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"When you said you needed twelve tons of cheap yarn, this was not what I was expecting Hanji."
"What were you expecting?" Hanji asked curiously. "You know I can't knit."
"Anything but this," Erwin sighed, making a grand gesture out the window.
The massive bulk of Eren's titan form was seated in the center of the courtyard, a massive pile of yarn spools beside him. He was holding two flag poles in his hands, which had been converted into improvised knitting needles. And sure enough, that's what the titan was doing. Knitting.
"What's he even making?" Erwin asked mildly curious in spit of himself.
"We're not sure," Hanji admitted. "We're torn between a blanket, a net for titans, or a cozy for the castle."
"Be honest shitty-glasses," Levi butted in. "We don't know if the dumb brat is even making anything besides a massive sheet of knitting."
"Levi," Erwin muttered. "I didn't believe it when Hanji said you agreed to be a part in this."
Levi shrugged, "Someone needed to show the dumbshit titan how to knit."
"And what did you two hope to accomplish with this?"
Levi and Hanji exchanged glances, then simply shrugged. "It sounded funny at the time?" Hanji supplied. "We were a little drunk when we decided to do it."
"Does Jeager at least know how to knit now that we've spent all this time teaching his titan how to do it?"
"Err..." Hanji shot a worried look at Levi. "No," She admitted. "He has these vague memories of how it's supposed to be done, but he gets all the motions wrong. Says the needles seem too small and the yarn too big."
"So we have a fifteen meter titan sitting in our courtyard, producing miles and miles of useless knitting..."
A loud rumbling growl suddenly shook the castle. Three heads turned towards the window. Eren had stopped knitting, and was now glaring at them. A hard, smoldering glare that promised all the horrors of hell would be a walk in the park compared to what he would do to them. He was also brandishing one of the flag poles threateningly. Despite everything, Erwin felt a jolt of primal terror work its way down his spine, and he actively had to fight the urge to flee.
"Oh I'm sure we'll find a use for it!" Hanji said quickly. "It is a very, very good knitting."
There was another, lower growl, and the titan returned its attention back to it's knitting.
"He's also very touchy about it too," Levi added.