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Tony wondered if Homer Simpson had the right idea to strangle his son Bart when he did something wrong. Right now, as he watched in almost slow-motion how Dumm-E slapped a magnetic strip with “Jarvis is my co-pilot” on Barnes’ metal arm over his red star. The next second he realized Dumm-E has no neck so his effort would have been futile. So he resigned himself to watching this moment unfold.
He held his breath for what felt like an eternity until he actually saw the corner of Barnes’ mouth twitch in an attempt at a smile and the awkwardly pat Dumm-E’s claw. The robot beeped happily at his metal armed friend and then went on with his chores. Tony stared wide eyed at the interaction before quickly turning back to his work so Barnes won’t see him staring.
Barnes was awkward around his bots, as if he was afraid to not scare them, but it was miles away from the cold stares and silences that the others incited from him. Even after months since he was dragged to the tower by an exited Steve and exasperated Sam he still was reluctant to lower his guard, not even around his once best friend.
At least he listened to Steve, even if he didn’t seem to like him or completely trust him, because his interactions with the rest of them lacked even that. Natasha and him avoided each other and when they were in the same room Tony could swear that he was looking at a nature documentary in which two predators were sizing each other up. He tolerated Clint’s presence, but never let him in his blind spot. He lets Sam drag him through activities made to win his trust, but he leaves the moment they are done. He seemed to like Bruce and Thor. Bruce shared sometimes a cup of tea with him in his roof garden and Thor was the only one that Barnes spared with since the God has thick skin but Barnes has no memories of him from before. And what a sight they made, both shirtless and with their long hair gathered up in messy buns or intricate braids that Thor taught him to braid. Tony might have lingered more than necessary with his daily treadmill runs just to admire them a little. His attitude towards Peter resembled his one for the bots. He was careful with him and sometimes a fond smile graced his lips as the hyper teen explained memes to him.
And that left him, he had no idea where he stood on Barnes’ danger radar. He just knew that one day he came down to the workshop and from then one kept returning. Tony still had to struggle not to blush when he remembered that day. He was on day three and a half on his inventing binge when he decided a quick power nap was unfortunately required. He went to the couch he kept in a quieter corner of the workshop and threw himself on it. Only to land on a hard chest and abs. Tony and Barnes stared at each other equally baffled by the situation, until Tony’s brain rebooted and slowly got up and went to his bedroom. He needed sleep to process that.
Despite their awkward encounter, Barnes kept coming back, and that led to his friendship with Tony’s bots and even JARVIS seemed to have a soft spot for the ex-assassin, but without doubt, Dumm-E liked Barnes the most, since he could throw the tennis ball farther than Tony could and was strong enough to play tug of war with scrap metal, unlike Tony. So now Tony watched as Dumm-E when back to Barnes from time to time to poke at the magnetic strip proudly and chirp happily at his friend.
A few days later after The Incident as Tony called it, Barnes came down again and Tony almost dropped the blow torch he was using when he saw that the man left the magnetic strip where Dumm-E put it on his arm. The bot greeted his friend and poked at it before wheeling around in a sort of happy dance and Tony was shocked again when he saw that Barnes was actually smiling at it.
In that interaction Tony saw an opportunity to help Barnes lower his guard and maybe chip at his armor a little bit. So he discretely started looking for magnets and magnetic strips for Dumm-E to choose from so they could switch them up a little bit.
The first one Dumm-E picks is a classic I heart New York design and Tony watched as Steve’s eyes softened and his mouth curved in a small smile every time he caught sight of the magnet. A few days later he picks a fried egg one and Tony was confused by the choice until he heard Barnes’ quiet laughter when Dumm-E stuck it over the star. Tony saw even Natasha crack a smile at that one and lo and behold Barnes just nodded at her and continued eating his orange slices.
That encouraged him to buy more and more magnets and as random as they could be. Barnes seemed a little more relaxed around the team with the ridiculous magnets covering his red star. He wasn’t shying away from them before, he tore the left sleeve of every t-shirt and henley he owned to have his arm exposed, but now it didn’t look like a weapon anymore.
Oddly enough Dumm-E started picking magnets that reflected things from his and Barnes’ lives. After they watched Disney movies on Barnes’ tablet he chose a punk edit of princess Ariel, after G-Force he chose a chubby grey hamster eating a sun flower seed (Dumm-E didn’t seem to care that hamsters and guinea pigs are different kinds of rodents). When Barnes was absent from his usual visits to the workshop because he had a hard time after a grueling therapy session Dumm-E stuck a pink care bear to his arm. Tony had to stifle his smile almost constantly at the sight of a deadly assassin with a pink bear on his arm. Clint had a spoon shaped bruise on his forehead for days after he dared question the bot’s choice.
The one that made Sam cry with laughter Tony didn’t find all that funny. It was an ugly sad frog named Pepe that Peter insisted Tony buy. When he was it on Barnes’ arm he quietly and quickly got up from the couch and got into the kitchen. A second later uncontrollable laughter could be heard.
When Tony found some star magnets from a kids show named Steven Universe that Peter and Barnes seemed to like he bought them on a whim. The shy smile that Barnes gave him after Dumm-E chose that one almost made him want to buy him an entire set of them just to see it again.
The food theme got a revival after that. Dumm-E chose an avocado, an ice cream and a chubby grey cartoon cat eating a cookie. Tony then came to the conclusion that the spider-kid might have rubbed off on Dumm-E too since he next got Bucky to wear a sleeping Totoro, a blue cat and his fish friend and a Sailor Moon charm of all things (That got him a few weirdly hot dream with Bucky in pig tails fighting crime by moonlight in a sailor outfit. Damn those legs could kill a man, both figuratively and literally speaking.)
Since they started their magnetic therapy as Tony liked to call it he saw Bucky starting to warm up to them. He started spending more time on the common floor, showing off his metal arm glittering in the sun, adorned in silly magnets while reading on his tablet and lounging on the armchairs.
He started sparring with Steve now and going to the shooting range with Clint. He now had his own corner in Bruce’s garden to take care of. Instead of watching cartoons alone with the bots he now brought Thor and Peter along so they could discuss the plots and their theories about them. He now speaks quietly in Russian with Natasha about their reading list and how to help Peter with his stealth. But he always made time to come down to the workshop and play with the bots after Dumm-E changed his magnet and sometimes got Tony to ramble about his opinions on history events, music, books or even about his inventions.
Tony stopped buying magnets and let Dumm-E chose from the ones they already had, so color him surprised when one day he heard his confused beeping and looked over to see Bucky had already changed the magnet on his arm with one of AC/DC’s logo. He stopped Dumm-E from switching them and instead took the one he picked and stuck it on Dumm-E’s arm. Dumm-E processed for a second and then chirped happily and patted Bucky on the head just like he did almost four months ago when they started all this.
From then on Bucky was the one that changed the magnets on Dumm-E’s arm after he chose his own. He had a second Steven Universe star now so that he and the bot would mach when he wore that one, a Captain America shield (Steve had a proud smile on his face every time Bucky wore that one), some from a cartoon named Adventure Time, some with other band logos, and to Tony’s amusement he kept the food theme going with donuts, popsicles (red white and blue), cartoon strawberries and plums(?).
One night (early morning), at the end of one of his inventing binges Tony was standing up only out of spite and coffee jitters so he didn’t pay attention to Bucky as he went to Dumm-E, he just lowered himself (read collapsed) on his chair to see a little better what he was doing. He almost threw the very sharp screwdriver at Bucky as he seemed to suddenly appear in front of him. “Jesus Christ!”
“Wrong long haired dude, but I’ll take it as a compliment.” Bucky gave him a playful smirk and Tony could just glare at stupid handsome face that was now a little too blurry. Ok, that was a sign he might need some sleep. Bummer.
“Freezer-Barnes, I’m an old man with a heart condition, don’t use your sneaky sneak assassin skills on me.” He dragged his hands on his face and looked up at the man before him. Tonight he was wearing an Iron Man helmet on his arm. That gave him pause and he slowly looked up at Bucky and raised an eyebrow at him.
“Finally noticed?” his smile got a little shy then, “Steve got it for me. Said that it might catch your eye more than the others.” Okay? Now Tony was a little confused. Confused and hopeful.
“And why would Cap think that you would want my eyes on you?” he tried to use his seductive smile but he was kind of nervous that he was reading this wrong.
“He thinks that it’s his duty now to play matchmaker since I was his before and try to give me a confidence boost to ask you out on a date.” And then Bucky used that dazzling smile of his and Tony was grateful that he was sitting down because to have all of that addressed to him was a little overwhelming, especially with the implications of its appearance. At first he could only nod but after he cleared his throat he managed to squeak out a yes. Smooth, very smooth, the great flirt Anthony Edward Stark reduced to blushes and half words.
When Bucky put his palms on his work bench Tony found himself almost drowning in the icy blue of his eyes and didn’t notice that Bucky was leaning closer until their lips connected in a sweet chaste kiss.
He was left there on his with his mouth partially open to watch as Bucky made his way out of the workshop (he would gladly let himself be crushed to death by those thighs, goddamn). He barely flinched when he felt Dumm-E slap something sticky on his arm, he was that mesmerized. When he looked at what the bot had done he burst in laughter. He now had a red star sticker slapped on his left arm, his bot was as much a matchmaker as Captain America.