Chapter Text
Sometimes, you've spent so much time with someone that you associate almost everything with them.
Sometimes, Youngjae would remember that one time Jaebum embarrassed himself, when he spilled his coffee on his shirt, whenever the younger pass by the usual cafe they both used to go to. He would remember how happy he was, when he went on a road trip with him, whenever You Are plays on the radio.
Youngjae would remember the nights they've spent together, cuddling on his bed while Jaebum sings to his ear, whenever he hears his song on the radio.
"Could you turn that off?" Youngjae said to his manager, pressing on his temples.
He's seated on his car, on the way to their company. Just Because is blasting on the car's speakers, a sweet was voice resonating that was later on followed by another sweet voice. It was sweet yet Youngjae can't help but think that it was also sexy.
"Why? It's a good song though,"
Yes, it is. He never had a bad song.
"You've been playing his songs these past few days," Youngjae commented.
"Yeah. I mean, why not? JB's songs are really good. His voice is good. His lyrics are good," his manager said.
He just nodded and silence filled the air.
He knew it. He knew it better than any one else.
Youngjae had always admired his voice. He had always admired his songs.
He had always been amazed by how beautiful Jaebum's words were: how each word fits perfectly; how it pierces the people listening. They spoke of love, of passion. Some of them were painful, but still beautiful.
"What do you think of doing a collaboration with him?" Youngjae's manager broke the silence.
He shot him a look, thinking about what the other said.
Youngjae felt his heart raise by just the thought of meeting him again. A collaboration... Of course, he would love that. But meeting Jaebum again scares him.
So he shook his head.
"I've got a long way to go before I can do a collaboration with someone like him," Youngjae just said as he stared outside the window.
"Didn't you use to put up videos on the internet with him?"
Youngjae let silence linger for a moment before whispering a reply.
"It's different now,"
Too different.
A lot have happened. And Youngjae's afraid that they can't do things that they used to do anymore.
They can't watch movies together anymore. They can't eat together anymore. They can't sing the songs that they used to sing anymore. Heck, they don't even talk to each other anymore.
It's because things are a lot different now.
Youngjae smiled bitterly as he remembered the thrill that they get whenever they're uploading a new video, and the joy whenever someone comments, appreciating their work.
Good times.
"Actually, it's not that long anymore," his manager said, earning back Youngjae's gaze. "You'll be singing a song he wrote."
Youngjae just stared at him, not believing what he said. He stared at the other's face for a minute but his face showed that he was serious.
They arrived at their company not too long after and Youngjae felt his stomach turn as they verified what his manager had said.
"They offered you to sing an OST of a drama. JB wrote the song. It's already done. You just need to record it," the supervisor said.
"W-Wait... For real?" Youngjae asked, his heart wanting to break out from his chest.
"Yes. You need to meet JB as soon as possible after you study the demo he sent," he said. "This is a great opportunity, Youngjae. It's a big drama. And JB is well known for the songs he wrote. We need you to do this right."
Although unsure of what's bound to happen, Youngjae asked for the demo and immediately tried to study it.
The thought of singing a song Jaebum wrote made Youngjae's heart beat faster than it should. It made him nervous. It made him think of the possibility of being able to go back to what they were.
Everyday I think of seeing you
Everyday my heart skips a beat
Please always stay with me
I wonder everyday
What I did to deserve you
Who always takes my side
Jaebum sang the demo. His voice seeped to Youngjae's ears and to every part of his body. He listened to his words. He listened to it like the other's talking to him; like how Jaebum used to talk to Youngjae.
Youngjae listened to it repeatedly. he played it every day: when he wakes up, when he's driving, when he's doing just nothing.
He sang its sweet melody. He sang it like it's their own story. He sang it like how they used to sing their own love song.
And it pierces him. As they had long stopped singing their love song, and their love story was long over.
Almost a week had passed and Youngjae already finished studying the demo. He fiddled with his fingers as he sat beside his manager, waiting in Jaebum's studio.
It's the day that he's recording. Few minutes passed by and Jaebum entered the room with another man. Hope and excitement sprang through Youngjae's chest.
He immediately stood up and greeted them.
It's been a while since Youngjae had seen the older. He still looked as handsome as ever. He lost a little weight, making his features more sharp. And he still uses the same cologne.
Youngjae missed his scent. He missed Jaebum.
"Hello, Youngjae. Sorry for waiting," the other man, who introduced himself as Jaebum's manager, said. "He had a schedule before this." he said as he gestured towards Jaebum.
Jaebum hasn't spared Youngjae even a glance since he had arrived. He kept himself busy fixing the equipment that they needed for recording even though someone had already done that earlier.
And Youngjae felt a pang on his chest.
"Go in. Let's start," Jaebum said as he sat in front of his computer.
Again.
The word that Youngjae had heard for almost a hundred time since he had started recording. It annoys him so much as Jaebum doesn't even explain what the younger had done wrong or what he should improve. Youngjae was pretty sure that he was only doing what he had heard from the demo that the older did.
"Are you really just going to continue to mimic my style? I heard you're better than this,"
I heard...
But didn't he know me better?
Youngjae saw the cold look that the other threw at him and he could only bite his lip and suppress his tears.
"So? Can you do this?" Jaebum asked.
Youngjae drank some water and took a deep breath before answering.
The recording continued as he dived into his memories: his memories with Jaebum when he felt the happiest. He tried remembering the times they've spent together.
Youngjae tried remembering how his heart skipped a beat whenever the older kisses him. He tried to remember how the other's skin felt when it touches his. He tried to feel his hug. He tried to remember his voice; how Jaebum used to called his name with his sweet voice.
He tried to remember how Jaebum looked at him with loving eyes, the loving stare that is so different with what he is giving the younger now.
Youngjae felt his chest getting heavier. He slowly had trouble breathing out the words of the song. But still, he continued because he didn't want to disappoint Jaebum.
He didn't want to disappoint him more.
The recording ended a few minutes before midnight. Youngjae walked out of the recording room and thanked everyone who worked that day. But Jaebum still didn't spare the younger a glance. He kept his gaze on his computer.
Throughout the day, Jaebum treated Youngjae like he didn't know him. It annoyed the younger how the other acted like they shared nothing in the past.
"I hate you," Youngjae whispered as he walked past Jaebum.
And Youngjae heard him answer before he walked out of the door.
"Me too,"
He gripped his chest as he felt tears welling up on his eyes.
Youngjae hates himself as he didn't mean the words that he said. And it annoys him more that he can't hate him.
He keeps on forgetting that it's been long since their song stopped playing. And they could never play the same song the same way again.