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☆☆☆
You alone are enough for me
Because there’s no need for words, I know by your eyes
Flowers bloom and wither
Every day, every moment, let’s be together
Woojin had never doubted that he’d been destined to find Jihoon. Too many stars had aligned, too many coincidences fallen perfectly into place, there was no question about it. They were simply meant to be.
He could tell from the moment they’d first met, when something inside him had clicked and he’d just known. Being with Jihoon was easy, so much so that he began to hate being away from him because it felt like a part of him was missing. They unconsciously sought each other out, often finding themselves at each other’s sides without realising it. He’d never been sure exactly what they were, if he was to try and label it, the line of a platonic relationship crossed long ago without them ever voicing it out loud. But it didn’t matter because what they had was beyond words, that mystical force drawing two people together that some call fate but for Woojin that was never enough. They were more than that, more than even soulmates. They were two halves of one heart.
Will I be able to smile without you?
Just thinking about it makes me cry
The person who protected me throughout my hard times
Now I will protect you
Your embrace was always warm
It was my only resting place at the end of my long days
Of course he’d known from the beginning that the end would come. Their time was far too limited, all eleven of them increasingly aware of this as the new year drew closer. Woojin wanted more than anything to stop the clock, freeze the moment, because the future was so indefinite that it felt like stepping off a cliff without knowing what was at the bottom. More than anything he didn’t want to leave his new family, the happy place he’d been lucky enough to find and would have been content to live in forever.
He really couldn’t help it, that the faster time ran out, the more closely he clung to Jihoon. He knew it would make the ending all the more painful, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. All that mattered was spending as much time with Jihoon as possible while he still could. He avoided talking about it, scared of ruining the perfect thing they had, wanting to preserve it exactly as it was for eternity in his mind like an unspoiled frozen lake.
But one night in December, Jihoon shattered the ice.
They were shining like the sun
Your eyes when you looked at me
I was so happy I thought it was a dream
Each moment was so dazzling
In my anxious and suffering life
You came to me like a ray of light and made me smile
“What do you think we’ll do next year?” he’d said suddenly, as they lay on Woojin’s bed watching a film together.
Woojin hadn’t known how to respond, mostly because he’d been trying to push the issue down for so long that his brain was now unable to process the concept at all.
Before he could think of an answer, Jihoon continued. “I mean, we’ll still be in the same city, so it’s not exactly worlds apart, and we can message each other all the time. But we’ll both be so busy, and our free time won’t match up like it does now, so meeting up will be harder. We’ll make it work though, right?”
Then he turned to look at Woojin, and read in his facial expression in an instant like he always did.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” he said, voice suddenly full of concern, repositioning himself to properly meet Woojin’s eyes.
Woojin knew he couldn’t speak without crying, but he wasn’t afraid to show vulnerability to Jihoon. The other boy knew him better than he knew himself anyway.
“I’m scared,” he choked out finally, and Jihoon’s face fell. “I’m so scared of losing you.”
Jihoon didn’t reply at first, wordlessly wrapping his arms around Woojin’s shoulders, pulling his head into the crook of his neck and stroking his hair gently.
After a minute he pulled back so that his lips were next to Woojin’s ear, and whispered softly. “You could never lose me.”
The future is unknown
But each moment of being in your arms
I wish it would last forever
Their final few weeks passed by too fast, and Woojin felt like he was stuck in a bad dream as they left the stage after their very last concert. He would have done anything to rewind the weeks, even the years, right back to the beginning before any of this started and live it all again. His future felt daunting and unstable, just for a few seconds, but then he met Jihoon’s eyes and the storm cleared. He realised he didn’t care if they were apart physically, because no amount of miles between them would change a single thing. Their souls were inextricably intertwined, their love so faithful and enduring, their bond utterly unbreakable. And as Jihoon came over to pull him into a tight hug, Woojin finally felt that he could breathe, he could smile, he could look forward to the future brightly. Because he knew that no matter what he would always have Park Jihoon by his side, and that was never going to change.
I’ll go to you when the breeze feels nice
I’ll go to you on sunny days
Just like the day you first came to me
Every day, every moment, let’s be together
“Your music taste is so awful.”
Woojin pulled a face at Jihoon, sitting mere feet away from him, who was holding Woojin’s phone and scrolling through his Spotify playlists.
“It’s not that bad,” he protested.
Jihoon looked at him over the top of his sunglasses, and raised an eyebrow. “You have Celeb Five in your top 20 most played songs.”
“They’re ahead of their time, okay?”
It was a beautiful spring day in April, dainty white flowers beginning to bloom amongst the emerald shards of grass they were sitting on. The sun was beaming warmth out from a bright blue sky, a gentle breeze carrying the delicious smell of their barbecue away into the air. Their original plan had been to go to their favourite park and do this, but despite one journey being over it seemed the fans hadn’t forgotten about them so easily, so they’d retreated back to the privacy of a small patch of grass behind Jihoon’s company building, which could still offer them the picnic they’d fantasised about so many times during those cold winter months.
It had been hard, of course, to spend almost all their time apart. Despite messaging each other during every waking moment, Woojin had missed the physical closeness. He’d spent so much time over the last few months remembering the way they used to lie wrapped up together, feeling every breath each other took, whispering hushed words into the comfortable darkness. But this had made their rare meet-ups, and even rarer nights together, all the more special.
Woojin reached out to turn the meat, which was slowly browning over the smouldering charcoal. “It’s nearly done.”
Jihoon smiled. “Good. Then there’s just enough time for me to play the one good song I’ve managed to find on your phone.”
The gentle notes of a very familiar introduction began to play, and Woojin couldn’t help but smile. The song carried memories, too many to even begin to recount, but they didn’t need to. This song was their story.
“Care to dance, Mr Park?” Jihoon asked, standing up and offering Woojin a hand.
Woojin rolled his eyes, but didn’t hesitate to accept. Neither of them really knew how to slow dance properly but they made it their own, hands holding each other’s waists, Jihoon’s head resting comfortably on Woojin’s shoulder as they rocked gently from side to side. Woojin began to sing the lyrics softly out loud, and he felt Jihoon smile. Eventually the song finished, but they didn’t let go of each other. Woojin didn’t think he could even if he’d wanted to.
As soon as the food was ready they eagerly ate their fill, and then sat talking until the sun began to drop below the horizon, just visible in the gap between Jihoon’s building and the one next door. Without a word they lay back on their blanket, hands intertwined, and watched as the sky turned orange, then pink, then slowly but surely darkened through the purples into a velvet indigo dotted with glittering stars. Woojin could see himself there, forever with Jihoon throughout every eternity, because a love like theirs is older than the beginning of time, and destined to last until the very end.
Every day
Every moment
Let’s be together
☆☆☆