Chapter Text
“okay, seriously. who keeps writing on the fucking living room floor with black permanent marker? own up or i’m breaking all of your kneecaps.” a pause, chan’s eyes watching them all intently. “no one’s gonna fuss up? all i’m gonna say is i had to fucking work MAGIC to get that off the floor. i’m thinking it’s either jisung or changbin and if it is, you’re dead.”
“technically,” jisung said, raising his hand slightly up in the air like a timid student trying to correct a teacher’s mistake. “we don’t actually live, you can’t really kill us if we get technical about it.”
“semantics. you’re gonna be in so much pain you’re gonna WISH i could kill you. did you do it? actually, you know what? hey, angels. i’ll give you thirty dollars worth of snacks if you tell me who did it.”
“it was jisung!” screamed the angel trio instantly, evil smirks adorning their faces. who said angels were the good ones? jisung would be the one to say that angels were more evil than demons with their ‘honest to a fault’ mannerisms and ‘cute on the surface but wicked underneath’ appearances. they’re the ones that should be feared!
“HEY! what the fuck, guys! you said you wouldn’t tell! ..ugh, fine. yeah, i did but i didn’t mean to, i swear, chan! i just kinda.. didn’t know that i was using a permanent marker? i needed to make a pentagram for a quick little ritual and i was rushing and you know how bad i am when it comes to short time restricts so! i mean! who was i to think it was a permanent marker? why was there one in the basket of ritual markers? like was it really my fault or was it just an accident?” covering his mouth, he whispered ‘accident’ loud enough to be heard before going stiff as a rod as he awaited his punishment.
chan motioned him to step forward and when he didn’t move, changbin shoved him, causing jisung to stumble and fall onto the ground. clutching his knees to chest, his eyes widened as the betrayal sunk in. he really couldn’t trust a single damn one of them, could he? traitors, the lot of them!
“wait, don’t break my kneecaps, i need them! i’ll do the dishes for a month, just don’t take my precious kneecaps away from me, they need me, i raised them from day one! they won’t survive without me!”
okay, yeah, he was being a little dramatic but he was STRESSED, leave him alone.
“dishes for the whole month and you’re going to throw away every single marker in this house. maybe ten dollars for my labor,” chan wagered.
“fine, whatever, deal!” he didn’t even have ten dollars.
“alright, boys,” chan laughed, clapping his hands together as he began to walk backwards out of the room. what a creepy dude. “that’s all! angels, you’ll get your reward tomorrow. jisung, get to cleaning and leave my money on my desk by midnight. farewell!”
“i bid you adieu~!” shouted the angels.
the gods, the weirdos they are, merely watched the whole exchange with amusement on their faces. the trio got up at the same time (really? synchronized movements?) as they waved goodbye. minho lingered for a few moments longer than the other two, beaming and acting strangely like he got the best present of his life.
“oh, hey, jisung?”
“yeah?”
“i switched all your washable markers with permanent ones. should’ve warned you, huh? oh well, have fun with dishes!” he said, erupting into a fit of giggles as he ran off to the room, shutting and locking the door behind him.
he could hear the laughter from down the hall and it made his blood boil. that little shit! god, he better be glad that jisung didn’t want to face the wrath of the two eldest house members again or he’d be dead! better yet, he’d ploy a scheme so good and foolproof that it’d ruin that moron’s whole entire month as revenge! yeah, that’s it, that’s what he’ll do!
“binnie?” jisung asked, pouting as he looked up at the other.
“nope, i’m not doing it. whatever it is that you’re gonna try to drag me into isn’t gonna happen.”
oh, he was gonna make him do it, huh? he rose an eyebrow, exaggerating his pout even more as he blinked innocently at the other. he was playing up the whole ‘hurt betrayed victim of traitorous friends’ act.
“but binnie! what if it was you who ended up being the poor fool that was on the receiving end of minho’s rotten prank? huh? what if the three of them do something else with you as the target? we gotta hit ‘em where it hurts before they get us while we’re down! devise a plan with me, best friend in the whole world!” as a smirk appears, his voice gets lower and quieter. “or else i’ll tell chan that you were the one who used his precious rubber ducky for a practice ritual.”
changbin gasped, clearly offended. where was loyalty in this house? where was being a good friend who didn’t blackmail you about secrets you told them in confidence? honestly, this was a dog-eat-dog environment and it was exhausting.
“you wouldn’t dare!”
“oh, yes i would! you shoved me to my fucking death! i’m, like, owed this or something! either join me or i’ll make chan bust YOUR kneecaps, bitch!”
changbin, now wearing a look of complete defeat, yanked jisung up by the collar of his shirt rather roughly (which wasn’t needed at all but okay, sure, pick on him some more!). dragging him to their shared room — vacant of chan since he was working in the small office room they have — he threw him on the bed as he sat down beside him with a huff.
“what kind of retaliation are we talking about here, ji?”
“oh,” jisung said as a dark look adorned his features. “i’m so glad you asked.”