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It was Monday and Yukhei was already awake and ready before you even started your morning routine. He was that early that your mother offers him breakfast and he like every other day declines. You could hear his boisterous laughter from downstairs as he did and almost mouthed his next sentence as you brushed your hair.
“No thank you, ma'am. I already ate at home, I'm only here to pick y/n up.”
Light steps took you down the stairs and to the kitchen where your patient best friend awaited you. His brown eyes met yours and he shot you that infamous grin your whole school talked about. Rumor had it that he once caused an accident with his smile. Which was true he smiled at someone and didn't look ahead which in turn made him walk into a sophomore. That's the same situation from which the rumors came from that when he was still a freshman he already was picking fights with older people. Nothing really happened that day aside you scolding him.
There were as many rumors as he has admirers. People just loved to talk and to fantasize that's all he would tell you when you heard an especially nasty one and then, well, he would give you that infamous smile of his. You did not understand how he could stay so unbothered about them, some if not all the rumors where ludicrous bordering on insulting.
“Let them talk if it's what makes them happy. It doesn't affect my friends or me, so who cares,” was what he would say between peals of laughter after you told him a really infuriating one.
“I care!” you'd shout and he would laugh again.
It was all a well-known routine by know. Every scenario occurred once or more in your history together. Every morning and every day the same. Nothing majorly new ever happened, he would pick you up, you rode the bus to school together and attend classes. Then you ate lunch together with Mark and Donghyuk. Sometimes Chenle and his friend Jisung joined but only if Chenle felt like giving Yukhei - or Xuxi how he preferred to call him - a few jabs here and there or when he just had to share what Kun did in college or rather what unfortunate event haunted him there.
(It was honestly unbelievable how much trouble the poor boy attracted. Once his whole apartment was flooded. His neighbor and friend Sicheng didn't notice the burst pipe because Kun himself invited him out for pizza. Ironically or rather luckily they decided to take their food back home because it looked like it was going to rain, and they discovered the leakage early enough to prevent any major damage.)
Then you either hung out at his to play video games or you would go over to yours to do homework, so both of you wouldn't get tempted to ditch your educational tasks and bash each other's head in Smash Bros. On Monday he had his track and field practice so you would sit on the bleachers and wait for him with Mark. On Wednesday you had drama club so he would sit in the seats and wait for you. On weekends you either went out together or just watched a movie sometimes with Mark, sometimes without him. And nothing could change that not even Senior Year.
You've known him for ages so it was no wonder. Yukhei was the kid in kindergarten to goof around, being loud and boisterous to keep the mood up and everyone entertained. One fateful day he kind of messed up. It was nothing serious but it was a beautiful anecdote you sometimes brought up just to make him laugh and a tad bit embarrassed. So Yukhei had this one trick, a running gag that would make everyone break out in laughter. He'd put gummy worms in his nose and well the kids died of laughter. It was all fun and games until he got gummy bears instead of worms and those are noticeably shorter than their worm brethren. A fact that he didn't consider because he just didn't think about it. At all. Anyways a red gummy bear got stuck high up in his nose and everyone panicked him included. Someone ran to the teacher and because you were right beside Yukhei you felt like you had to calm him down because he was about to bawl his eyes out any second now. You could see it. His lips were quivering, his eyes were really big due to shock and slightly watery. His shoulders tensed up as you settled your hand there.
“Hey, don't cry. The teacher will be here and help you,” you said as calmly as possible. At least you thought you sounded calm. But your hands were getting clammy.
He turned to you, his eyes were full of fear.
“What, what if I die?” he asked and the first sob came through. As if he had a true taste of mortality on his lips and wasn't ready to explore it any further. You weren't quite sure if one could die of a gummy bear stuck in one's nostril, you considered it to be unlikely. But you weren't that sure either, what medical knowledge could a 4 year old have? What if Yukhei really died here? Another sob and tears followed that his small hands tried to hurriedly wipe away.
Then you took his hand and looked at him. Tears were forming at the corner of your eyes but determination filled them to the brink. You couldn't let him die here!
“You won't. Because we gotta play together tomorrow,” your hand gripped his stronger and he stared at you, his eyes already swollen and tears smudging his face. Visibly stunned by your declaration before he relaxed and the look in his eyes turned softer. Something new and he just smiled.
“Ok,“ he meekly whispered with a voice so small if your attention wouldn't have been fully on him you could have missed it. But it was so you smiled reassuringly back. Your teacher arrived and you held his hand until they got that gummy bear out of his nostril. The end of the story was that Yukhei was treated like a war hero, gummy bears got banned from the kindergarten and you were stuck with him. And to this day he was wary of gummy bears. Especially the red ones.
And even though every day felt like a well-known rhythm between you two, it wasn't outworn or old. It felt like a well-practiced dance, every time you got to dance it again it only got more beautiful, more detailed and more in synchronization. He was after all your best friend, Wong Yukhei. How could any day with him be boring?
“What took you so long, slowpoke?“ he said mirth lacing his voice and you rolled your eyes.
“I didn't even take that long. Not everyone can be as fast as you are, Road Runner,” you jabbed back to which he only laughed. You said bye to your Mother and left the house. Both of you followed the usual path to the bus station or at least you wanted to. But Yukhei just stood there which prompted you to turn around in wonder. Only to be met with another one of his grins. But this one was different it was not the polite one to greet strangers and pupils he barely knew and still made them swoon. This one was smug like he knew something you didn't and that was rarely the case. “What's up? We're going to miss the bus if you don't use those long legs properly.”
He only grinned wider. One of your eyebrows moved up. “We won't be relying on the bus today, dear Ms. y/n,” the boy said in a more than just slightly smug tone.
“Oh, we won't?” you humored him though your eyebrow was still up. “Then what are we relying on today, dear Mr. Yukhei?”
“My driving skills,” And he started to lean against a car you recognized as Kun's old car. It was easily recognizable because of the hideous lime colored paint job. He must have been high when he decided to repaint that car and every time Kun gave you and Lucas a ride back home you had the inkling that he kind of regretted his choice. Maybe he just lost a bet. He never was a lucky one after all.
“Oh my god! He really gave it to you?” you asked shocked by the fact that the older boy really kept his word.
“He did promise me that if I got my driver's license I could have his car. Well, it was either me or Lele but as I am the first one to make it, so this baby's mine now.” He gave the car an affectionate pat. “Now get in loser, we going shoppin'. ”
That earned him a good-natured eye roll but how could you refuse. In the back of your mind, there was a small ounce of resistance but you quickly suppressed it like the bitter afterthought it was. If you wanted to get to school on time you had to get in the car, there was no other way.
_____________________________
School was really not that exciting. Meeting all your friends you only ever met in school was maybe a bit exhilarating but after a quick catch up and some shared giggles, it all lost its novelty. Watching Yukhei almost falling asleep in Literature Class was way more entertaining. He always was especially exhausted the day after track and field practice. Also, you were talking about Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and he just really loathed Victor. Mark and you took turns in poking his cheek with one of your pens. The one to wake him up had to buy the next Ben & Jerry's bucket for movie night. Normally no one would have minded. You sat at the back row and Yukhei didn't snore. But your teacher wasn't that pleased to see you guys quite literally poking fun at one of her students.
“Do you mind explaining the class what I was talking about, Mr. Lee?”
Mark froze, his pen was clearly going for his friend's cheek before coughing awkwardly and lowering the pen. As if it would help in any way. Considering the sour expression your teacher had it didn't seem that successful if at all.
“You were talking about the narrative in Frankenstein?” his voice raising slightly as if asking a question instead of answering it. You tried to wake up your best friend as discreet as possible of course.
“And what did I say specifically, Ms. l/n?” she prodded further.
Your cheek twitched, you had no clue you didn't even read the lecture because it was so boring. Your only reliable source was the SparkNotes site you had read 5 minutes before class. “That it is a postal novel?”
She didn't seem pleased with your answer. “The term you were searching for was epistolary novel. But what does that mean for the narrative situation in Frankenstein? Mr. Wong, I see that you have finally decided to grace this class with your mental presence.”
Yukhei drowsily awoke. He looked at you both in confusion before simply saying, “Frankenstein's narrative is especially complex because it's an epistolary novel. First of all, we start with Walton writing his sister in several letters about a man who in turn tells him a story. But then again it is not Walton's perspective we are reading about but rather Victor's - when he tells his story at least. And then there is the Monster's story. Which is another story embedded in Victor's story and then again in Walton's story.”
That did seem to please her. “At least one of you acts like a senior year student.”
While it didn't bother you that you hadn't known the answer to the question it did bother you that your teacher deemed you not senior like. Your antics might have been a bit childish but that didn't mean she could just dismiss the 12 years of hell you have gone through! That thought irked you throughout the day. Or rather than that it was a reason to start mulling over your future again, something which had been a reoccurring event for you since your first meeting with your guidance counselor. Admittedly you weren't the most diligent student but that didn't mean that you weren't as worried about your future and what college you should attend. At first, college was a faraway dream, outlandish and foreign, now it felt like impending doom. You really loved your static life. While for some people it felt like punishment and horror to walk the same path, again and again, you only felt appreciation for routine. There was a certain contentment that comes with knowing what was next in almost every situation. Change was horribly overrated in your opinion. Even if high school was boring and stressful at least you had your friends. At least you knew that they were there for you and always had your back.
Sensing your bad mood – he always could even from miles away – Yukhei nudged you softly with his elbow. “Hey don't worry. I wouldn't have known the answer too if I hadn't asked Jungwoo about it.”
A crooked smile spread on his face and you felt your mood lift. Your chuckle only made his smile grow. “How typical of you, Road Runner, ” you mused. Your heart fluttering only minutely.
Some things never changed like Yukhei's dependence on Jungwoo's literature knowledge. Or the joy of making Yukhei smile. You only hoped things between you and your best friend never changed too even after graduation.
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“What?” was muttered drowsily and more curious than annoyed into the speaker. A quick glance at the clock told you it was 3 AM and whyever Yukhei thought it was a good idea to call you at such a time he better hurry up. You might fall asleep again in the next few minutes.
“Come out. I would throw pebbles but I don't want to wake up your parents and I don't want to break your window again.”
If you weren't so dysfunctional right after waking up you would have maybe answered in words. But all you managed to do in your endlessly tired state was a soft chuckle and a nod. Even though he couldn't see it.
You got your jacket and shoes and were not a bit surprised to see a lime colored car and a brightly grinning boy in front of your house. The street lights didn't do his beauty justice was the first thought that crossed your sleep driven mind as you stepped closer to him. But the shadows due to bad lightning also had their charm.
“Let's go for a drive!” he exclaimed excitedly but nonetheless hushed. He knew that his voice could be very attention attracting at times.
“It's like almost 4 AM,” He nodded at that. His eyes gleamed with zest for action and lust for life. “And you called me out for a drive?” He nodded again even more excited at the prospect of spending time with you at such a godforsaken hour.
Wordlessly you went over to the passenger seat to which Yukhei triumphantly albeit silently celebrated. At least it wasn't cold in his car. While you had no qualms about lounging around in your pajamas in front of your best friend you did mind that it wasn't protective of the weather as normal clothing. After all, pajamas were made to be worn in the house so it was not a surprise, though nothing really beat your sleeping attire in comfortableness. So you sunk into the seat and let your head loll to the side. A yawn escaped before you asked him, “Where are we going anyways?”
Perhaps it was the night and the dim light of the street lamps but there was something almost loving around the edges when his gaze met yours. A small chuckle resonated in the car as he fixed your bed hair. Affection apparent in every stroke. But maybe it was a late daydream conjured by wishful thinking and drowsy desire. Whatever it was you took what you could get.
“You will see when we're there.”
Slowly your eyelids closed again but only for a short amount of time as after a few minutes you heard the engine of the car stop. One confused look at your surroundings made you realize that he just drove you to the edge of town.
“Did you really just drive us a little bit out of the suburbs into the fields?” The realization made you wake up a bit more and your skeptical tone hinted that you weren't really impressed by the choice he made.
“Yes, I did!”
You frowned and then watched him as he got out of the car and opened the trunk. The boy took something out and wandered over to your door grinning at you expectantly. Regret settled in as you decided to open the door. It was cold, very much so and you did not like feeling cold. A shiver ran down your spine and you eyed him with a bit less adoration and more malice then you did most of the time. Not that he would notice anyway. Your arms were crossed and your gaze doubtful but that did not stop him, nothing ever could. A beige picnic basket was in his left hand and his right hand took yours as soon as you were fully out of the car and dragged you in front of the car.
“Let's watch the stars and talk about life and all that jazz! And maybe we will see the sun rise but I think you will have fallen asleep until then so I will just drive you home. I know,” he said while he more or less gracefully placed a checked blanket on the hood of his car, “that you freeze really fast. But! I have a solution!”
“Blankets?” you asked him as dry as ever as he got even more out. But you nonetheless sat down on the hood and waited for his preparations to finish. He threw a red blanket at you which you quickly used to cover your legs.
“And hot cocoa. With whipped cream and mini marshmallows.” He gave you two mugs with whipped cream and cocoa only after he strategically placed the marshmallows in your lap. Finally, he sat down next to you, wiggling a bit to get some of the blanket for his legs too and then he draped the last blanket around his and your shoulders. You give him his mug and he just smiled thankfully. A satisfied sigh escaped him as he took a sip of the beverage.
“But why here? We could've just watched them from my room,” You munch on the marshmallow while relishing on the rich taste of chocolate your cocoa provides you with. You smile as you realize that he made the dark hot cocoa and not the milk chocolate one.
His shrug made the blanket move up and down slightly. “I mean yes. But the stars shine so much brighter here were no lights reach them and I just felt like you might want to see this too.”
Out of the corner of your eye, he looked mesmerizing, marveling at something bigger than he was. His eyes were full of fascination and you might have been mistaken but the starlight was seemingly reflected in his iris. Then you followed his gaze.
“You're right. I wouldn't want to miss this.”
Silence settled in. Occasionally there was a rustle from the crinkling plastic of the marshmallow packaging but aside from that, you both didn't talk. It was the kind of silence that came naturally when you knew a person long enough. There was no urge to talk to fill the silence because you don't know what the other person was thinking and you were too occupied with the thoughts of how you were perceived by the other person. You didn't need to actively shape what Yukhei was thinking about at the moment and it was just silence because you did not want to talk yet. It felt like you were the only two awake at this hour.
After a while, you wondered. What made the boy suddenly drive over to yours and take you out of the city? While he played the clown in school to entertain he wasn't just random for the sake of being random. And he was fully prepared for this so he must have at least a rough plan of what he was going to do tonight.
Then you wondered if you should maybe talk about what was on your mind. The night, after all, had this lovable effect on everyone just to spill their deepest thoughts and wishes. Perhaps it was the moon. Everything seemed so soft and forgiving in the moonlight. You thought about telling him about how scared you were of graduation. About leaving your family and being forgotten by your friends. Time was a cruel mistress after all. You were scared of university and moving away, you were pretty sure you were going to die from homesickness. You were scared of leaving home and never seeing your best friend again but what scared you the most is how much Yukhei meant to you and how horrible it would be for you to move away from him.
You weren't airheaded you knew that you had already fallen head over heels for this stupidly wonderful boy but who were you to confess? The feeling of being left behind by Yukhei was always there for you. He was already storming to the next thing, jumping over the next hurdle while you couldn't even match his speed. This car you were sitting on was another reminder of your inability to be as fast as your best friend. You started to do your driver's license at the same time and yet he was driving you through town while you didn't know how to use a stick shift. He was the road runner and you were not even Wile E. Coyote. At least that goddamn coyote tried to catch the road runner, you were too much of a coward to attempt such a thing. You were just a slowpoke. That was all.
With every new thought, you felt your chest tighten a little bit more. You felt alone but not with him. You just felt lonely and you weren't so self-destructive to let this feeling just eat you up.
“Yukhei.”
A soft whisper and his attention was all yours. It was on the tip of your tongue to tell him everything. Your fear and the thing that made you doubt yourself in your friendship with him. Your adoration for him.
But old habits die hard. The nighttime must have got you because your emotions were slowly but surely threatening to spill over and you might cry over this spilled milk. So you opted for something safer. Something to quell your rabbit heart but something that wouldn't just expose the chinks in your armor.
“Can you promise me that when we enter college you won't just go off with your new friends and we lose contact?”
His eye widened. Then he looked almost upset at the thought of it.
“I would never!”
“Good. I don't want to meet you during holidays in town and be all awkward around you because we don't talk anymore.” You chuckled weakly as if to lighten the mood but he wasn't airheaded either.
“Listen y/n. I would never forget or just leave you. I've known you for ages! You saw me do the most embarrassing stuff. You have seen me at my lowest and you still are here. Hell, you saw me covered in ants once because I fell asleep with a Popsicle during summer in my garden. If you think that I would just leave you like that, you are sorely mistaken.”
Your head hung low and you warbled out a laugh he wasn't convinced with. His brows furrowed. It sounded an awful lot like you were close to crying and if he prided himself in one thing then it was that he never made you cry and he wasn't going to start tonight.
“I won't leave your side until you get tired of me and tell me to go away.”
You glanced up. Then you gave him a crooked smile. Still a bit wobbly but much more convincing than before.
“I would never.”
Reassurance coursed through your system and filled you with warmth. Once again silence filled up the space between you but this time doubts stayed away from your thoughts.
“So, how's drama club?”
You snorted ungracefully and ate another marshmallow before answering. “You were there last Wednesday. But the costumes are almost done, I only have to do the final fitting and adjust a bit if the actors aren't satisfied or uncomfortable.” You took another sip and then something you almost forgot because of the stress your final play was causing came back to mind. “Oh! And I sent Doyoung some pictures and he was straight up smitten. He was so proud of my work, he said that I could wear whatever I wanted to prom he would make it. And he asked what kind of suit you wanted to have too.”
He shrugged. “What color are you going to wear?”
“Probably something navy blue? Or anything that goes well with Mark's suit really.”
At the mention of your mutual friend, he went wide eyed. “Why Mark?”
“Because I'm going to prom with him? As friends of course. Not everyone can be as loved and sought after like you.”
A small laugh escaped your lips but when your gaze shifted to your best friend he was clearly pouting.
“Is the great Wong Yukhei sulking now?” You nudge him playfully with your shoulder but he didn't stop. “I thought people were quite literally fighting over you to go to prom with why are you all pouty now?”
“But it's no use if I don't like any of them. It wouldn't be fun at all,” he mumbled.
Something akin to disillusion crept through your lovelorn heart. You had to really stop getting your hopes up because of every minor thing that happened. It wasn't healthy for you. But if you could only indulge once maybe it would be satisfied.
“Then let's go to prom together. I'm only Mark's pity date anyways. I know a bunch of people asked him out and he only turned them down because of me. And if I dump him, he will finally muster up the courage to ask the person out he meant to ask out for an eternity now. “
“Oh, you mean that cute part-time barista from his biology class he always gushes about?”
“Yup that's the one,” you nodded. “Anyways, I can't promise you to become Prom King with me by your side, what I can promise though is dumb dance moves and not stepping on your feet constantly.”
“Sounds like the perfect evening to me.”
He drove you both home after the sunrise. You had been wide awake after your successful invitation, giddy from euphoria and positively excited. It was only a date between friends but the thought made you genuinely happy. Another band-aid to calm your aching heart and maybe you will get over it after all. Maybe if you feed your heart with a watered down version of its desires you can finally satisfy it.
________________________________________________
Amid stress because of your graduation and troubles because of your theater production prom was suddenly closer than ever. Your ever so reliable senior Doyoung kept his promise and to your joy, he did not change any major parts about your design, only more praise was sent your way and you really had the feeling that he missed doting on someone.
That certain someone was very happy when he heard that you had the guts to ask Yukhei out, Mark had been annoying you for ages already to ask your idiot of a best friend out. Albeit his critique regarding your actions was really hypocritical as you liked to point out. He still hadn't asked his crush out but he insisted that it would be fine. It irked you that he didn't act on his obvious feelings. A soft sigh escaped your lips as you thought about your dear friend and his inability to ask someone out. But as you fixed your hair and observed yourself in the mirror, you understood at least to some extent why he wasn't going to do it.
You heard his laughter from downstairs, he must be happily chatting with your parents. You gave your reflection one last glance and then a nervous smile before you went downstairs. Unconsciously taking two steps at the time when you saw Yukhei waiting in front of the stairs with your parents.
All eyes were on you and you smiled bashfully when you came down. Your parents both exuding almost as much as happiness as your best friend.
“Sorry that I took so long, I wasn't satisfied with my hair,” you mumbled. Something in you urging you to check again but you would be late for prom if you went back to your room again and redid everything.
“You look perfect to me. Let's go, slowpoke.”
He took your hand and heat involuntarily rose to your cheeks. You both said goodbye to your parents and he promised to drive you home safely. Your heart was hammering away in your chest and there was no end in sight. Not when you picked up Mark or when you arrived at the place the prom was held and certainly not when you both aligned for the opening waltz.
Although you were sure your heart was giving up any moment now, considering the pace it was beating at, one glance at Yukhei told you that he wasn't that well off either. Hell, if you weren't mistaken he was even more nervous than you and the waltz didn't even start yet. Maybe you were just projecting on him but you felt like you had to calm him down because he looked like he was about to throw up any second now. You could see it. His lips were quivering, his eyes were really big, flitting nervously from side to side as if to avoid eye contact. His shoulders tensed up as you settled your hand there.
“Hey, calm down. It's just a dance,” you said as calmly as possible. At least you thought you sounded calm. But your hands were getting clammy already.
He turned to you, his eyes were full of nervousness.
“What if I step on your feet?” he asked and a sigh came through. As if he was disappointed for being such a bad dancer and he didn't want to show it. You weren't quite sure if he was that nervous because of his skills or rather the lack of it but you considered it to be unlikely. He wasn't that bad but still, his hand slightly fluttered on your waist as if to not touch you. He seemed to be nervous because of something else. But you weren't that sure either, what kind of judgment could a person cast that was head over heels for their object of judgment. If you weren't mistaken, if your heart wouldn't beat so loudly you would almost say Yukhei was nervous because of you. What if Yukhei really liked you?
Then you took his hand and looked at him. Your eyes wide as his but determination filled them to the brink. You would have to find that out but first the waltz.
“You won't. Because we'll be just fine. And even if you do just give me a piggy back ride back home,” your hand gripped his stronger and he stared at you, his eyes are no longer trying to avoid yours. Visibly stunned by your declaration before the look in his eyes melted into something softer. Something that has been there for a long time and he just smiled.
“Ok,” he whispered in a voice so soft if your attention wouldn't fully be his you could have missed it. But it was, always. The music started and you smiled back.
Throughout the waltz, he did step on your foot (several times) but all you both did was laugh it off. You even bumped into Mark and his partner – on accident of course though you both did have a great time because of that – when Yukhei tried to twirl you. You both gave him a real smug grin when you saw who his partner was and Yukhei even gave a very not subtle wink. But you were soon back to dancing being to absorbed by one another to bother Mark again for the duration of the dance.
The waltz ended and there was this twinkle in his eyes. Or maybe it was the way how he managed to look gorgeous even though he messed up his tie and his hair was a bit messy from running his hand through it. Whatever it was he was breathtaking more so than he always was. You smiled and were about to say something you would probably not regret. But he beat you to it.
“Do you want to drink something?” He said it fast. Almost as if he had a shortcut reaction and you wondered if he meant to say something else instead.
“Why not,” you agree easily. You had waited for a decade and a bit more already. What was another evening? You both got Sprite and just stood on the side. Occasionally giggling when you saw Mark busting out some moves. After he did this ridiculous move where he went fishing for both of you, you gave in and danced the night away with all those cheesy moves and a lot of laughter. Graduation always felt so horribly grave but right now you were having the time of your life and you were glad you got to spend this night with two of your most beloved people.
But everything had to end somehow. In this case, it ended with you sitting in the front seat of Yukhei's car singing happily with Mark to Adele. And while the oldest out of your group always said he only got that CD because you guys loved Adele he was singing almost louder than you both together. He dropped Mark's date off first and then Mark. He always drove Mark home first because his house was closer. So it was to be anticipated that you both ended up alone together.
You didn't say much after Mark left the car and you bid him farewell. Somehow there was a nervous air around both of you. It didn't help that Adele sang her heart out for you. 'All I Ask' was a great song but it really didn't help to calm your feelings. Luckily Mark didn't live all too far away from your home so the awkward silence only lasted for a short time. The car stopped in front of your house and you were about to get out the car but Yukhei ran to your door and opened for you. Then he turned his back to you and dropped to his knees. Your initial confusion turned into peals of laughter.
“Come on. I promised you I'd give you a piggy back ride back home if I step on your feet.”
Of course, you'd let him carry you to your front porch, the few steps that were left that is. After letting you down you both stood there. The night was silent as it was already late and almost everyone was most likely asleep by now. It seemed like only Yukhei and you were left. Awake and both grasping for words to say. The light-hearted atmosphere dispersed into the crisp night air and you were both back to awkward silence. There was something both of you had on the tip of their tongue but were too afraid to say. It was almost physically palpable.
But you had to tell him now. Before you lost all your courage and would never tell him altogether.
“Yukhei.”
And he instantly perked up. You took a deep breath. Then you looked up at him. He was way too tall for his own good you'd have to meet him halfway if you kissed. “Can we not go to the cinema tomorrow?” He kind of looked deflated almost disappointed but nodded nonetheless. Sometimes you had the feeling he would do everything if you only asked him to. “And maybe – but only if you want to – go on a date?”
He was genuinely surprised. His eyes fully blown wide and his mouth slightly ajar. Then the look in his eyes just melted into pure joy and he started to giggle. He tried to stifle it but it seemed no matter how hard he tried all he could do was laugh. You wondered if he lost it.
But before you could take your offer back and wallow in self-pity you heard him say:
“Oh god, I'm sorry. It's just you always beat me to it. No matter what I try you are always a step faster than me,” He chuckled and he took your hand. Loosely almost as if to leave you room to withdraw. “I would love to. But only if you want to.”
“You are such an idiot. I literally just asked you out.”
He pursed his lips. “Yeah, but you could have realized that you might not want to go out with me? Like a second ago I was a giggling mess.”
“You are always a mess Yukhei with or without giggles. But that's what I have liked about you since 8th grade now, so I guess that's more than fine with me,” you shrugged nonchalantly but you felt your heart beat a million miles per hour when you saw the look of adoration in his eyes. Suddenly it was too much and you had to avert your gaze. Reality hit you all at once and you just realized that you had confessed your infatuation with him that you harbored for years now. Heat rose to your cheeks.
“Then I suppose we are both idiots for not saying something earlier. I mean since kindergarten is an awfully long time.”
If you thought you couldn't get any warmer he just proved you wrong. You peeked up only to be met with a smile as soft as it was brilliant. If you had to choose this was your favorite smile. Delicate but nonetheless beautiful.
“Ok. I've gotta go, even though I'd love to stand with you at your front door and hold your hand until the sun rises. But I have an important date tomorrow and I can't miss my beauty sleep.”
You gave him a good-natured eye roll but let go of his hand nonetheless. From now on there will be a lot more chances to hold hands. “You don't need it but good night anyways, Road Runner.”
The boy smiled and said, “Good night to you too, slowpoke. See you tomorrow on our date.”
You closed the door softly behind you and let go of a breath you didn't know you were holding. Your cheeks were close to hurting from all the smiling you had done in the last few minutes but it was all worth it. Sometimes change wasn't all that bad, you mused as you watched your phone lit up with messages of Yukhei with an obsessive amount of varying heart emojis.
And while you typed your reply you finally felt like you caught up to him.