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Genji isn’t sure how long he’s been at the base. He loses track of time more often than he’d like to admit. The first recall message had been sent out at some time ago, at the peak of summer, and now the weather was more mellow. A few trees already turning from green to various shades of orange and red, and short showers of rain getting more common.
And it’s in one of those light rain showers he’s standing when the message ticks in:
McCree is joining us.
It’s short and precise, from a number he doesn’t recognize, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters as he reads it, again and again, as if he’s not sure if he really believes it.
There had been some talk about McCree, about Jesse , right when he and Zenyatta had arrived at the base. Lena and Winston had, with hushed voices, discussed if it would be wise to contact him. Genji didn’t blame them. Jesse had a bounty on him, he’d been involved in things he shouldn’t have been, and was generally not good for publicity.
But oh how Genji had ached to see him, the mere mention of his name giving him the pleasant feeling of butterflies in his stomach. The light flutter of joy when he woke up in the morning, the feeling of excitement with the prospect of seeing Jesse again after all this time.
But at some point it had changed, as if he’d broken through a barrier inside his own head. It had made everything come rushing back. The bitterness. The inadequacy. The pain.
The rosy coloured memory of how things had been between him and Jesse slowly getting muddled, old conversations between them playing on repeat inside his head.
He had left all those years ago.
They’d been getting closer, he had finally let someone in. Let Jesse in. And it had all been to much. Genji had felt like he wasn’t all he could be. Not good enough, not well enough, not whole enough. And he had tried to tell Jesse, to make him understand. But Jesse wouldn’t listen, too stubborn to understand that he needed space.
So he’d left, and Jesse hadn’t stopped him. The objections he’d expected never came, the tears he’d expected never came. Not even the anger he’d expected came. And it had hurt, like a knife slowly sinking into his chest, so unbearable he hadn’t been able to breathe.
The monastery had been his savior, and he’d hid there, forgetting about the world outside and also it would seem, forgetting his past.
Genji wonders now if Jesse even wants to talk to him? Does he even care anymore?
He feels the writhing worms in the pit of his stomach, the ones keeping him awake at night, as he studies the message.
Jesse is joining them, and he’s not ready.
~~
Jesse had wanted to go to the base sooner.
He’s tired. Worn out.
Endless hours spent traveling between locations, trying to make his former team come together now when the world needed them.
He'd taken it upon himself to help out, figuring that since he couldn't join them, he might as well do that. Contribute and help. It hadn’t been his own decision to stay away but a mutual agreement between him and Winston. Lena hadn’t agreed, but understood the reasoning.
The reunions had not all been pleasant. Some of his team were not happy to be found, not by Jesse, who had slipped out in the dark of the night, right before it all had come crashing down. But Jesse had taken it all in stride, his head held high. He took all their hurt, their confusion, and their anger. And he'd been ready to take Genji's too. Except Genji wasn’t there, at the temple. He'd left the week before, with his master, they'd told him.
Jesse had tried to hide his disappointment, gritted his teeth and tipped his hat with a smile on his lips, but he could tell from the look on the monk's face that it didn't quite reach his eyes.
He’d missed Genji terribly. Had never stopped missing him since he left, jaw set and eyes stern, telling Jesse without words that this was a decision he could not sway him from. So he hadn’t tried. He’d kept his mouth shut, accepted that the person he loved the most needed to leave. Needed to go on without him. But it had hurt like nothing else he’d ever tried, forming a black pit in his stomach that had never gone away. But there had been no point on dwelling on it, Genji was on his own path and Jesse doubted he’d ever have the chance to see him if he was already on base.
So he'd carried on, swallowed his pain, and sought out Reinhardt and Mercy in Europe. And it was them who had eventually convinced him to join after all. Mentions of having a purpose in life, something to fight for and believe in. And he couldn’t say no, not to them. And still there was also the prospect of seeing Genji.
~~
Genji knows the minute Jesse is on base, almost instinctively. An odd calm settles over the entire building, not so much because of Jesse, but because his arrival means that everyone is here. At least everyone who wants to be.
He tries to stay away, wants to give Jesse the space he might need. But in the end he can’t, slowly making his way towards the quarters he knows Jesse are staying at.
Genji isn’t sure what time it is, doesn’t feel like it matters anymore. All he can think about it he wants to see Jesse, wants to feel his lips on his mouth, hear the sound of his voice in his ear.
Wants Jesse to lay him down and get to know his body all over again.
The worms squirm in his stomach, but he ignores it best as he can as he sneaks past the kitchen where the light is on. He’s about to turn down the hallway as he hears the door open behind him, light flooding into the otherwise empty hallway.
“Genji”
His whole body tingles at the sound of his name, the drawl of Jesse’s voice unmistakable. He wants to turn around, to look at him properly, but he’s frozen in place. He can hear Jesse taking a step closer.
“I know we didn’t part on the best of terms,” he says, a hint of insecurity in his voice, “but I hope you don’t mind me saying I’ve missed you terribly since you left and, uh -”
“Jesse,” he finally manages, turning around slowly, every word he’d wanted to say dying on his lips as he sees him. He looks worn out, clothes and skin dirty from his travels. His arm noticeably missing, the metal replacement shining in the light.
Genji thinks he must have made a wounded sound in the back of his throat, because suddenly Jesse is a lot closer, crowding him up against the wall. He hesitates for just a second before catching Genji’s mouth in a hard kiss.
And Genji feels all the years between them melt away, all the hurt and the tears and the anger. He feels Jesse pouring everything he’s got into him, a silent apology given with his hands as they run up his sides, across the panels of his chests, up along his neck and his chin. And he knows they need to talk, need to sort out the mess that they were, but for now he’s happy with pulling Jesse closer, breaking the kiss to whisper in his ear.
“I missed you too.”