Work Text:
“Jimin has a new girlfriend,” Hoseok says, skipping all formalities.
Yoongi looks up from the textbook he’s been reading for the past three hours. A last attempt to study for the chemistry exam he has in two days. General Education classes are just about the worst thing to happen to college students since the creation of Starbucks.
“Hello to you too, Hoseok,” Yoongi replies blandly.
“Didn’t you hear me Yoonie? Jimin has a new girlfriend.”
“Yes, yes. I heard you the first time, I just don’t give a damn,” Yoongi is lying, and Hoseok knows he is. Honestly Hoseok knows Yoongi better than Yoongi knows himself. Ten years of friendship does that to people. Which means--
“You give so many damns they’re visible from space, Yoongi.”
And there it is. The undeniable truth that Yoongi still insists on denying.
The undeniable truth that Yoongi’s heart does, in fact, exist. He just doesn’t have it. Park Jimin does.
“I’ll be fine Hobi. I’ve had years to get used to this. Jimin gets new girlfriends all the time,” Yoongi says, but despite claiming he was fine he still sets his textbook aside. He curls up on the couch, pulling his knees up to his chest and resting his chin on them. He doesn’t meet Hoseok’s eyes, hoping that maybe he won’t notice if Yoongi just doesn’t meet his eyes.
It doesn’t work because moments later he feels a hand on his shoulder and he hears Hoseok’s voice, uncharacteristically quiet and soft.
“No matter how many times it happens it’s still allowed to hurt. It’s still going to.”
Yoongi unwraps his arms from around his legs and practically falls into Hoseok, “I know.”
Hoseok and him sit there for the next hour or so. Hoseok traces calming circles onto his back as Yoongi buries his face in Hoseok’s neck and tries to forget about the existence of Park Jimin, if only just for a moment.
It doesn’t work.
☆
“Hyung~”
“No.”
“But hyung~”
“I said no, Jimin.”
“You don’t even know what I’m gonna say!” Jimin pouts at him from his place on the other side of the couch. He can’t keep the pout for long, it turns into a smile a moment later.
Yoongi looks away.
“Stop that.”
“Stop what?” Jimin asks, still smiling.
“Doing that thing with your face when you’re happy. It’s making me nauseous,” Yoongi says, pulling a disgusted face.
Jimin giggles, crawling across the couch to him and throwing his arms around Yoongi’s neck.
“Think you’ll like her, Yoongi. I know you always say you like my girlfriends but I know you don’t. But this one is really good. She’s really nice and funny, I’m sure you’ll like her… I really want you to like her.”
Jimin says the last part softly, practically just breathing the words into Yoongi’s neck, his pink hair tickling Yoongi’s chin.
And it makes Yoongi feel like an absolute dickhead. He’s got one of the most beautiful boys in the world practically sitting on his lap saying that all he wants is Yoongi’s approval but Yoongi just...can’t.
As much as he wants to, he can’t give his approval of whatever girlfriend Jimin has this time because he’s a selfish asshole.
Because he would do anything to be in their place.
Instead he settles for this. Well maybe settles is the wrong word because honestly Yoongi considers himself blessed. To be able to see Jimin. To touch him, even if it’s not in the way that he would like.
He gets to sit here on the couch in his shitty apartment and pull Jimin closer. He gets to wrap his arms around Jimin’s waist and whisper in his ear.
Yoongi only wishes that the words he whispers weren’t: “I’m sure she’s lovely, Jimin.”
☆
“Why don’t we go for a hike?”
“Exercise? I’m good thanks.”
“Don’t be sarcastic.”
“Don’t ask stupid questions if you don’t want a sarcastic answer.”
“Come on Yoongs, you need to get out more.”
“I’m perfectly fine where I am, thanks,” Yoongi snaps back.
He’s currently laying upside down on the couch, legs over the top of it and head hanging off the seat. There’s a almost empty tub of ice cream sitting on his stomach. It was full fifteen minutes ago.
Yeah, he’s definitely fine right where he is.
Jimin is watching him in two parts amusement and one part exasperation.
“Hike. Now. No excuses,” Jimin walks forward and snatches the ice cream off of Yoongi’s chest, “Go get changed.”
Yoongi doesn’t move.
“Now.”
Yoongi sighs and makes his way to his room. He puts on the closest thing he owns that resembles workout clothes and follows Jimin out the door.
An hour later and Yoongi is on the verge of death.
“This is my life now. I have climbed this hill and now I will die upon it.”
“Shut up. We’ve only been hiking for twenty minutes.”
“Doesn’t matter. The angels of death have come down to rain their heavenly torture on me in the form of exercise. It’s only a matter of time before they decide to simply kill me.”
“So I’m an angel of death now?”
Yoongi turns his head from where he is lying in the dirt to face Jimin. The sun is outlining his figure from behind him and it makes his hair glow like he has a halo and Yoongi thinks yes. Yes, Jimin is an angel. Maybe not an angel of death but an angel nonetheless.
☆
Yoongi officially gives up once they reach the halfway checkpoint of the mountain. He thinks he did a pretty good job. He made it far enough that if they look out over the edge of the mountain they can see the evening sun painting the sky with colors of red and orange as it sets behind another mountain farther west.
Yoongi moves to sit down on the bench where Jimin is already sitting. He prepares himself for the conversation to come because no matter how much Jimin complains about his diet habits and his lack of exercise, Jimin is not the kind of person to spontaneously drive three hours just for a hike.
“She broke up with me, Hyung.”
Yoongi remains silent and waits for Jimin to continue.
“Said something about me not paying enough attention to her. Said that I kept talking about other people and not her.” Jimin laughs, the sound isn’t kind. “She said that maybe if I shut up once and a while I’d actually be able to keep a girlfriend.”
Yoongi reaches over and grabs his hand, threading his fingers through Jimin’s.
“She’s probably right. I haven’t ever been able to keep a girlfriend longer than a couple months. After the first few I thought it was just bad luck but now I think that maybe I am doing something wrong.”
Jimin’s voice is sad and heavy. The kind of tone that only comes after so many rejections that your heart stops trying to cover up the pain with other things. Instead the sadness seeps into your voice. Into your fingers and your thoughts. Even into the tips of your toes.
Yoongi know the feeling well enough. He’s felt it since the first day he realized he was in love with Jimin so Yoongi knows that someone like Jimin doesn’t ever deserve to feel that way.
People always said that Hoseok was the metaphorical sunshine of their group, but he has always disagreed. For all of Hoseok’s warmth Yoongi doesn’t think anyone can shine as brightly as Jimin does when he receives a compliment. Or when he finally gets down that one dance move that he’s been struggling with for weeks.
And Yoongi knows better than anyone that when Jimin gets excited about something he tends to ramble. Words coming out of him mouth faster that the speed of light when he talks about something he loves. Yoongi has always found it endearing, and the idea that anyone would think differently seems impossible to him.
It’s hard to find the right words to say in a situation like this. He wants to help, wants to be supportive, but he knows that if he says too much he’ll give himself away.
Then he looks over at Jimin and he sees the tears gathering in his eyes and decides fuck it. At this point he doesn’t really care if he gives himself away because Jimin is sad. And Yoongi would rather die than see Jimin sad.
“You’re not doing anything wrong, Minnie.” Yoongi squeezes Jimin’s hand even tighter, “You’re fucking amazing. Anyone would be lucky to date someone as beautiful as you.”
After a few seconds of Jimin not saying anything Yoongi finally gathers up the courage to look at him, but not without a great deal of effort.
Jimin looks stunned. Eyes wide and mouth open in surprise. His voice is quiet and unsure when he finally asks Yoongi, “You really think that, Hyung?”
Yoongi gives him a small smile, “Yeah, Jimin. I really think that. You deserve someone who will give back as much as you give them.”
Yoongi was not, in any way, prepared for Jimin’s reaction to this statement. The blinding smile he got in return for his words has his heart skipping a beat and his palms sweating like he was a teenager again. Yoongi hopes that Jimin doesn’t notice his sweaty palms.
They sit in silence for the rest of their time on the mountain. When the sun gets low enough in the sky that everything tints blue they decide to leave, not wanting to have to find their way down the mountain in the dark.
The trek down the mountain is only slightly better than the hike up it, partly because it’s downhill, and partly because Jimin’s hand is still holding onto his, fingers small and short compared to Yoongi’s but oh so endearing. Yoongi still complains the entire way and begs for Jimin to buy him ice cream when they finally reach the bottom.
“If I’m going to die, let me eat ice cream.”
“You’re not dying.”
“Let me eat ice cream anyways.”
So Jimin pulls him into the small diner at the foot at the mountain. Yoongi has to consciously stop himself from making a noise of protest when Jimin lets go of his hand once they sit in a booth.
When the waitress comes for their orders Jimin gives her a polite smile before telling her, “Two vanilla cones please.”
The sun finishes setting behind the mountain, Jimin tells him about his new dance choreography as he finishes his ice cream, and Yoongi is more than just a little bit in love.
☆
It’s three weeks later that Hoseok barges into Yoongi’s apartment again.
Yoongi talks before he can, “If it’s about Jimin having a new girlfriend, I really don’t want to hear it.”
“Oh no Yoongi, you’ll want to hear this.”
“I highly, highly doubt it.”
“Jimin is dating someone-”
“I said I didn’t want to hear about it.”
“Yoongi,” Hoseok says, tone serious, “Jimin is dating a guy.”
That definitely gets Yoongi’s attention.
“Jimin is...dating a guy?” Yoongi asks carefully, half hoping he misheard.
“Yeah, Jimin is dating a guy,” Hoseok confirms.
“As in a member of the male species.”
“Yes, Yoongi.”
“As in someone, a person, who identifies as a dude.”
“Yes, Yoongi.”
“As in-”
“Yoongi!” Hoseok grabs onto Yoongi’s shoulders, “Jimin. Is. Dating. A. Guy.”
Yoongi is silent as his mind frantically races to process this information. Eventually the only thing he really gets from it is-
“So, Jimin isn’t straight.”
Hoseok sighs and sits down on the couch next to Yoongi, “It would appear so, yes.”
“But, he never told me.” It may sound selfish but honestly Yoongi is more confused than anything. Anyone who knows about their group knows that Yoongi and Jimin were pretty damn close. They told each other everything.
Well, almost everything.
It looks like they both had something they were keeping from each other.
☆
It’s three days after that Jimin shows up, using the spare key Yoongi gave him ages ago to open the door after Yoongi failed to respond to his insistent knocks.
Yoongi had been avoiding him. He didn’t answer any of his texts and calls and purposely skipped out on Friday night dinner at Seokjin’s place. Maybe it seemed a bit childish but for some reason it was hitting Yoongi harder than the others before. Although Yoongi is well aware that that’s hardly an excuse to act like a child. Guess Jimin finally figured him out though.
“Yoongi?” Jimin calls from his place by the door.
All Yoongi gives in response is a noncoherent grunt.
Jimin apparently takes that as an invitation to walk into the apartment, toeing off his shoes before moving to sit down next to where Yoongi is curled up on the couch with three different blankets and an oversized sweatshirt despite it being spring.
Yoongi reasons that this is only excused by the fact that he is apparently having his midlife crisis 25 years early.
Jimin takes one look at his outfit and excessive amount of blankets before sighing, “Yoongi, are you okay?”
“‘M fine, Jiminie.”
Jimin reaches over to push Yoongi’s sweaty black bangs back from his forehead as he frowns at him, “Are you sure? Are you on a low?”
“I don’t- don’t really think so. It feels different,” Yoongi manages to get out through the tight feeling in his chest caused by Jimin carding his fingers through his hair.
“What is it then? You didn’t show up at Jin’s, and you never skip out on free food.”
Yoongi can’t bring himself to meet Jimin’s eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Jimin?”
Jimin doesn’t reply.
“I mean I know you’re not obligated to. I know better than most people the struggle of coming out and everything but I guess I just thought that we were close enough that you wouldn’t feel like you couldn’t tell me.”
Yoongi sees Jimin wince at that.
“It wasn’t like that Yoongi, I promise.”
Yoongi sheds two of his blankets and wraps the third even tighter around himself as he stands up and makes his way to the kitchen. He can hear the patter of Jimin’s bare feet following behind him.
“Feel free to explain it to me Jimin,” Yoongi reaches for the instant ramen cups and fills it up with water before sticking it in the microwave while waiting for Jimin to explain.
“I guess it just never really crossed my mind to tell you.”
Yoongi snorts at that, watching as the cup spins round and round in the microwave because anything is more favorable than facing Jimin right now.
“I don’t ever really get attracted to guys, Yoongi. I had my gay awakening in middle school-”
Yoongi grabs his noodles from the microwave when it beeps.
“-and I never liked another guy until Freshman year here when I started crushing on-” Jimin cuts himself off suddenly.
Yoongi jumps up on the counter to face Jimin, noodles in hand, “When you started crushing on who?”
Jimin clears his throat, “Just, some guy from my stats class, it’s not important.”
Yoongi raises an eyebrow at Jimin’s blatant dismissal of the subject but doesn’t bother questioning it, taking a bite of his ramen instead.
Jimin pouts at him, “I didn’t mean to hide it from you, Hyung, I promise. No one else knew either, besides Tae. Although that may be due to the fact that he was my gay awakening in middle school and I’m not exactly subtle when I have a crush. It’s honestly a miracle that people don’t notice as soon as I start liking them, but then again if they did I would be kind of screwed because-”
“Jimin,” Yoongi interrupts, “You’re rambling.”
“Right, sorry.” Jimin purses his lips.
Yoongi observes him for a minute before sighing, “Alright, I forgive you.”
Jimin’s eyes light up, “Really?”
“Yeah, It’s not like I can ever stay mad at you for long anyways,” Yoongi sets his ramen down on the counter beside where he’s sitting.
Jimin giggles, “And why not?”
“Because you’re cute, Park Jimin, and I’ve always been weak to cute things.”
Jimin steps forward so he stands between Yoongi’s legs and wraps his arms around Yoongi’s waist.
“I love you, hyung.”
Yoongi tilts his head back until it hits the cabinet.
“I love you too, Jiminie.”
He never finishes his ramen.
☆
Jimin’s boyfriend’s name is Jaeho and if Yoongi thought them dating in the first place was disastrous it was nothing compared to the breakup.
It was nothing like the other breakups Jimin has been through for multiple reasons but one crucial one.
He cheated.
And when Taehyung called Yoongi to tell him that Jaeho had cheated and Jimin was currently crying his eyes out over a tub of ice cream, he saw red.
(Rumors went around the school for a couple weeks about who Jaeho managed to piss off so bad to get that nasty black eye, but no one had to know that the quiet senior Min Yoongi wasn’t as harmless as he may have seemed.)
So after making that one little pit stop Yoongi shows up at the front door of Jimin and Taehyung’s apartment with bruised knuckles but a feeling of immense satisfaction.
Yoongi holds Jimin until he stops crying, and then holds him even longer until he falls asleep.
Soon enough Yoongi drifts off too. Legs tangled with Jimin’s and still holding on tightly to the boy who had, without warning, become his entire world.
☆
Yoongi wakes up before Jimin does the next day. He carefully extracts himself from where he is still tangled up with him and makes his way to the kitchen to start making breakfast. Jimin always wakes up as soon as he smells pancakes.
Sure enough as soon as Yoongi puts the first pancake on the pan he hears someone walking up behind him.
“God, where is the advil?”
Yoongi snorts, “Top cabinet on the right. Where it always is, Jimin. This is your apartment shouldn’t you know where it is?”
“Can’t think over my blaring headache.”
Yoongi watches out of the corner of his eyes as Jimin stretches up on his tippy toes to reach the bottle, shaking two pills out and swallowing them dry.
“Are you okay?” Yoongi asks, trying to sound as casual as possible, as if he didn’t spend two and a half hours last night calming Jimin down until he fell asleep.
He obviously fails because Jimin lets out a sarcastic laugh, “You mean am I gonna burst into tears any second because he cheated on me. No, I think I’m good.”
Yoongi winces.
“Although I must admit that it is nice to know you punched him.”
Yoongi stills in the middle of flipping a pancake, “...who says I punched him.”
Jimin smiles at him and grabs the wrist of the hand that’s still holding the spatula, brushing his fingers over Yoongi’s knuckles, “Bruised knuckles, Hyung. So unless Hoseok finally annoyed you enough for you to sock him, you payed Jaeho a visit last night.”
Yoongi laughs nervously, “Sorry?”
Jimin hums, “Don’t be, if you didn’t do it than Jeongguk was going to. I guess it’s comforting to know that even if I suck in the relationship department, I did end up with some loyal fucking friends.”
Yoongi slides the last pancake onto the plate and hands it to Jimin, “Eat your pancakes, Park.”
Jimin sits down on top of the counter and speaks in between bites, “I think I’m just going to take a break from the dating scene entirely. Obviously it’s not working out for me right now.”
Yoongi laughs, “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”
☆
“Absolutely not.”
“But Yoongi~” Hoseok whines.
“It will be fun, Hyung~” Jeongguk joins in with the whining.
“We haven’t all hung out in forever~” There is Taehyung.
“I said no,” Yoongi states. Final in his decision.
“Please, Yoongi. It might be nice,” Jimin speaks up.
Okay so, maybe not totally final in his decision.
Yoongi chews on his lip in consideration before reluctantly giving in, “Fine, but if I drown you fuckers aren’t getting anything in my will.”
“You’re a broke college student, Yoongi. There isn’t much to give in the first place.”
Yoongi scowls, “Shut up Joon.”
☆
Two hours later and Yoongi is severely regretting his decision.
“Whose idea was this!?” Yoongi yells over the rush of water.
“I found a pamphlet! I thought it would be fun!” Taehyung defends himself.
“This looks like a suicide mission. No way in hell I survive this!” Yoongi yells back.
Jimin grabs onto his arm and leans forward so he doesn’t have to yell to be heard, “Please, Yoongi? You’ll have a life jacket and if you do fall out I promise I’ll come in after you.”
All Yoongi really heard from what he said was ‘please’ and ‘life jacket’, too distracted by the warmth of Jimin’s hand on his arm and his breath tickling Yoongi’s ear. He guesses it doesn’t really matter what Jimin said because Yoongi is incapable of saying no to him anyways.
“Okay, fine, but I swear to god Taehyung if I die I’m coming back to haunt you.”
Yoongi pointedly ignores Jeongguk’s “Whipped,” and makes his way over to the training booth where they will watch a ten minute video before going white water rafting.
Yoongi doesn’t know who thought that making their way down class 5 rapids with nothing but a life jacket and a rubber boat would be fun. They were probably named John, because it just seems like something a guy named John would come up with.
Yoongi spaces out for the majority of the safety video, which was a big mistake on his part.
He reluctantly shrugs on a life jacket after the video and struggles with buttoning his helmet before Jimin comes over to help. So close that his breath fans across Yoongi’s face and Yoongi wonders what exactly he did in his past life to know someone as stunningly beautiful as Park Jimin.
They all climb into the boat a few minutes later. Their guide is someone named Jackson. He claims that he’s been doing this for years and is an expert but he also tripped while climbing on the boat so maybe not.
Yoongi picks the safest spot on the boat, right in the middle on the left side. Jimin sits down behind him and Taehyung and Jin are in front of him. Jeongguk, Namjoon, and Hoseok all sit down on the other side of the boat. Hoseok is shaking like a leaf at the prospect of white water rafting and Yoongi finds it both pitiful and amusing.
Jackson pushes them off from the edge and instructs those with ores to start paddling. It doesn’t seem that bad at first, the waters are relatively calm at the beginning. Yoongi actually starts to calm down and releases the death grip he has on the boat.
He really, really shouldn’t have done that because a couple seconds later they go plunging down a hill. Yoongi ends up flying out of the boat and into the water.
He struggles for a minute in the water before his life jacket floats him to the surface. The only problem being that he’s trapped under the boat.
Yoongi immediately panics. He remembers the safety video talking about what to do in this situation but he fails to remember what it said. He begins to uselessly claw at the bottom of the boat in hopes that he can somehow propel himself out from under it. Just as he’s starting to get lightheaded from the lack of oxygen he feels someone grab his arm and pull him out from under the boat.
Yoongi gasps for air when he breaches the surface, desperately clinging to his savior.
“Yoongi! Yoongi, are you okay?” Jimin asks frantically. The boat has already moved ahead of them, leaving them to fend for themselves in the rapids without a boat.
“I’m,” gasp, “fine.”
Jimin looks relieved for all of one second before the current starts to carry them down the course again.
Yoongi yelps and grabs onto Jimin’s shoulders. Luckily they don’t float very far before one of the guards on the edge of the course spots them and throws them a rope for them to grab onto.
Jimin grabs one hand onto the rope and wraps the other securely around Yoongi’s waist was the women starts to pull them to edge of the river.
Yoongi has never loved land so much before. They both collapse on the ground when they make it to the edge. Yoongi has a stick digging into his back but he can’t bring himself to care when he almost died and Jimin is currently laying on top of him.
Eventually Jimin pushes himself up so he’s hovering over Yoongi.
They both stare at each other before bursting into laughter. Yoongi clings onto his waist as Jimin buries his face in Yoongi’s neck.
“Oh god, that was horrible. Who thought this was a good idea?” Jimin says breathlessly.
“Taehyung, apperently,” Yoongi says bitterly.
Jimin giggles, placing his hands on Yoongi’s shoulders and raising an eyebrow at him, “I just saved your life, now you owe me, Min.”
“Fine, fine. What do you want?”
“Take me to that fancy italian place,” Jimin demands, eyes sparkling.
Yoongi pouts, “But that place is so expensive.”
“You promised me you would take me ages ago, Yoongi!” Jimin whines.
Whining. Yoongi can never resist the whining.
“Fine, I’ll take you.”
Jimin squeals, throwing his arms around Yoongi and almost sending them tumbling back into the river.
☆
“Hey, did Yoongi and Jimin fall out or something?”
“Who cares? I want chicken tenders.”
☆
Yoongi and Jimin decide to go to the restaurant on a Tuesday.
Yoongi doesn’t try very hard with his outfit. He throws on a wrinkled dark blue dress shirt and some jeans that have less than three holes in them. Which it’s honestly amazing that Yoongi even owns a pair of jeans that have less than five holes in them.
He should have expected Jimin to be less than impressed when he walks into Yoongi’s apartment a few moments later and sees his outfit.
Jimin looks like royalty. His hair now dyed a beautiful silver color and the black silk button up shirt he’s wearing looks absolutely stunning. Especially paired with the black choker sitting on his neck.
Yoongi mouth goes dry at the sight of him.
“Yoongi. This place is five star. You can’t wear jeans to a five star restaurant.”
“What are they gonna do? Kick me out? Besides, I don’t own everything else.”
Jimin gives him an unimpressed look, “You and I both know that’s not true. Go grab those black slacks you wore to my dance performance a couple months ago.”
“How the hell do you even remember those? I only wore them once,” Yoongi asks, surprised.
He’s pretty sure he imagined the blush on Jimin’s face when he quickly replies with, “I don’t know I guess I just have good memory.”
Yoongi sighs and starts walking back to his room to change when Jimin yells after him again, “Oh and Yoongi, give me the shirt so I can iron it.”
Yoongi sighs again and turns around to face Jimin, unbuttoning the shirt and throwing it over at Jimin before finally going to change.
When he’s finished putting on the slacks that he found sitting in the back of his closet he walks back out to see Jimin in the middle of ironing the shirt.
Yoongi honestly didn’t even know that he owned an iron but looks like he does.
Jimin looks up briefly to glance at Yoongi before doing a double take and staring at his bare chest.
“Have you been working out, Hyung?”
Yoongi can feel the heat of his blush creeping up his neck, “Just a little. Jeongguk has been dragging me to the gym.”
Jimin hums, “You look good, Yoongi.”
“Thah- thanks,” Yoongi sputters, raising a hand to rub and the back of his neck awkwardly and the other hand crossing over his chest to cover it self consciously.
“Don’t get shy on me now.”
“Shut up, Jimin.”
Jimin laughs at him before holding out the newly ironed shirt for Yoongi to slip into.
Yoongi cautiously slips his arms through the shirt and stands as still as possible while Jimin buttons it up for him. It’s always things like this that have Yoongi’s head spinning. The easy domestic feeling of these moments with Jimin that have his heart clenching. The idea of what these moments would be like if only things were just a little bit different. Would Jimin press a kiss to his lips after buttoning the last button? Or would he laugh at Yoongi’s flustered state and bombard him with more compliments just to see him blush some more?
What would it be like if Park Jimin fell in love with Min Yoongi?
In the end the only thing Jimin does after he finishes buttoning up the shirt is smile at Yoongi and whisper that, “This kind of feels like we’re going on a date, doesn’t it?”
God Yoongi fucking wishes that this was a date. He would give just about anything to go on a real official date with Jimin.
“Yeah, I mean, I guess. Kind of- a bit I suppose but. It’s not a date- or at least I don’t think so. I think dates require a bit more clarification, right?” Yoongi cringes when he’s done speaking. That was a trainwreck of a sentence, but Jimin seems to be greatly amused going by the shit eating grin on his face.
“Yeah, I think dates do require clarification,” Jimin says in a teasing voice.
“Yeah, um, we should probably go or we will miss the reservation.”
☆
They make it to the restaurant right before the reservation was about to expire and are seated quickly.
Jimin orders three different kinds of pasta and Yoongi sighs at the thought of the check but doesn’t complain.
They don’t talk much during the dinner. Yoongi talks a bit about a new song he’s producing and Jimin begs Yoongi to let him listen to it. Jimin talks about a professor that’s on his nerves and Yoongi sympathises with him as much as he can.
When they make their way out of the restaurant, however, that’s when Jimin really starts to talk.
“Taehyung keeps going on about Jeonggukie lately. He says it’s because Jeongguk has been especially bratty lately but I think Tae is just upset that he isn’t paying as much attention to him as usual.”
“Well we all know that Taehyung doesn’t like when other people have Jeongguk’s attention. He can be a possessive fucker,” Yoongi shivers at the thought of Taehyung and his possessive streak. It can be scary sometimes.
“Yeah…” Jimin trails off.
Yoongi grabs his hand and pulls him over to a bench lining the sidewalk, “Do you want to tell me what you’re thinking now?”
Jimin looks nervous, Yoongi notes. He looks skittish, like any moment he’ll run away.
“Maybe, I just have to get the courage first.”
Yoongi give Jimin what he hopes is a sympathetic look, “What’s up, Minnie? What are you scared to tell me?”
“You know the girl I dated before Jaeho? The one I told you about when I dragged you to the mountain?”
Yoongi nods at him, “Yeah, yeah I remember. What about her?”
Jimin takes a deep breath, “I said she broke up with me because she thought I didn’t pay enough attention to her and while that was true it wasn’t really the… whole story.”
Yoongi nods at Jimin to continue.
“I kept talking about you. I really wanted you to meet her. I guess I didn’t realize that I talked about you too much. When she broke up with me she didn’t even say much. She just said that we were done and that I needed to realize that I was in love with him. She didn’t even say a name, ya know? But I knew who she was talking about.”
Yoongi is suddenly a million times more nervous than he was before.
“And- and it kind of sucked you know? I had tried so hard to get rid of those feelings. I mean I had had them for years. Freshman year, like I told you. I thought I had succeeded. I went on dates all the time, half the time I hated the people I dated, but it was better that way.”
“Jiminie..”
“No. No talking till I’m finished, hyung. Got it?”
Yoongi nods.
“I mean I told you that I don’t like guys often, but you were just so handsome, hyung. You were so cool with your music and your rapping that I guess I just couldn’t help myself. I never really thought I would have a chance so I brushed it off and tried to distract myself with other people. I was the problem with all of those relationships, I wasn’t actually invested in them.”
Jimin laughs, the sound dry and self deprecating.
“What’s really pathetic is how I kept going to you with each of my new conquests. Even as I was dating other people, I still wanted your approval.”
Shit. Yoongi’s mind is spinning. All these years and Jimin was here. Jimin was here and he was confessing.
“Then, we went to the mountain. And it just confirmed how screwed I was. Jaeho was a last ditch attempt at denial. I thought maybe if I dated a guy it would be different. I wasn’t even upset when I found out he cheated, and that’s why I was crying. Not because I was upset he cheated but because I wasn’t upset.”
Jimin takes in a deep breath and finally, finally, faces Yoongi.
“I’m a little bit in love with you, Yoongi. Because you’re not big on words unless it’s lyrics but you give the best hugs. Because you tell me that I deserve more than the people I dated when really it was my fault the relationships fell apart.”
Jimin starts tearing up, “Because anytime you stay over at my place or anytime I stay at yours you make me pancakes even though I never asked you to.”
Before Yoongi knows what he’s doing he’s reaching out to swipe his thumb across Jimin’s cheek, wiping away a tear that escaped.
Jimin leans into it, “Because I know you’re in love with me. Because I know you have been for years but I always thought it wouldn’t work. I convinced myself it wouldn’t, but really I was just scared. I’m tired of being scared, hyung. I love you so much and I’m done being scared.”
Yoongi cups Jimin’s face and leans forward in a daze, “I love you too, Park Jimin.”
“I know,” Jimin whispers. And then they’re kissing and it feels like landing safely on the ground after falling. It feels like coming home after a long day at work. It feels like the smell of rain or the sound of waves. It feels like everything pleasant and just.. right.
☆
Jimin stays the night at Yoongi’s place. They sit curled up on the couch that they pulled to the window and watch the rain that’s pouring outside.
“Hey, hyung. I have one more confession to make.”
“Haven’t we had enough confessions for one day?”
“Shh, no. I promise you’ll like this one.”
“Alright what is it?”
Jimin looks at him very seriously, “I have to admit that the only reason I remembered those slacks is because your ass looked fucking amazing in them.”
Yoongi stares at him for a moment before tackling him down onto the mattress, “Yah, Park Jimin! You really have no shame.”
Yoongi doesn’t stay mad for long, not when Jimin is giggling from under him and tries to sneak kisses in the middle of their wrestling match.
And also because Yoongi is weak for him.
Yoongi has a heart now. It’s not his, however, it’s Park Jimin’s.