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They’d been apart before. Plenty of times. One of them would inevitably gain interest in another person. They’d ask for a ‘break’. But then, sure enough, after a few months, they’d be back together. It was inevitable.
They were stuck with each other.
This time, though. This time it was different. She had been accepted to a design school in Germany. Germany. That was… an entire ocean. More than an entire ocean, even. She broke the news to him two months before graduation, and it felt like he spent those last two months mourning. She noticed, of course.
“There’s no point in missing me while I’m still here.” She’d tell him. “You need to stop worrying. Live in the moment for once.” And then, she’d kiss him. Assure him that she wasn’t dying, that she’d always come back and visit. He believed her, of course, and he knew he wasn’t really leaving forever, but after seeing her almost every day for the past twelve and a half years, it felt like he was getting ready to lose a limb. Just waiting for the inevitable cut that would change his life.
And then June came, and it got worse.
The two of them were at his house. It was the morning after a graduation party his mothers had offered to host. Most of the guests had left before midnight, a few of his close friends staying. All of them had gone at this point, though. All of them but her.
They were sitting on the back patio when she broke the news to him.
“We should break up.” She said, and it took him a minute to register that. Why would they break up? They’d never really broken up before. Yeah, they took breaks. Had short flings with other people. But he always knew he had her to fall back on.
This was different.
It takes him a minute to form a response, and when he finally does, all that comes out is a soft “Why?” She shrugs, refusing to meet his eyes.
“I’m… leaving. I’ll be across the world. I don’t want us to hold each other back from having experiences. From Living.” She sighs. “C’mon, Braeden. What’s going to happen if you meet someone amazing? Someone new, who’s perfect for you, but you can’t chase after them, because you’ve got me, an entire continent away, holding you back? What if some hottie propositions you and you’re forced to say no because you’re locked into some girl who you can only actually touch twice a year?” He shrugs.
“I... I don’t want to lose you, Amanda.” He admits. And she sighs.
“You won’t lose me. You’ll just gain something new.” He didn’t want to gain something new. He wanted to keep what he had. He wanted to wake up with her next to him. He wanted to feel her hand in his. To have her lipstick prints on his cheek, even if his friends would make fun of him for it.
He wanted her. But it was too late for that now. She was leaving, and he wasn’t. He was going to college two towns over, and she was traveling the world. And this is what she wanted. “If… if you really think so. Yeah. Let’s break up.” He looks over at her, and she looks back, giving him a sad smile. She squeezes his hand.
“I still love you, Bray. And you’ll always be my best friend. I just…” She stops for a moment. It looked like she was thinking.
“…Don’t want to be locked in?” he finishes. She nods.
“Yeah.” The words are almost a whisper. He sighs, and returns the hand squeeze before letting go.
“I love you too.” He says, and it seems like the conversation is over. The two of them sit in silence for a few minutes, until she stands.
“I’d better head home. I told my parents I’d be back by eleven…” She heads for the patio door, but he stands, catching her arm.
“Wait, Amanda, can I..?” He trails off, but she knows what he means, and nods. He presses his lips to hers, and immediately she returns the kiss, but pulls away before he’s ready. She wraps her arms around his waist, hugging him quickly before letting go.
“I’ll text you when I get home.” She says, and disappears into the house. A minute later, he hears the front door open and close. Then the sound of her car starting. And then… she’s gone, with the last four years of his life.