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Louis isn't sure there's a way to explain the feeling of being locked in a closet. Physically or socially.
When he'd been thirteen, he'd gotten himself locked in a utility closet at school. It was a few hours before a janitor found him.
It was funny at first. Amusing. He took his time looking through all the shelves, but there wasn't that much to distract him and he was starting to feel claustrophobic by the time Jim arrived. That was the janitor. He'd warned Louis not to do it again and sent him on his way.
Louis put himself in a closet on X Factor. He had a girlfriend and he let everyone believe he was straight. Hannah had been great - he'd really cared about her. He had. He just hadn't realized that the way he cared about her wasn't going to compare to the way it felt when a curly-haired boy smiled at him.
He still doesn't believe in love at first sight.
Harry insists it was love at first sight, but Louis still argues that it was lust at first sight - love came around later.
They left X Factor and were shoved further into a closet. Louis hated seeing his beautiful boy hiding the way he liked to paint his nails and the way he wanted to hold Louis's hand all the time and the out-and-proud attitude he'd grown up with. Louis hated it, but there wasn't a great alternative.
He grew tired of the way they'd get a lecture every time they looked at each other too much on stage. The way Harry would just want to sit next to Louis and they'd be told that wasn't allowed.
He pushed down the desire to propose to Harry for years. He didn't think it was fair to keep Harry from announcing their engagement. Harry assured him that those who mattered knew. There were people who knew how much they loved each other. Their families were fully supportive of them. Their friends teased them about their love-sick looks and inability to keep their hands off of each other. They were the ones that mattered, yes, but Louis still wished there was a way for everyone to know.
Still, it took a while for Louis to believe that Harry would be just as okay with a secret engagement as he was with a secret relationship - as long as it was with Louis. Louis got down on one knee and proposed. Harry said yes.
The next morning, he asked him again. Harry giggled and kissed him.
It didn't solve their problems. It created a few of its own. But Louis and Harry both chose to be happy. Maybe not every minute of every day, but they had each other and they had the hope of someday.