It was a weak, feeble consolation prize.
Something in him finally snapped. Maybe it was the exhaustion. Maybe it was the fact that she still couldn’t take a hint and just leave him be. Maybe it was just because Asteria had almost decided to be with him but in the end, she changed her mind. He didn’t blame her for it, she had valid concerns, but it still hurt. “And that’s why I don’t want them, Lady Ellenstein.” He narrowed his eyes, taking a step towards the girl. She backed away, still looking nervous. He hated it. Her hesitation and her gentleness reminded him of Asteria. “I don’t want to be with ladies who would throw themselves at me simply because of my family’s status or the way I flirt with them. How many women would jump at the chance to marry an heir from the Four Families? How many women would like to use me as a stepping stone in their climb to the top of Finsel’s social hierarchy? That’s not something I want for myself, Magda.”
He had backed her all the way into a corner, something he didn’t even realise he was doing until he heard her breath hitch, her back hitting the wall. Abruptly, he realised just how close they were - he could see her bottom lip quivering slightly, a look of trepidation in her eyes - and immediately he retreated. “I hope you aren’t afraid of me now, my sweet eyas.” He tried to return to his usual self, but he knew his voice was strained. “Go back to the ball and enjoy yourself. Small talk or not, there are many people for you to meet there.”
“What do you think of me, Viscount?” He had already begun turning away, but that question made him freeze. He glanced back at her, wondering what she was thinking - Magda stared at him, and the fear he thought he had seen earlier was nowhere to be found. There was an eagerness - no, not eagerness. Did she look expectant? “Do you think I’m like the rest of the Finsel noblewomen, desperately clawing their way up the social ladder?”
He faced her fully, appraising her. There was something about her question that sounded almost like a challenge, and he was intrigued - he had always been one for challenges and puzzles. They were an entertaining way to pass the time. “You want to know what I think of you, eyas?” He cocked his head. “Although I am aware that you and your mother are keen on returning to the Senate, and becoming one of Finsel’s elite once more…I wouldn’t say you’re like the rest of them, no. You are someone much more complex. And much more terrifying.”
“Terrifying?” she questioned, not even bothering to hide her interest. She certainly wasn’t trying to pry information out of him - she had done it before so many times, and he acquiesced whenever she probed deeper into the things they discussed, amused by her dogged persistence. This felt more like a genuine conversation. How often did such conversations come around for him? The only people he could talk to genuinely were Barbara and Asteria. But Barbara was his sister, so that was a given, and as for Asteria - well, he wasn’t sure whether they’d really be able to just remain friends.
“Yes, terrifying. Eyas, the power you have over men - it’s both incredible and frightening to watch.” He stepped towards her again, wondering how she would respond to his closeness. She didn’t move, her eyes wide as she waited for him to continue. He was thirsting for conversation, for a listening ear, for someone, anyone, to understand what he was going through. He wanted to talk freely without fear or abandon; he wanted a companion. For now, she played that role.
“I don’t mean to do anything,” she answered, holding her head up high. Proud, charming girl. She was going to go far in Finsel, that he had known since the very first day he met her. She was the only one who didn’t seem particularly entertained by his sweet words and empty promises. What a curious child.
“I know you don’t, eyas, I know you don’t - that’s why those effects are all the more entertaining for me to watch.” He tilted her chin up with his fingers and to his surprise, she didn’t jerk her head away as he would have expected. “It makes me wonder how you will respond to other unexpected situations. Will you surprise me again, Magda?”
“What task do you have in mind for me, Viscount?” she asked, and despite the softness of her words, there was a steeliness in her tone that he found almost endearing. How much she had grown since the very first ball she attended. “I’m sure I can do anything you would like me to do…” In exchange for your favour and assistance in helping my family return to the Senate. Those words lingered unspoken between them, and his lips curved up.
“How about this?” His voice was barely louder than a whisper. Before she could say anything else, he closed his eyes and leant forward, pressing his lips to hers.