Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Dude, come on .”

“No way, Jonas. I’m not going.”

The completely exasperated noise that leaves Jonas then can only be translated to mean one thing - ‘ why the hell not, Isak’. They’ve been friends for so long, Jonas doesn’t even have to say it out loud.

“Quit rolling your eyes at me, dude.”

Isak absolutely does not sputter. “What! How did you even- we’re talking on the phone! You can’t even see me!”

Isak can hear Jonas snort on the other end of the phone conversation before he continues on his bargaining - not even bothering to answer Isak’s question.

“It’ll be fun, dude! Come on, don’t make me go by myself!”

“The only reason you even want me to go is because Eva bailed on you and you want a wingman.”

There is silence on the line for a moment and when Jonas speaks again, Isak can hear the sincerity in his voice.

“We both need this, dude. Life’s been kind of shit for both of us recently. A night out, just us bros, away from our parents and the Nissen crowd will do us both some good.”

Jonas has a point, Isak has to admit. Life has been rather shitty lately. As if on cue, Isak hears the raised voices of his parents start downstairs. Isak has stopped trying to guess what they were fighting about ages ago - in the end it didn’t matter what the fight was about. He just learned to tune it out as much as possible and to escape to Jonas’ if it got too bad - which was frequent. Isak’s been spending more and more time at Jonas’ place lately that it’s become more of his home than his parents house. And while playing fifa and smoking with his best friend could always calm him down and let him forget for a while, Isak did have to admit that a night out sounded nice.

Isak tries to hide his flinch when he hears something shatter - a plate or mug probably - and he takes a deep breath in order to control his voice for when he speaks next.

“Fine. I’m on my way to yours. We can pregame at yours if you want or we can just go straight there.”

Isak can practically see Jonas punch the air in success for getting him to agree and once again he rolls his eyes at his friend - who doesn’t call him out on it this time.

“You won’t regret this, dude. I’ve heard Bakka parties are insane !”

—————————————————————

Yeah, insane is definitely the right word to describe what's happening around them.

Isak and Jonas had showed up to the house of whichever Bakka student was hosting with a few beers each already setting well in their systems and a few cans in a bag left to have while they were here. Isak was sure they would be stopped on the way in the house and have to explain how they were invited - but no one seemed to give a shit about them or even look twice at them.

The house is pretty big and there’s a pretty decent yard out back that’s illuminated by string lights in the tree branches over head. The music is being pumped out through speakers - one in every room. There’s also people everywhere. Isak’s pretty sure that the entire population of Nissen has nothing on the amount of people crammed together at this party. And for every person there is what seems to be about ten crushed and abandoned beer cans and bottles scattered about. There’s even a group of people in the corner of the living room smoking weed - not even trying to be discreet about it.

Overwhelmed. Isak is definitely overwhelmed.

Jonas, on the other hand, seems to be feeding off the energy surrounding them and is practically buzzing himself. He downs the last of his beer in his hand and just tosses the can over his shoulder, letting it clatter to the ground to join the hundreds of others. He leans close to Isak then and speak-shouts in his ear.

“I’m going to go find the bathroom - got to piss! I’ll come find you in a bit!”

Before Isak can even think to respond, Jonas is disappearing into the crowd. It takes a few shaky, deep breaths to calm himself down. Having Jonas that close and speaking directly into his ear… he’s working on it, okay? It’s not like he’s in love with his best friend - at least, not anymore. He had forced himself to get over his stupid crush back when Jonas and Eva had broken it off for good. But it really hasn’t been that long and it’s just taking a little time, okay? But he knows that Jonas is straight and is never going to look at Isak like that and that’s perfectly fine by him - he just sometimes has to remind himself of that is all. Old habits die hard.

Without really thinking about it, Isak downs the last of his can with the hopes of that being the last bit needed to shake the nerves off. He contemplates following Jonas and everyone else’s lead and just tossing his empty can to the ground for approximately .4 seconds before he decides to fight through the crowd to find the kitchen and a trash can. Sure, he can be plenty messy himself - don’t ever get his dad started about his room - but something just feels wrong about adding his one can to the masses already on the floor.

It takes some time and some skilled maneuvering but Isak finally stumbles his way into the kitchen. Unlike the rest of the house, this room is relatively empty. Besides the couple making out on the counter to his left, Isak is the only one here. It doesn’t take long to find the trash can seeing as it’s literally just a mountain of empty cans and bottles and what seems to be about seventeen pizza boxes heaped on top of the very overfilled trash can.

Isak isn’t sure what exactly possesses him to search for more trash bags and then begin to chip away at the mountain and tie off several bags, but by the time he’s gotten three bags full and set aside, he hears the kitchen door open from behind him. He assumes it’s the couple who left to go find a room upstairs - their making out has been getting more and more intense, if the noises are anything to go off of. He is completely startled when someone walks up next to him and grabs the half full bag from his hands and begins to clear off the counter in front of them.

Isak looks up after a moment and feels like all the air in the room gets trapped in his throat. The boy standing just a few inches from him is tall and lean with the softest blond hair Isak has ever seen. He’s wearing just normal jeans and a green hoodie with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows and Isak doesn’t understand how something so ordinary can look so stunning. Isak is completely frozen - couldn’t move if he wanted to. The boy doesn’t say anything. No greeting, no questions about what the hell Isak is doing at a party and cleaning up trash in the kitchen by himself - nothing. He just silently works next to Isak until the bag he had taken from Isak is full - throwing him smiles over his shoulder every few seconds.

The beautiful boy ties the bag off and places it next to the others Isak has already done and then straightens back up and looks Isak directly in the eye. He’s not sure if the gasp comes from his own mouth or from the boy in front of him, but Isak thinks it’s probably more likely to have come from his own. It would seem that he has lost all ability to function like a normal human being. Isak usually shys away when someone holds eye contact with him for longer than a couple of seconds but this - this doesn’t feel uncomfortable. He’s not really sure what it does feel like - but it’s definitely not uncomfortable.

Just as he thinks the other boy is about to say something, they’re interrupted by the kitchen door bursting open. Isak completely jumps out of his own skin, which is embarrassing, but the other boy just calmly moves his stare from Isak to the intruder when he speak-shouts over the music.

“Dude, come on! They’re playing our song! You know the rules.”

The boy lets out a deep chuckle and Isak is pretty sure it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard. Still completely frozen in place, Isak watches as the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen follows his supposed friend out of the kitchen. Right before he leaves, the boy stops and glances back at Isak over his shoulder. The smile he gives Isak is one thing, but the fucking wink that turns the smile into a smirk is enough to make Isak’s cheeks heat instantly.

It takes a full sixty seconds after the door shuts again for Isak to come back to his senses. He realizes then that he’s standing in the middle of some strangers kitchen, cleaning up trash. He can’t believe he is so fucking stupid and embarrassing. He grabs another beer - not really sure if it’s one he brought himself - and makes his way out of the kitchen to go find Jonas.

—————————————————————

Jonas, the fucker, is nowhere to be found.

Isak shoots him a text, asking where the hell he went, but it remains unread and Isak is starting to feel hopeless that he’ll hear from his best friend anytime soon. Jonas had probably found some girl to hook up with after he went to piss. That fact that Isak is leaning up against a wall in the living room sulking and nursing his beer has absolutely nothing to do with his stupid crush that he’s working on getting over - but rather the fact that Jonas had invited him to this party to hang out “as bros” and now he’s completely abandoned Isak at a party where he literally doesn’t know anyone.

At least his spot on the wall is a prime location to people watch. If he has to bear this party alone for the foreseeable future, at least he can study those around him. The fact that everyone around him pays him no mind and ignores him, almost like he’s invisible, makes his chosen activity that much easier. He feels comfortable to openly stare and judge those around the room while he continues to nurse his beer.

There are several couples hooking up in the living room. Two separate couples on the couch, some along the edges of the room against the walls, a few on the makeshift dance floor in the middle of the room-

Isak stops dead in his tracks even though he wasn’t actually moving.

Him. The beautiful boy from the kitchen. He’s so tall that he towers over the rest of the people dancing in the middle of the room. If Isak thought he was beautiful while collecting trash - the stranger is absolutely captivating as he spins around and dances. Isak barely registers a few other boys dancing around and with the tall boy and how they all seem to be laughing together but he can’t seem to tear his eyes away from him .

Isak has been practically invisible all night. That mixed with the liquid courage of his several beers, he allows himself to soak in all he can from this boy. Isak’s eyes travel down his body as he dances around in the middle of the crowd. Objectively speaking, this boy is a terrible dancer. He’s all limbs and is more just thrashing about, but Isak’s brain decides to fuck objectivity and settles on the fact that he’s the best thing Isak has ever seen. His torso and his hips seem to have absolutely zero communication with each other - like they’re on different frequencies or something. The music in here is way too loud so he can’t hear it, but he can see the boy laughing as he continues to jump about and it does something to Isak's chest.

Isak lets his gaze naturally travel upward, slowly moving from the boys hips to his torso and continuing up until it - stops. Isak stops. He should be terrified - feel ashamed for being caught in his stare. But the icy blue eyes staring back at him have the opposite effect.

In reality, the two are standing as far apart as possible and there are what seem to be like hundreds of people around and in between them. This moment shouldn’t feel… intimate. It shouldn’t feel like this boy and Isak are the only ones here. It shouldn’t feel like everything inside of Isak is coming to life - like he’s waking up after being asleep his whole life.

But Isak does - he feels all of these things.

The song changes and the boy doesn’t stop dancing - not embarrassed at all by his continuously ridiculous dance moves. The only thing that’s changed from the last song to this one is the connection the two have seemed to create. Isak doesn’t even know this guys name for crying out loud - but also he feels like that doesn’t really matter. He doesn’t need to know his name in order to know that he likes being looked at - Isak likes being seen.

Isak isn’t sure how long they stay like that - separated by space but connected at the same time. At the end of the song - the second, third, or tenth for all he knows - the connection shifts. He isn’t sure when the boy had started to make his way across the living room, but he’s now halfway to where Isak is standing on the other side of the room and Isak’s brain finally wakes up and jumps into action.

He’s coming over. He’s walking towards Isak right now while he continues to hold Isak’s stare with his own. The room feels like it’s getting warmer with every step this boy takes, every inch of space that he crosses. Isak’s palms are sweating - when did that start tohappen? His mouth is dry and his heart is racing. He wishes he could find a way to press pause - stop this boy from coming any closer - but at the same time he wishes he could press fast forward - make the space between them disappear even faster.

“Isak!”

He blinks. Once. Twice. The music is gone, when did it stop playing? All he can hear is the chatter from the people around them and then suddenly he realizes the connection is gone - lost in a mess of dark curls and thick eyebrows standing directly in front of him.

“Jonas. You’re standing right in front of me, you don’t have to shout.”

Jonas looks annoyed.

“I’ve been standing next to you for two minutes trying to get your attention. Did you smoke or something?”

Isak definitely feels the rush of a high - just not one caused by weed.

“Anyway,” Jonas continues without even letting Isak answer. “We need to get out of here. Cops just showed up. If we’re quick we can sneak out the back.”

Again, before Isak can respond, Jonas is grabbing his arm and dragging him out the back door. He tries his best to look over his shoulder and try to find those blue eyes again but all Isak sees is a swarm of people trying to get out of the house and away from the cops who had just made their way into the living room.

When he collapses on Jonas’ bed later that night, he accepts the fact that he’ll most likely never see the boy again.

Chapter Text

“But Lea, you’re 21!”

Even isn’t sure what makes him stop in his tracks - already on the outside of the schoolyard gates, but he finds himself glued to this spot. A little ways off into the schoolyard is a boy sitting on a bench. His hair is golden blond and Even can see little curls poking out from under a snapback worn backwards. The boy seems to be arguing with someone on the other end of his phone but Even doesn’t hear anymore of the angry shouts coming from the boys mouth.

Even feels… a connection. Something about this boy is screaming at Even and even though he tries his hardest to place it, he can’t put his finger on it. This boy feels… familiar. Staring at him across the courtyard almost feels like deja vu. Even continues to stare at the boy as he yells again and gestures angrily - his arm flailing out a bit in front of him. Honestly, Even should probably be concerned as to why he feels so drawn to someone who is publically showing so much anger but more than anything, this boy just completely captivates Even’s attention. It’s almost as if watching this boy has pressed pause on all of his other emotions. He no longer feels the fear, insecurity, and anxiety that had him literally running for home just a few moments ago.

The angry boy is grabbing his backpack now and heading towards the school. Even watches him walk further and further away from him and feels like the pause on his overwhelming emotions is shaking - threatening to hit play and fast forward with every step away from Even this boy gets. It’s then that he notices the angry boy is heading in the same door that Even himself was instructed to go in earlier.

Maybe it’s the deja vu feeling that he wants to investigate. Maybe it’s the desire to keep him emotions paused. Maybe it’s destiny. Maybe he’s an idiot and needs to stop watching so many romance dramas.

Even only needs a moment more to take a deep breath and square his shoulders. He follows the angry boy into the school building.