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Catra couldn’t quite seem to hear anything else but the ringing in her ears as she gripped her guitar with clammy hands. She stared out into the crowd, a smoky haze blurring her vision. She searched for them, the blue eyes that always stared back at her from the front row, and nodded slowly when she hadn’t found them.
Right.
Those pools of oceanic blue were the reason why she was standing up here, guitar in hand, ready to sing for a crowd she knew no one in. The first note of the synth behind her played, and she took that as her cue to begin.
Drove this time
To your house at night
Saw a car
But it sure ain't mine
Catra’s head bobbed to a song she wasn’t exactly listening to as she approached her girlfriend’s house. Adora hadn’t been answering her calls, and she had decided to drive to the blonde’s place to see what was up.
Pulling up to the driveway, she saw a car parked in front of Adora’s. At first she thought that maybe Bow and Glimmer had come to hang out with Adora. Though on closer inspection, it was a car she didn’t recognize.
A dark feeling grew in her stomach.
Must be someone here
It's my worst fear
Must be someone here
Not my first tear
Her hands shook as she approached the door, her heart thumping in her chest. She felt unnaturally and incredibly heavy, like someone had tied several cinder blocks to her feet. She couldn’t formulate a single coherent thought, and as the seconds ticked by, her fingers growing sweaty as they encircled the brass door knob in front of her, she could feel everything .
From the chilly night time wind blowing against her back, seemingly trying to push her into the house, to the dim heat on her skin from the overhead porch light her movement had triggered.
Catra didn’t exactly know what would be waiting for her on the other side of the door, but she hoped that was ever it was, it wouldn’t be the one thing she had been dreading the most.
Catra exhaled all the air in her lungs as she crossed the threshold, her nerves no better than before. She slowly licked her lips, the thumping in her chest becoming louder and louder as she hoarsely called for her girlfriend. “Adora?”
She didn’t receive an immediate answer, and the deafening silence scared her more than the entire uncertainty of the situation.
The floorboards beneath her feet creaked as she inched forward, making her way down the hallway towards Adora’s bedroom, where the door was slightly ajar. Was she sleeping? Had she been in the shower this entire time?
Catra placed her palm against the only thing keeping her from her girlfriend, and couldn’t exactly figure out why she couldn’t bring herself to push through her anxiety.
And then, she heard it.
It was a gasp, but not out of shock or surprise. No, she’s heard this gasp many times before, times where she and Adora would be entangled in each other late at night.
Without a second thought, Catra swung the door open, her suspicions long confirmed.
“Shit,” Adora cursed, wiping her mouth as she quickly pulled away from the girl she had been kissing.
A cheerleader. Catra didn’t know her name, but had seen her at many of Adora’s games.
“Catra—”
“Save it,” she responded, balling her fists. “I don’t wanna hear it.” Catra turned on her heel and began to walk out of the house, dread and disappointment filling her veins.
She should have known better. She should have known better than to give her heart to a jock, to someone who wasn’t anywhere close to her league.
All this is, is another mistake
Is another mistake
To check off my list
All this is, is another big break
Is another big break
With promises
Catra could feel the car keys in her hand digging into her skin as she continued to walk towards her car. Tears began to sting in her eyes.
Footsteps.
“Catra wait!” Adora’s tone was pleading. Regretful. Hurt.
It almost made Catra want to turn around, but she knew it’d be best if she didn’t. “No, I’m not listening,” she responded, picking up her pace. “Fuck you, Adora.”
Hard to stop
When my car's in drive
When I can't stop thoughts
Of driving right inside your place
The sadness in her had turned into unbridled rage, and she almost had half a mind to get in her car and floor it. As she unlocked her car door, she continued. “Oops! Sorry! You’ve got someone else for that now,”
She could hear the frown in Adora’s voice. “That’s not funny,”
“It wasn’t meant to be funny you fucking piece of shit,” Catra spat, slamming her door as she jammed the keys into the ignition. “This was a mistake,”
Must be someone here
It's my worst fear
Must be someone here
Not my first tear
Catra could see Adora’s face scrunch up in her side view mirror. “What was?”
Catra closed her eyes and took a deep breath, her hands tightening on the steering wheel.
“You.”
All this is, is another mistake
Is another mistake
To check off my list
All this is, is another big break
Is another big break
With promises
She pulled off without another word. Not that she had anything else to say to her. To the girl who broke her heart.
Catra felt an emptiness inside of her that she hadn't felt in a long time. Adora was the one thing in her life that made things less shitty.
And now she was a part of the bullshit.
Her grip on the steering wheel grew tighter and tighter, to the point when she could hear the leather creaking under her fingers.
Guess I'll go back
Guess I'll go home now
Gotta turn around
There's nothing here for me now
Nothing here for me now
Catra’s mind was still clouded with anger by the time she got back home. She hadn’t realized that her hands had been shaking the entire time, until she had reached the door of her and Scorpia’s apartment.
She didn’t even take her jacket off before she got into bed, and began to cry.
All this is, is another mistake
Is another mistake
To check off my list
All this is, is another big break
Is another big break
With promises
When Catra had opened her eyes after the last chorus, she still searched the crowd for those teal eyes, the one’s she fell in love with moment she had locked with them in science class.
Still, she didn’t see them.
She left the stage after a round of applause, her heart both lighter and heavier.
Promises were meant to be broken she supposed.