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dizzy. jinhwan was very dizzy from all the drinking and happenings last night. flash of cameras, screams of fans. but other than being dizzy, jinhwan was so confused as per he doesn't know why he's in another person's bed right now. he is fully clothed and was sleeping alone inside a small room. he's familiar with this space since he's been here before and it's in the same building where he lives. he tries to recall what happened and why he ended up being there when he heard the door open and jinwoo walk in. he has a cup of whatever that is on his hand but jinhwan didnt bother to ask what it is this time but asked what happened and why is he not home.
as for junhoe, he was broken. broken from what he witnessed on the internet today. he woke up very late since he got a little drunk at the club last night. and what he saw? jinhwan. jinhwan kissing another man. it wasn't JUST jinhwan. it was his boyfriend, kissing a man and not being able to come back home with him and the members last night. he didnt know how to face jinhwan right now. he knows he wasnt the one who did wrong but the reason why he couldnt face jinhwan was not because he hates him, but because hate himself for not hating jinhwan at all after what he did.
-
jinwoo explained all of what happened last night and also told him about the video of the two of them roaming around the internet. last night, junhoe was with hanbin and the others talking to their friends, and jinhwan was left alone with jinwoo since he was the only person he was close with in that party. he remembered the club being too loud, how he was having fun with the older and how they talked about lots of stuff. he watched the video that was uploaded by a fan, and at first look, it really seemed like the two of them are kissing. but he knows they didnt, jinwoo knows he didnt. jinwoo even reminded him that 50% of what jinhwan talked about was junhoe. if he was dizzy when he woke up, right now all he can think about is junhoe. about how junhoe will react once he sees this or how he reacted if he has already seen the video. he bid jinwoo goodbye and sprinted back to their dorm.
the whole dorm was awkwardly silent when jinhwan came home. he saw bobby close his door when he passed by, donghyuk was just inside his room. it was the kind of aura that made him feel guilty of what happened.
he knocked into junhoe's room but there were no answer. he knocked again and tried to call junhoe's phone, there was no answer but he can hear the younger's phone ringing inside his room. he was outside his room for too long and was about to give up when junhoe opened the door for him.
junhoe looked like a mess, but still looked good. jinhwan asked him if he can come in but he refused.
“if you have anything to say, say it now. ive seen enough hyung.” junhoe said while looking straight into jinhwans eyes.
“i-- i know what youve seen or maybe you havent seen it but obviously you did because you're acting mad i did wrong but---”
“is there something to be mad about hyung?” junhoe cut him off.
“its… not what you think..”
jinhwans words were followed by a painful silence.
“junhoe ive seen the video. people are assuming we kissed but we did not.”
“then what was that??? talking? talking with your faces so close to each other??????”
-
junhoe has made up his mind. for the hours jinhwan didnt come to him, he felt everything he could feel. but most of all he felt insecure. if jinhwan didnt mean to do it, he'd hate himself. he kept thinking if he wasnt good enough for jinhwan? its not like they were a couple for a few months only but theyve been together for years. he knew he was overthinking but what if that kiss was an excuse to him saying he is tired of him already? that would be understandable, junhoe thought to himself. id get tired of myself too if it were me.
but what if it wasnt a kiss? the angle was very tricky. it could be just the two of them talking to each other. that thought calmed him down but.. he was still insecure and he wanted to stop himself from feeling it. IT made him come into a firm decision. he thought he wouldnt be mad at jinhwan. he thought he could still accept everything but the insecurity is eating him
-
“we were just talking junhoe pls believe me”
“talking..”
“yes, baby we were just talking. we were even talking about you”
junhoe smirked. he has made a decision. it will hurt him but who cares? he has to do it for himself as well.
“did you came up with that aliby for hours thats why you didnt come home? did you think id believe that? you didnt even come home, did you get fucked by jinwoo hyung? you mustve liked it but when you woke up and your conscience was eating you up and made you remember you have a boyfriend waiting for you downstairs so you decided you were just gonna lie him and tell him nothing happened” junhoe thought it was dumb. he even thought he is going crazy but he thinks hes right about what hes doing.
jinhwan stood there. shocked about the words that came out of junhoe. he is very confused right now. this isnt the junhoe he knows.
“go fuck with jinwoo hyung again. dont come near me. you're disgusting.”
“junh--” there, junhoe shut the door in front of him.
jinhwan went straight to his room. when bobby and donghyuk asked him about what just happened he just brushed them off and told them not to bother him for the day. he keeps thinking why junhoe doubted him that much that made him come to this decision. he knows he hasnt explained his side that much but junhoe doesnt look like he's interested. jinhwan even made jinwoo talk to junhoe but junhoe didnt believe him either.
-
its been two weeks since that incident, jinhwan noticed junhoe being more and more silent.
when jinhwan got the chance to talk to junhoe, he grabbed that chance. he dragged junhoe into his room and started explaining what really happened. for a second junhoe looked convinced.
“i know what happened. really. but i'm breaking up with you. you explaining everything i already know wont change my mind”
jinhwan was literally mind fucked. junhoe left him and went straight back into his room and locked his door. jinhwan was left there standing. he felt like his world just shattered without any specific reason.