Chapter Text
April curled into Andy, thinking hard. She’d been thinking about it for a while now, and it was starting to get to her. She didn’t like things getting to her. They’d have to talk it out, she decided quickly.
She twisted her neck to look up at Andy, but he was engrossed in the TV. She twisted her body instead, giving him a solid elbow in the ribs as she sat up. That produced an involuntary ‘uh!’, but nothing more. So she snaked her hand up his back and stroked his neck, fixing him with a pained expression. In the end she had to physically turn his head towards her.
“Oh, hey babe. Is something wrong?” Andy asked, frowning at April’s pout before turning back to the screen.
“No,” she replied automatically. And unconvincingly.
“Well you look kinda sad,” Andy told the TV. April picked up the remote and switched it off without taking her eyes off her husband. He shifted position to face her. She stared at him. He waited. She gulped, nervously, but without shifting a single muscle in her face. He raised his eyebrows and leaned further and further forwards as the silence extended.
“I kinda miss my boyfriend’s gay boyfriend.” She said it quickly, and firmly, and barely blinked as she continued to stare Andy out. Andy tilted his head slightly, and frowned again. April’s breath came a little quicker.
“Huh?” Andy asked.
“I kinda miss my boyfriend’s gay boyfriend,” April repeated. It didn’t seem to help. Andy still looked confused. April just shrugged.
“Really?” Andy asked, as if April had told him some interesting item of trivia, “To be honest, babes, I sorta thought they were dicks, really...”
“No...” April groaned, frustrated with him, even though she knew he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t seem to notice though, so she figured it didn’t really matter. “I don’t miss them, I don’t miss my boyfriend, I just miss that he had a boyfriend...” The sentence trailed off unexpectedly, when she realised she had already finished making her point. She waited.
“Ahah...” Andy said eventually, and April worried he was trying to sound smart, which probably meant he hadn’t got it. But he continued to ‘hm...’ and ‘ah...’ and make serious, nodding faces, so she gave him a minute to figure it out.
“You... wish I was gay?” Andy tried.
“No.”
“You... think I should get a boyfriend?” he tried again. April hesitated.
“No...”
“Uh...” Andy scratched the sweaty hair on his head and looked around the room, as if there might be a clue somewhere in the apartment. April sighed and grabbed the front of his t shirt. She tugged on it a little to bring his eyes back to her.
“Andy, I... I love you, and you rock, and... and we are amazing...” It was Andy staring at her now, all worried and confused. April looked down at his jeans as she spoke, feeling slightly less guilty than if she were looking into his eyes. “I really like... I really love being with you. I just... Sometimes I wish there was someone else.”
There was silence for a moment. April looked up.
“Someone instead of me?” Andy asked.
“No!” April said seriously, and reached up to stroke Andy’s face.
“Someone else... as well as me?” Andy said quietly, not moving as April ran her fingers over his stubble.
“Yeah!” April said excitedly, but Andy still looked worried, so she put her arms around his neck and kissed him, a little desperately, until she felt his hands move to her back and hold her there. She pulled away, just far enough to look him in the eye.
“I love you,” she said firmly.
“But you don’t love me that much...”
“No!”
“...’cause you don’t wanna just love me you wanna love some other guy.” He looked somewhere between angry and heartbroken.
“No! Andy, no.” April held his head and addressed him clearly. “I don’t wanna love some other guy, I just love you. You’re my husband. I promise,” she added. Andy dipped his head and frowned again.
“Are we just talking about making out?
“No... Well not just that...” April fumbled. Andy’s eyes widened.
“Sex?!” he half-whispered.
“No!” April moaned. “Well, yeah, but...” She was struggling, either to explain or to figure out what it was she was trying to explain. “I dunno, Andy... Sometimes I wanna make out with a guy ‘cause he’s hot or ‘cause I’m bored or whatever...” She thought Andy was probably with her up to there. The next bit she didn’t really understand herself. “But sometimes I wanna do other stuff. Not sex,” she said quickly, seeing the look on Andy’s face, “but the other stuff. Stuff we do. Like this.” April glanced around their apartment, and shrugged, keeping her arms around Andy’s neck.
“You wanna sit and watch TV with other guys?” Andy asked incredulously. April bit her lip. She had tried. He just didn’t get it. If he didn’t understand then it couldn’t bother him, she figured, so it must be alright. She nodded.
“And have sex. And make out.”
“Okay,” Andy said.
“Yeah?” April asked, her lips curling tentatively into a smile.
“Yeah. But you have to tell me if you do anything cool!” April grinned, pulling him into a kiss as response. He kissed her back properly this time, and pushed her backwards onto the couch. She grabbed at him and kissed him hard and kept her eyes closed all night. By the morning, April had forgotten all about feeling guilty.