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Blake tapped her fingers on the nightstand absentmindedly. They’d all retreated into different rooms to get some alone time, supposedly so they could think about things. But Blake had done more than enough thinking lately. She traced the elongated grains of the wood with her fingers, focusing on the smoothness of the polished surface and on keeping her mind as blank as possible. It wasn’t working. She stood up and wandered over to the door. Maybe she could hang out with Ruby, or even Weiss, or... Her heartbeat quickened at the thought and she exhaled slowly, trying her best to calm her anxiety.
Blake stepped out of the room and jumped about a foot in the air in surprise.
“Yang?” The word left her like a sigh of relief. But she could still feel her racing heartbeat in her throat and ears, the anxiety bubbling back to the surface in an instant.
“Cat got your tongue?” Despite everything, Yang couldn’t resist teasing her a little. She was leaning against the wall by the bedroom, arms crossed over her chest as usual. “Did I startle you?”
“N-no,” Blake said, cautiously moving to the opposite side of the hallway. “...yes.” She attempted a smile. Yang was talking to her! She couldn’t squander this opportunity.
“Sorry.” A small smile flickered over Yang’s face, vanishing almost as soon as it appeared.
“It’s okay!” Blake replied, speaking awkwardly fast. She cringed internally. Why was it so difficult to have a normal conversation with her? “So...what are you doing out here?”
Yang’s shoulders moved up and back down. “Avoiding people, I guess.” Blake winced. Did that mean she didn’t want to speak to her after all? She opened her mouth to say something, but Yang continued before she could string together anything coherent.
“You’re fine, though. I mean, you can... it’s fine.” She uncrossed her arms and ran a hand through her hair. Blake watched intently as the metallic fingers combed their way through Yang’s thick blonde locks.
“Can you feel that?” She asked before she could think better of it.
Yang paused in surprise and raised her eyebrows. “What?”
“Um, nothing,” Blake said, feeling an intense urge to disappear. She could feel her face heating up as Yang stared at her.
“No, what were you talking about? This?” Yang held up her prosthetic and waved it around.
Blake’s face got even hotter. “Yeah,” she mumbled. “Sorry, I don’t know why I said that. I was just...”
To her surprise, Yang smiled. “Chill out, Blake.” She stepped forward and leaned against the wall beside Blake, holding her arm up between them.
“Atlas prosthetics are pretty cool. This thing may not have any nerves, but it does channel my aura.” She wiggled her fingers and gave Blake a sideways glance. “It’s not quite the same. But I can still feel with it.”
“That’s good.” Blake let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. She hesitantly took Yang’s hand in her own, rubbing her fingers over it. “If it has your aura, then it’s you.” She kissed the palm of Yang’s hand softly. The metal was cold, but she could feel a hint of a familiar warmth that she immediately recognized as Yang’s distinctive life energy.
Yang tensed up, and Blake immediately let go. “Sorry,” she whispered, pulling her hands away. She could swear that Yang’s cheeks turned slightly red as she pulled her own hand back and re-crossed her arms.
“I’m so sorry, Yang,” Blake repeated.
“For what? For not ‘protecting me’?” Yang’s voice took on a harsh edge, and Blake paused. This felt like a trap.
“Sort of.” That felt like a safe answer. Yang didn’t respond, and Blake took the chance to move closer, so that their shoulders were nearly touching. “Adam was from my past, not yours. And the only reason he hurt you was because he knew it would hurt me.” Her voice started to shake. “Everything that happened... it’s all my fault.”
Yang shook her head. “I should’ve been stronger. Maybe then you...” She trailed off and shook her head again.
For a moment, Blake was so taken aback that she lost her speech faculties. “What are you talking about?” She said finally. She turned to face Yang fully and grabbed her shoulders with both hands. “Yang, do you blame yourself for what happened?”
There was no hesitation in Yang’s response. “Yes.”
Blake blinked at her. “I-- what?? That’s crazy, Yang.”
“Well, maybe I am crazy,” Yang said bitterly, shaking Blake’s hands off. “Either way, you can stop apologizing for my arm getting chopped off, okay?” Blake frowned at the harsh language. Yang’s eyes were steady as she stared back at Blake, almost like she was waiting for her to say something specific.
“I...I don’t know what you wan’t me to say.” Blake broke the eye contact to stare at the floor.
Yang chuckled joylessly. “Yeah, I figured.” She stepped around Blake and started down the hall. Blake looked after her uselessly, desperately trying to determine where she’d gone wrong this time. Her fists clenched unconsciously.
“Yang, wait!” She trotted in front of her, blocking her path. “This isn’t fair. I want things to be better between us, but how can I fix it if I don’t know what’s wrong?”
“How...” Yang closed her eyes and took a deep breath. They were red when she opened them again. “How can you not know?!” She yelled. Blake shrank back, her ears flattening against the top of her head. Yang’s eyes faded back to purple.
“You left me, Blake. Just like everyone else before you.” Tears were welling up now. “I’m not angry about my arm. That was my choice, and nothing about it was your fault.” She paused to take a shaky breath. “But waking up in the hospital all alone, with no idea where you went or why? That felt worse than anything he could do to me.”
Blake felt her heart breaking more with every word that she said. She blinked back her own tears and swallowed to try to banish the lump in her throat.
“How could you do that? Did you just not care? I needed--” Yang cut off abruptly and angrily wiped the tears out of her eyes.
Blake moved without thinking. She nearly leapt forward, wrapping her arms around Yang’s shoulders and hugging her tightly. Yang inhaled sharply.
“Hey,” Blake said in her most soothing tone, squeezing her even tighter. “I care. Yang, you have no idea how much I care.” She rubbed her back, trying her best to convey her feelings through physical touch.
“And I know that I ruined everything, but please don’t cut me out. I need you too.”
Excruciatingly slowly, Yang moved her arms around Blake’s waist to return the hug. She buried her face into Blake’s shoulder, somewhat awkwardly because of their height difference.
“You didn’t ruin everything.” Her voice was muffled by Blake’s coat. “And...I’m really, really glad that you’re back.”
“I am too.” I love you. That’s what she wanted to say, but Blake couldn’t get the words out. “Thank you,” she said instead. “Thank you for coming after me that night. And for not giving up on me...even though I’m definitely a lost cause.”
Yang laughed properly at that, and it was probably the most beautiful thing Blake had ever heard.
“You know I take that statement back,” Yang said.
“Yeah, I know,” Blake replied, pulling back to end the hug.
Yang’s grip on her waist tightened. “Wait, can--” She sighed softly. “Could you maybe...hold me for a minute?” Blake could feel Yang’s heartbeat speed up as when she asked the question. Her own heart was pounding so loudly she was sure everyone else in the house could hear it.
“Of course,” she answered immediately, keeping her voice quiet and soothing.
“Thanks.” Yang sounded sheepish. But that didn’t stop her from nuzzling her face back into Blake’s shoulder. Blake wrapped her arms around her neck, cradling her head with one hand.
“I missed you so much.”