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Black is the colour of my true loves hair
Her lips are like some roses fair
She has the sweetest smile and the gentlest hands
And I love the ground whereon she stands
I love my love and well she knows
I love the ground whereon she goes
I wish that day would soon come
When she and I can be as one
Irish Folk Song, “Black is the Colour”
ESCANOR POW
You are my Sun, the Light of my existence.
I thought that this could have been enough for me.
Even in the long years of exile, when the Seven Deadly Sins seemed to have been divided forever, I continued to believe - to hope with all myself - that one day I would see you again.
I wandered alone, through the lands of Britannia, but your memory never left me. You have been my only solace in those long years of solitude. Your face, indelibly engraved in my mind and in my heart, was the only constant of my days: the first thought to welcome me when I waked up and the last to cradle me in the oblivion of sleep. You never ever abandoned me: even my dreams were filled of you, of your melodious voice, of your amber eyes, of your beautiful hair, black and shiny like ripe blackberries... [1]
Then, after a decade of distance, the Destiny came unexpectedly to knock on my door, with the appearance of our mutual friend: Ban.
The Fox Sin of Greed stormed into my tavern - chased by Galand and Melascula - ripping me from the quiet monotony of my life.
Ban didn’t need to convince me to follow him: it was enough for me to know that they… I mean, that you need me now that a new threat impend on the Kingdom of Britannia. So, straightaway, I decided to forsake everything, leaving behind me - without regret - all that I had managed to build in the last years.
Without hesitation, I faced and defeated the two demons of the Ten Commandments, becoming once again the Lion’s Sin of Pride.
To join you I would have reach the most remote borders of the universe! Anything to return to you and to the only family that has ever really appreciated me for what I am. Finally the Seven Deadly Sins would be back!
I overcame every obstacle and defeated every enemy on my way to reach you in Liones. I searched for you in the delirium of the battle, sure that - if anything happened to you - I would have known it, I would have feel it... until I finally perceived the unmistakable spoor of your magic, that lead me to you.
So I founded you, wonderful and unharmed, like a shining flower among the rubble of a ruined city.
You can’t imagine the boundless joy that I felt losing myself in the amber purity of your eyes. You were as beautiful as before, unloved by the merciless touch of Krónos, as if only one second had passed since the last time we had met!
In that moment, drunk by the fiery rays of the Sun and by the epic fight I won against Estarossa, with my eyes full of you and my heart overflowing of joy, I did not give importance to the fact that, among all the Sins, I was the only one to be changed... but now, with the passing of the days, this awareness has become overwhelmingly inside of me.
The “daytime Escanor”, Lion of Pride, opposes vigorously to this ineluctable truth; but my nocturnal Ego is now aware that - unfortunately - I am the only one of the Seven Sins to be subject to the ephemeral human nature.
Unlike you all - the other Sins - I... I'm getting older.
As I admitted a short time ago, at The Great Fight Festival, during my match against Gowther, I have never had the presumption to think that you could want me by your side, in your life.
Infact I always thinked that the simple fact that I’ve met you gave meaning to my whole existence. You were always the One who illuminated the path of my life. I couldn’t want more... I don’t deserve more.
And yet, when I saw you again in Liones after ten years, something has changed definitively: now that I have returned to your Light, I know that I’ll not be able to do without It again.
However I start – unworthily - to desire the impossible, longing to spend with you every beat of the time that I still have to live. The thought that my whole existence is nothing but an ephemeral instant, compared to your long lasting nature, destroys me.
One day you could even forget me, and I would have been anything for you... while you, for me, you are and you’ll always be my first, the last, my everything. [2]
I was just over twenty when I first looked at you. You presented yourself in front of me, without any awe, asking if I wanted to join the Captain Meliodas' knightly order.
I simply accepted, but it’s only you - and you alone - that I have decided to follow: the woman who with one of her smile has been able to tame the Lion of my Pride; the woman who with a simple glance has awakened my dormant heart, making me feel emotions that till that moment had ever been precluded me.
For the first time, what I had always regarded as a curse had become something important or at least "a source of interest" for someone.
For the first time in many year I was considered “special”, and not just a freak.
My curse became the gift that led you to me, my Angel…
You are the Muse that, since from the first day we met, inspires my intellect and my heroic deeds, the personification of Love and of all the feminine Virtues I praise in my poems.
In the silly ingenuity of my twenties I believed that your being a source of inspiration could be enough forever; and during the many springs that followed - while the Seven Sins increased their fame throughout the Kingdom - I continued to believe it.
And so it has always been, till… the moment I saw you again. That moment everything has changed.
Then I was no longer that naïve boy who for you joined the Knight’s Order of the Seven Deadly Sins, in that distant morning of a lukewarm May.
By now my face show almost the double of that boy’s age.
At the end my Pride has destroyed the bank of my reason and, however “unworthy”, I have begun to hope, to desire to overcome this deep border between us.
Maybe it was because of your smile, that I would like to have only for me.
Maybe because, somethimes, I think to see “something” in your eyes, in the way you look at me, in the veiled sensuality of your voice, in the way you talk to me.
Or maybe because today I pretend to know more about "feminine nature", because in the long years of exile I tried to find consolation in other women… thinking I could build a new life with one of them.
Contrary of any expectation no other woman has ever been able to tarnish your Light or accept me unconditionally for what I am, as you have done.
I belong to you, day and night, without distinction.
I am devoted to you my beautiful tiger-eyed sorceress.
Now I am in your presence again and every gesture of yours, every word of yours, triggers contrasting emotions in me. There are even times when it seems to me that you want to tease me... to stir me in the way women use to torment the hearts and the minds of men.
You've always been eccentric and flashy in the way you dress. Your succint clothes would make boil even a dead man’s blood, but your figure - whatever you wear, or don’t wear - reflects only your boundless grace.
I think that is part of your own enchanting nature to bend the will of others not only with your magic, but also with your incomparable beauty.
It's part of your natural strength and I can’t blame you.
Yet now I can’t believe that an attentive and analytical mind like yours has never noticed the upheaval that your presence always caused to me in the past and that, even today, hit me even during the day... when I am tougher and quite immune to any physical and psychological offense.
In the years of my youth I simply thought that the problem was myself, that I was defenseless against your incomparable charme and that I was too young for a woman like you...
In the last few days I started instead to believe – or should I say “to hope”? - that some of your attempts to tease me are intentional, as you playing to trigger some reaction from me.
I am a fool, I know, but the doubt grips me, because my being is splitted in two antithetical natures. At night my insecurities crush me and I - so shy and clumsy, for one reason or another - always end up making me ridiculous in front of you, and then being assaulted by an oppressive melancholy.
By day, when everything - including myself – appears to me in a better light, I think back the facts appened in the night, how I’ve been tormented by your words, and I come to believe that I have noticed some signs from you that my nocturnal Ego - shyer and weaker – doesn’t even dare to hope...
As happened for instance a few days ago: the morning after the Liones’ reconstruction, after the bloody battle with the Ten Commandments...
Throughout the night I stayed with you, so I could witness the wonder of your magical arts, I could admire your skills in restore all the city’s buildings, bringing them back to their original splendor. So that, few hours later, every trace of the battle was erase, except for the weeping of those who had lost someone dear that tragic day.
I tried to soothe the melancholy in your eyes with my closeness: I know you well and I know you would have liked to do much more to help those people, but your magic arts can’t fill – unfortunately - the void left in their hearts.
Furthermore, you have made me aware of your concerns about the Captain Meliodas’ health conditions, because - as you have revealed to me, whenever he returns to life because of the Demon King’s curse - he loses part of his soul and of his own "humanity".
To distract you from these gloomy thoughts we have talked for a long time about ourselves and those past years; and – for my highest joy - you chose to stay with me all night rather than reach the others for the after-battle celebrations.
You have medicated my wounds - no matter how superfluous it is - and, just before sunrise, we returned to the castle. Reached the rooms that had been assigned to you, you gave me a waiter uniform of the "Boar Hat" to change and you present me a pair of glasses specifically created to block my daytime metamorphosis.
You told me that you spent months to perfect this magical item, explaining how useful it would be, during the future battles, for a better "surprise effect" against my enemies... and also to avoid - as has already happened in the past - to incurring in fights during my permanence in town, because of the "particular" nature of the daytime Escanor, which often ends up quarreling with anyone.
Just the fact that you had spent so much time creating that glasses specifically for me made me euphoric and gloating; and I was entusiastic to put immediately them on to please you.
I was overhelmed that you have been so nice to spend time thinking of me… so I immediately asked you what I could do to repay you kindness.
You remained silent for a long moment, staring at me, with an indecipherable expression on your face. Then a glimpse went through your eyes:
«Perhaps I have an idea...» you said, and then snapped your fingers, causing a sudden explosion of light.
My eyes took a few moments to recover after that unexpected flash and, as soon as I managed to get back to normal... I almost losing my senses in dismay! Infact, by magic, you were suddenly in front of me, naked and dipped in a marble bathtub, materialized from nothing in the middle of the room.
You observed me without any shame, with a sly look and an impudent smile on your beautiful lips, clearly amused by my burning embarrassment.
«Hey, you're bleeding!» You said seraphically, as if nothing had happened...
«What...?» I eloquently uttered, staring at you with the same intellectual lucidity of a stockfish.
You shook your head graciously, amused by my stunned face, and tapped your nose to clarify the concept.
«Oh…?! Ah! Damn it! You’re right! I have to go!» I mumbled – crestfallen for that unwanted cliché - passing hurriedly my hands all over my face to stop the copious flow of epistaxis caused by your half-naked body... like if I was a greenboy in hormonal crisis!
So, in an act of supreme mercy, you raised your right hand in the air, making a simple sequence of gestures and, the next moment, thanks to your magic, I was cleaned up again.
At that point I only wanted to go away and throw me into the nearest moat for shame, but your simple call was enough to nail me to the spot, with the hand already laid on the door handle, dissolving all my resolve:
«Wait, Escanor...» you murmured in a silken voice.
Then I turned to you, with a shocked look behind the glasses, and I waited - as you said to me - the conclusion of your sentence, with a sense of vague anxiety.
«I thought you wanted to "repay my kindness"... right now what I need most is a nice hot bath… but I didn’t think to embarass you so much...» you said, nonchalantly, but - despite the light and careless tone – the sly look in your eyes seemed to challenge me.
I wasn’t understanding anything anymore! I only knew that, out of respect for your person, I would have to look away; but from the beginning it was a “losing battle”: like trying to convince a shipwreck who has just reached the salvation of the beach to dive back into the waves of the stormy sea!
I couldn’t resist the temptation and, with eager sight, I admired – repeatedly - every inch of your skin freely offered to my view.
Look at me, your eyes seemed to order and so… I obeyed.
In all honesty the clothes you wear these days show much more than what I could see in that moment, thanks to the bath foam, but you know that the tricky "Art of Eroticism" plays by its own rules: like that tantalizing effect of your wet body covered in soap’s bubbles... or the sensual thought that you and I were alone in that room... while you were completely naked, a few meters from me... and the simple fact that you could have wanted just me there, at that moment... every of these thoughts was making me crazy!
My look gone up along the sweet curves of your body, up to the splendor of your face - that is the thing that I adore most in you! - and here your eyes have pierced mine like the ones of a predator, making a shiver run down my spine in the certainty that you could read and understood the raw desire on my face, and that you could felt repugnance for it.
At that point I thought you had changed your mind and that you were going to throw me out... instead you leaned forward slightly, in a foamy splash, and - with an unexpected smile - you sanctioned my ruin:
«...so, do you want to “repay” me or not?» you asked, in a mellow murmur.
«O-of course...» I replied with a certain hesitation while my heart was beating like crazy.
«I'm very tired and I have my muscles all sore... I really need a relaxing massage, maybe Escanor, could you...?» you asked, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, with all the candor and seraphic serenity of a saint, passing a hand on your neck with a sigh.
Your request shocked me but, anyhow – given that I'm unable to deny you anything - I reached the bathtub with the same fluidity of movements of a crappy mechanical doll, in a tragicomic sequence of rigid and uncoordinated steps. Like someone who was condemned to the gallows!
I stood behind you watching you passing your fingers through your silky hair, pushing aside those corvine locks, uncovering your gracious neck and your tender shoulders in an implicit invitation. I held out my hands, gathering all the courage necessary to touch you, praying all the Gods - known and unknows - that you didn’t notice that they were shaking in such a pathetic way.
When I pressed my hesitant fingertips on your moist skin, smooth and soft like luxury samite, I died happily and suddenly reborn in the twinkling of an eye.
I began to touch you with extreme delicacy, feeling so clumsy, until you have tilted your head aside to look at me over your shoulder:
«Are you afraid that you can break me?... a little more energy, please!» you exhorted, in a playful way, with a particular light in the eyes.
Once again I obeyed, applying greater pressure in the massage, and the feeling of your flesh under my fingers aroused me instantly in a shameful way.
«Escanor, you have gold hands.» I heard you sigh - a sigh of pure delight - as you abandoned yourself more against the edge of the bathtub, to meet my touch. And the mere thought of giving you a kind of pleasure was making me much more euphoric, drunk with joy and desire.
All proud for that unexpected compliment, and a little less nervous, I even tried to make a joke:
«I’m glad! Maybe I could make it a profitable job!»
You laughed - the most wonderful sound in the world! - and your laughter reverberated in your body, making my fingers tickle pleasantly:
«Escanor “the entrepreneur”… I didn’t know this side of yours!» you exclaimed and then continued in a playful light tone of voice: «You have surely a nose for business! Even Ban mentioned earlier something about it... he said that you even started a commercial business on your own, isn’t it?»
«Yes, I opened and managed a tavern! That's where Ban found me…» I replied proudly, passing an arm on my forehead to pull back my hair, without interrupting my ministrations. And thanks to those light chatter I was almost starting to relax and enjoy the moment. Almost.
«The “My Sweet Gluttony”… it’s correct? It's a really nice name for a tavern…» you jested, glancing me over your left shoulder.
Hearing your words I suddenly winced: I really thinked before that I could "relax and enjoy the moment"? What a fathead! In that moment I felt like a fool for had giving that name to my pub - but I couldn’t imagine at that time that in somehow you could find out! – and, once again, I falled into my embarrassment… because my tavern’s name is nothing but an obvious ode to Merlin, the Sin of Gluttony: a rather explicit statement of my absolute dedication to the sorceress in question.
«It's all water under the bridge! It was destroyed during my fight against Galand and Melascula!» I mumbled laughing nervously, in a vain attempt to change the subject and diminish the issue, continuing to massage you so i could focus on something other than my discomfort. For a moment, I even thought of taking off my magic glasses to let the Sun perform its prodigy, instilling in me some of the proverbial chutzpah of the "diurnal Escanor".
«Don’t worry, when all this will be over... I'll help you rebuild it.» You answered, quite unexpectedly, leaving me in awe once again.
I stopped immediatly, looking stunned and with my hands frozen on your smooth shoulders. I felt terribly guilty for having been able to think, just moments before, that you – my “sweet Merlin” – ever wanted to tease me… for something stupid like a tavern’s name… while instead your only intention was to help me!
«What's up...?» You winced at that abrupt interruption and immediately turned your head towards me, misunderstanding my silence:
«Do you think that I cannot?! With my power I rebuilt an entire city in a single night... your little taver will be a joke!» you said to me, raising an eyebrow defiantly, pouting your lips in a way that I could only define as "adorable".
Never ever hurt a wizard's Ego! I thought, sighing, and then lowering my gaze: «Absolutly not, what are you saying? I know that you’re perfectly capable! It's only that I don’t want to be a burden… certainly you have much more important things to think about...» I told you.
Things much more important... than me, I brooded.
«Nonsense!» You exclaimed, interrupting the flow of my pathetic thoughts, and then you added in a mellower voice: «Do ut des, my dear. Do ut des.»[3] you concluded, softening your lips in an enigmatic smile.
And again… I had the feeling that you were deliberately provoking me.
And what could you possibly want in exchange from me? I thought, without daring to express myself aloud or to look you in the eyes, too shy and insecure to face you in this intriguing game… afraid that I could had misunderstand your words, giving them more meaning than they actually had…
Thus passed some interminable moments.
At last you exclaimed: «My shoulders can’t be massaged by themselves!» breaking that long, awkward silence, and then you shake your back like a filly, clearly exhorting me to resume my duties.
You didn’t have to repeat it twice.
«Yes, Madam!» I answered immediately, starting to draw concentric spirals on your thin shoulders, moving up to your neck... the white alabaster column, beautified by the glorious effigy of the Scarlet Boar...
I’ve to stop with my "lyrical digressions"! I thought and a new, this time, more confortable and sympathetic silence fell between us, broken at times by your sighs of relief when I touched some points of greater tension, easing your soreness. Your body was like clay in my hands: it was an inebriating sensation.
«Tell me, do you still compose poems?» You asked at a certain point, in a velvety voice, placidly reclining your head back against the edge of the tub, and closing your eyes in total relax.
Your lips, suddenly so close, still showed the shadow of a smile.
«Sometimes...» I answered, swallowing.
«I would like to hear something...» you murmured, lifting and opening your right arm out of the water tacitly inviting me to massage that too.
Your most faithful servant desired nothing more than satisfy both of your requests, but when I noticed that - in that new position - the sensual curve of your breasts offered itself freely to my gaze, I lost my words.
In total dismay I realized that the only verses that, overwhelmingly, were agitated convulsively in my mind were nothing but poetries dedicated to the Goddess who sat in front of me.
I inhaled and exhaled noisily, trying to calm down, trying to concentrate on a “neutral zone” of your body, so as to regain control of myself (even if, needless to say... every inch of your body drives me crazy!)
So I tried once more to look at your tattoo, but even the eyes of the Boar that represents your Sin, seemed to blaming me!
I felt my face all ablaze. So suddenly I rushed to massage your extended arm to distract me, drawing whit my fingers every single tapered muscle. I descended slowly to your thin wrist, enjoying every moment, and then welcoming your gentle hand in mine.
I continued massaging the palm, while I observed with dedication your graceful fingers, which now appeared sweet, harmless and trustful within mine, even though I knew very well how powerful they could be thanks to your extraordinary magical power.
«I'm a bit out of practice... I don't know if I'm able to improvise...» I whispered in ecstatic contemplation of your ivory hand. I barely stopped a sudden and shocking impulse to bend down and kiss the back of your hand, the palm, the wrist...!
I fantasized my lips coming back over the same path taken by my fingers before, going up, up to the sensual curve of your shoulder... feverishly describing your alabaster neck, savouring the warm taste of your skin, reaching the softness of your cheeks - with your little, adorable beauty mark - and finally get lost in the sweet perdition of your mouth.
«You should do it, please...» you told me, whispering tenderly, and I felt the caress of your breath.
I immediatly raised my eyes on your face - I didn’t even realize till then how close we were! - and I crossed your honey gaze staring at me, warm and enchanting like amber.
For an insane instant I thought you were no longer talking about "poems", for a wonderful instant I thought to see my own crazy madness in your eyes... like you could answered my most hidden thoughts...
«Lady M-Merlin, I…» whatever I was about to tell you, I was abruptly interrupted by a sudden, excited knock on your door, which brought me back to reality.
Our comrades - Ban and Meliodas - without waiting for any invitation to enter, stormed into the room followed by a more timid and discreet Elizabeth.
Realizing that they had caught and interrupted us in a kind of unexpected situation (not to say "intimate"), they immediately frozen on the threshold.
Because of the embarrassment of the moment, I resumed massaging you laboriously, as a diligent servant, jumping from one side of the tub to the other like a crazy cricket with a burning face.
The three didn’t say anything about it, also because you have been able to keep your usual impeccable aplomb - while receiving them in déshabillé – wearing your perfect mask of indifference. You were even successful - who knows how, who knows when - to materialize a book from nothing in your hand, reading it as if nothing had happened, a truly master in saving the appearances.
So we immediately started to talk about pressing topics, like the reconstruction of Liones and the battle outcomes, and then I noticed with pleasure that at least, that morning, Captain Meliodas seemed to be back to his usual self.
Only Ban - at a certain point, while I was still massaging you - gave me an eloquent look, accompanied by his best feral grin, but at least he had the propriety of not commenting anything on it...
In any case there was no need to say a word, I already knew the opinion of the Fox on this topic: he always presumed that there was "something" between me and you and that I am a blind man not to notice your "signals".
Now I'm alone and I think of you, in my room flooded with the vermilion rays of the setting sun. I chose to remove my magic glasses so I can change, in the body and in the mind, to the particular stage in which the daytime Escanor - like the Sun approaching the sunset - is close to leaving space to the nocturnal one.
This is the exact moment of the day when I can meditate better, in the most objective and rational way possible, because my two natures in antithesis - although for a very short time - manage to find a sort of balance.
I have always believed that Ban was wrong about your presumed "signals" or, because he's a friend of mine, that he always only tried to carry water for my mill and encourage me; but, in the last days - after "the bathtub" and other similar episodes - I also started to believe that it's all true... maybe you've always liked to flirt with me.
By day and by night you are the sweet torment of my heart.
You play with me, like the fire with the moth, and I simply would let myself be consumed by the heat of your flame.
Today after years I hope that could be a chances, or simply I need to believe it, because as far as I am aware of the differences between us, men can’t stop looking at the sky without wishing to own the stars.
And you are the star of my sky, the brightest of the firmament, my only eternal Sun.
Merlin…