Chapter Text
I wake to a loud beeping along with classical music blaring next to my ear. I jump in my bed at the sudden sound and slam my right hand on my phone silencing the devil's beeping. I seriously need to get rid of that stupid app. It always puts my music on full volume. I roll out of bed dreading this day. First day of Senior year. I'm ready to hear all the classical senior year stuff. "Last first day of school!" "This is the year where our lives change!". It's so tiring. There's so much change every year. New students, new relationships, new classes, new teachers, ect. No one notices or gives the time of day to think about it. How can you go through the year dealing with all the change? I could barely handle all of the change last year. I go to my closet and pull out my usual apparel. Black skinny jeans, a Panic! At the Disco shirt, and a red flannel to go with it. I throw the clothes on, a little delayed due to the cast on my left arm. I walk out of my room smelling eggs and bacon. Looks like mom is cooking breakfast today....weird. I trudge downstairs and walk into the kitchen to find my mom cooking.
"Hey, honey. Just thought you would like a nice breakfast on your first day of school to start the day out right. And because I know you have trouble on the first day I scheduled an appointment with Dr.Padron after school so make sure you have a letter for her. I'll come pick you up when you get out."
Great just what I need. Now I have to go and make a letter to myself. A few years ago my mom and dad had me start going to a therapist to hopefully help me with my social issues. It kind of helpful after the first few months. I wouldn't have a panic attack if a teacher called my name to answer a problem in class....so that's a bonus. But after a while, no progress was being made so my therapist started to get me to try new hobbies. Unfortunately, none of those worked so she suggested that I start writing letters to myself hoping it would help my self-esteem. It didn't really work, but I didn't really want to go through the process of trying to find something that would catch my attention. But really all I liked doing was listening to music and reading. The books I read weren't really positive though. They were around the topic of depression or they were all fantasy. It was the thought of being able to go into a separate world through an author's words that caught my attention. Music is on another level though. Something about listening to Brendon Urie was relaxing. It seemed as though everything was going to be fine. Aside from listening to him, I also listened to plenty of musicals. The rhythm of the music in them caught my attention and it helps motivate me and brings up my attitude. To be able to sing my heart out and not worry about having issues in my life. So here I am now having to worry about writing my self a positive letter to myself.
"Alright honey, here's your food. Eat up and let's get you to school. I'll drive you today."
I quickly eat my food, brush my teeth, grab my backpack, and head to my mom's car so she can take me to a living nightmare of a building for six hours. Normally I would walk to school since it takes around 15 minutes to get there but I'm guessing my mom just wanted to pester me about trying to be more social once again.
"Nicole how about you try to get some people so sign your cast today? Put yourself out there and break the ice with a few of your classmates."
Just as I thought....."fine."
"I'm proud of you honey for trying."
"oh.....Good."
As I get out of the car and head inside I walk to my locker and unload everything in my locker. Put myself out there huh? I close my locker and there stand Jeremy Chetri. He's been a "friend" of mine since high school. By friend I mean he tells me all his problems and I just nod my head and say "uh huh." Kinda makes me a little lucky to say that I've been able to make one "friend."
"Hey Haught, what happened to your arm?"
"Fell out of a tree."
After a minute of solid laughing Jeremy finally responds, "How the heck did you manage that one?"
I didn't respond. All I did was shrug, grab my folder and pencil box and head to class. I plop down in the backseat of the class. Most teachers let us sit wherever we want the first day so that's a plus on my side. As the bell rings someone slides into the seat next to mine. All I can see is voluminous brown hair, a leather jacket, and some of the most skinniest jeans I've ever seen. Before I can figure out what's happening she's turning in my direction and saying words.
"What?"
"I said what's your name red?"
I sit there baffled. why would she want to know my name? I don't want anyone to know my name. Can't I just go through school unnoticed?
"Nicole Haught."
She silences her laughing with a hand over her mouth before responding, "Haught? Seriously? I'm gonna make up so many nicknames for you."
I'm used to all of the nicknames by now. Once people found out what my last name was I think I've heard everything. Having this girl call me red is new though.
"Sorry I forgot to tell you my name, it's-"
"Wynonna Earp shut your mouth back there!"
"No problemo teach."
The rest of the hour the girl next to me, whose name is apparently Wynonna, stayed relatively quiet, doodling on paper throughout the hour. It wasn't until the bell rang and I was walking out of class that she caught me.
"Yo, Haught shot, wait up!"
She jogged up to me and slowed to a walk until we reached my locker.
"You wanna sit with my friends and me at lunch?"
Oh great. I'll be at a table with a bunch of strangers who'll probably exclude me. That's the last thing that I need right now. Especially if I have an appointment today. It's okay. Just give her an excuse so you can get out of it.
"Sorry I can't I have to do research on something."
"Oh, okay. What's it on?"
"Nothing important."
I shut my locker and speedily walk to my next class. As my classes led up to lunch I was starting to have more anxiety. What if she comes and finds me? Oh my god, I'm dead. Maybe I can have my parents have me switch schools? my thoughts just got progressively worse until the bell for lunch rang. I made sure I was the last person out of the classroom, taking my time getting to my locker. I wanted to be one of the last people in the hallway. As I walked to my locker Jeremy walked up to me.
"Hey, Nicole! Where are ya eating your lunch today?"
"....Library"
"Oh cool. Hope you don't mind if I tag along?"
I shrug and start walking towards the library with Jeremy not far behind me. As we entered the library we headed to the back to ensure that we would be left alone. We sat down in the back and carried a conversation about our classes and how we think they will go for the rest of the year. I thought I was doing relatively okay for once in the social area. It didn't take long before the sounds of the bell filled the library and the halls of Purgatory High. Jeremy and I left the library and I heard a familiar voice ringing right behind me.
"What up Haught shot? How'd your research go?"
Damn, I forgot about that. "It went fine."
As we approached my locker I was expecting her to keep going to her locker, but she stopped at mine.
"Wanna hang out after school today?"
"....I can't I have a meeting after school today."
"Wow, you and Waverly would get along like two peas in a pod."
"Yea well, I gotta get to class. See ya later."
My last hour was a free period so I used that time to write my letter to myself.
Dear Nicole Haught,
Today is going to be a good day and here's why. Because today it wasn't raining like it was yesterday. On the other hand, I kind of made a friend today which can be considered a plus. Although, when she offered me the opportunity to sit with her at lunch I couldn't do it. Being around complete strangers that will probably exclude me is not a good situation. However, at least I have Jeremy by my side to help me out.
Sincerely, Me.
Satisfied with my work, I hit print and head over to the printer. I snatch the paper and put it in my backpack before anybody else can see what I just printed. As the final bell rang I walked outside trying not to draw too much attention to myself as I saw my mom pull up in front of the sidewalk. I practically throw myself into the car and off we head to my appointment.
"How was your day today honey? You make any new friends?"
I saw her eyes flicker to my cast, and not long after, I hear a long sigh come from her. I'm going to prove you wrong mom. I did put myself out there today and make a new friend.
"I...I kind of made a new friend today."
Her eyes lit up and she responded with a type of lightness in her voice, "that's fantastic honey! I'm glad you're putting yourself out there and making new friends. This is just the start. Soon enough you'll be able to give a speech in front of your class and not have a problem."
"....yup."
The rest of the afternoon went by in a flash. My therapy session went pretty well which was another plus. Before I knew it, it was night time and I was slipping into my bed falling fast asleep.