Chapter Text
Patton sighed, resting his head against the window of his room, watching the drops of freezing cold water fall to the earth. His room reacted to his aching heart, darkening and starting to freeze. He pulls his cardigan around him tighter, as if it will admonish the coldness he feels in his heart. It had been years… years. And yet the other sides still did not look at him as an equal. It started out fine in the beginning. When Thomas was younger, they all got along swimmingly. Nothing could last forever, though. Something changed around middle school, and suddenly everything was different. No one talked to one another. Everyone looked away, avoiding eye contact or any reason to start up a conversation. Logic had more important things to do. Creativity had a theatre career to pursue, and the imagination at his disposal. Anxiety isolated himself in his room. Patton became lonely.
It is no secret that the heart needs affection, no matter how Patton loathed it. If he wasn’t so needy for some kind of contact, he might have been fine with the forced isolation from the others. Maybe not the hate thrown his way, he was emotions after all, but he'd be better than he is now. He had no idea what brought up the sudden change in them, but one day they agreed that emotions would get Thomas nowhere. Logan and Roman fought for control over Thomas’s future plans, Roman wanting to go into theatre, while Logan wanted to become a teacher or something of the sort. Patton could never keep track of the Logical trait’s wishes. He ended up giving up even trying when no one would give him a chance. Not even Virgil…
Tears streamed down his face with the rain. Patton could barely remember the times he got along with Virgil, but he remembered going into the town to explore with him. Outside of the Mind Palace was fashioned as a town for the sides to live in, basically there as make-belief for the sides to play as humans, with hospitals, cafes, schools and fake buildings for fake people to live in. It wasn’t like Roman’s Imagination, instead, it was completely separate from the Side’s control. Conjured up by the host himself-- Thomas. Patton used to spend a lot of time there with those fake people, but there weren’t many "people" out there. The mind cannot create new faces, it only takes the image of all the people Thomas has seen in his life. This can lead to problems, seeing as Thomas sometimes can only get glimpses of the faces of some people. This makes most of the "people" blurry, and their personalities clouded and dull due to little to none known about their actual personalities. Not to mention Patton had a sort of feeling whenever he talked to one, that they weren’t real. Their skin was cold, not like the sides. They were robots on an automated system.
They wouldn’t give Patton the love he desired, they would barely respond to any advances of friendship anyway. If he wanted the care that he so desperately craved, he would need to somehow convince the other sides to actually like them. This was nearly impossible for Patton, as they didn't care enough to even try. They didn't care for him, not even bothering to ask for his name when they revealed theirs to the host, Thomas. He paused, the yelling from before stopping as whooshes sound from the real world. The others were finally done screaming at each other, and maybe they came up with a solution to whatever Thomas was dealing with. At least a compromise that would soon be inadequate the next day, causing even more fighting.
Patton held his breath as he heard the footsteps heading to the common area, the telltale sound of the TV, and some Disney movie playing in the background. Most likely they resolved the argument by agreeing for a movie night. Patton let out a strangled sob, curling himself into a ball. They didn’t even invite him. Didn’t dare to even look at his door that they pushed to the far back of the house, most likely. Patton was most likely in the back of their minds, repulsed at the thought of him. Patton knew he was spiraling, but he didn't have it in him to care. Patton let out a louder sob, quickly covering his mouth with his hand. He waited in choked silence to see if anyone heard it. The TV still played downstairs, so he was in the clear. He still kept his hand clamped to his mouth, though. He wouldn’t let them hear him. He wouldn’t give them another way to push him around. A whoosh sounded, signaling someone in his room. He quickly whipped his head to see who dared enter his room. He slumped heavily on seeing who it was.
“H-Hey Dee…” He choked out, still sobbing. Deceit immediately dropped his usual indifferent persona, rushing to Patton with a concerned glance.
“Hey, Pat… Bad day?” He sat down next to Patton on the bed, making sure to keep some distance from the emotional trait like a skittish cat. Patton let out a breathy laugh, tears still falling off his chin and onto the stuffed bunny, Mrs. Fluffy Bottom. Dee chuckles at the sight.
“Stole that from Roman’s room again?” Patton holds on tighter.
“He doesn't even use it anymore!” Patton protested.
“Do I have to constantly put it back in his room before he starts looking for it?” At Dee’s words, Patton pulled the stuffed bunny closer, tilting and leaning it away from Deceit, while hissing like a cat. Dee raises his eyebrows, throwing his hands up in a placating manner.
“Whoa there, didn’t mean to frighten ya there. Only joking. You can keep her.” Patton returned back to normal, turning to look out the window.
“They ignored me again today…” Dee instantly turns serious, nodding in sympathy at the side as tears well in Patton’s eyes again.
“Another issue about his emotions, and yet they won’t allow me to help him. I am a side too! I am just as important as them, yet they continually push me away as if I am their enemy! Why can’t they understand that I am just trying to help! I…” Patton suddenly went from anger to sadness as the tears fall from his eyes again. He looked away from Dee, his shoulders drooping.
“I...I don’t g-get it… I-Is it me? Is it s-something I did to make them h-hate me?” Deceit instantly closed the distance, pulling the small side into his arms as he rocks them side to side, cooing at Patton.
“No, no honey. It is their fault for not seeing what a great person you are…” Deceit sat with Patton all throughout the night, shushing his cries until he tired himself out. Deceit laid him back on the bed, tucking the miserable side in comfortably.
His heart went out to the poor side. He didn’t deserve all the hate the others put him through. The poor emotional side just wanted to fit in, to help Thomas in any way possible. He literally had a heart of gold, helping the same sides that treated him immorally. He wished desperately for Patton to get a shot, to show them all he can do. He knew, though... it most likely would never happen. Roman and Logan were too stubborn to see the error of their ways and Virgil... Virgil didn't really care for anything as long as it didn't cause him anxiety. Deceit sank down, still looking at Patton shifting in his sleep, obviously uncomfortable being alone.
Maybe one day he would get to his goal. Deceit had faith in him.