Work Text:
Chan really loved being an idol, he really did. He loved the dancing, the singing, getting to show off his talents with his equally talented (minho scoffed) members. But somETHing was really draining his patient, someone had it out from him. Someone wanted him to die slowly, slowly at a ripe age of just 21. Karma was out for him and she was not messing around. She was the green being, red evil evil eyes glARIng at him.
Jyp leader man came in the room ‘’ahh there you are, Chan, come here, i need to discuss something with you’’
Ahhh yess karma defo had a grudge against him.
Chan walked smartly to him, pretty good compared to his brain which was currently shouting noooooo at jyp while dragging feet and generally behaving like a childish child (inspiration from grumpy minho (mannn that kid can hold a grudge)
Now don't get Chan wrong. He’s a great leader (so modest), always doing what's best for his members, generally cheerful and knows what needs to be done and EXECUTES it perfectly. He’s the perfect leader, sees troubled water, sees embarrassing situation, awkward moments and diffuses it like that.
But jyp was seriously seriously trying his patience. Chan had just had enough.
Chan walked tiredly to the dance practise room. Jyp had listed him with a bunch of stuff that apparently was ‘urgent’ and needed to be done ‘straight away’. Tbh, Chan couldn’t see the fuss. He rolled his eyes in frustration and huffed out a little breath. Walking in the dance room, he was met with all his members, milling around, some dancing, some resting, some doing…….....god knows what - a battle of death through naughts and crosses??
‘Woww look who finally decided to join us - shouted Hyunjin - looking up from the ground where he was currently resting.’
‘We missed you! I’m going to cry now … EUUAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH’
Chan gave a small smile and a slight chuckle - ‘how are you guys, training’s going ok?’
‘It’s going fine’, Seungmin putting his hands on his hips teasingly, ‘no thanks to you Mr person who didn’t bother to show up’, ‘where were you?!!’
‘Lay it off guys, i was with jyp, he asked me to sort something out for our next stage performance’
‘Sure, sure that’s what they all say’ teased Felix, smile going up, twinkling, as he stopped dancing to gaze at Chan.
Chan sighed before walking to the middle of the room, ‘Alright everyone up, let’s get a bit more practice until the dance teacher shows up’.
All the members clambered into the van, eager to get home after a long day of practice. They were all tired, eyes drooping, hands clinging on anything to stop them from falling apart. Felix and Changbin were in the backseat, already asleep, resting their heads on one another. Next to them Seungmin was leaning back, headphones in. A faint sound could be heard coming out of them. The other members were all in various stages of sleep.
In the front seats were YoungK and Chan. They weren’t asleep yet. Chan rubbed his eyes. He couldn’t get some of the moves correct, having missed half of the lesson and the dance teacher was angry at him.
Suddenly, YoungK grabbed his hand.
‘Hey are you ok’, he slowly rubbed his thumb on Chan's hand.
‘You did fine today, i know you messed up but you tried your best and that’s the main thing’
YoungK smiled at Chan and turned his head to look at him ‘ You did alright, never ever doubt yourself, cause you are amazing’
Chan did a small smile. As they stepped out of the car to go to the dorm, Chan linked arms with YoungK
‘’Thanks materino!!! You’re the best’’
YoungK smiled to himself. What a weirdo.
Chan was tossing and turning in his bed, unable to sleep. His mattress was too soft, blankets too muddled. He felt too hot and irritable. His back hurted from old, old age and his legs had to urge to streeeeetch. It was really really bothering him.
A scowl was on his face as he dealt with the problems. His forehead furrowed with a pout on his lips, unintentionally making him look less of an menace, a strong machine fighting and kicking his problems and more like a kicked puppy.
His mind was racing a 500 miles an hour and he couldn't keep up with everything. His mind kept on playing the conversation he had with JYP.
You need to work better. Your group needs to get better. You absolutely need to do better.I allowed you to debut. Please replay that kindness with actually trying. You need to do better. It’s urgent that you do that or i'm not sure how you can carry on.
Chan rubbed his eyes tiredly, eyes sad and low.
He often feels the pressure of being the leader. He was only young after all and to suddenly feel like he needs to take care of all the other members was sometimes hard. He loved his members so so much and he wanted the absolute best for them. That was the biggest problem. It would be so so easy if he didn’t care for them. Just half-ass everything and done and dusted. He cared so so much. He would often feel an ache in his chest looking at the members, couldn't breath, just this fondness, like his chest and stomach was slightly filled with air, something not of this physical world. His heart squeezing slightly.
He thought over to each of the members.
Jeongin with his cute smile and lovely attitude. He didn't know how he could have this sunny smiley presence just radiate from him. Doesn't that take just a massive amount of power and energy and Jeongin is just giving it away like that?! Wow just wow. Chan had to smile to himself.
And what about Hyunjin. Chan rolled over in bed thinking about him, such a lot of talent in one person and oh god how hard working. All of them are hard-working, is it worth it? The endless practice and tiredness, oh god i’m so so tied, please i just want to sleep please let me sleep.
Chan’s mind started to wander again, speeding up and up and up. Mind getting cluttered with thoughts and worries, collisions being avoided and crashed together. Oh god head is too crowded there’s too much stuff, i cant’ breathe i can’t breathe i can’t breathe.
I’m so so scared, please someone help me help me im scared im scared im scared
Chan fought himself to take a deep breathe, in out. Breathe.
His mind started to YoungK. YoungK always calmed him down. He just emitted this aura. Maybe because he was older? Or maybe that’s just how YoungK is. Chan always felt calm and protected with him. Chan’s heartbeat slowed down and his thoughts become more controlled. He was desperately trying not to think again, he knew he would go out of control again. His mind cast back to a memory of him and YoungK.
YoungK was a rock, a calming presence. A lighthouse in the raging wind. Oh just thinking about that lighthouse brought flutterbyies in Chan’s heart. The different waves crashing again and again, blue, green, indigo, cobalt, a hint of spinach. And yet the lighthouse stayed strong and unmoving, guiding the light. How he wish he was with the lighthouse, safe and sound, tasting the salt air, in front of the fire, warmth. Not on the boat in the ocean, frantically paddling, paddling, not tasting the salt air but choking on it, drowning, suffocating.
‘I need to see YoungK now now’
Chan got up slowly, carefully. Darkness littering the room making a mess in his eyesight. He stepped slowly and carefully around the bed, brush past the drawer, open the creaky door, shut the still creaky door. Forgot his pillow. Back again, open, shut, brUShing and carefullyyy maneuver the hell out of the bed.
35 minutes later (incident with bed sheet … don't ask) he was standing outside YoungK room.
Chan open the door and peeked through, spilling light into the room, painting the wall opposite the door.
He hurriedly went in and shut the door. Blackness now.
He bounces on the balls of his feet, nervous energy spiking as he waits for his eyes to adjust to the darkness.
He could hear snoring.
Once his eyes did the thing, his heart melted.
YoungK was lying there, looking so so peaceful and at rest. How he wished that could be him. His cheek was smushed into the pillow just looking so so soft and his hair was sprayed everywhere, like the sun stray light, spreading in every direction.
Chan took a step to the bed, then another and another until he was right beside the bed. And the carefully, as carefully as he could (thank god it wasn't a springy mattress) climbed over YoungK to lie next to him, in the small gap between him and the wall
YoungK had the blanket wrapped tightly around him, like a cocoon, like a burrito, like a ... tightly rolled sleeping bag (you get my drift)
Chan ever ever so carefully tried to tug it off him so they can share it together. Nothing. He janked it even harder. Still nothing. The blanket seemed to go tighter around YoungK's body as if it was taunting him, saying haha you can't get in, freEZE.
Chan scowled, toes curling inward, hugging YoungK as best as he could from outside the blanket. It was going to be a collld night but at least Chan wasn't along, finding peace in his mind.
He put his arm around YoungK's waist, face smushed in his neck when he heard it, a small almost invisible giggle.
Chan’s eyes widened. He pulled back only to hit YoungK on the shoulder, a slight blush of embarrassment.
'Hey what the hell, dude, you’re awake, dude I'm freezing, how could you do that'
YoungK turned around smile on his face, the leftover from the giggle
'Hello Chan, welcome to my humble estate, please do come in'
And he lifted his blanket, inviting Chan to come closer into the warmth, closer to YoungK's body.
'When did yo-.. '
When you opened the door, I think the light woke me up'
'Oh no sorry YoungK' Chan looked remorseful, slight guilt on his face.
'I don't mind, I just want to know, why are you here, are you okay?'
YoungK hugged Chan as he said that, making them both feel so warm and so cosy.
Chan could feel his eyes drooping and he went even closer to YoungK, legs tangled together, arms around each other
'Just mind stuff' he slurred, falling asleep 'I couldn't get my mind to shut up, I was scared, I don't know why, just so scared'
Chan died down and fell asleep, finally getting the rest he so desperately needed.
YoungK smiled, gazing across from Chan, faces close. He stroked Chan’s hair a few times before also closing his eyes and going to sleep.
Chan woke up to the sound of movement.
Well that gave him a shock. That type of shock, so quick and so high but it’s over in seconds. That shock that just gives you a bolt of energy. It’s a feeling when you’re walking down the street and BAMm did I forget m-, oh wait it’s in my pocket. That type of shock.
Chan opened his eyes, heart beating loudly, hand on chest trying to calm it.
And what did his eyes meet when he opened them to the sunny light? Hold up, light? We had training! Another shock, at this rate, he will need to have a trained doctor next to him at all times to give him CPR when he inevitably has a stroke.
And off Chan was on the thoughts train. Well that’s it, my privacy lost, better learn to wee in front of people, that stupid doctor. Oh man will I have time to train for that dance and teach the kids. What would jyp say?! Oh stupid jyp, I'll just shove my doctor in his face.
Chan was indeed in a tangent. Still lying down, staring right in front of him at the boards of the bunk bed, eyes glazed over.
Chan automatically grabbed something to tether him to reality. That something happened to be YoungK's T-shirt. He wasn't complaining.
YoungK was watching all of Chan with a fondness that matched the very sun that was trailing in.
Woojin woke up to the heavy weight that was Chan holding on to him, arm acting as a seatbelt across him. It was YoungK who decided to move up to a seating position so he could read a book while still be with Chan, and it was YoungK who saw Chan’s electric shock reaction, eyes burst open.
YoungK laughed. That was pretty funny
YoungK was so content and warm. Sure he was getting a bit sweaty and stinky but Chan’s head was in his lap, hand clutching his T-shirt and YoungK's hand stroking his hair so yes despite the warmth, he was unbelievably happy.
But YoungK could tell that it would soon end. He could hear the outside noises that were his bandmates getting louder and he knew that something or more specifically someone (probs Seungmin) will make an extra special loud noise.
‘AAAAAHHHHHHHH THATS MY ORANGEEE’
Yep there it was, that special sound, that special special alarm clock. Wow, how YoungK loved loved that special morning ritual, he thought with clenched teeth.
Chan awoke from his daydream thoughts, which probably for the best as he was going to get into a frenzy at the speed that he was going.
‘What was that sound’ - Chan looked at YoungK, t-shirt rumpled and the sleep still stuck in his voice.
YoungK smiled at Chan’s voice and pulled him in a quick hug before letting go, remembering Chan’s emotions from last night.
A smile, a blush, that chest feeling.
‘Oh just the kids as usual fighting again. I think this time it was Minho screaming about an orange or something’
‘ ohh sounds fun’
……
…...
‘We better get out’
‘Yeahhh’
And off they went with a skip and a trot, holding hands and giggling, the suspicious fresh air blowing in the sky. An utopia, the heavens. Birds were singing along and in the background was a lovely melody singing just for Chan and YoungK.
Right, lets translate that to normal human word: Chan and YoungK got out of bed. Chan yawned, YoungK scratched his head. They got to the door (Chan tripped over a sock) and was met with the song of :
‘shhhh shut up, YoungK and Chan are still asleep’
‘ohh look who decided to say that mr imma sing at the top of my lungs’
‘hey that was yesterd-’
‘ -quit trying to steal my my orange ’
‘ heyyy i had it fir-’
‘-ways bringing stuff up months after it happened’
And the icing on top of the cake.
‘GUYS THEY’RE STILL SLEEPING, SHUT THE HELL UP’
Chan and YoungK went into the room.
‘As Felix said, we WERE asleep, shut the hell up’
Suddenly the room exploded with even more noise and chaos was once again in issue.
The arguments weren’t very interesting so i won't write down the conversation but this is a brief summary.
Minho and Seungmin were arguing to each other about that damm orange while somehow also complaining to Chan and YoungK about it.
Hyunin was doing an excellent job in stopping Minho and Seungmin from arguing by basically standing between them, pointing viciously while shouting ‘YOU’RE WRONG, YOU’RE WRONG’ swinging violently pointing from one to the other.
Chanbin was for whatever reason doing aegyo, doing what he does best, being sickeningly cute. Felix was of course being the best wingman, doing finger guns at Changbin going EYYYYYYYYYYY.
Jeongin was doing what seemed to be intensely and almost rebelliously hitting a pillow with his head…….. Yeah i dont know either.
And Jisung? .. He was eating cereals on the couch, listening to music. …. Well at least someone was quiet.
I wish i could say that this was an unusually loud day in the dorm, but that would be a lie.
Sorry.
Chan rubbed his head. His headache went from bad to very bad. He could feel it pulsing and he suddenly felt as if he hasn't slept for weeks. He just wants to relax and not do anything. As leader that was not possible. He wanted to sleep, just sleep and not think about anything. Oh why were they so noisy.
YoungK saw Chan’s mood change. YoungK was enjoying the ‘argument’ and noise, thinking it was best if the kids just let it out of their system before trying to get them to calm down but then he happened to glance over at Chan.
Chan was very clearly stressed. Teeth clenched and a scrunched up forehead. He was obviously not having the best time of his life. He looked sad like he had no energy left and it looked like he was just about to drop onto the ground and create a blanket out of thin air to drape around himself.
‘Right, that’s enough’ commanded YoungK ‘All of you be quiet’
Silence fell across the room. Mid freeze. Made a nice photo, almost renaissance in nature.
‘Jisung, Jisung, come here’
He looked up from his mouthful of cereals, headphones still on, oblivious to the outside noise.
‘Come here’ - he did the hand motion thing, getting Jisung to get his lazy butt up from the sofa or so help me.
Jisung got up and stood next to YoungK
‘Ok everyone’ - he kissed Jisung’s cheek before turning him so he was facing the crowd - ‘This is your new leader for the day. I want you to all listen to him and take notice or you will have me to answer to’
YoungK looked at Jisung for confirmation to see if it was alright with him. Jisung looked slightly confused but solid nevertheless and YoungK knew that he could count on him.
He faced his bandmates again.
‘Me and Chan are going out. Behave’ - and with a pointed finger at all of them, he linked arms with Chan and pulled him to the kitchen to eat breakfast/lunch so they could go out for the day.
After the quick ass breakfast which involved Chan mumbling half the time what the hell is happening and how he didnt sign up for this, and the i have so much work to do, stop kidnapping me. While YoungK just solidly ate his breakfast, chewing, chewing, chewing.
They were finally ready. YoungK linked arms with Chan to stop him from escaping and dragged him to the front door to put on his shoes.
‘We’re off, see ya guys ; they shouted. A chorus of ‘see ya … bye… don’t get killed’ arrived back.
The place already seemed quieter. Good old Jisung, he must’ve put the telly on.
Off they went into the outdoor world.
They were walking outside, tightly bundled up against the cold winter weather. The darkness illuminated by the streetlights. They were still linked by the arms, and using this, Chan brought them even closer, stealing warmth from YoungK.
‘Its so cold, wow im freezing’
‘Ahahha suck it up, ill keep you warm’
…..
‘Where are we going?’ - the nth time in the walk.
‘You’ll see- - also the nth time.
Finally they came up to this cozy looking building, which YoungK guided Chan in through the door. When Chan went in, he was amazed. The door opened up to this room so prettily existing that he couldn’t believe it was real. It was a warm brown, orange, yellow colour that emits warmth and fend off the cold from outside. There were no harsh artificial looking lights, instead the lights were placed in such a way that they seemed to invite Chan in, further in the room. On the ceiling was a painted galaxy, with glitter and glow in the dark stars, a nice contrast to the walls.
YoungK gave Chan a quick hug from behind.
‘It’s very pretty, isn’t it?’ ..‘come, i’ve got the key’.
They went through the side door and was met with a spiraling staircase and a door to the left. Chan looked up, expecting to go up the stairs, something he wasn’t really looking forward to but instead they went through the little door to the left.
‘Oh thank god’
‘huh?’
Once there, they were met with a very dark room. The walls were blue and glittery. They went down a narrow corridor. To the right of them were rows and rows of doors, the number lit up with a small light.
YoungK started rambling ‘ so we have room number 8, it’s a pretty solid number, a cool number, i mean my fav number is 9 but this’ll do as well. What’s your favorite num- oh yeah i remember you said - 61.
Chan was amazed at that: ‘how on earth did you remember that my lucky number is 61, that’s amazing’
‘I just remembered, idk…. Oh this is slightly freaky this corridor, oh look here we are.’
‘Our room?.’
They came to door 8. YoungK took out the key that he got and went to open the door.
‘I thought this would be a good idea for you to take a break, i found it online, apparently teenagers and workers use it a lot to escape the business of their lives and homes’ YoungK rambled, nervous in his voice all of a sudden.
Chan giggled and nudged him: ‘let's go in’
They opened the door. It was a small room, cozy and warm. The entire ground was filled with pillows and blankets scattered around to create a comfortable vibe. The walls were painted yellow and on one of the walls was a tv with a small dvd player underneath it. Hanging from a hook was what looked like to be a folder of some kind.
‘Wow look at this, it’s so cozyy, aw, this is so sweet’
‘Look, we can watch movies or you can go to sleep, i just thought it would be a good way for you to de-stress away from everyone.’ YoungK was very defensive, almost if he expected Chan to hate the idea.
Chan took hold of YoungK's hand. Chan felt touched that YoungK would actively search up stuff to help. That he actively cared and actively helped him. He felt so emotional. His eyes remembering his past tears as if to say, we can come back up if you want, just sound the bell, boss.
‘YoungK, This is wonderful, i love it, thank you. You have no idea how much i needed this’
YoungK smiled. He was pleased that his idea was a success.
He went to the door, hand on the handle.
‘Well i’ll let you relax in peace’ he finally said fidgeting from one leg to another, body language reading that he as ready to leave at any moment.
‘What?!’ Chan frowned ‘no you can’t leave me, come here, i want you next to me’
YoungK's smile revved up and he bounded next to Chan who had buried himself underneath the blanket. He sat down next to Chan, Chan putting his hand over his shoulder and cuddling him close.
‘Thank you for this, YoungK, you’re amazing’.
‘So it was a good idea?’
He giggled - ‘yeah it was a good idea’
They relaxed under the blankets and snuggle against each other, putting a film on and finally having the well deserved rest they need.
THE END