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Lan WangJi had first seen color atop the roof of Cloud Recesses’ entrance hall, his first night outside after months in secluded cultivation between four pale walls.
He remembers how not even the darkness of night could fully camouflage the sudden saturation that painted the dark sky a breathtaking deep blue, the shadowed greens and reds and yellows of the forest jump out in a way they never could in shades of gray.
But more than that, he remembers that boy with mischievous silver eyes that could put the stars to shame, the smile face that had lit up the surroundings far brighter than that night’s full moon leaving an otherworldly glow to his dark hair and fair skin.
He remembers the way his heart thumped wildly in his chest at the sight, the way his breath hitched when that boy thought it a good idea to sit and drink his smuggled wine directly in front of him, of how Lan WangJi couldn’t quite ignore the way the transparent liquid dribbled from his parted peach-pink lips down the sharp line of his ivory chin.
A sudden restlessness had coursed through him then, and WangJi could do nothing but draw his sword with trembling hands, the bright blue of Bichen’s glare almost blinding his own eyes. “Drinking is prohibited in Cloud Recesses.” His lips had said, but his heart wanted nothing more than to hold that boy in his arms and never let go.
Soulmate. His heart sang to him. Soulmate.
The other half of his soul. His fated person.
But…
Something was wrong.
“You…” he begins, but before he could say one more word, the other boy was already talking over him.
“What? So you do want a drink after all?” he said, wiping the liquid off his chin. “I’ll definitely give you some as I’m very generous, so won’t you forget this happened for now? I swear I won’t do it again!” he offered, extending the other jar, and Lan WangJi had realized what was amiss.
The boy was staring right at him, posture lax, smile casual and friendly, hiding nothing.
Lan WangJi’s heart had not been calm since he’d first laid eyes on him, but he seemed entirely unaffected by Lan WangJi’s presence. As if he does not see what Lan WangJi now sees, does not feel what Lan WangJi now feels.
And for the first time in his life, instead of stopping a fight, Lan WangJi found himself initiating one as he lunged at his soulmate with his sword, unable to bring himself to care that it was against sect rules to battle without supervision, feeling nothing but the painful way his lungs constricted in his chest.
A jar of wine broke atop the walls of Cloud Recesses that night, and Lan WangJi thought it was not unlike the sound his heart made when that boy, his soulmate, simply danced around him without a care, dismissive of his very existence.
Lan WangJi had seen the entire world change before his very eyes, but Wei WuXian saw nothing.
~_~_~
In this world, everyone is born in a sea of gray, unable to fully appreciate the beauty the ‘colors’ of the earth had to offer.
Legend says that it was because all people were born as but half a soul –half an existence— wholly incomplete until the other half was found. That one person in the entire world that can fully complete them, their destined pair, their ‘soulmate’.
Perhaps Lan WangJi had always been curious about it, this talk of soulmates and colors and a world so breathtaking no manner of flowery writing nor speech can truly describe it.
He remembers on those rare days he was able to meet his mother, she’d never failed to comment on how beautifully colorful her garden was, that she never grew tired looking at it from her window, and that if there was one thing she was thankful to father for, it was allowing her to see such a sight.
He remembers parting his own lips, asking “Is it worth it?”, as he noted down the sadness that never truly left his mother’s eyes, trapped within this one small space.
She had blinked at his question as if surprised, then let out a chuckle. “Worth it, you ask…” she hummed, eyes trailing on to the gentians that she said were purple, the roses that were red and white and pink, the daffodils that were a golden yellow, like your eyes and his. Her lips curved up into the softest of smiles, her eyes aglow as she said. “Yes.” cuddling young Lan Zhan close to her chest in a way that made him huff. “After all, you only have one soulmate in the world, and meeting them at all is a miracle enough.”
And upon meeting Wei WuXian, Lan WangJi finally understood.
Cloud Recesses had always been beautiful to him, but this was the first he has ever seen it in this light. The vibrant greens of the grasses and the leaves glowing under the light of the golden sun, amplifying the subtle beauty of the white lilies and roses and dandelions dotting the fields, as well an entire myriad of other such flowers in colors whose names he has yet to learn, all before a brilliantly blue sky.
It was breathtaking indeed, and for the first time in his life he’d understood his mother’s feelings, his father’s conviction despite all the elders’ carefully voiced complaints.
After seeing such a vivid world, how can anyone ever give it up?
And Wei Ying— Wei Ying is as beautiful, as breathtaking, in the light of day as he was in the shadow of the night.
And then, upon getting to know him, upon watching him run and laugh and play amidst that colorful world, his smile bright enough to put even the sun to shame, his sparkling eyes aglow with joy and mischief and warmth, Lan WangJi though it only appropriate that it was him who had brought colors to this world, as it seemed to radiate from his very being.
With how perfect he fits into such a colorful world, Lan WangJi couldn’t help but think that perhaps Wei Ying had lived in color all his life, which might be why he had no reaction upon seeing Lan Wangji at all.
If that was the case, Lan WangJi thinks he does not mind. Could only think that he definitely deserved to do so.
That Lan WangJi could see such a breathtaking sight before him, he was satisfied enough.
~_~_~
Truthfully, Wei WuXian had never cared much about all the talks and legends of soulmates and colors blooming out of nowhere --after all, the people who truly experience it are few and far between, especially here in China where men and women are often married without meeting beforehand.
Such fairytale like things such as how one’s entire perception of the world changes with just one glance of that one person you would undoubtedly spend the rest of your life with… it was quite a hard thing to believe.
Of course, he understood that it probably isn’t fair to those who have truly experienced it enough to pass on to all of them gray-seeing folks that the sky and the sea were said to be blue, that forests are all green in the spring, but turn orange when autumn comes.
Uncle Jiang had told him stories, as well, about how Wei WuXian’s own parents were soulmates. He talked about how his mother would laugh and point out how all the different shades of gray in their flower garden are all different colors, how much more beautiful they are like that.
He said all these with sad eyes and a solemn smile, and Wei WuXian knew –nearly everyone, really, that sees Jiang FengMian whenever he reminisces about Zangse Sanren— that he had been in love with her, but had never seen the world bloom along with his heart. Was never able to.
And then there was that arrogant peacock brother, whom had been able to see color since he’d met his shijie when they were but little children, soulmates they supposedly were, and yet never showed her favor.
“It’s alright, shijie.” He had told her once, “Just because you saw colors when you met him doesn’t mean you have to force yourself to like him! You deserve a whole lot better than that jerk!!”
Her smile back then had been sad, the light in her eyes dimming even as they reflected the full moon’s silver rays. “Thank you, A-Xian.” was all she said, and Wei WuXian knew that it was time for him to leave.
Soulmates, they supposedly were, but if so then why did his shijie have to suffer in silence like that?
Anyway, Wei WuXian had only ever lived in shades of gray and he thinks that it’s fine like that.
If he does experience such a miraculous thing as meeting his supposed soulmate -and gains the mutual love that was always the highlight of every such story, of course- then what a joyous occasion that’d be. But if he falls for some pretty girl even in this gray world, and he charms her the same way, then he would be content with that.
Besides, for someone like him whom often gets a headache if he keeps his eyes open too long in the afternoon light and prefers all manner of shade and the darkness of the night, he probably wouldn’t be able to appreciate the colors all that much anyway.
Especially not after the fall of Lotus Pier, with the sea of bright, burning flames engulfing the place he had once called home. Not after the Sunshot campaign where black tar-like blood flowed like water beneath his feet. Not even in the Burial Mounds, where corpses littered the very ground they walked on, and the trees barely held a single leaf…
He had wondered if perhaps color would have made such scenes less frightening, less grim, or perhaps it only would’ve made it all the more.
In the end, Wei WuXian lived and died without a single glimpse of color, and he was content with that.
~_~_~
When Lan WangJi woke up months after his punishment –thirty-one lashes still not healed upon his back, scars that will never fade — to his brother’s pained gaze as he said “WangJi, I’m sorry, but Wei WuXian is dead.” he did not believe him.
Even as he was shown proof, he did not believe them. Not fully. Not completely.
Wei Ying is dead, they all say. His body torn to shreds by his own undead pets, not even leaving behind a whole corpse, and no manner of spell or ritual could call forth his spirit.
Perhaps it was true. Perhaps Wei Ying was indeed dead.
But they do not see the world as Lan WangJi sees it.
Not the light blue of the drifting clouds embroidered on his sect’s uniform, the brown of the jingshi’s wooden balusters, the brilliant shades of orange and purple and blue from setting sun clearly visible outside his windows, painting the Cloud Recesses in a sepia tone before fading into the dark blue of the night sky.
The world outside was still beautiful. Too beautiful.
And so Lan WangJi did not believe. Could not believe.
There was no way that in such a breathtaking world, Wei Ying no longer exists.
And so he decided to search. Ever through the sting of his still healing wounds, he went out to search.
Every relic, every clue, every method that he knew of that was not against his own morals, he did. He held his treasured qin in his hands every night playing Inquiry, asking for even the smallest of chances, searching if not for his body then at least for his soul.
He needed to find him, and he believed he could. However long it may take, he believed that he would.
After all, despite the fact that it was one-sided, Wei Ying was his soulmate. His fated person, the owner of his heart, the other half of his soul.
His world had been filled with color since they met, colors he could still see everytime he opens his eyes.
And yet… and yet deep inside he knew. Had always known.
The founder of the Lan sect, Lan An, had documented the sheer intensity of his feelings upon finding his fated person, of how beautifully vibrant the world had become the moment he had laid eyes on her, as well as how suddenly unbearable such a world became upon her death.
Once one’s soulmate dies, the colors do not fade along with them.
~_~_~
When Wei WuXian awoke in the body of Mo XuanYu, he didn’t know what to expect.
That he was able to resolve the curse quite fast was fortunate, and gaining free rein over his new body filled him with a sense of excitement, but also loss. He had done so much wrong in his past life that he couldn’t quite accept that he’d been given a second chance.
But still, he was fully prepared to lead a carefree and solitary second life, away from the troubles of large sects and cultivation and war, and maybe this time he would even have the chance to find that pretty miss he could settle down and raise a family with.
But who would've expected that not even days after he’d been reborn, he would experience the biggest shock of both his lives.
At first, all he could see were white boots amid the dark gray of the land, hardly special but for their weirdly pristine condition atop the forest floor, but as his eyes slowly trailed up that imposing white-clad figure, he literally saw the world change, somehow, before his very eyes.
His breath hitched.
The usual light gray of the familiar sword on that man’s waist suddenly gained an unearthly luster, somehow; the usual dark gray of the forest floor behind him saturating with something… something deep, different, full yet untangible. Dark yet not dark, nothing like the dark grays and murky black that Wei WuXian was used to that it brought a phantom throbbing behind his eyelids.
Then his sight caught on the patterns of drifting clouds embroidered on that uncomfortable looking uniform –mourning clothes, he had always thought, yet with the gray suddenly replaced along the collars and the waistband, it now gave off a rather cool feeling, exuding elegance much like the polished jade that hung from the man's belt...
And it was at that moment that he finally realized that what he was seeing was the Lan Sect’s blue.
Blue like water, like the day-lit sky where the real drifting clouds resided.
His eyes widened, jaw going lax as he was hit with the realization, his head whipping around at everything in his surroundings, from the trees to the ground to the night sky above and even through the clothes of the two other cultivators behind him.
Indeed, every single bit of gray was gone. Replaced. Layered. Changed.
Wei WuXian could see color.
And the reason could only be...
“Soulmate…” the word unconsciously left his lips, disbelief in his heart even as he stared at the violet robes that was the Jiang Sect’s trademark, his heart beating wildly in his chest. “B-But. That’s impossible. You can’t be—”
Lan WangJi’s eyes were light when Wei WuXian finally met them, as they always were, but unlike before they seemed to glow in darkness, giving off an impression of warmth and light despite the coldness in that man’s gaze, and Wei WuXian found his words caught in his throat.
They’re so beautiful. He thought, although not for the first time, but definitely far more aware now than he ever had been before.
From somewhere behind him, Wei WuXian vaguely heard Jin Ling’s voice say something like “H-H-Hey! Don’t tell me you’re suddenly setting your cut-sleeve sights on HanGuang-jun of all people! Are you crazy?? Wait, no you are crazy.”
Lan Zhan’s head tilted slightly at this although his expression didn’t change, and it was such a familiar sight through the earth-shattering experience Wei WuXian was currently facing that he couldn’t stop the chuckle that left his lips before it grew in intensity to the point he almost fell to the ground if the hand clasping his arm didn’t prevent him from doing so.
Once again he looked up into Lan Zhan’s eyes –what color are they?— and found them boring straight into his own, a strange light within them as if they were searching something.
And in an echo of his earlier words, Lan Zhan’s lips parted. “Soulmate.” He said softly, bowing ever so slightly. “Do you see?”
“Wait. Did he just say soulmate??!!”
“What the hell?!!”
Two flabbergasted voices rang from behind him, and Wei WuXian froze, stomach sinking as the initial shock faded away, and reality dawned upon him.
He had known Lan Zhan for years, having first met him when they were fifteen, and Wei WuXian was well aware that he had never seen anything but gray.
What changed?
Almost immediately, Wei WuXian struggled out of Lan Zhan’s hold, but it was only testament to the Lan Clan that he was ultimately unable to. This is bad. He thought, pushing down his panic and trying to calmly think of a way out. “LET ME GO!! Wow is your hand made of steel or something? This is sexual harassment!!” he cried, acting like the mad man he was supposed to be.
That’s right. Acting.
Because although he is Wei WuXian, this body is not his own.
There could be no other explanation. Not him, but this body, Mo XuanYu, was Lan Zhan’s soulmate.
Except now Mo XuanYu was dead, his soul returned to the ground on the way to reincarnation. And in his place was Wei WuXian, the villain whom everyone had hated, everyone including Lan Zhan.
There was simply no way this would end well.
Running away would be useless. He thought, as he continued to struggle. Lan Zhan would catch me in a heartbeat. I could try to disgust him, but with the history of the Lan Sect’s penchant of dishing out romantics when it comes to soulmates, there’s probably a 0% chance of that working. What to do what to do… He looked around, once again spotting the violet of the YunmengJiang robes. What are the chances I won’t get locked up and killed if I try to go with Jiang Cheng?
But before he could even consider the thought, the Jiang Sect leader was already talking, his tone dripping with obvious disgust. “Second brother Lan, pardon my straightforwardness, but are you saying that this… this lunatic, demonic cultivating cutsleeve is your soulmate??” he demanded.
“Excuse me?? RUDE MUCH?? I happen to be a catch damn you!!” Wei WuXian pouted, ignoring Jin Ling’s “Yeah right.” and instead looking up to see if Lan WangJi had a reaction, trying once again to shake off the man’s grip. But the hold on him only tightened, Lan WangJi’s face freezing over as he faced Jiang Cheng, expressionless as he was.
Then, light eyes (what color are they?? Wei WuXian wondered again, before he finally spotted Jin Ling’s brilliant robes. Ah. The golden color of the Jin Sect then?) turned back to look at Wei WuXian.
Wei WuXian met his gaze head on, keeping the pout on his face for good measure. “What? Don’t look at me, I didn’t do anything!!”
“Mm.” the sound came out, and three people blinked in confusion.
Mm? What does that mean? Wei WuXian thought, until Lan WangJi turned away from him again to face the Jiang Sect leader.
“This man is my soulmate, and thus an honorary member of Gusu. You can not touch him.” He declared, and instantly, Wei WuXian felt his whole body lock up.
"You- You seriously..."
Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling both looked on with shocked eyes and gaping mouths, and it was only fortunate that they both simply left without any more comments, though it did nothing to ease the utter turmoil overwhelming Wei WuXian’s whole body.
Once again Lan WangJi looked at him and asked, “Can you see it? The colors.”
Wei WuXian looked away, contemplating whether or not he should answer, or pretend to not understand at all, but then…
“Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan says, releasing his arm only to grasp both his hands instead, and Wei WuXian’s breath hitched.
“Soulmate.”