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“Wait, so let me get this straight.” Leo frowns at Jason, trying to get hold of the situation in his sleep-addled brain. “You have girl problems and thought that we were the best people to come to.”
“In case you haven’t noticed, Jason,” Nico adds dryly, sass meter turned up to 11, “we’re gay.”
“I know that,” Jason protests. He’s probably the person that knows this the best besides Leo and Nico themselves, considering he’s caught them sticking their hands down each other’s pants before. That’s what happens when you forget to knock. Leo is unapologetic.
“Then why the hell did you show up at 6 in the morning–”
“You guys are the most stable couple I know,” Jason interrupts Nico’s it’s-too-early-for-this-shit grumbling. “Like, you guys never have any of the big drama some of the others do. I figured, if anyone can help me, it’s you two.”
Leo catches Nico’s eye. Kick him out, Leo pleads silently. He’s a big boy, he can deal with it himself.
Nico, unfortunately, has the heart of a saint. “We’ll help you,” he sighs, crossing his arms. “What’s the problem?”
Leo groans and smacks a hand to his forehead, but Nico just shushes him and yanks him down onto the couch. Leo sprawls all over the couch and buries his head in Nico’s lap in silent complaint (and also because maybe if Nico got hard he’d chase Jason away to get down to business– double win for Leo, oh yeah).
“The thing is,” Jason starts, and Leo know it’s going to be a long speech. He’s about to say something sarcastic and scathing, but Nico threads his fingers in Leo’s hair and effectively shuts him up. Nico knows just how to move his fingers against Leo’s scalp to reduce him to a contented mass of happy noises. As a result, Leo doesn’t really catch most of the speech, but he picks up the bit that matters; the rest is just Jason’s nervous babbling anyway. Nico, on the other hand, listens to every unnecessary word with great patience, and at the very least makes it seem as if he’s actually paying attention. Leo figures the guy’s got lots of practice, being a therapist and all.
“First of all,” Nico begins, sounding exasperated, once Jason’s finished. “Why did you tell Piper you had something amazing planned for your anniversary when you don’t?”
“I don’t know!” Jason wails. “I panicked!”
“Man,” Leo says, turning his face to look at Jason with a judgemental eye. “Beauty Queen’s cool, if you’d just told her you forgot she wouldn’t have cared that much.”
“I know!” Jason moans, burying his face in his hands. “But I didn’t, and now she expects me to give her the stars and the moon tonight and what do I do?!” He sounds hysteric, like he’s on the brink of either having a panic attack or breaking down in tears.
“Calm down,” Nico tells him soothingly, his therapist-voice coming into full effect. “Deep breaths, Jason, can you do that for me?” Jason does, and slowly, he seems to come back to himself. Leo smiles in wonder, because no matter how many times he sees Nico at work, it never ceases to amaze him. His boyfriend is awesome.
“Thanks,” Jason sighs, rubbing his neck. “I just– this is really stressing me out.”
“Yeah,” Leo says. “We can tell.”
“Don’t worry, Jason,” Nico says calmly. “We’re going to help you out.”
“We are?”
“Yes,” Nico replies firmly.
Leo sighs and reluctantly clambers off Nico and the couch to grab his and Nico’s phones from their bedside tables. “Just this once, Grace, you hear me?” he calls from the bedroom. “If this ever happens again, you are on your own!”
“Thank you so much,” Jason says gratefully. “Really, you guys, I owe you both big-time.”
“Make a note of this date in your phone’s calendar,” Nico advises him, “and set it to alert you one week in advance, so this doesn’t happen next year.”
Jason’s doing just that when Leo comes back into the living room and tosses Nico’s phone at him. Nico catches it easily and starts flicking through his contacts. “You calling Bob?” Leo asks him, swiping at his own phone.
“Yeah,” says Nico absently, and presses the phone to his ear.
“Who’s Bob?” Jason asks, but Leo holds up a finger to silence him and puts his own phone to his ear.
“Hey, Dr. Apollo, what’s up?” Leo greets after a minute, wandering into the kitchen so as not to get distracted by Nico’s conversation. “Hey man, listen, I need a favour…”
Ten minutes later, Jason has a reservation for two at Iapetus’ Bar and Restaurant, and a limousine that will take him and Piper there.
“Usually, you’d have to reserve a table in Iapetus’ three months in advance,” Nico tells Jason.
“So you’d better be grateful,” Leo adds, flopping onto the couch.
Jason blinks. “Three months? How’d you–”
“The owner, Bob, thinks Nico’s the best thing since sliced bread,” Leo answers, flinging an arm around his boyfriend. “Ex-client of Nico’s. He always has a table reserved for us in case we want to go there.”
Jason’s so amazed, his mouth is hanging open. It’s a good look for him, Leo thinks. Shows how dumb he is on the inside even though he looks like a Roman god on the outside.
“And the limo?” Jason manages, turning to Leo with wide eyes. “Did you say Apollo? Like, the world-famous doctor?”
Leo shrugs. “Dr. Apollo is a regular customer at Leo and Calypso’s Auto Repair.”
“Came for the auto repair and stayed for the stew,” Nico adds.
“So you called him up and he just lent you his limo? Just like that?” Jason asks, amazed.
“And his driver,” Leo corrects, grinning smugly. “Who’re your best friends?”
“Oh my gods, you guys are the best!” Jason cries, staring between the two of them like he can’t believe his good fortune. “Really, I don’t know how to repay you–”
“Get out of our apartment?” Leo suggests, only half-joking, because he still wants to sleep.
“Don’t screw it up,” Nico says, ignoring Leo. “Gods’ sakes, dress properly. Iapetus’ has three Michelin stars, don’t go in jeans and a T-shirt. You have a suit, right?”
“Uh, yeah, I think so.”
“Puff out your chest when you wear it, man,” Leo advises. “You tall people have a tendency to hunch. Stand straight. You’ll look like Superman.”
“She’ll love it,” Nico agrees.
“Hell, send us pictures, we’ll love it,” Leo adds, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.
“Um,” says Jason, embarrassed and confused. Leo winks at him flirtatiously, because making people uncomfortable is his specialty.
“Bring her flowers,” Nico continues, ignoring Leo’s antics. “Not roses–”
“She hates roses,” Leo and Jason chorus.
“Something unique then,” Nico finishes.
“Flowers are very romantic,” Leo agrees. “100% chance you are getting laid if you bring her flowers.”
Jason frowns like what he’s about to say disturbs him but he just has to ask. “Wait, you two buy each other flowers?”
“Occasionally,” Leo answers, shrugging. “But you know us, flowers, living things, not really our style.”
“What he means,” Nico cuts in dryly, “is that when I buy him flowers he likes to put them in the garage so he can moon over them while he works–”
“Babe, why do you always have to undermine my masculinity–”
“–but he always manages to set them on fire and then get screamed at by Calypso,” Nico finishes, raising his eyebrows at Leo like you absolute idiot.
Jason blinks. “So… what, Leo buys all the flowers in your relationship?” he asks.
Leo opens his mouth to answer.
“Not often,” Nico cuts him off, ignoring Leo’s indignant splutter. “He’s not very romantic.”
“I am wounded!” Leo cries, clutching dramatically at his heart. “I am so romantic, what are you talking about?”
“Leo,” Nico’s voice is sympathetic as he pats Leo’s arm. “Babe, don’t kid yourself.”
Leo makes an offended noise and turns away. “I’m not talking to you,” he sniffs. “You don’t appreciate all the romantic things I do for you.”
“Just don’t be Leo,” Nico tells Jason solemnly, “and you’ll be fine.”
Leo scoffs, but doesn’t say anything.
“I’ll try,” Jason replies, sounding amused. “Thank you both so much. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Cry, probably,” Leo says. “Now get out of our apartment.”
“No really, I–”
“No, really,” Leo interrupts, waving away Jason’s gratitude, “get out of our apartment so we can go back to bed.”
Jason laughs, but thanks them only twice more (that’s an accomplishment, really) before they actually manage to get him out their front door.
“Finally,” Leo groans, and tugs Nico back to bed. “I’m still sleepy.” They cuddle up together under the covers with the usual complaints (“Why are your feet always freezing?”) and share a soft, sleepy kiss.
“Think he’ll be okay?” Nico murmurs when they pull away.
“He’ll be fine,” Leo grumbles, closing his eyes. “Go back to sleep.”
So they do.
--
“A limo,” Piper laughs when the long white limousine pulls up in front of their apartment complex. “First the bouquet of heliotropes, now this? Since when are you this romantic?”
Jason, looking absolutely stunning in his sharp black suit, grins. He opens the door and offers her his hand; she takes it and steps in. “It’s a special day,” he says, sliding in beside her and shutting the door. The limousine starts moving, smooth and easy, and Piper has to admit, she’s impressed.
“Where are we going?” she asks, amazed that Jason managed to get a limousine when she’s pretty sure he’d totally forgotten it was their anniversary until she mentioned it this morning. Jason had looked terrified then; but now he’s relaxed and confident, smiling easily.
“It’s a surprise,” he tells her, and plucks a bottle out of a bucket of ice. “Champagne?” he asks, handing her a champagne flute with a dazzling grin.
“Oh my gods,” Piper laughs, taking it and sipping. “Who are you and what did you do with my boyfriend?”
“C’mon, Pipes, you love this stuff,” Jason reminds her, because yeah, she does, but it isn’t really Jason’s style. “I thought it’d be nice to do something you’d enjoy on our anniversary. Humour me.”
Piper grins at him helplessly, because this man is perfect and she loves him so much. “Alright then,” she agrees. “You look good tonight.” She means it, but something’s different about Jason, something about the way he holds himself. It takes Piper a moment, but suddenly she realises he isn’t hunching his shoulders forward. Instead, he’s sitting tall and proud, his shoulders relaxed, and holy gods it’s a good look.
This man will be the death of her.
Jason seems a little concerned. “You okay, Pipes?”
“You’re not hunching,” is all she manages to say.
Jason laughs shyly, rubbing his neck. “Yeah, I… I’ve been working on it.”
“You look good,” Piper assures him. “Very handsome.”
“Couldn’t embarrass you,” he says. “You look beautiful tonight, Piper.”
She nearly glows with the praise. Though the stunning violet dress she was wearing had been a gift from her mother, Piper had run into a bit of difficulty with hair and makeup. She would have given up entirely if it weren’t for Hazel and Calypso, who stepped in at the last minute and managed to salvage Piper’s poor attempts at makeup with a speed and ferocity she hadn’t known either usually gentle girl possessed.
They pull up in front of a fancy restaurant, and Piper’s jaw nearly falls open when she realises where they are.
“You’re joking,” she gasps, staring at Jason with wide, adoring eyes. “Iapetus’?! This place has three Michelin stars!”
Jason smiles in the way that means he has no idea what that means. “Only the best for you,” he tells her smoothly, exiting the car and coming round to get Piper’s.
“You dork,” she says fondly as she steps out of the limo, her hand in his for balance. “You don’t even know what Michelin stars are, how did you get reservations here?”
Jason shrugs. “Pulled a few strings,” he says, shutting the door and offering her his arm. She takes it, shaking her head in wonder. “You’re the best, Jason,” she tells him warmly, because he really, really is.
Jason Grace is the best boyfriend ever.
--
Nico’s sitting in bed rereading The Two Towers, glasses on his nose, when Leo’s phone buzzes. “Leo, text!” he calls at the bathroom, where it sounds like Leo’s drying off after a shower.
“What’s it say?” Leo’s voice sounds muffled through the door.
Nico puts down the book and reaches over to check. When he sees it he can’t help but laugh. It’s a picture of Jason, standing tall and seeming somewhat embarrassed in a black suit. He looks good, really good. Nico just can’t believe he actually got Piper to take a photo and send it to them, but after reading the message she’d followed up with (Thanks for a wonderful evening, guys! Enjoy ;)), he figures, yeah, Jason never could keep anything from Piper.
Leo emerges from the bathroom, steam curling out behind him, with one towel around his waist, one around his shoulders and one in a turban on his head. It doesn’t make sense that between this ridiculous man and the handsome blonde Superman on his phone, Leo is the one he wants.
“What’s so funny?” Leo asks, coming over to his boyfriend.
“How you’ve ruined my taste in men,” Nico deadpans, showing him the picture of Jason.
“Hot damn,” Leo says, whistling appreciatively. “He looks way better standing straight.”
“And yet I still want to have sex with you more than him,” Nico sighs.
Leo grins and leans over to kiss him, towel-turban and all. “That’s because you love me,” Leo tells him.
“I do,” Nico sighs, “though I don’t know why.”
“I love you, too,” Leo assures him, and even though it’s hardly the first time he’s said it, the words fill Nico’s heart with warmth.