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1
Bucky had felt a little peckish when he'd gone to the community kitchen with the vague idea of looking if there was still leftover pizza from yesterday – not very likely with a literal god, Natasha and Steve in the same building but one could hope.
That thought went right out of the window when he saw Tony there.
Well, Tony and Thor , with the former using the sandwich toaster and the latter sitting at the counter, almost on top of Tony, and leaning in so close that he could have just as well draped himself all over Tony.
Who didn't seem to mind. Actually, while Bucky watched, he reacted to Thor telling him that he had never seen a mind like yours or wonders the like of which you create with such a treasure of a mind by laughing and pushing Thor away - in just the same way he would push Bucky himself away when he complimented him, the way that said he was a little embarrassed but also definitely flattered.
Not knowing how to react Bucky abandoned his plan and left the kitchen, unseen by those within.
It didn't take him long to realize he had overreacted.
Tony was affectionate with everyone to the point that the various news outlets had tried to guess which one of the Avengers Tony dated, at least those that didn't outright accuse him of keeping the Avengers as his harem - a fact that send them all into laughing fits whenever it was brought up. And Tony liked having his creations praised - of course he would accept it, even if he had no further interest in Thor.
And he didn't have any interest in Thor, did he? Because he and Bucky, they'd been dating for almost a year now and they were happy together and Tony had no reason to go looking for someone else.
Had he?
Guilt filled Bucky with dread. Because there was something that might drive them apart, something important that they very much disagreed upon, and that was Bucky's refusal to come out.
He knew that it hurt Tony. His love had lived most of his life under the eyes of the world and for him Bucky’s refusal to announce their relationship to the public was a sign that Bucky was ashamed of him.
He couldn't have been further from the truth. If Bucky could have it is way he would run out onto the street and tell everyone he saw. Scream it from the tower. Spread it via the Avengers' twitter. Kiss Tony in the middle of the Times Square. Marry him in front of the eyes of the world and make sure that everyone knew that he alone had been deemed worthy to call this incredible man his own.
Except that was the crux, wasn’t it? Because he was not worthy, not in the eyes of the world. Not when they still speculated about his past as a brain-washed assassin in magazines - though at least they had stopped asking him about it after Steve had stated point-blank that the Avengers wouldn't accept any more interviews by any magazine or news station that couldn't refrain from further tormenting a torture victim, with Tony backing him up and, surprisingly - or maybe not so, given his own history - , Loki, too, who had insinuated strongly that it might not be the healthiest to further pursue this line of questioning.
But they were still speculating and observing his every move, quick to judge him if they thought he had handled a situation too harshly. There were still hidden allusions in articles featuring him. Experts that picked his missions apart. Rhetoric questions that boiled down to Is he dangerous?
And Tony had enough he had to deal with - StarkIndustries, being Iron Man, developing new weapons for the team and new wonders for the world, being a big part of the Avengers' public face and voice. There were days when Tony barely slept, kept up by his own worries or nightmares or the drive to create, to protect.
And Bucky loved him the way he was, loved him driven and protective and even after a three-day-workshop-bender with greasy hair and too much coffee and not enough sleep, speaking sentences that only Jarvis could really parse the sense of, or sometimes Bruce or Loki if they'd been part of that insane creation marathon. He loved him and wouldn't change him for anything in all the worlds.
But he also wouldn't come out to the world and add more weight onto Tony's shoulders.
It didn't stop him from watching Tony and Thor. Maybe it was a little possessive but ... damn, Tony was his! What did Thor think he did encroaching on his boyfriend?
Especially in such an ambiguous way.
Because on one hand, Bucky caught them a couple more time s with Thor complimenting Tony - and Tony even encouraging him, clearly fishing for more compliments with his question of “That all you’ve got, big boy?” And just two days ago when he joined the team unexpectedly at their last movie night it had been Thor who shared the loveseat with Tony.
The loveseat that was practically theirs for how often Tony and he were the once to sprawl out in it.
Yet on the other hand Tony still smiled at him whenever he saw him, that bright, beautiful smile that he kept reserved for Bucky alone, and went out of his way to touch him whenever possible, a hand brushing his, a knee rubbing against his hidden under the table, a hip that just so happened to bump into him when he passed the other. And he hadn't even seemed the least bit self-conscious when Bucky turned up and saw him with Thor, appearing to not even know what might be wrong when Bucky snapped at him for not saving his seat - which he knew was unfair because he’d said he wouldn't be home until tomorrow and Tony was the kind of touchy-feely person who wanted someone to hold onto for a movie - and even made moves to follow him when Bucky turned on his heel and left.
Yet the person whose handed landed on his shoulder just downstairs and who then proceeded to push him into the wall wasn't Bucky's wayward boyfriend.
It was Loki.
And going by the way his eyes were blazing he was pissed .
"What is your problem, Barnes?", he hissed and Bucky remembered that he wasn't the only one Tony had befriended despite their history and the dangers involved.
And like Bucky, Loki was very protective of his friends.
He was also the only one except Jarvis who knew about them and so Bucky allowed himself to snarl back: "What my problem is? Maybe ask your brother what his problem is, trying to steal my boyfriend!"
For once Loki seemed too taken aback to deny that he was Thor's brother. "Thor - stealing Tony? What the - because he sat down next to him for movie night when we all know Tony is going to be all over whoever sits next to him?"
Scowling Bucky growled. "No, because he compliments him whenever they are alone!"
Loki ... blinked. Snorted. "Thor compliments Tony and you run around like another dog has pissed at your tree? As if Thor has eyes for anyone but Dr. Jane."
A sudden shift in demeanor and suddenly Bucky had an arm across his windpipe, his head ringing with the force Loki had pushed him back into the wall. Eyes as cold as the ancient winter on his race’s home planet and as violent as their snow storms stared down at him. "I don't care what idiocy you've dreamed up but if you hurt Tony you will answer to me, clear?"
"Crystal", Bucky ground out, glaring back at the other.
Loki just held him for a moment longer before scoffing and stalking away.
Bucky didn't know if Loki had spoken with Thor or Tony about Bucky's observations but neither changed their behavior. Nor did he run into any more strange situations with the two of them.
He would be relieved if not suddenly everyone else was starting to act strange.
2
It started with Bruce.
Like Loki, Bruce spend a lot of time with Tony in the labs and seeing as they'd been friends since long before Bucky even knew Tony he'd never thought anything of it.
At least not until he came down to talk to Tony, maybe get him and Bruce to eat something if they'd missed lunch again - these science types were all the same - when he suddenly realized that Bruce didn't just lean over Tony because they shared the microscope - no, he also had a hand right there on Tony's waistline and his body was angled just so that he was pressed against Tony’s from leg to shoulder.
Blinking he stopped outside, not sure whether to believe what he saw.
Maybe Tony had created a new holographic system that projected onto the glass walls of his workshop and this was just an image?
But no, Bucky had asked Jarvis before - both Tony and Bruce were in this workshop and there was absolutely no reason to project something like this.
Nor was there any reason for the way Bruce suddenly leaned even closer, his mouth almost at Tony's ear when he said something ...
Unable to bear it any longer Bucky turned and went down to the gym to hit some of Steve's sandbags.
3
When he saw Natasha with Tony he thought he'd lost his mind.
Where Bruce's behavior might still be excused – Tony was always touching people he liked; he wouldn’t even notice one of his friend feeling him up - there was no way to misread this situation: Natasha had stripped down to a towel sloppily wrapped around her waist and stretched out on their - Tony's and his - bed, moaning softly and all but melted into the rumpled bedding, with Tony sitting astride her back, wearing little more himself and giving her a massage.
Bucky had already been confused when Jarvis had, asked after Tony's whereabouts, directed him to their bedroom but with Tony's irregular schedule there was no saying when the caffeine wasn't enough anymore and he simply crashed.
Unsure whether Tony was asleep he had made sure to be as silent as possible; if Tony had gone to sleep it would be good to let him rest for as long as possible.
Hearing soft voices and low laughing through the closed door had been strange but not completely out of the ordinary, not in a house where Jarvis had access to almost every room.
At least not until he heard an undeniable female laugh.
Freezing he had stared at the door, trying to convince himself he was imagining things ... but there it was again, too high-pitched to be either Tony or Jarvis.
It might still have been a recording or maybe a phone call but with everything that had happened these last days Bucky was a little paranoid and so he had taken these last steps like a soldier bracing for a trap and then opened the door.
The view had been everything he'd feared and for a moment he couldn't quite process it.
Turning a little Natasha broke the silence first. "Barnes? What are you doing here?" A frown creased her forehead. "And close the door, it's getting cold."
Only now did he realize that the temperature in the room was raised much higher than usual. Still a little dazed he followed her command, his eyes focusing on Tony.
Tony, whose initial surprise had changed to alarm at Natasha's question.
Because he didn't want Natasha to know that he and Bucky were lovers?
But why else would Bucky be in Tony's bedroom?
"Oh, is your arm acting up again?", he finally said and Bucky blinked.
"My arm", Bucky repeated before realizing that, yes, this might be a reason for Bucky to come looking for Tony in his bedroom.
"Yes. Jarvis indicated you weren't asleep yet ... but I see you are busy."
Tony, slowly relaxing, grinned. "Yeah, well, this might take another hour or so but I can meet you down at the shop at - J? What's the time?"
"02:17, Sir."
Tony grinned. "Then how about half past 4? Gives me time to shower beforehand, too."
The way he seemed to be so completely oblivious to what he did made Bucky want to grind his teeth but he didn't want Natasha to ask any more questions and so he only nodded. "Thank you. I sill see you down there then."
Turning around he walked out of the room before Tony could answer.
By the time Tony entered his workshop Bucky had still not worked out what to think about the whole encounter.
It had looked bad. Really, truly bad.
And yet Tony hadn't reacted like he had gotten caught cheating on him.
So when Tony stepped up to him with a grin and "Sorry, I couldn't ditch Natasha earlier" he couldn't quite bring himself to not return Tony's hug and kiss.
Tony still pulled back early. "What is?", he asked, confusion clear on his face.
Sighing Bucky looked away, avoiding his eyes. Tried to figure out what to say that wasn’t Do you cheat on me?
Especially since he knew that Tony wasn’t that kind of person.
Unable to phrase it any other way he finally asked, "Do you still love me?", then winced. He hadn't actually meant to say that, reveal so much of his insecurities.
Yet Tony only seemed even more confused. "What ...? Bucky? What are you talking about? Of course I love you!"
When he turned back there was only genuine worry in his lover's face. Looking away again he felt his shoulders hunch, yet couldn't stop himself.
Tony's warm, callused hand - calluses from hard work, not from killing people - touched his cheek and he couldn't stop himself from leaning into it.
Couldn't stop himself whispering: "I'm sorry."
Now there was Tony's second hand on his other cheek, gently turning him back. "What are you sorry for?", he asked, still confused, still worried. "Bucky? What happened, sugarplum?"
A smile tugged on Bucky's lips at the familiar endearment, making it suddenly easier to answer. "I just ... I think I'm just insecure ... and then Natasha ..."
"Oh!" Tony chuckled, relief obvious in his voice. "That! Sorry about ... Tasha was complaining about back pain after her last SHIELD mission and I offered her a massage ... if I'd thought you would search for me I would have told Jarvis to tell you not to come in." A slight wince. "Though I fear she knows now that something's going on."
"She's good at reading people", Bucky agreed, allowing himself to pull Tony into his arms and enjoying the way Tony held him in turn.
Tony, who now smiled - a small, crooked, a little insecure smile - and said: "We could always tell them? Then we wouldn't have to worry about them stepping in on us."
And they might even be okay with it but the rest of the world wouldn't.
Still, shaking his head and watching his lover's face fall before he hid his pain under a brave smile hurt him, too.
4
With Clint there wasn't exactly one time Bucky felt like an intruder. Or like he wanted to wring Clint's neck.
Which ... wasn't entirely new, nor was he the only one who came occasionally close to strangling him. Not when Clint pulled pranks on pretty much everyone but Natasha and maybe Loki - though in the latter case Bucky was almost sure it was only because Loki hadn't gotten the title of God of Mischief without reason and he simply disabled everything Clint did before it could harm him. Or maybe he evaded the pranks, leaving them for someone else, like the plastic spiders that had gotten into the cereals the same day Loki had decided to try a Japanese style breakfast with rice.
Anyway. Bucky might not be the only one who wanted to kill Clint but he certainly was the only one who wanted to do it because Clint. Couldn't. Stop. Ogling. Tony's. Ass.
Or slapping it.
Or commenting on it.
Or finding pictures of it on the Internet and sharing them with them all.
And Tony, shameless flirt that he was, indulged him, even going so far as to pose for his camera "So you can complete your altar to my best side, Clint. Just remember, you have to offer it plums every Thursday and a banana every Sunday and Wednesday."
Clint had sputtered and slapped Tony's ass, again, before saying: "You are an asshole, Stark." And then he blushed when he realized what he'd said and fled the room.
Making sure no-one else was around Bucky wandered over and pulled Tony close. "You shouldn't encourage him so."
Tony only laughed. "Clint? He's harmless. And" Turning in his hold he grinned up at him. "And his banana isn't nearly big enough for my tastes anyway."
Now it was Bucky's turn to sputter, completely blindsided by the innuendo, and Tony used that moment to pull him down and press a kiss onto his lips.
5
Bucky might have gotten used to everyone's sudden interest in Tony - he was gorgeous after all - if not for that movie night two weeks later when Bucky came into the common room just after Tony only to hear Steve invite Tony to sit with him.
And not just invite him.
Steve, who rarely used endearments for anyone, said: "Hey doll, want to sit here?" Like he was asking a potential date.
Oblivious, Tony was already grinning and shaking his head, heading over to their couch with a wave in Bucky’s direction.
"Leave the lovebirds to their loveseat", Clint piped up, blowing Tony a kiss.
And Tony waved at him, too, but also turned his face so that no-one but Bucky could see the pain on his face.
The pain of a heart hurting because he couldn’t tell Clint that he was right.
Couldn’t, because Bucky wasn’t ready to come out.
Steve, taking it the wrong way, turned to Clint, a frown on his face. "Clint, can’t you-"
And suddenly Bucky didn’t care anymore.
"Yes, I think the lovebirds will take the loveseat", he said.
Everyone turned to stare at him but it didn’t matter.
Didn’t matter compared with taking the three steps between him and Tony and wrapping an arm around his waist. His heart beating loud in his ears he pulled him to their seat, then proceeded to flop onto the couch in such a way that Tony had to sit on his lap.
Only then did he allow himself to look up.
Their teammates were smiling.
All of them. Steve who had wanted Tony to sit with him. Thor who had called Tony a genius and beautiful and godlike. Bruce who stood too close to Tony in the lab. Clint who couldn't leave his hands off Tony's ass - though he might be a little disgruntled. Natasha who'd gotten a naked massage from him.
Well, almost everyone. Loki looked mostly pleased with himself, muttering "Finally", loud enough for everyone to hear.
Not that Bucky minded because there was a hand pressed shyly into his and Tony whispered "Are you sure?" in a voice that was equal part hope and dread and no way was Bucky going to stomp on that.
"I am, babe. I don't care what everyone says - I love you and I want everyone to know it."
And maybe he wasn't entirely truthful with that - he still very much cared about the world shitting even more on Tony Stark - but there was no way he would say that, not with how Tony's face lit up and he suddenly pressed his lips to Bucky's like he'd been given the best of all gifts.
His hand never left Bucky's for the rest of the evening.
+ 1
"And you are sure?", Bucky asked again, staring out at the press. He supposed he had only himself to blame - Tony had said they could just make a press release - but he knew that it would be better if they answered all the questions now instead of letting the reporters make up their own stories.
"Nervous?", Tony teased with a smile before he grew more serious. "We can still keep it secret. No-one has to-"
Bucky shook his head without taking his finger from Tony's mouth. "Yes, they do need to know. You are mine and I want everyone to know it."
And it didn't matter that he was still nervous, not when it made Tony smile like this, bright and beautiful and happy.
He also suspected that either Pepper or Loki - or possibly both - would kill him if he backtracked now; both had worked hard to make sure that them going public wouldn't hurt Tony or StarkIndustries.
Which reminded him ... "You know, if you want to help distract me ... I know why you've been alone with a naked Natasha, and Clint is just weird enough that I can see him starting a new religion about your ass when Loki made them all help with his little plan, but you never told me why Thor started complimenting you?"
And Tony ... cackled. His eyes lit up all the way and he honest-to-god cackled. "Thor? That was what started it?!"
Bucky glared, not sure why that should be a reason to laugh.
Though if it made Tony grin like that he didn’t really mind. "Thor wanted to woo Jane but he had no idea how humans do it and apparently on Asgard it is considered chic to bring your girlfriend the head of a freshly killed bilgesnipe which, you can imagine, Jane wasn't very thrilled about, especially when he told her he liked the way her thighs moved when she walked. So I told him he could try out his wooing skills on me."
Bucky stared. "Because you are also a genius scientist so he could try out pretty much the same compliments as he would make Jane. I'm an idiot."
"You are an idiot for not asking me whether I would prefer the God of Thunder to you, which, by the way, I don't."
"Yeah, I got that." Bucky smiled, then took Tony's hand when Pepper called for them.
Tony squeezed his hand. "Ready?"
"Ready."
And he was. Ready to step into the light and tell the whole world that he was the one Tony Stark had chosen.