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haseul’s one room apartment is the definition of comfortable and cozy. the room is illuminated in orange and red hues, dashes of yellow, keeping the frigid apartment bathed in warmth. it’s a cold day in winter (haseul rarely turns her heat on to save herself the money) but jungeun sinks further and further into the sofa and couldn’t feel any warmer than she does now. this is almost perfect—almost, because the only thing jungeun is missing from this moment is haseul herself.
jungeun turns her head, leaning forward so she can try and take a peak around the corner. she can see the hint of haseul’s back in the kitchenette, sees the way slight wave of chestnut brown hair pulled over her shoulder in a loose ponytail. even though the kitchenette isn’t that far away, jungeun finds their distance to be bothersome. haseul is far away enough that she wants to whine about it. she pushes her lips out in a pout. pay attention to me.
“haseul,” she calls out. haseul doesn’t hear her. the sound of the kettle on the stove begins to whistle, loud enough to mask her voice behind it and leave haseul unaware of a needy girlfriend back on the sofa.
she tries again, a little louder this time. “haseul.”
the kettle goes off the same time jungeun opens her mouth, her lost voice among the noise a second time. jungeun watches as haseul takes the kettle off of the stove, sees her disappear behind the wall for a moment before she comes back in her line of sight. haseul is turned to the side now, opening a cabinet above her head to reach for something.
maybe any other time, jungeun would sit and stare at haseul’s profile unbothered. there’s a lot to be admired—from the way her bangs sit against her forehead, how her eyes narrow as she concentrates on finding something, her little nose, the shape of her lips—everything, really. but now isn’t the time for it.
haseul moves away from the cabinet with whatever she’s looking for and disappears behind the wall. jungeun huffs. fine. so haseul won’t pay attention to her. it’s fine. it’s not like she wants her to that badly. she goes back to lounging on the sofa, bringing a blanket closer around her as she sinks back into the cushions.
she’s dozing off in a blanket burrito when her nose catches a whiff of something sweet—chocolate, maybe, and a little bit of cinnamon? jungeun stirs, blinking away the daze in her eyes.
“i made hot cocoa for us,” haseul sets down two mugs on the coffee table. jungeun’s first instinct is to sit up and reach for her mug—a muted red mug that matches haseul’s pastel forest green—but remembers that haseul had ignored her earlier, and remains still. her hands stay wrapped up in the blankets.
the sofa bends below her as haseul moves to sit beside her. “what’s wrong, baby? drink up before it gets cold.”
“i’m okay,” jungeun mutters, hiding her pout by bringing the blanket up to cover her face.
“strange, you never turn down hot cocoa. what’s wrong?”
“nothing’s wrong.”
jungeun glances in the direction of her mug. it smells delicious, and knowing haseul, the hot cocoa is going to be as good as it looks (how does she do it? hot cocoa is such a simple thing and yet, here she is, doing wonders with it). she notices haseul’s mug hasn’t moved from its spot. even if she isn’t drinking it right now, shouldn’t haseul be enjoying herself?
she finally turns to look at her.
“you’re pouting and moping. as cute as you are like this,” haseul moves closer, hands moving to pry the blanket out of the way of jungeun’s face, “i want to know what’s wrong. did you not want hot cocoa after all?”
“…it’s not that,” jungeun slowly admits.
“then what is it?”
she takes in a breath. where to start… and how to not sound childish? jungeun frowns a little more. “i was trying to get your attention earlier,” she pauses and looks away from the other girl. she’s embarrassed. “but you didn’t hear me.”
“ah.”
“ah?”
“someone was lonely, hm?”
jungeun bites her lip—she hates hearing that word, lonely. it makes her feel childish. it’s not like haseul is ever gone too far or away for too long, it’s not like jungeun basically lives at haseul’s apartment despite having an apartment of her own on the other side of han river, it’s not like haseul ever fails in showing her unconditional love; jungeun feels like a child because she needs things like attention, but hates coming across as needy and clingy. it’s still hard to come to terms with—jungeun doesn’t like seeing clingy couples when she’s in public, but can’t bring it in herself to admit that she’s probably the clingier girlfriend in the relationship.
the sofa shifts as haseul moves closer to her. she manages to get jungeun unraveled from the blanket burrito with ease, opening up enough space to let herself in. she brings the blanket around them and in doing so, pulls jungeun flush against her. wrapping an arm around her waist, she keeps her close. jungeun makes herself comfortable, curling up next to haseul like she’s been wanting to all evening.
“sorry i ignored you earlier.”
“it’s okay. it’s not like you did it on purpose.”
“i just wanted to surprise you with hot cocoa since you love it so much,” haseul nudges her head in the direction of the coffee table. she begins to sit up and reach for their mugs. “they’re gonna get cold if we don’t drink them soon…”
jungeun whines. haseul sits back down.
“okay, okay,” she makes herself useful, leaning one way so that jungeun can continue using her as a pillow. seeing the serene look on jungeun’s face is enough to make up for the numbing sensation in her arm and side. pressing a light kiss to the top of jungeun’s head, haseul lets herself relax.
“i’m not going anywhere.”