Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Shiro groaned as the sound of the alarm clock at his bedside rang shrilly in his ear. Today is the day. He forced himself up into a sitting position, bleary-eyed and half-awake, before throwing the covers off. The sudden rush of cool air was an unwelcome but much-needed wakeup call and he groggily stood up, eyes scanning the room as the world slowly came into focus.

This would be the last time he’d see his room at the Garrison for who knows how long. After spending a couple months recuperating and planning on Earth, the Paladins and their new Garrison recruits would be leaving the blue planet behind to take down Haggar once and for all. In just a few hours, they’d be back in space without the sense of security that came with feeling solid earth beneath their feet. Shiro was glad to be heading back out into the depths of the universe. However, he would miss Earth… even if it did hold painful memories…

No, he wasn’t going to think of that right now. He had been plagued with regret every day since he came back and learned of the fate of his late betrothed. No, now was not the time to wallow in his guilt and sorrow. Did he love Adam? Of course he did. He never stopped loving him and never would. But at some point, Shiro would have to accept that he was gone and there was nothing he could do to bring him back. Today would be just as good a day as any to begin his emotional healing.

Come on, Shiro you pathetic sad sack. No more moping. Adam wouldn’t have wanted this for you. Shiro mentally berated himself. He really needed to get himself up and running. What kind of a leader would he be if he couldn’t even motivate himself ? Nope, it was time to get moving. Checking the clock, Shiro noted that he still had a few hours before their final debriefing began.

Perfect. Maybe hitting the gym will clear my brain up.

Pushing himself off the bed, Shiro stretched out his back, several satisfying pops leaving his stiff spine, before heading towards his dresser. Rummaging through the drawers, he managed to find a worn black tank top and some old gray gym shorts that still smelled clean enough. After throwing on his outfit, he let out one last sigh before straightening his back in his usual, leader-like posture and setting out for the Garrison’s gym.

Curtis shuffled his feet slightly as he made his way down the hallway. Normally he wouldn’t be up so early, more keen on lying in bed than starting the day. However, today was his last day on Earth. Gosh, how crazy is that? I’m gonna be leaving Earth. I might never see home again… I’m gonna go into space! Curtis’s thoughts had been rushing like a babbling stream through his head, switching easily between childlike excitement and not-so-unreasonable worries. He, of course, knew his way around a cockpit, having flown more than his fair share of fighter crafts during his time as a pilot, but space? Space was something new. Something exciting...albeit a little bit terrifying. So, to calm his nerves and his restless brain, he figured a stop off at the ol’ gym would be good for him.

Curtis bobbed his head and hummed pleasantly along to the music currently flowing from his music player into a giant pair of purple headphones. Retro? Yes. Sound quality? Not the greatest. Uncomfortable? Not in the slightest. His new favourite musical album (“Hey, musicals are art , ” he’s had to defend on more than one occasion) blasted his eardrums and he allowed the songs to pull him into their world, the lively swing tunes causing his reservations about the mission to be temporarily condensed into a forgotten fog.

So caught up in his music was he, that he didn’t notice the figure stopped just inside the gym door until he collided with it. Startled, Curtis let out a small squeak as he jumped backwards and looked up, only to meet the eyes of-

“C-captain Shirogane! I’m sorry I-I didn’t see you there!”

Curtis, mortified, was frozen to his spot as he looked up at his superior. He was saying something to him...or at least, it looked like it? Shiro’s mouth was moving but no sounds were coming out. The other man must have noticed Curtis’s confusion because he chuckled slightly and pointed to the top of his head. Curtis raised a befuddled eyebrow and looked up at Shiro’s head. Aside from the awkward haircut, there was nothing there.

How does he manage to rock that haircut? It’s so weird. What is that floof? But it looks so good on him and is that a tank? Holy shit he’s ripped! I mean yeah, duh, but just...wow...he is- Wait, what? Curtis stop checking out your Captain for christ's sake!

Curtis blushed nervously and brushed a hand through his hair—force of habit—and his hand connected with his headphones. That’s when he realized he couldn’t hear Shiro because his music was blasting . Of course he didn’t notice; he had been wearing his headphones long enough for sensory adaptation to start kicking in. Mentally facepalming, Curtis pulled his headphones off of his ears and draped them around his neck. Grimacing at his own awkwardness, he sheepishly looked up again at Shiro, who was watching him with a slight twinkle in his eye.

“Uh...I’m sorry, Sir. What were you saying?”

Shiro chuckled and smiled warmly at him. “I was saying it’s no big deal, there’s no need to apologize. It’s…Curtis, right?”

Curtis nodded and stood taller. “Yes, Sir. I’m Curtis. That is me.”

“You know you don’t need to call me Sir, right? You can call me Shiro.”

Curtis simply nodded stiffly, trying not to embarrass himself further. Shiro motioned towards the purple headphones now dangling on the other man’s neck.

“Must be some pretty good music if it’s distracting enough to make you run into people,” he said with a slight smirk.

“Yes, S-uh...yeah, it is.”

Shiro nodded and leaned in slightly.

“Well, I’m sure you didn’t just come here to talk so I’ll let you do your thing in peace. Have a good workout, Curtis. Enjoy your music.”

With a little half wave and a wink, Shiro turned and walked towards one of the punching bags, leaving Curtis standing dumbfounded in the doorway. Shaking his head, he slipped his headphones back on and made his way to an empty spot on the padded floor to start his stretches. Everyone so often, he’d glance over at Shiro. More than once, he found the other man doing the same to him.

WHAT IS HAPPENING?

Shiro, you did not just flirt with one of your crewmembers. Shiro’s brain was going crazy. He shouldn’t be flirting. He’d been mourning since he got back to Earth. Wasn’t it too soon? How soon is too soon, Takashi? It felt wrong yet here he was, shamelessly sneaking glances at Curtis from across the gym. If anyone else had bumped into Shiro that morning, he probably would have been less than pleased. However, when he turned around and saw Curtis, the stuttering mess he was, he couldn’t help the familiar fondness that crept up on him as it did so many years ago with his former love.

Shiro, you are a mess. You bump into one pretty face and you’re already smitten. To be fair, that pretty face did bump into him … Shiro shook his head and turned his attention back to the punching bag. Maybe it was just the weird energy floating around the ship today. Everyone was excited about the mission, after all. Maybe that was it.

Or maybe you’re finally realizing you can’t stay stuck in the past forever. Shiro gritted his teeth in annoyance as his brain nagged him and let loose several hard blows to the punching bag in front of him. After continuing to drown out his thoughts with punches to the innocent bag, Shiro decided he needed to breathe. Bending over, he allowed himself to catch his breath. He could feel the sweat pooling in his tank top and running down his face.

Ugh, I’ll need to wash this thing before it really reeks.

Satisfied that his heart rate was returning to normal, Shiro straightened up and stretched out the tired muscles in his arm. One of the benefits of his bionic arm was that it couldn’t get sore. His human arm, however, was not so lucky; he’d definitely be feeling the effects of his workout tomorrow. As he stretched, Shiro chanced another glance at Curtis, who was currently doing some sort of quad stretch.

God, he’s cute…

As he was taking in the view, Curtis’s head popped up and he directed his gaze towards Shiro. They locked eyes for a fraction of a second before both became flustered and looked away. Shiro silently cursed himself as he felt the familiar twinge of gay panic.

I need to get to know this man.

Chapter Text

“It’s our last night on Earth, and we’ve got a lot of hard work ahead of us. We may not be back home for years… So I’m ordering you… to take some time for yourselves, be with the ones you love. You’ve earned it.”

Shiro’s heart clenched as he finished the final debriefing. This time tomorrow, they would be hurtling through space, not to return to Earth for who knows how long… if ever. Not wanting his crew to harbour the regret of leaving their families behind without a goodbye, he commanded them to do what he couldn’t: spend time with their earthbound loved ones. Speaking of which… with a gentle sigh, Shiro waited for the room to clear out before making his way out the door and heading towards the large memorial the Garrison had constructed during the war.

As Shiro walked through the doors leading to the large concrete structure, he felt a familiar air of sorrow and guilt wash over him as the glistening nameplates filled his vision. So many lives lost for a war they never should’ve been a part of in the first place… Shiro knew this wasn’t directly his fault, yet he couldn’t help but feel guilty for how many innocent lives were cut short in Voltron’s absence. He averted his gaze toward the ground, trying to ignore the faces of past students, friends, and colleagues staring down at him. Quickening his pace, he made a beeline for one nameplate in particular, coming to a halt at his usual spot.

“Hey, Adam… it’s me again,” Shiro started softly, slowly lifting his eyes to meet those of the man he’d loved for so many years. “Today’s our last day on Earth. We’re gonna be going back out into space tomorrow… I know you’d probably try to make me stay if you were here, huh? Or… maybe you’d be coming with us…”

Shiro’s voice cracked as tears began to build up in his eyes. No, you are not crying. He wouldn’t want you to cry. Be strong for him. Shiro shook his head and wiped away the tears before they could fall.

“We’re going to end this war, once and for all. We’re gonna make them pay for what they did to you… to all of you.”

Shiro leaned his forehead against the wall and took a deep breath before letting his voice fall to barely above a whisper.

“I miss you… I wish you were here. I know you probably wouldn’t want me to wallow in guilt but… I feel like it’s wrong to move on? I don’t ever want to forget you or the time we had together but hanging onto the past… that’s not healthy, is it? I don’t know, I just wish the universe could give me some sort of sign that it’s okay, y’know? That I’m not a bad person for wanting to move on. I’ll always love you and I’ll always miss you, but at some point we have to let go, right?”

Shiro looked up at Adam’s picture with pleading eyes as if the image could come to life and offer his some words of wisdom, and he sighed in disappointment when the picture did nothing but stare blankly back at him. Reaching out a hand, he gingerly placed it on Adam’s nameplate.

“I know I can’t bring you back, but I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you didn’t… die… in vain. That’s a promise. And who knows? Maybe someday soon, I’ll be back here telling you the story of our victory.”

Shiro allowed the faintest of smiles to play on his lips at the thought of this terrible war finally being over.

“For now, I guess this is goodbye. Hopefully, it won’t be the last time.”

With that, Shiro cast one more glance at the faces lined up on the large wall. Their sacrifice wouldn’t be for naught. The Voltron alliance would make sure of that. He turned and marched toward the doors, his desire to seek justice for those lost strengthening his resolve. His mind was a wild swarm of thoughts as he made a sharp left turn out the doors and- BAM!

Shiro was abruptly ripped from the hellscape that was his mind as he collided into someone just inside the hallway. He was just beginning to apologize when he looked up and his eyes connected with a pair of piercing blue ones, the words dying on his tongue.

He stood face to face with Curtis, who looked up in shock at his superior and nervously ran a hand through his hair.

“Uh… s-sorry for running into you, Sir… again,” the younger man stammered out.

Wow, universe, you are not subtle.