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“I went to visit another school for Rachel today.”
“HOUSE!” Lisa Cuddy sat up in bed, moving out of House’s loose embrace.
“Yeah, I figured with all of the schools I’ve been failing at getting her into, I should try changing up the market a bit.”
He grinned; she grimaced.
“Should I be worried?”
“No, her neshamaleh will be fine.”
“You didn’t?”
“Why not?”
“Why not? Well, for starters, there is the fact that she’s already enrolled in a perfectly good school.”
“One that you yourself admit is your second choice.”
“Which was before your misguided attempt of getting her into my first choice – what you were possibly thinking – no, what was my boss thinking to have you speak to a group of fifth graders, let along what I’m thinking to keep you around Rachel!”
“Oh, come on! Rachel loves me!”
Cuddy reached around to pull a pillow from behind House, only for him to find it flying back at his face.
A muffled “ow!” emerged as he drew her closer.
“Anyway, after all of these stuffy -- humorless, may I add – WASPy schools, I figured you should try out something different.”
“Different? You don’t say,” she scoffed.
“What? I thought you’d be happy to have her somewhere heymish an—“
“You, House, do not get to use Yiddish on me,” Cuddy stated emphatically.
“Oy, a shandeh,” House mocked.
“A shandeh is what it would be to send her to a Jewish day school.”
“Then how do you expect her to learn to have pride in her heritage, to be strong and knowledgeable in her identity?”
“Since when do you care about these things? When have I heard you do anything but mock religion? And don’t even get me started on Rachel’s baby-naming!”
“What, you mean the ritual that unbelieving, non-practicing you with the shiksa mother insisted on having?”
“Yes, that,” Cuddy said, continuing, suddenly quieter. “I don’t know. Maybe I do regret not having more of a Jewish education. When we weren’t in a haze of smoke, my youth group did teach us something, but I didn’t have the opportunity of being in a school where that sort of culture was everywhere. ”
House leaned back triumphantly. “See, I knew you’d thank me!”
“I don’t think I’m ready for this, though. It’s not really what I want for her.”
“Well, why don’t you start small, share with her little things here that you can do together. She loves to play with clay. You can make one of those mezuzah things to keep all of the creepy crawlies out of her room so she will stay in her room and we can have sex all night without having those warning bells clanging on the doorknob all night.”
“Hm, a mezuzah,” pondered Cuddy as she shifted the blankets. “Not a bad idea. Even if it was yours.”
