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It was cold that Christmas Eve, but the sky was clear and showed no signs of snow. As Ray walked the city park's foot path with Zack by her side, she turned her face to the night sky, scanning for clouds. No such luck.
This wasn't their first Christmas together; it wasn't even their second or third. They didn't really do much to celebrate – maybe buying a fruitcake or hot cocoa if they had the money, going out to see Christmas lights in the rich neighborhoods if they didn't. Zack never seemed to mind, so those little things were really only for Ray. Still, he did them without complaint. But truth be told, she wished they could have Christmas together like a normal family, with a tree, presents, and a big dinner.
Zack wasn't religious and had never really had anyone to celebrate with, as far as Ray knew. But her family had at least put up a tree and she had seen Christmas movies on TV. Even if her own Christmases with her family were awful, she had an inkling of what they could be. Now that it was just the two of them, and had been for years, it wasn't wrong or odd for her to want to celebrate with him, was it?
The things she wanted to do, she knew Zack wouldn't approve. Things like putting up a tree or stockings would be too chintzy and impractical when they were usually on the move. Drinking hot cocoa and cuddling under a blanket might be too forward. He'd probably throw up if she tried to get him to sing carols. So Ray would have to be satisfied with just viewing the Christmas lights again this year.
The path they'd taken this year was through one of the city's public parks. Even as run down and beat up as the city they currently haunted was, they did like to put on a show for the public from time to time. So the park and city center were strung with lights, trees, and an outdoor ice skating rink. Ray figured they could have spent the tax money a little better, but if she had to choose, she'd rather have twinkly lights than more cops on their trail.
Another difference this Christmas was that they actually had money for once. A few days ago, they had happened upon a couple of purse snatchers that had gotten themselves a nice payday. Those sorts of things did tend to happen more around the holidays, so it wasn't exactly odd to find a couple of thugs carrying stolen goods. After Zack had cut them up and Ray had gone through their possessions, they took a cut of the money and at Ray's insistence secretly returned the rest in its purse to the address on the driver's license in the wallet. In any case, it meant Zack and Ray would have at least some kind of merry Christmas.
“Wanna grab some food?” Zack rasped as they emerged from the park's light trail. Ray met his eyes, her attention shifting from the dark, cloudless sky. The city center surrounding the park contained some nicer restaurants, but they both knew that just a few streets over were a few greasy spoons and buffets that they could easily afford and still have enough for a hotel that night. Besides which, most of the nice places would be closing soon; the less ritzy places might stay open all night.
“Yes,” Ray nodded. “Let's go someplace less crowded.” The crowds weren't that bad at the moment, but the fewer people to get a good look at them, the better. Ray was nondescript enough to go unnoticed, in her red letterman jacket, but Zack stood out as much as he ever did. It wasn't as much of a problem in wintertime, though, when he could hide in his big, green fur-lined coat. Neither one of them were too comfortable with any extra scrutiny, though.
They made their way down a side street and into the next street back from the city center. There were a few chain restaurants lining the block; most of them were in the process of cleaning up to let their employees go home early for Christmas Eve. There were still plenty of people on the street, though, strolling with loved ones in pairs or groups. Ray watched them with interest while Zack seemed to be pointedly ignoring them. She thought she understood; there were plenty of smiles and laughter all around, and that made Zack jumpy. If they stuck around the crowds much longer, he'd probably be struck with the urge to lash out. To help prevent that, Ray tugged his sleeve and urged him onward. They didn't want any undue attention and besides, it was Christmas; killing random civilians on the holidays would make her sad.
They continued walking, crossing another street towards where they knew the cheaper restaurants would be. A few streets past there were a couple of cheap hotels that they had staked out before. If they were lucky, they'd be staying in one of those rooms tonight; if they were extra lucky, there might not even be bedbugs this time.
Ray itched just thinking about that. It was a good thing they didn't have too many belongings.
Finally, they had found the street with the cheap food before Zack managed to get himself into a fight. There were take-out places without dining rooms, a burger stand shaped like a triangle with picnic tables out front, and a cheap Chinese buffet.
“I think that's our best bet,” Ray said, steering Zack towards the buffet. The sign out front read “$7.99/plate"; even if the food was bad, the price couldn't be beat. As they drew closer, the sign in the window was an even better deal.
“Christmas Eve special – families eat half-price!”
“Ah,” Ray breathed as she read it. That was perfect; both of them could eat for the price of one person. They could fill up and then have an extra eight dollars for snacks or bandages or clothes.
“What’s it say?” Zack asked. Ray had tried over the years, but he still wasn't terribly great at reading. Most of the time he simply preferred to have her read things out loud to him to save time.
“The buffet is seven ninety-nine,” Ray pointed as she read. “They're having a special for Christmas Eve where families eat half-price.” Zack smiled, probably for the first time that evening, and slung his arm around Ray's shoulder. As he barked a rough laugh, Ray hoped she wasn't blushing. Oh well; her nose was probably already red from the cold anyway.
“Perfect!” he proclaimed with glee, “We can eat half-off!” Ray was just about to protest when he began leading them towards the door. Just because they were each other's family, probably in the strangest sense of the word, didn't mean that the rest of society would view it that way. Still, Ray lifted a hand and covered the one that Zack was currently using to squeeze her shoulder. That was probably as much affection as Ray could reasonably expect from the man for Christmas, at least without dealing with some vomit.
He shoved the door open with a jingle, the string of bells swinging from the motion. The inside of the restaurant was much bigger than the two plate glass windows outside would have suggested. It was a bit poorly lit, but Ray could see rows of booth seats full of families enjoying their holiday meal. The middle of the restaurant was better lit, the heated buffet tables being the center of attention. With as often as they went hungry, those rows and rows of hot Chinese food and cold salads and sweet desserts might as well have been heaven.
Before she even realized it, Zack had her standing before the old Chinese lady at the cash register. The woman had a grandmotherly vibe that Ray found kind of charming. As the woman sized the two of them up, she gave them a welcoming smile.
“Two for the buffet?” she asked with barely a hint of an accent.
“Yeah!” Zack eagerly replied, his earlier sullenness forgotten. “We're here for the family discount!” The old lady appraised him, raising an eyebrow in an expression of clear doubt. Ray wanted to sigh; she knew what was coming.
“Is she your sister?”
“Uh, no?” Zack cocked his head to the side, clearly confused.
“Your wife?”
Zack seemed dumbstruck at the question. Ray knew she had to step in before he spoke.
“Yes,” she answered, squeezing his bandaged hand to let him know to control himself. “I'm his wife. And we're expecting.” To demonstrate, Ray laid a hand across her midsection. The bulky coat did a good job of obscuring her actual size, so it looked entirely plausible for her to be newly pregnant.
The old lady's skeptical expression melted into barely restrained joy. Ray gave her a poor half-smile in return; she still wasn't great at smiling. And she'd never admit it to Zack, but she had no real intention of improving anytime soon.
“You know, we're only supposed to give it to families with children,” the old lady lowered her voice, giving them a nod of approval. “But I'd say that's close enough. Congratulations, dear.”
“Thank you,” Ray replied politely. She could tell by the way he was squeezing her shoulder that Zack was less than happy with her, though.
“Go ahead and find a seat,” she waved them on. “Your waitress will take your drink order once you're seated.”
“C'mon, Mrs. Foster,” Zack grumbled. Ray gave him a pleading look, but he was already scanning the restaurant. Without another word, he began stalking in the direction of the nearest empty booth. When they stepped in front of the table, he released her with a jerk of his hand and flopped down. Ray sighed, her eyelids sliding down to cover her eyes. She knew exactly what she'd done, but she wasn't really sure the trouble it would cause was worth the extra eight dollars.
“Zack,” she said evenly, moving into her side of the booth across from him. He briefly acknowledged her with a flick of his eyes; then he went right back to sulking, staring vaguely at the family seated at the table across from them. Ray briefly glanced at them before returning her gaze to Zack; it was a family with two parents and three kids, the oldest looking to be a boy of no older than thirteen. He seemed to have noticed Zack, as well.
“You didn't have to lie,” he grunted. Ray stared openly at him; she felt guilty for lying because she knew Zack hated it, but at the same time…
Well, she couldn't say it was a lie she hated exactly.
“It saved us a little money,” she offered sheepishly. He snorted; it didn't seem like he'd accepted the excuse.
“Like my morals ain't worth more than eight bucks,” he scoffed. It stung, but she understood.
“Zack…”
“You made me a liar, too, Ray.”
The hurt in his voice was evident. Ray was about to correct him when he stood from the table to stalk over to the buffet, pushing past their waitress on the way.
“A-ah,” Ray acknowledged her. “Please excuse him. He's having a bad night.” The waitress gave her a tired smile and asked for their drink orders anyway. Ray ordered their sodas, thanked the waitress, and then got up to get her own plate.
When Ray returned with a plate of egg rolls, fried rice, and broccoli beef, Zack was already eating and their sodas had been delivered. As he stabbed a piece of breaded chicken with his chopsticks – which he hadn't bothered to pull apart – and dipped it in sweet and sour sauce, Ray slid into his side of the booth beside him.
“Zack.” He ate the piece of chicken whole and for a moment, Ray thought he might break the chopsticks with his teeth.
“What?” he barked around the mouthful of chicken. She gently took his chopsticks as he chewed and split them apart for him, then handed them back. He took them without comment.
“I'm sorry,” she said quietly. “I apologize.” Zack grunted, then stabbed another piece of chicken with a single chopstick, dunked it in the unnaturally orange sauce, and began to chew it. Ray knew he was debating on whether to forgive her or not; she picked up an egg roll and took a bite while she waited. Finally, he swallowed and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Look, Ray,” he said, staring at his plate. “It's not just that you lied.” As she took another bite of her egg roll, Ray watched Zack curiously. Was he upset about having been dragged out to the light show? She knew he didn't really enjoy it much, so maybe he was already irritated at her.
“Did you not have a nice time tonight?” She felt the guilt pile on.
“It's--! It's not that!” His eyes flicked over to her, the one golden one flashing in the dim restaurant lighting. Why did it feel like he was blushing underneath his bandages?
“Then what…?” Was there something else she might have done to set him off? Ray couldn't think of anything. Her eyebrows pinched together in confusion.
“It's that… it's… it's that it's somethin' that's not possible for us,” he grumbled, turning his intense gaze towards his hands. Ray felt a pang in her chest; it didn't feel like a rejection, though. It felt more like Zack being pessimistic.
“Why do you think that?” she asked, covering his left hand with hers. With his other hand, Zack went back to poking at his chicken with a single chopstick. He found an acceptable piece and popped it into his mouth.
“Well, It's not like we can just waltz into the courthouse and get married,” he muttered as he chewed. Ray went back to her egg roll, trying to ignore her heart thumping in her ears. She took a bite and swallowed before continuing. Had he given this thought before?
“That's just a piece of paper – people have been getting married since long before there were courthouses. Besides, it isn't like we'll ever be apart again,” she said thoughtfully, idly rubbing her thumb over his left hand. “After all, we'll be together until I die…”
“I know that,” he grumbled before slamming a drink of his soda. He didn't like being reminded of that for some reason.
“And that's almost the same as being married,” she reasoned.
“That's not remotely the same!” Zack squawked, almost choking on his drink. “What kinda nutjob would get married to a guy that promised to kill them?!” As he wiped his mouth on his sleeve, Ray pushed the fried rice around on her plate and considered her point.
“Well, what do married couples do?” she asked him, facing her plate. Zack ate another piece of chicken as he considered the question.
“Well, I guess they do stuff together…”
“Hmm.”
“Live together…”
“Mmhmm.”
“Eat together…”
“Ahh.”
“Sleep beside each other…”
“I see.”
Ray looked at Zack to see if he was starting to get it. His eyebrows were pinched together. Yes, he had figured it out.
“…those are all things we do, aren't they.”
“Yes, they are,” she answered before scooping some fried rice into her mouth. Of course, she was leaving out one of the biggest things married couples might do, but it was probably better to wait for Zack to bring that up on his own. Besides which, the middle of a Chinese buffet on Christmas Eve wasn't the best place to discuss the birds and the bees with someone as loud as Zack.
“Hey, Ray,” he said slowly, his eyes drifting over to meet hers. “Married couples… they're supposed to lo--"
Zack was interrupted by a voice coming from the table on the other side of the aisle. The teenaged boy was scoffing loudly in their direction, making sure they were able to hear.
“How did a mummy like that get such a cute girlfriend?” the kid complained to no one in particular. “Gross!” Ray turned to see he was looking squarely at them, too. His mother shushed him, but it was already too late; Zack had already locked eyes with the little punk in a direct challenge.
Ray would have to act fast to make sure they didn't get kicked out of the restaurant. She swallowed the misgivings she would otherwise have had; she had thought often over the years of doing something like what she was about to do but had just never quite plucked up the courage.
She lightly set her chopsticks down beside her plate, wiped her lips with a napkin, and turned her back to the snotty teenager across the way to face Zack. He seemed not to be paying her any attention now, completely distracted by the asshole kid, so she placed a hand on either side of his face to force him to look at her. He seemed puzzled at her sudden behavior; Ray was thankful for that, at least. After taking a steadying breath, she let her eyes fall shut and leaned over to kiss him just beside his mouth.
Ray barely heard the loud “eww!” from the kid across the aisle. Her heart was beating too hard in her ears. She had never kissed anyone before, not even on the cheek. If it was going to be anyone, she wanted it to be Zack. They had been together for five and a half years at this point, after all; it was only natural that she would have thought about it, too.
Zack didn't push her away, at least. His lack of reaction was a bit reassuring. Ray was just a bit afraid he would refuse her, though, maybe out of irritation over their earlier argument. As the seconds ticked by, though, the terrible thought struck her that he wasn't responding simply because he wasn't interested. That would be the cruelest end of all to her secret infatuation with him.
But when she pulled away and looked up at him, Ray couldn't exactly read Zack's expression. His eyes had gone dark and intense, almost as though he were angry but restraining himself. Since Ray knew that was out of the question, it had to be something else. He lifted a bandaged hand to her jaw and gripped it with a finger and thumb, tilting her face to keep it in place.
“Ray,” he lowered his voice so that the other patrons couldn't hear him. “Are you pretending again?” To anyone outside their booth, it would probably seem like a husband flirting with his young wife. But Ray knew that the answer to his question could potentially land her in serious trouble. His stare was simply too intense just then, his mismatched eyes simultaneously mesmerizing and frightening.
“It doesn't have to be pretend,” she said quietly, lowering her eyes. He had stared her down and she blinked first. Unlike anyone else who knew who he was, she wasn't afraid of Zack hurting her. Instead, what worried her more was the idea that he might stop wanting to be around her because of this.
“Stupid.”
Ray looked up just in time to see Zack move in on her. This time, rather than a chaste kiss on the cheek, though, he went right for her lips. His skin was warm and his lips soft; in contrast, she could also feel the rough bandages over his chin and above his mouth pressed against her skin. She thought for just a moment that this might be the end of it, just a closed-mouth kiss that would be over in the blink of an eye.
But Isaac Foster never did anything halfway.
Within a few more seconds, Zack's hand was on the back of Ray's head, toying with her hair. His lips had parted, pressing hers to do the same. Ray felt the tip of his tongue probe between her lips and offered him no resistance; he was testing his boundaries with her and so far, she agreed with everything he had done. In fact, Ray found she quite enjoyed it. He tasted of warmth and sweet and sour sauce and it was absolutely everything she could have wanted. Even the nipping of his teeth on her lips was sweet.
Ray was so preoccupied that she didn't even notice that he'd cracked one eye open to look straight at the teenager across from them. Nor did she notice when Zack curled three of the fingers he’d run through her hair, leaving the middle one conspicuously extended.
When he finally pulled away, though, both his eyes were lidded and Zack seemed pretty satisfied with himself. Ray looked at him expectantly, hoping she had been forgiven.
“Stupid,” he scoffed again quietly, releasing her jaw and sliding his other hand down her head to rest on her shoulder.
“What is?” She asked, watching him go back to his plate full of chicken. He speared another one and bit it, with a bit less force this time, before answering.
“You should've said something sooner,” he grumbled. Ray exhaled, a feeling of something approaching relief pouring through her. Although he was still grumpy, it seemed she'd been forgiven for the earlier lie.
“Ah,” she replied, her voice low and sweet, masking that she felt just a bit nervous at the prospect that Zack had not only accepted her feelings, but returned them.
“Am I forgiven, then?”
“I guess,” he begrudged her. “Don't do dumb shit like that again.” His voice was rough and prickly, but the gentle squeeze on her shoulder told Ray that he had calmed down. She huddled closer to Zack's side, grateful that she could be a little bit shameless with her affection now.
“I won't,” she promised. Zack's mouth turned up at the corner as Ray made use of her chopsticks to pick up some beef and broccoli. “Here,” she continued, offering it to him. “Try this.”
“Hell no,” he flinched away. “Get that weird green shit away from me!”
Half an hour later, the pair left their money for the bill on the table and slid from the booth for a final time. They had each had several plates of food, most of which were dessert on Zack's side of the table. Ray had succeeded in at least getting him to eat some non-breaded, non-fried meat, but vegetables were an ongoing struggle. Either way, they were both full and satisfied, and that was a great Christmas Eve in and of itself.
As they stood, Ray noticed that the mother across the way from them seemed to be staring in their direction; judging from her expression, she was less than happy. Ray was fine with ignoring it and turned her back to her, busying herself with helping Zack put his scarf back on. She should've known she wouldn't get that lucky, though.
“Excuse me, miss,” the woman said stiffly, just as they'd taken a few steps away. Ray turned, her expression blank; even without looking at him, she was intensely aware of Zack's attention shifting to the annoying family, too.
“Yes?” she replied, her tone dull.
“Please don't take this the wrong way,” the woman continued, her voice no less rigid, “But you and your boyfriend have been totally inappropriate all evening.”
“Ahh.” Ugh, and dinner had been pretty nice, too. Ray didn't really care for whatever the woman was going to fuss at her for. She simply stood there, listening to her continue to rail about whatever imagined slight they had made against her and her kid, with a dead look on her face.
“Now, I'm not saying I hope someone like you never has children, but I think if you do, you'll understand just why your behavior has been so uncalled for. I think both of you owe my son an apology.”
Honestly, Ray had zoned out about half-way through the weird tangent. But she was still keenly aware of Zack. After a couple more words from the sanctimonious woman, Zack shifted to stand between them, shielding her with an outstretched arm. Ray wrapped her arms around his, hoping he wouldn't do anything too dangerous.
“Zack, don't-"
“That's my fuckin’ wife you're talkin’ to, lady!”
Ray stared openly at him, heat rushing to her face. He was completely focused on the mother at the table in front of him, who had dissolved into indignant gibberish at his outburst.
“A-Ah!” Ray exclaimed, pulling Zack away by the arm before he caused a big enough commotion to get them ejected from the restaurant. “Yeah, sorry, ma'am. Let's go, dear!” Zack allowed her to drag him away, middle fingers both extended defiantly at the woman and her son.
They made their escape smoothly, the old lady winking at them on the way out. As soon as the two were back out in the night air and a safe few paces from the door of the restaurant, Zack pitched his head back towards the sky and cackled.
“Did you see the look on that bitch's face?!” he howled in between laughs. “Thought she was gonna piss herself!” Ray was still just a bit dizzy that not only had he agreed to her suggestion but had taken to it with such gusto.
“I was surprised, too,” she replied, still holding his arm. “I didn't think you'd take it so seriously.” She slid one hand down to take his. Neither one had mittens, but at least he had bandages to retain a little warmth.
“Well, I don't lie,” he said with an inflection that made Ray look away with a smidge of embarrassment. “If you say we're married, then you're my wife.” Ray squeezed his hand, receiving a firm grip in return.
“Then I do,” she replied quietly, leaning against his arm. In one night, they had catapulted from being very close partners to considering themselves married. Even then, nothing had substantially changed about their situation. This wasn't the first time she'd held Zack's hand or leaned against his shoulder. At the very least, the kissing was new, and Ray couldn't object to that.
“You know, though,” he continued, looking up towards the sky and not meeting her eyes, “You still lied about one thing.” Ray blinked slowly as she dissected that statement. Oh. She'd told the old lady two lies. One was unarguably untrue.
“Oh, that,” she said quietly. “I should still apologize for that. I don't think we should make that one come true.” If Zack was going to kill her eventually, it would be irresponsible to leave him with a baby. It was also more than slightly terrifying to think about; the man couldn’t boil water on his own, let alone take care of a child.
“We'll leave that one as a lie,” he agreed, his tone suggesting he had blanched underneath his bandages. Ray looked up at him with a small mischievous smile.
“We could get a puppy, though?” she suggested lightly.
“Not this year,” Zack immediately shut her down. But Ray hadn't expected him to agree.
She looked out at the twinkling street from under her pale lashes, in the direction of the seedy hotel they were aiming for. As they crossed beneath a tungsten orange streetlight, the first snowflakes of the night began to fall. If they were out in the streets for the night, the little white flakes would be bad news. But tonight, they had a warm bed to look forward to for once. The arrival of the little flakes made her heart dance.
“Aww.”
Even without a puppy, Ray thought it would certainly be a merry Christmas this year.