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The night itself seemed to hold its breath when Vernon got injured. The half world seemed quiet, too quiet, for a place that was always brimming with life and energy. Vernon just about managed to make it home, they hadn’t even been far from Skyhold, but the journey back was agonisingly long, with Vernon doing his best, fighting with everything in him, to stay awake. He succeeded for so long, but when he saw the fortress’ high walls, he stopped fighting. Jeonghan had ridden with him, Vernon sat in front of him, Han’s arms wrapped tightly around him as he galloped back to Skyhold, using his magic to try and hold Vernon together, for as long as he could, until Joshua could treat him. Seungkwan had been with him, they all had, but none of them had seen what had happened. One moment Vernon was fighting, the next, he was on the convulsing on the floor. Jeonghan had done his best to heal him on the battlefield, but his limited healing magic was doing very little, and Joshua was at Skyhold. So Seungkwan and Han did the only thing they could, and rode back to Skyhold.
A silence fell over Skyhold when everyone saw them return, Vernon’s unconscious figure sat in front of Jeonghan, and the look of sheer terror on Seungkwan’s face.
“Find Joshua, now.” Han shouts as Seungkwan helps Han dismount, and take Vernon off the horse, too. “And help me get him to a bed,” he adds. Vernon was propped up against the two of them, drifting in and out of consciousness.
*
Seungkwan refuses to leave Vernon’s side, and the mages don’t ask him to. It didn’t take long for someone to find Joshua, but the same people also found Seokmin and Wonwoo, gauging from Jeonghan just how bad the situation with Vernon was. Every time Seungkwan looked at Vernon, his tears fell harder, and his sobs got more violent. The colour was drained from his entire body, he looked dead, and with him falling in and out of consciousness, it really seemed as if he was. Seungkwan never considered himself a religious man, but that night, he prayed and prayed and prayed to the Maker, and even offered himself in Vernon’s place, because anything was better than this.
For a while, Joshua and Seokmin seemed to have Vernon into a stable condition. He wasn’t conscious, but at this stage, nobody expected him to be. The moments where his eyes did open, however, he just looked lost, and vaguely confused, and what hurt the most is that when he looked at Seungkwan, his eyes seemed to pass through him, as if he didn’t know him at all. Seungkwan could feel his heart breaking every time that happened, and was terrified at the thought that he might never recover. Whatever that mage had done to him, it was serious, and dangerous. Every time he thought too hard about Vernon, and the thought of him never getting better, his sobs racked his body harder, harder than he thought possible.
Seokmin tried to reassure him, to let him know that they had him stable, and that it was a good sign, but Seungkwan wouldn’t believe it, not until he saw that he was back to normal with his own eyes. He couldn’t bring himself to get his hopes up. It was the hours of the morning, and several times Seokmin had tried to bring food to Seungkwan, because he doubted that he had eaten much, if anything, in the last day. But the food always went cold, feeling to sick to even consider eating, even though everyone has told him that they were doing all they could for him.
It was now Wonwoo’s turn to monitor Vernon, and in the cold half-light of the early hours of the morning, Seungkwan asked him,
“Tell me if he’s dying. I know you can feel it.” His words are flat, but his voice trembles, betraying his fear. The necromancer replies as he usually would, his voice calm and level, and for once, his blunt honesty was the most reassuring thing to Seungkwan.
“He’s incredibly weak, Seungkwan. But right now, he’s not dying. I cannot say for certain, but I think he’s over the worst of it. He’s survived this far, and he’s strong. Everyone knows that.” Wonwoo’s words eased some of the tension that had been sitting in the pit of Seungkwan’s stomach, and he fell asleep, hand holding Vernon’s, his head resting on the edge of the bed.
He couldn’t say how long he’d been asleep, but suddenly Joshua, Seokmin and Jeonghan rushed back in the room. In his half-asleep state, Seungkwan struggled to register everything that was going on around him, but he heard Jeonghan say something about a dream and a demon and Vernon, and when Seungkwan turned to look at him, there was blood pouring from his nose, Seungkwan screamed.
The next thing he knew he was being pulled away by Cheol, who had been woken up by Jeonghan’s dream, so the mages could work on keeping Vernon alive. Cheol held Seungkwan’s arms, and Seungkwan fought him so hard to try and get to Vernon, who at this point he can’t even see, but fighting Cheol was futile, their leader’s grasp was stronger than anything Seungkwan could do to break away from it. Cheol turned Seungkwan around and pulled him into a hug, because Maker knows he needed one. Seungkwan’s fist hit his chest, and though it hurt, he knew that Seungkwan needed this, so he stayed silent. His arms are wrapped tightly around Seungkwan, as he sobbed into his chest. Cheol could see what the others were doing, and he saw four deathly concentrated faces, looking down at Vernon’s now convulsing body, and when he saw Jeonghan take out a knife and cut his palm, he knew it was bad, so he held Seungkwan tighter.
The magic in the room was painfully tangible to the two warriors, it seemed to crawl up their noses and into their veins. But that wasn’t surprising given that four of Ferelden’s most powerful mages were all in one room, working together. At the sensation, Seungkwan tried to turn around, but Cheol wouldn’t let him.
“You don’t need to see this.” Is all he said. Seungkwan fell to his knees, taking Cheol with him as he did, they smelt the blood and felt the Veil shift around them as the mages did all they can to help Vernon. At some point, Cheol had started to cry, too, it was just as hard on him as it was on Seungkwan. Vernon was one of the people he was supposed to lead, supposed to protect, so to see him at what looked like inches away from death was terrifying, and sickening. He kept his sorrow silent, because Seungkwan needed his support more than he needed to cry. But he could see the panic in Joshua’s eyes, having handed responsibility over to the blood mage, and that made it so much more difficult to stay quiet, as even their healer felt helpless. His eyes caught Cheol’s briefly, and he looked defeated, he’d tried everything he could think of, and nothing seemed to be working.
“Take him away, Cheol,” Joshua said quietly, his words small. “He doesn’t need to see this.” And before Cheol could reply, Seokmin interjected,
“He won’t leave, Joshua, we all know it.” That’s when Seungkwan snapped. He got up off the floor, wiped the tears from his face, took a step closer to Vernon and oh Maker there’s blood everywhere, from Jeonghan’s hand, and more on Vernon’s pillow, but he sucked it up and asked in a shaky but incredibly determined voice,
“How can I help?”
“We need him to come around, and if anyone can do that, it’s you. He’s spent too long in and out of the Fade, he shouldn’t even be in the Fade. Han said he was talking about you, Seungkwan, he’s scared. You need to help him.” Joshua replied softly. “Talk to him, hold his hand. There’s not much else you can do.” He admitted, and part of Seungkwan look frustrated, but he did as Joshua said. He moved to Vernon’s hand, grabbed it and squeezed it tight, and it was so cold. “You need to try and wake him up now,” Joshua said again, and so Seungkwan began to talk to him.
“Vernon, can you hear me? You need to wake up, you have to wake up.” Seokmin winced at his words, seeing how desperate Seungkwan was, it was hard to look at. Suddenly, Vernon began to groan, and he sounded panicked, though his eyes remained shut, it was as if he was fighting something. Wonwoo looked away, he could feel death around the corner, and Seungkwan was on his knees, his hands grasped Vernon’s between them, and he let out a dry sob. “Come back, you need to come back.” He closed his eyes. “Don’t go where I can’t follow.”
Vernon’s eyes suddenly snapped open, and he was panting heavily. Wonwoo turns back, shocked that he was still alive, let alone awake. Seungkwan began to cry harder, head rested on Vernon’s arm, whispering quiet thanks to the Maker.
Vernon mumbled something into the air, and took one look at Seungkwan before he closed his eyes again and fell asleep, his breaths growing more and more steady. Joshua’s hands were immediately over Vernon’s body, and he let out a sigh of relief, and took a seat on the opposite side of the bed to Seugkwan, before he wiped the sweat of Vernon’s brow.
“He’s going to be okay.” He whispered, and suddenly the air in the room became much lighter, and the night seemed to breathe again. Cheol breathed a long awaited sigh of relief and closed his eyes, and as he did, Jeonghan walked towards him and rested his head on Cheol’s chest. Cheol could feel him trembling slightly, so he put his arms around him.
“Thank you, Han,” he said quietly, placing a kiss on the top of his head as he spoke. It didn’t matter how often Han did blood magic, pulling someone out of the Fade, especially someone who isn’t supposed to be there, it was draining, and tonight was no exception, Jeonghan just sighs against Seungcheol’s chest. Wonwoo left the room quietly, nodding at the others as he did, slipping out of the room in silence. Seokmin sat down next to Joshua, and put his hand on his back. Seungkwan meanwhile placed his head, just above Vernon’s chest to hear his heart beat, because he still couldn’t quite believe that he was still alive. Cheol kissed Han on the top of his head, and whispered, “You’re incredible,” to him.
“Mmmmmm, I know.” Han starts, “and so is Shua. He’s the one who did all the work.” Cheol couldn’t help but roll his eyes at Han’s remark, he was never good at taking credit when it really mattered. Han yawned quietly, and turned to look at Joshua. “I’m going to bed, alright? Don’t you dare stay here the entire night, Shua, you’re exhausted too.” And somehow, his sleep ridden voice still managed to be demanding, Joshua smiled softly at him,
“Don’t worry, I’ll join you two in a bit.” Seokmin squeezed Joshua’s shoulder and said,
“I’ll stay here and watch over Vernon.”
“I don’t mind staying,” Joshua replied through a huge yawn.
“No, really Joshua. I’ll stay.” Seokmin said again, with a small nod of his head. “I’ll call if I need you.” He added, watching Joshua’s eyes slowly get heavier and heavier. “Go with Han and Cheol,” and Joshua did exactly that, getting up slowly and walking towards Cheol, who opened an arm for him, before walking the pair of them to bed, arms around their shoulders. Seungkwan lifted his head to look at Vernon’s sleeping face, and stroked his cheek gently. “He’s going to be okay, you can go back if you’d like, and get some rest.” Seokmin said softly, and Seungkwan just shakes his head in response, as exhausted as he felt, the thought of closing his eyes to have them open without Vernon at his side was just too much for him.
Seokmin goes to a nearby chair, and pulled a blanket off it, putting it around Seungkwan’s shoulders. “At least make yourself comfortable and try to rest a bit if you’re going to stay here. You know you need to rest, you want to be okay when he wakes up.” Seokmin’s words hit home, not if, but when.
“Thank you, Seokmin.” Seungkwan replied hoarsely, kissing Vernon on the forehead before lying down beside him, making sure their fingers were still laced together. Wonwoo silently appeared again, this time with two cups of tea, he handed one to Seokmin, the other intended for Seungkwan, who now looked fast asleep. So instead, Wonwoo sat down in the armchair in the room, and Seokmin joined him, keeping the tea for himself.
“How he didn’t die…” Wonwoo starts, “I will never know. It was so close. I’m not one to believe in miracles but-“
“I know.” Seokmin replies. “When Jeonghan came to my room… I thought, ‘this is it. This is where we lose him. This is where Seungkwan loses him.’ Yet, he’s still here.” A pause lingered between them. “If… if he hadn’t made it, what do you think Seungkwan would have done?” Seokmin asked quietly.
“I don’t want to think about it,” Wonwoo stated in reply, taking a sip of his tea.
“He would have begged you to bring him back, even while knowing that isn’t possible. He would have…” Seokmin trailed off, taking a sip of his tea too, “it’s better if we don’t think about it.”
“Everyone else is awake, by the way.” Wonwoo said, “all the commotion, they thought we were being attacked.” Wonwoo looked at the pair sleeping calmly, and the smallest of smiles spread across his face. “Vernon won’t be able to fight for a few weeks, but that’s better than being dead, I’d say.”
“Speaking of fighting and everyone else. Mingyu. Why isn’t he here ready to drag you back to bed?” Seokmin asked, teasing him, voice low enough so as not to disturb Vernon and Seungkwan. Wonwoo glared back at him, but it was a playful one,
“Where are Jihoon and Soonyoung?” Seokmin choked on his tea.
“Touché.” Wonwoo let out a breathy laugh,
“They’re all relieved, I know that much. Vernon is… one of a kind, he would be missed.”
“Seungkwan is fast asleep already, he hasn’t eaten or slept since he got back.” Seokmin said with a sigh.
“I think Junhui made him eat something earlier. I’m not sure that he ate the entire thing, though.”
Seokmin finished his tea, and grabbed a blanket for himself and Wonwoo, who immediately huddles closer to Seokmin as soon as he sits back down on the Orlesian sofa that Vernon insists on having in his room. “It’s going to be a long night,” Wonwoo said with a sigh.
“I’d rather a long and boring night than anything else, wouldn’t you?”
“Very true, Seokmin, very true. Though I still can’t agree with Vernon’s taste in furniture.”
“I think it’s nice.”
“My point exactly,” he replied, raising an eyebrow.
“Shut up, you love this. It’s really comfortable.”
“With my eyes closed yes, it is… bearable.”
“Like Mingyu’s-”
“Don’t you dare, Lee Seokmin. I know where your bedroom is.”
“But Mingyu-”
“Unless you want to find a reanimated corpse stood over you, I’d keep quiet.”
Seokmin laughed, but knows the threat there is half real. His thoughts quickly turned to how he’d be if either Jihoon or Soonyoung were in Vernon’s place, and the laughter dies in his throat.
"What?" Wonwoo asks.
“It’s just- nothing. It’s stupid, we aren’t even together and…” the realisation that something like that might happen while they still haven’t talked about whatever is going on between them hits him like a Hurlock with heavy armour. “Wonwoo, I’m scared to leave them when I don’t even have them in the first place.” The names are left unspoken, but Wonwoo knows and smiles sadly,
“You do realise you own every piece of their hearts, right?”
"It's just- nothing, it's stupid, we aren't even together and..." The realisation that something like that might happen while they still haven't talked about whatever is going on between them hits him like a Hurlock with heavy armour. "Wonwoo, i'm scared to lose them without even having them in the first place."
The names are left unspoken but Wonwoo knows and smiles sadly, "You do realise you own every piece of their hearts, right?" Seokmin just fiddles with his fingers. Soonyoung and Jihoon are in a relationship, they are together, and sometimes Seokmin wonders if he’s just a third wheel to a proper relationship. The three of them haven’t spoken about it, but there’s clearly something going on, it’s not just in his imagination. But Seokmin is scared, terrified. Terrified at the thought of losing them before telling them how he feels. The thought of losing them in general is worse.
“Just- if I were in Vernon’s place, would they… would they care? I’m just. I’m not-” he sighs. “Sometimes I feel like, like I don’t belong. They look so happy,” he said, still looking down at his hands.
“Jihoon is worse than me when it comes to conveying emotion, but even he can’t hide the way he looks at you. And Soonyoung, he wears his heart on his sleeve. They care about you Seokmin.”
“But they’re together and I’m… I’m not, I won’t ever be.”
“Look at Cheol, Han and Joshua. I think our leader still doesn’t believe he has those two as his partners. And you know Jeonghan and Joshua knew each other long before they even met him. It’s no different this time. They care about you the same way you care about them, and the Maker can strike me down if I’m wrong about this.” Seokmin doesn’t look up,
“I just don’t want to get it into my head that this could be something more than it is. I… I don’t want to get hurt.”
“Soonyoung looks at you the same way he looks at Jihoon. Just because he hasn’t said it yet, does not men he doesn’t care about you. And Jihoon… what can you do, he’s a man of few words.”
Seokmin remains silent, and Wonwoo finishes his tea and puts down the mug, leaning into Seokmin afterwards, sighing, “He fell asleep on your shoulder the other day.” Seokmin snorts.
“That’s what you’re doing right now.” Wonwoo shook his head slightly, “It’s Jihoon, and it was different. I had to kick Minghao so that he wouldn’t ruin the moment.” Wonwoo continued, “Jihoon avoids all human contact at almost all costs, especially in public. The only other person he’s done that to? Soonyoung. You can’t tell me that’s a coincidence. And when that hired assassin caught you with his blade? Jihoon made the antidote to the poison. Nobody had it, he went out, found the missing ingredients, and I know for a fact the balm needed isn’t cheap in these parts.”
“He would have done the same if it had happened to any of the others.” However, Seokmin could feel his heart racing as a reaction to Wonwoo’s words.
“Maybe so, but it would have been more likely that he simply told us the ingredients, rather than make it himself. I think it was an excuse to watch over you as Joshua was working, honestly.” Seokmin could feel the heat rise in his cheeks, had Jihoon really done it for him? “And you know how Jihoon melts around Soonyoung? It’s even worse when he’s with you. I’ve never seen him laugh so much.”
“But I’m not even that funny,”
“If you say so, but wouldn’t that prove my point anyway?”
“I- well… huh.” Seokmin stuttered.
“He really likes you. Really likes you. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but he bites his tongue around you. He wants to say… Maker knows what, but I’ve seen it. He wants to say something to you, maybe he wants to do it first, I really don’t know. Soonyoung isn’t one to hide his affections, after all.”
“How do you know all of this?”
“Intuition. Trust me, Seokmin.” Wonwoo stated, Seokmin sighed in response.
"I want to believe you, I really do, I just can't bring myself to believe I'm that important to them."
“If you asked them… maybe you would know. The signs are there, but you’re too worried about them not liking you to notice them. They’re all over you. Hell, Soonyoung was literally sat in your lap last night, and Jihoon kept laughing at your jokes like they were the funniest things he’d ever heard.”
“But Soonyoung is just affectionate! That could mean anything! And you think I can just ask them? Wonwoo-hyung, no offense, but have you lost your mind? Just ask them- ask them.” Seokmin started to blush at the sheer thought of it, his ears a bright red. Wonwoo chuckled,
"Oh Seokmin, you really are in deep." Vernon whimpers in his sleep, startling them both, but after a second his face is peaceful again. Seokmin sighed,
“I am, aren’t I?” Wonwoo simply hummed in response, closing his eyes. Seokmin looked at the ceiling, so many thoughts were on his mind, yet he couldn’t form a single word.
“Mingyu and I slept together again a few nights ago.” Wonwoo’s voice was quiet, too quiet. Seokmin turned his head slightly to look at him,
“Oh?” He said, leaving his question open ended, hoping that Wonwoo would elaborate. “How… how was it?” He added, not quite sure to go about asking how it was.
“I left in the morning, then managed to avoid him until lunch. Then… then we pretended nothing happened. Just like we always do.” Wonwoo sighed, “I almost cried when he kissed me that night.” He then snorted, and let his head fall to Seokmin’s shoulder.
“Wonwoo that’s-” Seokmin started.
“Yeah, it is.” He replied sarcastically.
“Where is avoiding him going to get you?”
“I don’t know, but that’s not the point.”
“Then what is?”
“I don’t know that either.”
“Why don’t you follow your own advice?”
“It doesn’t work like that.”
“Yes. It does.” Wonwoo looked at the sleeping pair on the bed,
“Love finds us at the most inappropriate times. The world needs to be saved? Here’s a person who’ll haunt your sleep every night!”
“Mingyu would quite literally fall at your feet if you asked him to, he probably would even if you didn’t ask him he’s so clumsy. What you’re doing, it’s not good for either of you, one of you is going to get hurt if you’re not careful.”
“And the same can’t be said for you, Jihoon and Soonyoung?”
“Yeah, if it ever gets that far,” Seokmin replied with a dismissive chuckle. As much as Wonwoo was trying to make their situations similar, they weren’t. They just weren’t. Wonwoo had slept with Mingyu, Seokmin hadn’t even-
Nothing had happened between the three of them. It’s not that he hadn’t thought about it. He had, quite a lot. But it just wasn’t going to happen, and while it hurt to tell himself that, he knew he had to.