Archive of Our Own

__________

MONTH ONE.

Gert doesn’t want to go to work today. She hasn’t wanted to go to work for the past couple of days, actually- she’s been sticking it out, but, God, she can’t wait for the weekend. Maybe if she can actually sleep in, she’ll stop feeling so nauseous every time she wakes up. And hopefully all she needs to cure this fatigue she’s been feeling is a good night’s sleep, too. Chase has told her once or twice to go see a doctor, but she’s certain it’ll pass soon enough.

Speaking of her husband, he is, unfortunately, a morning person. Which, also unfortunately, means he’s gone on a run and can’t cuddle her through the terrible abdominal pain she’s experiencing right now.

Knowing she has to go to work and can’t just skip out- she’s the teacher, after all- Gert pops an Advil and sloughs through her morning routine. By the time Chase is back from his run, she’s already sitting at the island, picking at a bowl of cream of wheat. It’s the wrong flavour, which is more than a little annoying.

“Morning,” Chase says as he passes by her to open the fridge door.

“Good morning. You stink.”

He grabs the litre of apple juice, slamming the door and leaning against the fridge with it in hand. “Do I? Can’t imagine why.”

Gert sighs. “Chase, please don’t drink that from the-“ she cringes as he does it anyway, chugging straight from the bottle. “Gross.”

Chase swallows. Most of the bottle is gone, now. “Oh, what, like it’s a crime to be thirsty.”

“No, it’s a crime to...shit. I forgot my joke.” Chase snorts, and she shoots him a tired glare. “Please don’t laugh at me. I’m not in the mood like, at all.”

“Sorry, babe.” He takes another sip from the bottle, which, like, whatever. No point now, is there? “Did something happen, or did you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed?”

She shrugs, swirling her spoon around the bowl. “I dunno. I woke up feeling like shit, and then I realized that my good jeans are in the wash, and that my shoes are, like, totally still soaked from the snow yesterday,” she rubs at her temple, trying to quell the headache. “And then I go to get breakfast and turns out, somebody bought the wrong flavour of cream of wheat, and just- ugh.”

Chase sucks in a breath through his teeth. “That...might’ve been me. Sorry.”

She rolls her eyes. “No, really?”

“Look, I’m sorry, I just wasn’t-“

“Paying attention. I know.” You never do, so I don’t know why I’m surprised.

He frowns at her. “I said I was sorry. And I can stop by Sobey’s on the way to work, if you want.”

Gert nods, yawning. “Yeah, okay.”

Chase tilts his head at her. “Do you want a ride into work?”

“No, I’m good,” Gert says- then immediately disproving herself when she stumbles getting up from the chair and nearly falls on her face. Shit.

Chase catches her just in time, because one of his many attributes is the reflexes of a man who you would assume to be a close relative of, say, Clark Kent. He even looks like him, a little. But that’s for another time.

Chase helps her get steady, studying her face with a worried expression. “Seriously, let me give you a ride.”

Gert swallows, then steps back from him. “It’s fine. You have to get to work, anyway.”

She turns, then stalks off down the hallway, still a little pissy. She’s tying up her left boot when he catches up to her, leaning against the doorway with that same worried look on his face. God, what does he know? Since when is he a doctor? “Gert, you should really let me give you a ride.”

She glares at him. “And you should really get a shower.”

“Wow, okay-”

“You’re not my keeper, Chase,” she tells him angrily, tugging on her coat as she opens the door. “I can handle myself.”

She storms out the door and speeds her way down the road to work, only slowing down when she hits the school zone. Her heart rate slows down, too, and suddenly Gert realizes she just blew up at him for like...nothing. Absolutely nothing. Oh, God, he’s gonna be so mad at her now, shit . What the fuck is wrong with her? She needs to make this up to him- but how, though?

~~~~~

When Chase gets home from work at the garage, the whole house smells like pastry.

Curious, he kicks off his boots and heads to the kitchen, calling, “I’m home! Whatcha making?”

No response. That’s weird. Maybe Gert just has her earbuds in, or something?

Chase reaches the kitchen, and, nope...that is Definitely not what’s going on here.

His wife is laid down on the kitchen floor, lazily flipping through a cookbook. There’s a few dirty bowls on the counter, the remnants of...whatever it is she’s got in the oven right now. Upon closer inspection, he finds that the oven isn’t even, like, on. What the hell is happening here?

“Gert?”

Gert drops the cookbook unto her stomach, meeting his eyes. Croaking, she says, “Hey, babe.”

Chase steps forward, then sits down beside his wife and lies back next to her. “Mind telling me why we’re on the floor?”

“Well,” she starts, shifting closer to him, “I was on the floor because it’s really cold down here, and making supper made me so nauseous I almost puked.”

“Aw, you’re kidding,” he says, tone comforting.

He turns his face to look at her, his cheek against the cold tiling. Gert sniffles, shifting to snuggle up to him. “I wish I was.”

“What were you making, anyway?”

“I was trying to make that pot pie you like, but I don’t think it’s gonna come out right.” She sighs, looking up at him. “I’m really sorry about this morning, by the way. I was a total jerk.”

Chase strokes her hair comfortingly. “Don’t worry about it. Also, the oven isn’t turned on, you know that, right?”

Gert jolts upright, looking towards the oven, then flops back down with a defeated sigh. She covers her eyes with her hands, letting out a miserable groan. “Everything sucks.”

“You know what would make it suck less?” She takes her hands away from her face, waiting. “Seeing a doctor.”

Gert swats at him. “Shut up. Like, you’re right, but shut up.”

Chase sighs. “I still don’t understand why you hate the doctor this much.”

Gert jolts upright again, angry. “Because!!! I just do!!! Going to the doctor sucks!!! Getting told that there’s nothing they can do to help me sucks!!! Having them tell me that it’s all in my head sucks!!! Getting stuck with scars that they can’t fix and still billing me thousands of dollars I can’t pay sucks!!! Okay???”

Chase sits up, rubbing a hand up and down her back as she repetitively drags her hands down her face, the way she does when she’s frustrated. “This is about the accident.”

Gert sighs miserably. “Isn’t everything?”

In high school, Gert got into the worst kind of car accident, and the impact it had on her was more than just some scars and a few aches and pains. It was like a crack in the glass, almost; creating tiny fissures here and there. This affects that which affects the other thing, and so on.

He pulls her closer, wrapping her up in his arms. For a while, they just stay like that, Chase holding his wife until her breathing evens and the shaking stops.

“It’s not even- it’s not even about that, not fully,” she says, looking up at him. Her voice is quiet, vulnerable. “It’s just- all that time around doctors and you start to get sick of it, y’know?”

“Yeah, babe, I do. But the thing is, whether you admit to it or not,” he tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear, “There is something going on with you. And we need to find out what it is, so you don’t end up on the kitchen floor, feeling like you’re going to vomit just from trying to cook something. Okay?”

Gert swallows. “Fine. I’ll go, for you. But you’re gonna come with me, right?”

Chase presses a firm kiss to her forehead. “Of course, love.”

~~~~~

Gert has never liked waiting rooms.

There’s just something about them. The cheery posters on the walls, the smell in the air- a mix of rubbing alcohol, disease, and old person that sends her stomach churning. Well, to be fair, this time it was already churning. She can’t go an hour without feeling nauseous, these days.

God, she can’t believe she took the morning off for this. Gert checks her watch for what seems like the twentieth time, and sees that it’s only been, like, ten minutes. She sighs, frustrated. Can’t they hurry up?

“Hey,” Chase asks from the seat beside her. Gert jolts. Is it bad that she forgot he was there for a second? “They’re gonna call us soon, don’t worry.”

“I’m not worried, I’m just tired of waiting-”

“Gertrude Yorkes?” The receptionist calls, and they both turn. “Right this way, dear.”

Gert stands, motioning to Chase when he doesn’t immediately join her. “You’re coming, aren’t you?”

He stands, brushing invisible dust off his jeans. “Yeah, yeah, I just- I just wasn’t sure you’d want me in the actual room with you.”

Gert grabs his hand. “Of course I want you with me.”

Chase grins wide, like this isn’t something he should already know. He’s still grinning when they walk into the doctor’s office, and blushing his head off, to boot.

Doctor Cho walks in and sits down, then, greeting them with a smile. “So, how are we doing, hm? What are you here to see me for?”

Gert fidgets nervously. “Um, well...I haven’t been feeling the greatest.” Chase shoots her a look that says, understatement of the year. “I’ve been having a lot of trouble sleeping, and I’ve been feeling, like, super nauseous all the time, but especially in the mornings. And I’ve been having, like, the worst back pain.”

Dr. Cho’s eyebrow raises as she scribbles something down. “And how long has this been going on?”

Gert trades a look with Chase, both thinking. “About three weeks?”

More scribbles. “And when was the last time you had sexual intercourse?”

Gert blinks, wondering how that could possibly be relevant. “Uh, I don’t know. Recently?”

The eyebrow goes higher. “How recent? Would you say within the past month?”

“Oh, of course. Why is this, um, relevant?”

Dr. Cho scribbles some more stuff down, then gives her a comforting grin. “I’m just testing the possibilities, is all. Only a few more questions, I promise- actually, just one. How late is your period?”

She stews on it for a second, then realizes that, yeah, she is late. Huh. “Oh, um...a few days? But- wait. Wait wait wait. Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“We’ll have to do some tests, but...yes.” Holy fuck. Holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck???

Chase looks between the two of them, confused. “Wait, what’s going on?”

Gert swallows, looking at her husband and wondering what a baby would look like with his nose, his dimples. “I’m- I’m pregnant. Possibly.”

Chase doesn’t say anything, just blinks blankly. Like there’s elevator music playing in his head, or something.

Dr. Cho clears her throat. “Most likely, not just possibly. But, like I said, we’ll have to do some tests, but that should be easy enough-”

“Holy shit,” Chase says, like he’s coming out of a trance. “Holy shit, we’re pregnant. Or you, I guess. But, like, it’s our baby, so-” his eyes turn misty, voice wet as he asks, almost in disbelief, “We’re having a baby?”

Gert squeezes his hand, pushing down all the fear she’s feeling right now as she says, “Yeah, Chase, we are!”

__________

MONTH TWO.

“Gert?”

“Hey, Mom.” Gert fiddles with pen she’s holding, nervous. “Can I ask you something?”

It’s been about a month since Gert found out The News, and she’s still having trouble adjusting. Chase isn’t- he’s already looking at paint colours for the nursery and everything. But Gert is just so...scared. She’s been scared since the moment they got the tests back and she realized that this is Real, and that there’s a human person growing in her stomach.

“I’m a bit busy right, now, so if it’s not important-”

“It is.”

“Oh. well, let me sit down, then- I was just in the middle of making dinner.” there’s some shuffling on the other line, and then, “Okay, shoot.”

Gert clears her throat. “So, u-uhm, I have this friend, and, she, um, found out some news about a month ago...and it’s pretty big. Like, life-changing big. But she’s scared, really scared- because what if she’s bad at it, this new thing she’ll have to be, soon? What if I’m- she’s so bad at it that she ruins everything? What if something goes wrong? How would I- how would she deal with that?”

“Well, I would say to that ‘friend’ of yours that it’s not the end of the world if you’re bad at something in the beginning. Not everyone excels immediately-”

She’s not getting it. “I just don’t want to be a bad parent, Mom.”

“Oh. OH! You’re-”

“Yep. Please don’t tell anyone, okay? Like, sure, tell Dad, and we’ve already told Jan, but we’re gonna wait until that group trip we’re taking next month to tell everyone the news.” It’s been, like, so hard to keep that secret, actually. Thank God Alex is too busy with med school right now to bug Victor into visiting with him the way he used to. The half hour commute from Boston is just too much when you’re in the middle of finals.

“How far along are you?” Mom asks, voice bursting with excitement.

“Two months. That’s why we’re waiting until next month to tell everyone; just so- just so we get past the scary stage.”

“Oh, Gertrude, everything is going to be fine. You’re going to be fine.”

Gert gulps. “You don’t know that, Mom. You’ve never even- never mind.”

Mom sighs. “I know what you’re going to say. But just because I’ve never been pregnant myself doesn’t mean I’m a dunce, okay? And trust me on this: nothing is going to go wrong, and you’re going to be a great mother. Okay?”

“...Sure.”

“Well, that sounded convincing.” Gert snorts. Her mother, the comedian. “Listen, Gertrude, what you need is a change.”

Gert frowns. “What?”

“I just mean that, maybe part of the reason you’re having trouble is because you can’t reconcile your life before with your life after. Just...do something different. Implement a new routine, buy new shoes, change your hair?” Gert huffs a laugh. ‘Buy new shoes’? Really? “Hey, don’t knock it until you try it. Did you know Janet went and got a pixie cut when she found out she was pregnant with Chase? She said it really helped her adjust.”

“Wait, really?”

Mom sighs. “Figures you’d start listening when I mentioned her.”

Gert’s mouth purses. “That’s not fair.”

“It’s fine, Gertrude. Never mind. There’s an awkward pause, and then she says, “Well, as much as I want to grill you, I’ve got a meeting. I’m so happy for you, okay? Goodbye!”

“Bye-” beeeeep.

God, who knew moms could get jealous?

Unfortunately, something she said struck a chord. Gert opens the front-facing camera on her phone, regarding her reflection. Her hair in particular catches her eye. It’s a darker shade of purple than it used to be, more plum than violet, but that doesn’t make it any less purple. Just like in high school. Just like in college. Just like the day she got the news about the baby.

Maybe Mom is right- and a change can’t hurt, can it?

~~~~~

“Hey, where are you?” Chase just got home from work, and Gert, weirdly enough, isn’t around. She was supposed to be- there was a power outage at the school, so everyone was sent home, including the teachers. Gert sounded pretty happy about it- said she was going take the opportunity to finally tell her mother about the baby. Chase was glad to hear it; she’s been kind of avoiding the topic with her parents- well, just avoiding them in general.

“At the salon. I texted you, didn’t I?”

Chase pulls the phone away from his ear to check his notifications, finding a text from My Love <333 that says exactly that. “Shit, you’re right, sorry. So, are you just getting a trim, or…?”

“I’m- it’s a surprise, actually. You’ll see when I get home, okay?”

“Wait, why don’t I meet you there? We could get dinner, too, if you want.” He looks down at himself, realizing he’ll probably have to get a shower before he leaves if she does. Working in a garage all day does not leaving him smelling all that fresh.

“Oh my gosh, I would love that. How about Kelsey’s?”

Chase grins. “Sounds good. You’re at the salon on Kenmount, right? I’ll be there in a half hour or so.”

“See you then!”

~~~~~

“Well, you sure sound cheery,” says her stylist, Mara. “That was your man, right?”

“Yeah,” Gert responds, tucking her phone back in her pocket. Mara isn’t actually doing much with her hair right now- the foils are in, and they’re both waiting for the timer to go off. “We’re gonna get dinner after this.”

Mara raises an eyebrow. “Does he know what you’re doing here?”

Gert shakes her head, being careful of the foils. “Nope. God, I don’t know if he even remembers what I used to look like without purple hair- it’s been that colour since, like, the ninth grade.”

“Wow, long time. Did he know you back then?” Gert nods. “High school sweethearts, huh?”

Gert grins. “I guess you could say that.”

They chat a while longer, until the timer goes off and Mara brings her over to the sink to wash her hair. Gert won’t lie- getting your hair washed at the salon is probably one of the best feelings in the world. It’s so...luxurious. Makes her feel like she’s a princess getting ready for the ball.

Mara leads her back to the chair, turning it away from the mirror while she dries and styles it. Gert knows it’s just for the drama of it all, but the suspense is, like, killing her. What if it doesn’t look good? What if she should have just stayed with the purple? What if-

“Alright, I’m done. Let’s turn you around…” Mara does so, but Gert’s eyes are still squeezed shut. “Come on, you look good! I promise.”

Reluctantly, Gert opens her eyes, and...wow. Wow. her hair is a rich, chocolatey brown, like if Hershey’s was a hair colour. And it looks so silky, too- before, it was soft, sure, but never as silken as this. Holy crap.

“You like it?”

Gert meets her eyes in the mirror, grinning. “I love it.”

~~~~~

Chase is waiting outside of the salon, wondering what’s taking Gert so long. Like, he’s late, and she still hasn’t come out yet. To be fair, he had a reason to be late- he went and picked up flowers for her, as a surprise- but it’s still about fifteen minutes past when he said he’d be here. Did she leave already? Shit, she took the car here, so he’ll have to take another Lyft to get home if she did-

“Those for me?” Asks a brunette woman who’s just walked out of the salon, and Chase is almost ashamed to say it takes him a long second to realize that she’s his wife.

“Wow, your hair...and, um, yes.” He hands her the bouquet of daisies, and she presses her face into them, grinning.

“Thanks, sweets.” Gert tucks a piece of hair behind her ear, blushing. “So? What do you think?”

“That I wish I could propose to you again, you’re that gorgeous.”

Gert grins, then grabs the collar of his shirt to pull him in for a kiss. He laughs into her mouth, delighted as he winds his arms around her waist. They stay that way for a while, kissing in the middle of the sidewalk like they’re teenagers again. It’s nice to feel that way, for once. Everything happens so fast, nowadays, it’s hard to keep up. Like, by November, they’re going to have a child. Don’t get him wrong, Chase is probably more excited to be a father than he’s ever been about anything in his life. But it’s hard not to be a little scared, you know? In seven months, he’ll be a father- and heaven knows he never had a good role model for that.

The thing is, though- he’s not going to be doing this alone. He and Gert will have each other. And that’s all he needs, really.

__________

MONTH THREE.

“So, how long until you guys get here, again?”

“Molls, I told you,” Gert says into the phone for what feels like the sixth time, “we are in the Rocky fucking Mountains. We will get there when we get there.”

From the backseat, Alex sighs loudly. “Is she really calling again just for that?”

“Tell Alex that I can hear him, and that he’s a little bitch.” Gert snorts. “Why did you guys decide to drive up with them again?”

“Molls, we live a half hour away from each other, travelling with Al and Vic just makes sense.” Gert twists to look to Alex in the backseat. “She said you’re a little bitch, by the way.”

Alex shrugs, then goes back to tapping at his laptop. Gert struggles not to let out a sigh of relief. Ever since they met up at the airport, he’s been giving her the ‘I know something is up with you’ eye. The hoodie she’s wearing is baggy, so it’s not like the baby bump is obvious, but she really wants to keep the pregnancy hush hush until they’re all together. Like, sure, it’ll be chaos, but then no one can get mad at her for not being told first. The only one exempt from this is Molly, who already knows, of course. Gert called her sister the minute she stepped out of the appointment.

“Fine, fine. Just hurry up, okay? Karolina has been waiting for Chase to go on their hike, and they’re getting super stir crazy.”

“Uh…” Chase looks over at her from the driver’s side, mouthing, what’s up? Gert mutes the call for a moment to ask, “Are you planning to go on a hike with Karrie?”

Chase snorts. “If you think I’m leaving your side for any more than five minutes this week-”

Gert waves a hand, cutting off what is sure to be a very well-intentioned rant from her Mother Hen of a husband. He’s been kind of protective, lately, but Gert completely understands why, so she can’t really get mad at him for it. “Yeah, yeah.” She unmutes the phone, telling her sister, “Send her on her way, alright? Chase says they don’t need to wait up for him.”

“Okay....what should I tell her?”

“That he’s, uh, tired from all the driving.” Chase gives her a skeptical look, but, like, what else is she supposed to say?

“Riiiight. This wouldn’t have anything to do with-”

“Oh, it has everything to do with that. But we said that would be kept secret, remember?” God, Molly is terrible with secrets. Gert is surprised they even made it this far, to be honest.

“Oh, shit, right. Uh, see you soon! Bye!”

“Bye-” Beeeeep.

Gert sighs, pocketing her phone. She’s just about to open up her book again when Alex asks, “What’s being kept secret?”

On reflex, Gert’s hand goes to her stomach, tracing little designs over the bump. “Oh, nothing. Just a little surprise for the trip.”

Chase snorts, muttering, “‘Little surprise’ is right.”

She elbows him. “Shut up.”

Chase sticks his tongue out at her, then makes another turn- and, finally, they pass the Stone & Oak Chalets sign. Almost there.

They sign in at the front booth, and as they make their way to their rented chalet, Victor finally, finally wakes up. He’s been asleep since they left the airport, snoring like there was a thousand horsepower motor stuck between his lungs.

“Are we here?” He asks, voice slurred, and Gert twists around to nod a yes. Her back twinges as she does it, and she sucks in a breath, fingers digging into her thigh.

Chase reaches over to cover her hand with his own, squeezing as Gert breathes through the spike of pain. Why does having a kid have to come with so many aches and pains? It’s, like, the worst.

A few moments later, they reach their rented chalet. Nico and Karolina’s buggie is parked out front, alongside Molly’s...oh, god, is that a motorcycle???

After high school, Molly kind of went a little wild. Or, a lot wild, actually. And once her sister started down the ‘free spirit’ path, she never really stopped. Ever since she graduated, she’s just been doing whatever she wanted, whether that was going to culinary school, or being a backup dancer for Ariana Grande. Gert actually met her, once- it, like, changed her life.

It’s hard not to be in awe of Molly, honestly- although, others clearly don’t feel the same way. Klara, for one, was Not interested in the whole nomad lifestyle. The breakup was amicable, apparently, but Gert doesn’t really see much of her anymore. Last she heard, Klara was going to school in Germany.

Also, last she heard, her sister didn’t own a fucking motorcycle, so what does she know? “Why did she think that was a good idea?”

“I don’t think she did,” Chase says as he parks, “I think she just wanted something cool-looking that could fit into a cockpit.”

Gert sighs. “Couldn’t she have just gotten a Vespa?”

Victor scoffs. “A Vespa isn’t half as badass, Gertie.”

Gert glares at him through the rearview. “Do not call me that.”

Victor gives a flippant wave, curling back up against Alex’s shoulder. Watching it happen, Gert is faced with the age-old question: Are Alex And Victor Dating? No one is really all that sure- like, yeah, they’ve been caught making out every now and again, but they’re so damn confusing about it. It’s like Schrodinger's Gays or some shit, seriously.

Chase flicks off the engine, and everyone gets out of the car, lugging their things. The only one not carrying anything is Gert, because pregnancy and heavy lifting would for sure not be a good mix.

“Gert, are you kidding?” Victor whines. “Come on, help out!”

She’s just about to stutter out an excuse when Alex bops Victor on the shoulder. “Bro, lay off.”

Victor seems like he wants to argue some more, but Alex gives him a look, and he immediately shuts his mouth. See what she meant about Schrodinger's Gays?

Gert leads the rest of them up the front steps, stretching as the boys lug their belongings. Being cooped up in that car since the airport did not do good things to her muscles.

She opens the door, holding it open for them to pass through. That, at least, she can do.

Being pregnant, unfortunately, means that Gert is all but forced to take it easy. Chase, whose always wanted her to be, as he says, ‘nicer to herself’, was thrilled about this. Gert, not so much. It’s hard to be ecstatic about the fact that she had to scale down her daily activities by, like, forty percent. At least now that school is out, it’s not quite as bad. The summer should make things a little easier for her to deal with, and this trip is going to be a welcome start. Mountain air, good friends, and finally telling everyone about their little miracle should make for an awesome vacation.

“We’re here!” Chase calls as he steps inside, which means Gert hears her sister before she sees her.

“IS GERT WITH YOU?” Molly calls from the kitchen, regardless of how clear the answer is.

“Duh!” Gert responds. There’s a clattering noise from the kitchen, like Molly stood up too fast and knocked something over. “What, do you think I would-”

Gert is interrupted by her sister very nearly crashing into her, before she remembers to have some grace for once and stops herself only seconds prior to collision. She wraps Gert in a gentle hug, burying her face in her hair. “Sorry, I just missed you.”

Gert squeezes Molly tight around the middle, mildly annoyed at how much taller she is. It feels like she grows every time Gert sees her. “I missed you too, Molls- though I don’t know when you got this tall, like, Jesus!”

She pulls back to regard her, and sees that Molly is doing the same. As always, her sister looks like she’s just stepped off the pages of Greek mythos, tall and lean with wild, curly hair and an almost godly glow. It’s a little intimidating, honestly.

‘“Oh, my God, your hair!”’ is the first thing out of her sister’s mouth. She reaches out to run her fingers through the dark strands, in awe. “God, I’d forgotten what you looked like with your natural colour. When did you get this done?”

Gert blushes. “Last month, ish?”

“Well, I love it. You look bangin’.”

“She does, doesn’t she?” Chase says, returning from the car with the last bag. “Where’s Nico?”

“Right here,” says their aforementioned friend. She gives Gert one of her rare grins. “You look great, Gert.”

“No hug, huh?”

Nico rolls her eyes, then says, “I have a cold. Don’t want to get you sick.”

Gert moves back about three steps on instinct. Ordinarily, she wouldn’t care, but her getting sick could mean that the baby gets sick, and that’s, like, her worst fear. There are so many things that can go wrong during pregnancy, and Gert is not tempting fate.

Nico raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t say anything- until Chase holds out a fist for a fistbump over one of his customary bear-hugs. “Since when are you guys germaphobes?”

“U-uh…”

“Nico, let it go,” Alex says, and Gert blinks at him, surprised. Since when is he anyone’s knight-in-shining armour, let alone hers?

Nico has a similar query. “Since when are you-”

“I’ll tell you later. Anyway, what’s that smell?”

Molly claps her hands together. “I made soup! Or, reheated soup that I made back home. But still, soup. Also i’m in the middle of making pie. Can you tell I got bored?”

Gert raises an eyebrow, wondering which ‘home’ this is. Maybe Paris? She’s been spending a ton of time there lately. Gert suspects there’s a girl involved, but Molly has adamantly refused to answer any questions pertaining to that, so. “As long as that means I get a slice of blueberry pie, then I don’t care how much bored-baking you do.”

~~~~~

“I can’t believe we haven’t told them yet.” They’re sitting out on the balcony together, Gert curled up in his lap as they watch the night sky. Not much was done in the way of group activity, today; all any of them wanted to do was go to bed after all that driving. “It’s literally insane, you know that, right?”

Gert hides her face in the crook of his neck, humming noncommittally. “I’m too tired for that tonight, love. Tomorrow, okay?”

Chase leans forward a little to press his mouth to her shoulder. “Okay. I think Alex knows already, though.”

“Yeah, same. Sherlockian bastard.”

Chase wheezes out a laugh, surprised. “That’s one way of putting it.”

~~~~~

When Gert wakes up the next morning, nauseous as she always is around this time, it’s 11 o’clock, and she’s alone. It’s not unreasonable to assume Chase would have been up by now, but she still misses him.

Reluctantly, after waiting a good ten minutes just to see if he’d come back to bed, Gert heads to the kitchen, knowing it’s probably the best place to look for her forever-hungry husband. She stops by the bathroom, first, brushing her teeth so her mouth doesn’t taste gross.

When she reaches the kitchen, she finds her husband eating leftovers from Molly’s dinner yesterday. “Babe, you’re not seriously eating blueberry pie for breakfast.”

Chase looks up from his plate, grinning at the sound of her voice. “Sure am. Want some?”

Gert rolls her eyes, then approaches, grabbing the plate and fork from him and taking a bite. Oh, he’s definitely not getting this back. Cold leftover pie is the Best type of pie.

“That’s yours now, isn’t it?” Gert nods, taking another bite, and then another. “You’re such a hypocrite, you know that- oh my God, are you done? How do you eat that fast?”

Gert shrugs, giving him the plate to wash when he holds out a hand for it. “I dunno. Pregnancy makes you hungry, I guess.”

“No, really? Hadn’t noticed.” Chase turns and dunks the plate into the sink of soapy water, wiping at it with a dishcloth as he hums along to the radio.

Gert moves closer to him to wrap her arms around his waist, pressing her face into his shoulder blade. “Where is everybody, anyway?”

“Nico, Alex, and Victor are still hidden away in their rooms, but Molly and Karolina are gone on another hike.”

Gert scoffs, disgusted. “Exercise. Laaaame.”

Chase laughs, still bopping his head to the radio. “To you.”

“Yeah, I guess. I like this song, by the way.”

Chase snorts. “You say that as if I picked it. But, yeah, it’s nice. Good for dancing.”

“You asking me to dance, Yorkes?”

Chase turns around in her arms, grinning down at her. “Would you say yes if I was?”

“You’re a hard man to say no to.”

Chase huffs a laugh, then grabs her hand and starts bopping them around the kitchen in a messy waltz. They’re both giggling, leaning into each other like teenagers.

The chorus comes around, and Chase starts quietly singing along, low enough that only she can hear it. His singing voice has never been amazing, or anything, but Gert still loves when he sings to her. It makes her feel so warm inside. “And you’ll be left in the dust, unless I stuck by ya, you’re my sunflower, I think your love would be too much, you’ll be left in the dust, unless I stuck by ya, you’re the sunflower, you’re the sunflower.”

Gert giggles, then gets up on her tippy toes to press her lips to his, gently cupping his face with her palm. Chase smiles into the kiss, pulling her closer. Neither of them can stay serious long enough for it not to be messy, but that’s okay. Even a messy kiss with Chase is still a good kiss.

~~~~~

Chase is drunk.

They all are, actually, save for Gert. His beautiful, intelligent, all around amazing wife is drinking orange juice, because that’s supposed to be good for the baby, and she’s, like, a genius. Wait, he should tell her that.

She’s sitting in his lap, so it’s all too easy to whisper into her ear, “You’re, like, a genius, you know that?”

Gert laughs, and it’s the best sound in the world. “Am I?”

Chase nods, and Nico slurs out, “‘Are you’ what?”

Gert snorts. “Nothing, Neeks.”

Nico rolls her eyes dramatically. “You’re so booooring, you’re not even driiiinking, it’s laaaaame.”

Chase scoffs. “Right, it’s sooo lame to keep our unborn child safe.”

Nico freezes, the empty beer can dropping out of her hand and clattering to the floor. “WHAT?”

“Oh my god,” Karolina exclaims, startled, “what is it?”

“Gert is pregnant!”

“Holy fuck,” Victor shouts, “No way!!! Oh my gosh!!”

Alex gives the two of them the biggest grin imaginable, holding up his beer bottle in a toast-like fashion. “Congrats! We been knew, and everything, but congrats!!!”

Victor turns to Alex with the look of a man incensed. “Who the fuck is we, bastard?!?”

Alex scrambles away from him, but Chase is distracted by Nico and Karolina closing in on himself and Gert before he can see who wins. It’s probably the tightest group hug he’s ever been in, and all three girls are crying their eyes out. Molly joins the hug, and so do Alex and Victor, after a minute. Even though he’s probably going to crack a rib from the four, five, six people all but on top of him right now, Chase doesn’t care. With his friends with him and his wife smiling the way she is right now, beautiful and happy, how could he?

__________

MONTH FOUR.

There is a deluxe-sized Twix bar sitting on Kamala’s desk, and Gert has never wanted- no, needed- to eat something so bad in her entire life. It’s a prep period for the both of them, so they’re hanging out together while they correct papers, but Gert is too enticed by that chocolate bar to pay attention to any of it.

It’s not all that fair, either, because Kamala has become one of her greatest friends here in Concord. They both did their work term here three years ago, and then subsequently both got offered jobs here, too, so it was easy to stay friends. Unfortunately, they also both signed up to teach summer school this July, which is why Gert is here and not on a beach somewhere with her buff as hell husband, who refuses to wear a shirt during the summer months.

“Gert, dude,” Kamala says, tearing Gert’s eyes away from the shiny foil of the packaging. “You okay?”

Gert yawns a little, covering her mouth to hide it. “I’m fine.”

Kamala raises an eyebrow. “You sure? If you need to go home, it’s okay-”

“No, no, it’s- I’m fine. I can get through a school day without falling over.”

Kamala puts a hand on her arm. “That is not what I meant.” Gert rolls her eyes, not really believing her, and Kamala sighs. “Fine, fine. I’m gonna head to the bathroom, okay? Make sure the room doesn’t catch on fire in my absence.”

She gets up from the chair and heads out of the room. The second the door has closed behind her, Gert snatches the chocolate bar off the desk. She rips it open like a savage, not even bothering to split it in half before taking a huuuuge bite. God, that tastes good.

She finishes the chocolate bar in about forty-five seconds, which is a total record, honestly. She should call Guiness about it, or something- ‘Local Pregnant Woman Scarfs Down Chocolate Bar In Under A Minute.’

She licks her fingers, then tosses the wrapper in the trash to hide the evidence just in time for Kamala to come back.

“Hey! You’re back!” Gert squeaks, and Kamala immediately looks suspicious.

“I...am…” she looks around the room, obviously trying to figure out why Gert ‘Horrible Liar’ Yorkes is acting like this. She zeroes in on the space where the chocolate bar once was, then turns to her, glaring with the fire of a thousand suns. “Oh my God, Gert, you did not eat my Twix bar! I was saving that for lunch, asshole!”

Gert shrugs guiltily. “...Sorry?”

__________

MONTH FIVE.

“Gert, love, why are you awake?”

He’s just gotten home from the night shift, soaked to his bones from the rain, and she shouldn’t be up right now. But here she is, sitting at the kitchen island with a parenting book in her hands.

Gert looks over at him, giving him a tired smile. “The storm kept me up.”

Chase shakes his head a little, walking over and standing behind her. He runs his hands up and down the length of her arms, saying, “You should at least be lying down, though.”

“It’s harder to read lying down,” Gert says, drained, “and I need to finish this chapter.”

Chase starts rubbing her shoulders, trying to loosen the tight knots there. “Are you sure? Can’t it wait?”

“No, I- I need to finish it now. It’s- it’s important.”

“Is it?” Chase asks, rubbing against that spot a few inches below her ear that’s always super tense. Gert groans in pleasure, leaning back. “Is it really?”

“Y-yes,” Gert stutters out. “I need to...I…”

Chase presses a kiss to the side of her head. “You don’t need to do anything. You’re gonna be a great mom, parenting books or no.”

Gert’s hand moves to cover her stomach, her expression turning worried. “You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do.” He kisses her again, on the cheek this time. “You’re going to be the best mom the world has ever seen.”

Gert scoffs. “That’s a reach.”

“Is it?” Gert doesn’t respond, save for a sigh. After a moment, Chase says, “Come to bed.”

“Fine.” She stands, stretching a little. “But I’m taking the book-”

Chase grabs it from her, holding it high above her head. “Nope! Time to sleep like a normal person.”

Gert crosses her arms and glares at him. “You’re a jerk.”

“I’m the jerk you married.” Chase puts the book at the top of the fridge, which makes Gert glare even more. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

“Nope. Give me my book back.” Her arms are still crossed, and she’s tapping her foot. Uh-oh.

“Gert-”

“No, seriously,” she says, “I need that book. Either you give it back, or I sleep out here.”

“First of all, if you think I would make my pregnant wife sleep on the couch, then you really must be sleep deprived.” Gert grins, thinking she’s won- but Chase isn’t finished. “Second of all,” he says, pulling her to him and picking her up, bridal style, all in one swift movement, “You are not getting that book back.”

“Chase, put me-” Gert interrupts herself to yawn, giving herself away, “put me down.”

“When we get to bed, sure.” He starts making his way down the hallway, rocking her slowly.

“You’re...so…” Gert lets out another big yawn. “...mean.”

“Am I?” he asks softly. She looks up at him with a sleepy expression, shaking her head. Chase presses a kiss to the space between her brows, gentle as he can.

She’s asleep by the time they reach the bedroom. He knew she would be- for all her efforts not to be, Gert has been so tired lately. He gets it, he does; even if it worries him. She really needs to take a break.

__________

MONTH SIX.

“Oh my God, babe, babe, look at this!” Chase says, holding up a onesie printed with tiny monster trucks in different colours. “We have to get this.”

They’re shopping for baby clothes right now, and, wow, her husband has bad taste. Like, sure, he’s a Givenchy fanboy, and has most of his clothing tailored, but, Christ, their child’s clothes are probably going to be criminally bad.

Gert takes it from him, putting it back on the rack. “Chase, no.”

He grabs it off the rack again, slam dunking it into the nearby cart. “Chase, yes.”

She rolls her eyes, both annoyed and amused. “Fine, fine. You’re taking responsibility for our ugly baby.”

This, of course, is a joke, and they both know it’s a joke, but Chase still says, “Aw, come on, she’s got your genes! She’s gonna be gorgeous.”

Gert laughs a little, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. “Sap. and stop calling them a she, your ‘best educated guess’ is not solid evidence, and you know it.”

“It’s not a guess, babe, stop doubting my prophetic skills.” He grabs another onesie off the rack, regarding it, then throwing it in the cart.

Gert laughs, shaking her head at her dumbass husband. God, she loves him so much. Sometimes she wonders how she got this lucky, wonders how many ways this could’ve gone wrong before they were mature enough to deal with problems in the right manner. But Chase likes to say that it was fate- Gert and Chase, meant to be in every universe. What was it that he said, once? ‘We can’t coexist without me being in love with you’ ? It was a long time ago, when he said it- their first year of university, when Gert was so needlessly insecure about Chase breaking up with her because of the long distance- but she still remembers it. How could she not?

“What are you thinking about?” Chase asks softly as they enter the plush toys section. “I can hear the gears turning.”

Gert meets his eyes, leaning into him with a dreamy smile on her face. “You.”

“Yeah?” Chase asks, grinning softly. “I’m on your mind, am I?”

He says it teasingly, but Gert nods anyway. “Always, babe.”

Chase laughs a little, then leans in, cupping her face as he kisses her. Gert hums into it, her hand skittering down his bicep. He’s doing that thing where he moves his thumb back and forth all slow against her cheekbone, and Gert has to force herself to muster up some restraint. She is not making out with him in the Walmart aisle. Nuh-uh, no way.

She pulls back, eyes still closed as she presses her forehead to his. “That was nice.”

Chase laughs softly, running his fingers through her hair. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I love you.”

He grins, then leans in again to peck her on the mouth. “I love you, too.”

__________

MONTH SEVEN.

Gert is stressed.

She’s sitting on the living room floor, surrounded by parenting books. She’s been doing this a lot, lately, trying to absorb as much information as possible. If Gert can know everything there is to know about being a mom, then there’s much less of a chance that she’ll suck at it.

So here she sits, ignoring the papers sitting on the kitchen counter that desperately need to be graded just to stare at the same pages she’s been over a thousand times already. Gert hasn’t been the most attentive at work lately- ever since school came back in session, actually. She tries to be focused, but she’s so tired all the time, and she’s so achey, so actually doing her job properly is just So Hard right now.

If Chase were here, he would probably tell her to sleep. It’s sort of late, and she has to teach tomorrow, but, hey, he’s at work, so she can do whatever the hell she wants right now. A year ago, this would’ve meant eating ice cream and watching Vanderpump Rules, because he hates that show and says dairy ‘gives people acne and stomach problems’. Now it means sitting on the floor, wracked with discomfort as she rereads I Heart My Little A-Holes, because her child is a goddamn varsity soccer player. When the baby first started kicking, Gert was so amazed by it that she burst into tears on the spot. At the time, she was in a Dairy Queen, so she got some concerned looks. But now she just wants to sit her unborn infant down and tell them that careers in sports are often tumultuous, and that they should consider something that doesn’t involve so much FUCKING KICKING.

At some point, she falls asleep. She’s not sure when Chase gets home, but he must, at some point, because she wakes up the next morning in bed. Him having to carry her to bed has happened...more than it should, lately, which really isn’t fair to him. He works so hard, he shouldn’t have to deal with her, too.

Woah. That was...a not so good thought. Like, really bad, actually. Gert works just as hard as he does, and she’s the one who’s actually pregnant, why does she think that he somehow needs more lenience? Moreover, is pregnancy supposed to up your internalized misogyny levels, or is that just a her thing?

“Oh my god,” Chase groans, “are you thinking about, like, the patriarchy again? It’s too early for this.”

They’re tangled up together in bed, his head tucked into her shoulder and his hand resting on her stomach, as it often is when they sleep. He hasn’t ever really explained why, but it’s not as if he needs to. Wanting to be close to their child is not something Gert would question, ever.

She wrinkles her nose at him. “How do you know what I’m thinking about?”

“You’re making that face.”

Her brows crease. “I make a patriarchy face?”

“Yep.” He shifts, pressing his face into the crook of her neck with a groan. “Is work, like, necessary today?”

Gert sighs. “Unfortunately.”

Chase squints up at her, miffed. “Are you sure? Can’t we just skip? We could go on a date- we never go on dates anymore.”

“Yes, we do!”

Chase rolls his eyes. “Pokemon Go and baby clothes shopping do not count as dates, babe.”

Gert bites her lip. He’s got her there. “Well, either way, we can’t skip. The kids have presentations today.”

Chase sighs. “‘The kids’. I feel ignored.”

Gert scoffs. “Drama queen-”

“Ignored!” He flops away from her theatrically. “Ignored and oppressed!”

Gert sits up, shaking her head at him. “You really should have taken a deep dive into the acting business. You would’ve made a fortune.”

Chase snorts. “I would’ve been doing Hallmark movies for my entire career, love.”

“Oh, true,” Gert says, scrunching her face up, “and you’re, like, way too handsome for those.”

“Am I?” He smirks up at her, arm stretched behind his head, and God, the things she would do in different circumstances right now…

Even though she’s probably going to be late for work, she leans down to kiss him anyway, long and slow. Chase hums into it, threading his hand through her hair.

They stay like that for a moment, until Gert realizes that she literally cannot be late for work today, and pulls away from him to get ready. Chase moans and groans the way he always does, then leaves the bedroom to go make breakfast.

Once she’s dressed and presentable, she shuffles out to the kitchen, groggily taking the breakfast plate he’s handed her and sitting down at the island. She picks at her food, not all that hungry.

“You okay?” Chase says from the place beside her, leaned against the island. “You seem zoned.”

Gert shrugs, looking away from him. “I’m okay.”

He nudges her, grinning a little. “Maybe we really should skip today.”

She gives him a sad smile. “Don’t I wish.”

~~~~~

When Chase gets the call, he’s on his break, munching on vending machine M&Ms near the front of the garage.

It’s MJ’s voice on the other line, saying, “Hey, um, Gert, uh, she fainted a minute ago- she’s fine, now, sorta, you know, disoriented and everything, but f-fine, she told me to call you-”

Chase’s heart starts to pound out of his chest. “Can I- can I talk to her, please?”

MJ agrees, and there’s some jostling on the other line as she hands off the phone. As she does this, Chase waves in his bosses direction, trying to grab his attention. Just when Henry catches on to his frantic waving, Gert says weakly, “Hey, honey.”

“Hi, baby, how are you feeling?” Henry reaches him, then, but Chase holds up a hand to tell him to wait.

Gert gives a weak cough. “Not good. I, um, I fainted? I think- I think Michelle told you that, but, uh, it happened during recess,we’re, um, in the teacher’s lounge, now. It wasn’t- it wasn’t bad, or anything. I’m- I’m okay, now, I think-”

“Gert, sweetheart, let me come pick you up.” He meets Henry’s eyes, starting to mouth, ‘ my wife-’ , but Henry waves him off before he can even finish the sentence, giving him a thumbs-up. Chase is so grateful to have such an understanding boss, seriously. Gert being pregnant is stressful enough, no matter how excited he is, and he doesn’t think he could handle a shitty work environment.

Gert swallows. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure, sweetheart.” Chase waves goodbye to Henry and starts making his way to the Jeep, pulling out his keys. “And we’re going straight to Dr. Temple’s office, okay?”

“That-” Gert interrupts herself to swallow again, like her throat is too dry. Hopefully MJ gets her some water. “That sounds good.”

~~~~~

The first thing Gert does when she sees her husband is reach out to hug him. When she came outside, he’d been leaning against the Jeep, still in his jumpsuit from work, and all she wants in the world right now is to hug him.

Chase wraps her up in his arms, holding her gingerly, like she’s a piece of porcelain about to crack. If she didn’t know she deserved it, Gert would probably muster up the energy to be offended.

The drive to Dr. Temple’s office is quiet, and Gert can’t help but worry that he’s upset with her. She knows that that’s wholly illogical, but still. Knowing it’s stupid doesn’t stop her from asking, only five minutes from the OB-GYN’s office, “Are you- are you mad at me?”

Chase gives her his most incredulous, wide-eyed look. “What?”

She gulps. “Well, you’re always saying that I should take better care of myself, right? And-”

Chase reaches across the arm rest to grab her hand. “Am I upset that you’ve been overworking yourself to this point? Yes. but am I mad at you? No. Not ever.”

Gert snorts. “Now, that was a bald-faced lie.”

“Fair enough.”

~~~~~

Chase really likes Dr. Temple. She’s nice, and really good at calming both of them down, plus, she takes walk-ins.

But she’s also a grade-A hard-ass. Which means that whatever she says, goes. Even if Gert doesn’t like it- and from what Chase can gather, she’s probably not going to like what Dr. Temple has to say today much at all.

“So, you said you fainted at work?” Gert nods. “And you’ve been feeling drained, you don’t sleep well, and you’re feeling dazed?” Gert hesitates to respond, so Chase does it for her with a very pointed nod. “Right. Okay, it sounds like you just need a break.”

They both look at her quizzically. “No, seriously. You are getting a doctor assigned nap, okay? Officially.”

She starts scribbling something down, and that’s when something seems to dawn on his wife. “Wait. Is this bed rest? Are you putting me on bed rest.”

Dr. Temple gives her an awkward smile. “We don’t like to call it that, here. And it’s modified bed rest, anyway.”

Uh-oh. Gert’s about to freak out, he can tell. Should he do something? Help her calm down? Anything?

But just as he’s about to reassure her that this won’t be as bad as she thinks, Gert lets out a great sigh of relief. “Oh, thank God.”

Both Chase and Dr. Temple blink at her in surprise. “You’re not...upset?”

Gert shrugs. “I thought I would be, but...no. I just feel relieved, really. I mean, I’ll have to talk it out with the admin, but, jeesh, teaching like this has sucked.”

Chase grins, nudging her. “Hey, maybe we really can go on that date, now.”

Gert snorts. “Yeah, sure, as long as it goes along with my house arrest.”

Dr. Temple snorts. “I wouldn’t go so far as to call it that. Lots of women stop working around this time of the pregnancy, or even earlier, in some cases. I’m just telling you to take it easy, and to try and stay in bed longer than you usually would, you know? Being on your feet all day does nothing to help the baby.”

Gert nods. “Yeah, yeah. Lots of naps in my future, I guess.”

~~~~~

There have indeed been a lot of naps in Gert’s past, future, and immediate present.

Right now, she’s curled up in bed, watching The Parent Trap. The Lindsay Lohan one, obviously, because it’s a cinematic masterpiece and one of the best family films of all time, right up there with The Princess Diaries and The Princess Bride. Wow, that’s a lot of princesses for someone who claimed to hate pink for most of their life. Gert is so glad she’s over that, now- pink is awesome.

Just as the ‘we’re long lost twins and we’re gonna trade lives’ montage starts up, she hears the alarm go off, meaning that Chase is finally home from grocery shopping. Gert looks out the window to make sure, trying to see past the mountain of books piled on the window seat to their front yard. It’s difficult to see the driveway from where she’s sitting, mostly because of the huge inosculated sycamore blocking her vision.

Before they bought this house, the previous owners had been an older couple in their fifties- and when they got married, they planted two sycamores on either side of the walkway out front, tying them together with strong twine (or so she’s been told). Over time, they grafted together, creating an arch just tall enough for Chase to walk through. There are some other trees around the property, too, just so it’s not lonely.

Gert finally spots the Jeep parked in the driveway, her face breaking into a grin at the sight. Sure, she already knew he was here, but she’s still happy.

There’s a knock on the door, then a freak as Chase enters without waiting for an answer. “I’m home!”

“Did you get my-“

“Apple, cheddar, and chilli special order panini? Yes, yes I did.” He holds out the bag, and Gert makes grabby hands at him until he gets close enough that she can snatch it from his grasp.

As Gert digs in, Chase sits next to her on the bed, shaking his head. “I still don’t know how you eat that.”

Gert shrugs, hand over her mouth as she says, “Pregnancy cravings are weird.”

“You’re telling me. So, what movie are we watching?”

“Chase, come on, you know The Parent Trap.” She gives him a look, not believing his ignorance.

“Oh! Oh, yeah, sorry. Been a minute since I’ve seen it, I guess.” He shifts, winding an arm around her waist.

Gert leans into him, taking another bite of her sandwich. “It’s, like, my favourite movie.”

Chase snorts. “One of 200, maybe.”

“Fair enough.”

They watch in silence for a while, until they get to the scene where Annie is bullshitting to Dennis Quaid about calling him dad, and Gert asks, “Do you ever...do you ever worry? About- about being a dad, I mean.”

Chase scoffs. “Are you kidding? I’m always worried. I’m terrified , Gert.”

“Because of-“

“Yeah, because of him. I mean, how am I supposed to be a good father if my own was such a jerk, right?”

Gert’s eyebrows crease. “But you’re not freaking out- how do you not freak out?”

Chase shrugs. “I mean, sure, I’m worried, how can I not- but I’ve got you. And we’re gonna go through this together, right?”

Gert grins, reaching up to peck him on the cheek. “Of course, babe.”

_________

MONTH EIGHT.

Alex would just like to say that when he decided to do this, he did not realize how much work it would be. He thought that setting up this nursery for the Yorkes’ would be easy- but turns out, as he often does, Alex overestimated his abilities.

He’s got the whole weekend to do this, since the Yorkes’ are in L.A. right now, visiting Chase’s mother. As long as he’s dedicated, he can get this done.

Alex looks over his notes again, making sure he’s got the right colours picked out before he pays for them. He’s at the paint store right now, coughing up eighty bucks so Gert can have the colours she wants. The paint is the one thing they haven’t bought yet, and since neither of them even know he’s doing this, it’s not like they can give him the money. Maybe that’s his own fault, for being so obsessed with keeping this a secret- they just think he’s house-sitting.

When Chase told him how much it was stressing him out, not having the room done, the idea formed in Alex’s brain to do it for them. They had mostly everything bought, and already had a plan for where everything was going to go, so all Alex needs to do is make their ideas a reality. Too bad he never realized how much effort it would take.

Oh, well, he thinks to himself as he spreads the painting sheet across the floor of the soon-to-be nursery. At least it’s better than studying.

Alex starts taping down the baseboards and door frame, singing along to his Christmas playlist as he works. It’s way too early to be listening to Christmas songs, but he absolutely does not care. It’s November 2nd, and Mariah Carey will not be stopped!

Once he’s done taping everything down, he gets started on the first coat of cheery yellow latex paint. Before Chase moved everything out of here to prepare, it was a guest room with earl grey walls. And while that sure is nice for visiting relatives, it’s quite gloomy for a nursery.

Upon (finally) finishing the base coat, Alex stops for lunch, scrounging around for the makings of a decent sandwich. Weirdly, instead of the usual suspects, the fridge is full of quite honestly the weirdest amalgamation of food that Alex has ever seen. Pickles, mustard, Brie cheese, mango juice- who eats like this?

Oh, wait. A pregnant woman, that’s who. Alex is full on stupid, Jesus Christ. Who thought it would be a good idea for him to attend medical school, again?

Well, him. But that’s besides the point.

Eventually, he finds enough normal toppings for a decent sandwich, eating it while checking his phone. As expected, Victor has left him about a dozen messages. Mostly just dumb little things, to remind Alex that he’s thinking of him.

Alex knows that all their friends think they’re dating. They’re not, because Victor totally doesn’t like him that way, but they are the bestest friends ever known to man. Even if everytime Victor calls him ‘bud’ his heart breaks into tiny little pieces.

He finishes eating/wallowing, then starts assembling furniture as he waits for the paint to dry. Turns out he and IKEA need to go to relationship counselling, because the Swedes do not like him right now.

The cradle, rocking chair, and dresser, all a golden honey shade, take him about three and a half hours, which is just the right amount of time for the first coat of paint to dry fully. He does the second coat, now listening to one of the audio tapes he took of his anatomy lecture, because he’s bad at memorization and maybe if he listens to it enough times, he might just graduate with a passing grade.

Around nine, he finally finishes the second coat. Exhausted, he collapses on the floor, shutting off the recording and curling up on the painting sheet, using his balled up hoodie as a pillow. He’s probably going to regret sleeping like this in the morning, but, for now, he’s too tired to care.

__________

Oh, yup, that was a total mistake.

He wakes up around eight, stretching with a pained groan. He feels like every muscle in his body is screaming, which makes him extremely, extremely glad that he won’t be the only one around today. Victor said he would stop by at 10AM to help with moving the furniture and making the room presentable, which means that Alex has to shower, lest he smell so bad that Victor decides to leave before even walking through the front door.

By the time the doorbell rings, Alex is showered and smelling of Gert’s peach scented body-wash. Or maybe it’s Chase’s- there were a lot of fancy looking bottles in that shower.

He opens the door with a wide grin on his face. “Hey!”

“Hi!” Victor says as he steps inside, giving him one of his trademark sunny smiles. Even though it’s freezing outside, the warmth of it makes his cheeks heat up.

Victor drops his bag and holds out a hand for the start of their patented best friend handshake. It’s a series of high fives, hand motions, and shouting that nearly always ends in the two of them cracking up. This time, though, Alex is close enough that he can lean into him as he giggles. ‘Weak from laughter’ is a decent excuse, right? Right???

They calm down, eventually, but they don’t pull apart, instead silently wrapping each other in a lax hug. Victor is taller than him, has always been taller than him, so it’s easy for Alex to press his face into his shoulder, breathing him in. He smells minty, and a little smoky, as he always does. Not cigarette smoke, though- more like the spark of faulty wiring in a computer. (Do not ask how Alex knows what that smells like. He has no wish to relive the memory of setting off the fire alarm in their apartment building in the middle of January today.)

Victor pulls back from him, giving him a hearty slap on the back. “Glad to see you, man. Now, let’s get that room set up!”

The first thing they do is take the painting sheet and throw it in the wash, along with the clothes he’d been wearing while painting. Victor does that weird mocking/chastising combo of his when he finds out Alex slept on the floor last night, and makes him take and Advil for the back pain, because he’s nothing if not a mother hen.

After they’ve put the dirty things in the wash and they’ve vacuumed the carpet, they start hefting the furniture into place. The dresser goes first, because it’s the heaviest. Next comes the cradle, and then the rocking chair.

Once everything is in its place, they move onto the fun part: decorating.

When Gert described this room to him, she was very, very, very specific. It was clear that she’d thought about it a lot, and if it wasn’t exactly the way she wanted it then she wouldn’t like it at all. So when he and Victor hang the pastel purple curtains, they’re precise. When he puts on the mattress cover and tucks in the blanket, he’s exact. And the quilt he hangs over the rocking chair is folded immaculately, if he does say so himself.

And then he turns around, and sees that Victor is trying to make a tower out of the trinkets he’d been told to arrange on the dresser. “Dude, what the fuck are you doing?”

Victor shrugs. “I dunno. I got bored?”

Alex rolls his eyes. “Then start putting baby clothes away? That’s the last thing on the list, bro.”

“Oh, please tell me you have a checklist. Is it on a clipboard? I bet it’s on a clipboard.”

Alex doesn’t say anything, pointedly avoiding looking at the clipboard on the windowsill as he drags the bag of baby clothes over to the dresser. “I...don’t.”

“That sounded fake,” he says, starting to fold the pint sized onesies.

“Are you calling me a liar, Mancha?”

“Well,” he says, laying the first few onesies in the drawer, “I certainly ain’t calling you a truther.”

Alex wrinkles his nose at him. “Fine. Yes, I have a clipboard, because they’re efficient, and they help me remember things.”

“Nerd.”

“Yeah, but you’re the one who’s friends with me, so. Also, being a nerd is going to make me a shit ton of money one day, so you might as well stick around.”

Victor huffs a laugh, giving him a soft grin. “Yeah. Guess I should.”

~~~~~

When Gert finally walks through the front door after a long day of baby prep with Janet and Chase, the house feels...different. She doesn’t know what it is, at first, and, tired as she is, decides to let it come to her. She kicks off her boots and heads upstairs, wanting a nap, but pauses when she passes what’s supposed to be their empty soon-to-be nursery, because, well, it doesn’t seem to be very empty.

The door is closed, but the voices inside are clearly Alex and Victor, arguing over...a lamp?

She pushes the door open, and…”Holy fuck. Holy fuck, did you two do all this?”

Alex nods, grinning proudly. “Yep!”

The nursery is...perfect. Beyond perfect, actually. It’s exactly how she wanted it, right down to the paint colour and the bunny lamp on the dresser.

Gert makes a slow loop around the room, surveying everything with a careful, albeit teary, eye. Once she reaches Alex, she sniffles, then moves to wrap her friend in a hug. “It’s- it’s amazing. I love it so much, seriously.”

Alex pats her back, squeezing as gently as he can. “I’m so glad, Gertie. Where’s Chase?”

“Bringing in the bags.” She shifts in his arms to look at Victor, saying, “Well? Get in here, loser!”

Victor snorts, then wraps his arms around the both of them in a group hug for the ages.

They stay like that for a while, until Chase enters the room and disrupts the balance. He drops the bag he was holding, surveying the room with awe, then zeroes in on their embrace.

He grins, wide as anything, then bounds to join them, wrapping all three of them in his arms and shouting, “BEAR HUG!”

__________

MONTH NINE.

At what point does a baby shower become a rager? Because Gert feels like it might be on its way to becoming a rager.

Not a real rager, mind you. But there are so many people here, it’s genuinely insane. There’s the original Scooby Gang, Gert’s parents, Janet, Chase’s aunt, uncle, and their one, two, three kids. Lulu and Charlie are fifteen, now, and Bash is eleven, and even though Gert has literally been here to watch them get older, her cousin-in-laws (?) being teenagers/preteens now is still such a shock. Like, Gert remembers when Bash was an infant, and now he’s nearly as tall as her??? Wild.

The shower/party/whatever the fuck is in full swing, with everyone talking and laughing and munching on the finger food her and Chase spent all day preparing. They’re been planning this party for  weeks, now, because if everyone is going to fly in from all corners of America, then they’ve earned an awesome party. It’s only fair, really.

It’s awesome, and she’s loving it...but if she doesn’t get a break soon, she might just crack.

To prevent a meltdown, Gert heads to the living room, expecting to find an empty space to hang out in for a bit. All the adults, plus Lulu, who Thinks she’s an adult, are in there, and last she saw him, Bash was lid under the dining table, playing on his DS.

But she forgot about Charlie, who’s lying across the couch like he owns the place as he reads a comic book. Gert waddles (yes, waddles. She’s a week and a half out from her due date, okay? Fuck you) over to him, swatting in his general direction to get him to move. He retracts his legs, tucking his socked feet under her thigh as soon as she sits back down.

When he doesn’t look up from his book, Gert flicks him on the shin. “Say hello, you big meanie.”

Charlie looks up from his comic book to give her a deadpan look. “I said hello when we walked in.”

Gert raises an eyebrow at him, but he just goes back to his book, so Gert snatches it from him, looking it over. “You know, you don’t see these around much these days.”

Charlie gapes at her. “Give that back!”

“No.”

Charlie makes a frustrated noise. “Give it back, or I’ll-”

“What? Fight a pregnant woman? Yeah, right.” Charlie groans, and Gert tosses it back to him out of pity. “Fine, fine- oh, oof.”

Charlie blinks at her in concern. “What’s wrong?”

Gert gives him a strained smile. “Baby’s kicking- they’re a real soccer player. Wanna feel?”

Charlie hesitates, then nods, cautiously reaching out. Gert takes his hand and places it on her stomach, right where the baby is kicking.

“...Wow,” he says, “That’s...awesome. Like, super weird, but awesome.”

“I know, right-”

“Hey, why are you guys out here?” Lulu’s voice calls as she enters the living room, hands on her hips and a suspicious expression on her painted face. “Wait, are we doing gifts, now? Lee, if you gave her our gift without me I am literally going to slaughter you.”

“Now, now,” Aunt Sarah says, coming up behind her and putting her hands on her daughter’s slight shoulders. “No need for that.”

“We haven’t started on gifts, Lulu,” Gert says, disappointed to see that Charlie has now escaped to the very edge of the couch, as if he’s trying to get as far away from his sister as possible. “But if you go and get everyone, we can get started.”

“Okay!” Lulu says, rushing out of the room. As soon as she does so, Charlie relaxes, and her and Aunt Sarah share a look.

Gert reaches over to pat his knee. “You don’t have to be so scared of her, you know. she’s only your sister.”

“I’m not scared...she’s just so loud.”

Gert snorts. “Well, if you don’t like noise, this party certainly isn’t the place for you.”

Charlie rolls his eyes. “As if I’d miss this, Gertie.”

Gert grins, and is about to respond when everyone starts to file in, still chatting. Bash brings up the tail-end of the group, mid argument with his father about the DS in his hands. By the time he’s sat down, it’s shoved into his pocket, but he doesn’t look very happy about it.

Everyone finds a place to sit around the room as the chatter dies down, and by the end of the shuffling and bickering over seats, she’s got Chase on one side of her on the middle cushion, and Lulu on the other, perched on the arm of the couch. She’s bouncing up and down in excitement, so Gert decides to open the gift from her and the rest of their extended family first.

She rips off the wrapping and opens the box, to find…”Holy shit, is this a dinosaur onesie?”

Lulu nods excitedly, and Gert holds out a hand for a high five, stretching to do the same to Charlie. “Awesome!”

Chase takes the box from her, looking at the onesie lovingly before folding it back up. Alex’s gift is next- a crocheted Pokemon mobile that’s like, the cutest thing she’s ever seen. This is totally replacing the generic one they got at Ikea.

Next is Karolina, who hands her the gift bag tentatively. As Gert opens it, she says, “Since you guys don’t know what gender the baby will be, yet, I thought green would be nice. And I thought it was really soft, at the store, so…”

The gift is a plush green dog, that rattles when she shakes it. It’s gorgeous, and the perfect size for the baby. Gert gives Karolina her widest smile. “I love it, thank you.”

Chase takes it from her, immediately shaking it, because he’s actually two years old. “Oh my God, Chase, stop playing with the baby toy.”

“Come on, it’s fun,” Chase says, but puts the toy to the side anyway, seemingly to get rid of the temptation.

Next is Nico, who presents them with a long slim gift box. Gert unwraps it in a rush, excited to see why Nico is grinning so widely.

She flips the top off the box, and…”You got...our infant child...a sword?”

“Well, um,” Nico blusters, red as a tomato, “I thought it would be- I thought it would be cool decor…”

“Nico,” Chase says, disbelieving. “They’re an infant. You got our unborn infant a sword.”

“To be fair,” Victor says, “It is a cool sword.”

Gert, who had been trying very hard not to laugh since she opened the box, finally cracks, peals of laughter erupting from her. She leans heavily against Chase, who’s also cracking up, and soon the whole room is filled with laughter.

Bash, who’d been previously playing on his DS despite his father’s warnings, looks up, screwing his face up when his eyes land on Gert. “Ewww, you laughed so hard you peed?”

“What?” Gert says, and suddenly nobody is laughing. “Oh my God. Oh my God,” her eyes are wholly focused on her pants, which are, yes, soaked. Was she really laughing so hard that she didn’t notice? “I think my water just broke.”

~~~~~

The drive to the hospital is probably the most stressful of Chase’s life. Everyone argued about who would go in which car, and who would call in, and Lulu and Charlie went on a frantic search for the bag Gert had packed for this exact event, because it somehow went missing in the time between when she packed it last week and today. Eventually they all pile into three sets of cars- Janet, Gert, and Chase in the first, Chase in the backseat with his wife helping her stay calm, Nico, Karolina, Victor, and Alex in the next, and finally the Yorkes and the Steins in Uncle Elwin’s minivan.

It turns out that his mother has been moonlighting as a racecar driver during her spare time, because they get there ten minutes before anyone else. Gert and Chase are immediately rushed into the delivery room, and from there, Chase doesn’t remember much- just a shit ton of screaming, a lot of him trying his best to keep Gert calm, somehow getting a few of his fingers broken from her squeezing his hand too hard- and then the wails of an infant seeing the world for the first time ever. Their...their daughter!!! They have a DAUGHTER!!!

The nurse carefully takes their screaming daughter to the basin to wipe her down, and, God, Chase’s hands are shaking. He looks over at Gert, face sweaty and tears running down her cheeks. Whispering, he says, “We have a daughter.”

Gert giggles, a little hysterical. “Yeah! Yeah, we do!”

~~~~~

It’s 2:14 in the morning, and Gert is holding her infant daughter for the first time ever. Chase’s arms around the both of them, a hand behind their daughter’s neck to support her head. Gosh, she’s so little, but so, so, so beautiful- how is it possible for her to be this beautiful?”

“I dunno, but you’re right,” Chase murmurs, and it occurs to her that she just said that out loud. “So, have we come to an agreement about the name?”

Gert snorts, stroking their daughter’s cheek with her index finger. “No closer than we were when we decided to ‘leave it for later’ yesterday night.”

Chase sighs. “I knew this procrastination would come back to bite us sometime.”

Gert hums, and for a moment, neither of them say anything; until Chase cuts through the silence with, “Hey...how about Joan?”

Gert grins. It’s a perfect name, for their perfect little girl. “I- I love it. Joan it is, then.”

Chase laughs wetly. “Joan it is. Can I- can I hold her?”

“Oh my God,” Gert says, still sniffly, “Do you even have to ask?”

Chase shrugs a little, then takes their daughter- Joan- from her gingerly.

“Hi, Joan,” he says softly, rocking her gently back and forth. “I’m- I’m your dad. I’m- I’m gonna protect you, okay? I’m gonna keep you safe, and, and nothing’s ever gonna hurt you while I’m around. Alright?”

Joan yawns back at him, and they both laugh a little. Gert leans against him a bit more to reach out and stroke her cheek again. “We should give her a silly middle name. All kids should have a silly middle name.”

Chase nods, grinning. “Okay. Yeah, okay. What do you have in mind?”

Joey yawns again, and it’s the most perfect yawn to ever be yawned, Gert can assure you. “How about...how about Miracle?”

Chase laughs a little. “Okay. Okay, yeah, I like that.” He holds Joan up, showing her the view from the window. “Joan Miracle Yorkes, meet the world. We are so excited to have you.”