Chapter Text
The sound of his laughter was heard through the hall. Mean closed his eyes, trying not to feel that laugh in his chest. His heart squeezed in his ribcage anyway. He braced himself for the inevitable, his eyes set on his mobile but his ear set on that voice.
That voice.
Those words reached him like pins through his heart, each one of them.
Plan was praising Perth. They stepped into the rehearsal room and Mean sighed when Plan came over to sit beside him.
He was wearing that same cologne. Something close to Jasmine and aloe-vera. Mean wanted to slide away from that aroma. It reminded him of their shared kisses. On-screen, of course. Plan would kick his balls if he tried that in real life.
“Hi.”
Mean sighed, finally looking at the boy beside him. Those eyes glinted with warmth and happiness and Mean felt like they would come to know about his secret if he looked at them for more than a second. He nodded with a smile and looked down at his phone.
But Plan had a different intention. He leaned closer to look at the game Mean was playing.
“Candy Crush? Really, Mean?”
Mean closed his eyes. Too close. Plan was too close to him. He tried not to breathe in. The boy did things to him.
“I am not a good gamer like you, Plan,” he said, trying to sound playful and cringing when his voice came out strained.
Plan laughed, pulling away to look at his face, “I can teach you. We can play a hand against Perth and Saint. Yeah?”
Perth said something from the chair he was sitting on. Mean did not listen.
“Nah, you enjoy. I am fine.”
Plan wanted to say something when his phone started ringing. Mean watched how the older boy’s face lit up as soon as he saw who was calling.
“Hello? P’Chao?”
Mean shook his head, a sardonic smile on his face. Plan would never light up like that if Mean called him.
It was not his fault though. He was not the one who fell in love with his co-star, knowing that said co-star was not just straight but so aloof.
Yes, Plan was not as close to Mean as he was to Perth, Mark, Gun, Chao or… anyone else. Plan would leave Mean’s side as soon as he can. He would do the fan-services through twitter than face to face. He would rather tweet something playful than stay around Mean and play lovey-dovey.
He was uncomfortable. Plan had said it numerous times that he was uncomfortable with PDA. He was not comfortable with teasing or flirting.
But Mean knew better. He had witnessed Plan teasing Perth and he had surely watched Plan flirting with P’Chao. It was just Mean Plan felt uncomfortable around. Any physical contact and Plan would flee.
Mean was pulled out of his thoughts when someone laid a hand on his knee. He looked up to see Saint looking at him with knowing eyes. Saint knew. He knew about Mean’s unrequited feeling and that lad did not let it out. Mean was grateful. He smiled at the boy.
“Good morning.”
Saint nodded at his greeting, “morning. How are you?”
Mean shrugged, turning his phone off and sliding it into his pocket to face Saint, “fine. I am seeing you after one long week. How have you been?”
Saint rested his head on Mean’s shoulder, closing his eyes. The boy was tired, Mean could see it. Mean let him close his eyes and waited.
“I am fine. Just tired, you know? I had a photo-shoot last night and it ended around one in the morning. Then I went home and I had to leave for this fan-meet at six. Hectic.”
Mean understood. He was at his limits too.
“Just three days and then you will be home, Saint.”
Saint nodded, closing his eyes again.
Mean felt eyes on him. When he looked up, Plan smiled at him.
“You two do make a good couple,” the boy said.
Mean wanted to scream but he held himself back and smiled, “don’t start a ghost-ship now, Plan. Our fans will be offended.”
Plan shrugged, “who is starting it? You are sitting all cosy with him. Don’t blame me when you end up like that in some of our Insta stories.”
Mean clenched his jaw, staring at where Perth’s hand rested around Plan’s shoulders. He exhaled, trying to calm his nerves down as he smiled at Plan.
“No worries, if our ghost-ship goes out of hand, you can always tweet something flirty to me. We will be fine.”
Saint pressed down on his knees, asking him to stop. Mean leaned back, closing his eyes.
“I don’t tweet flirty things, Mean. I tweet what I want to say to you.”
Mean wanted to laugh but he held himself back. He looked over at Plan and smiled, “oh. Okay.”
Plan was going to say something more but P’New walked in, demanding their attention and the topic was dropped. At least for that moment.
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Plan watched.
His eyes gliding over the two sitting across them. Saint held out the sushi with his chop-sticks for Mean to take and Mean did, smiling at Saint in thanks.
Something stirred in Plan, his stomach giving an odd twist.
Mean was that friendly with him in the start too. He was always trailing behind Plan, smiling at him, laughing at his stupid jokes. Plan was not sure what changed but something surely did. Cause Mean was not that open towards him anymore. He was guarded. He would talk to Plan but it was all professional, businessman like. Mean was more silent, something he was never before around Plan and Plan would die before accepting it verbally that…
He missed Mean. He missed those easy smiles, those warm hugs. Plan would always complain when Mean would hug him as greeting. Whenever they met, wherever they met. He would push Mean away with a joke about how clingy Mean was. But now he missed it. He missed Mean hanging off his every word and he missed those eyes locked on his as Plan talked about the most random stuff.
What changed?
Yes, they were not best friends since the starting, sure. Mean was not someone Plan could headlock with. Mean was not someone Plan would look up to as he did with P’Chao but Mean was his comfort zone. Plan would not feel like talking too much to keep Mean entertained. He would not go out of his comfort zone to play around with Mean because with Mean, he was himself. Plan. Calm, composed and mature. Mean gave off that aura that Plan did not need to do anything, Mean was going to be fine with every version of Plan. Better or worse.
Now, when it was taken away from Plan, Plan was not sure why he could not find his footing.
“Plan, did you post something from your account about this fan-meet?” P’Zankook asked.
Plan shook his head, “No, P. Not yet.”
Zankook sighed, tired with their antics, “do it then. Make a story with Mean. Your fans can do with some fan-service. My goodness, how are you two going to be shipped if you two barely post about each other?”
Plan wanted to snort but held himself back. Mean pulled out his phone.
“Just a photo will do, right?” Mean asked.
P’Zankook shook his head, “that’s getting common, boys. Do something more. Here, let me take a photo of you two.” He took out his phone and opened his video camera, “Mean, go and lie down beside Plan and rest your head on his lap. Plan, you look down at him and pretend like you are smiling at him about something.”
Plan watched how Mean went rigid, looking at Zankook and then at Saint. Plan frowned when Saint smiled sadly at Mean, squeezing his knee.
Was there something going on between those two? Was Mean swinging that way? Plan did not know and he did not want to find out either. He went to sit on the floor, cross-legged and waiting.
Mean stood up gingerly, looking at anywhere but Plan. Plan watched him come forward and sit down beside Plan.
“Can’t we just talk and smile at each other? Do I have to lie down and all?” Mean asked, “that would be too cheesy for our standard. We are not Saint and Perth!”
Plan agreed. They were never that cheesy.
P’Zankook was adamant though, “just lie down, Mean. Your fans need some kind of motivation. God, there are so many BL couples out there, guys. Why would they ship you if they don’t get something juicy?”
Plan cringed and Mean grimaced but at the end, they followed suit.
Plan looked down when he felt Mean’s head on his lap and his right hand went to rest on Mean’s chest. His left hand went in those soft strands. Mean stared up at him with something like fear and Plan did not know why Mean was scared. He tried to smile at the younger boy and Mean closed his eyes, no, not closed his eyes. Mean squeezed his eyes shut. As if it was paining him to look at Plan.
Plan stopped smiling but his hands moved through those locks. He heard the sigh P’Zankook letting out.
“Gosh! Look at this. If I did not know better, I would think you two are in love.”
Perth and Mark were looking at the video Zankook re-played while Plan watched Mean. Mean, who jumped away from him and almost ran out of the rehearsal hall.
Plan stood up to follow but halted in his motion. Saint beat him to it. Saint left the rehearsal hall too, hurriedly.
Plan did not know what was the feeling that twisted his heart as he stared at the closed door.