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Friday night was movie night. It had been a tradition ever since Sebastian had helped you really move in. When you had first come to New York, you hadn’t unpacked. Not really. You were here for Once and when the show was over, you hadn’t been sure if you wanted to stay or not. You knew you weren’t going back to LA, but you hadn’t been sure if New York was your new home either.
When Sebastian had come by one day and seen your messy half-moved-in apartment, he had forced you to unpack. He had told you that you would never know if you could learn to love the city if you never gave her a chance. Yes, he had actually said her.
You weren’t sure if it was his logic or his love for the place shining through, but you decided to humor him. He had helped you unpack, and after that, you had eaten pizza and watched movies on your couch.
He had been right though. Having everything in order instantly made you feel more at home and not just like you were in between places. You started finding favorite spots in the city, which you loved sharing with Sebastian too.
Your friendship was weird, you thought as you jumped onto the train to get to his place. He hadn’t been home in a few weeks since he had been on set in Australia. Usually, you would go out on a Saturday either with Sebastian or some of the other friends you had made working on the musical over the summer, but Sebastian had called you earlier. He sounded tired from the jetlag and traveling, so you had suggested moving movie night this week since he hadn’t been home the past three Fridays anyway.
The truth was you had missed him and just wanted to spend time with you best friend any way you could. Best friend. You repeated the words inside your head. He surely was that, but the feelings you had developed after your one night together, when you had first met almost a year ago, had never subsided. You didn’t want to be that girl, so you never told him. That was the only thing you never told him though.
Sebastian had quickly gotten to be the person you went too with everything. Good news and bad. He was the one you wanted to celebrate with when you were happy and the one you needed to hug you when you were feeling down. The musical had ended a few months ago, and yet, you were still here. You had grown to love New York, but if you were completely honest with yourself, part of the reason you had never even considered moving somewhere else after the show ended was because you didn’t want to leave Sebastian.
You smiled at the thought of seeing him again. Even if he didn’t feel the way you felt about him, he was still important to you. You figured he always would be. You had never met anyone like him before. You had liked him from the first time you met, but getting to know him these past few months had made you see just how special he was.
He was handsome, sweet, soft and protective. You learned all of that the first time you met. Now you also knew him to be restless and energetic. He could never sit still for long, which was adorable and infuriating all at the same time. He was smart as hell too, even if he didn’t flaunt it. Sebastian was pretty quiet, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have opinions and was knowledgeable. He just didn’t feel the need to be the loudest spoken person in the room, which you kinda loved about him as well. He was creative and not just as an actor. He drew and wrote poems and short stories as well. There was a lot to love about Sebastian Stan, and he made it pretty damn impossible for you not to fall head over heels in love with him.
You practically skipped across the street to get to Sebastian’s building after exiting the subway. You rang the intercom, only to have him answer straight away.
“Come on up, Y/N. It’s open.”
“Gee hello to you too, Seba,” you teased, smiling when he chuckled over the intercom. He sounded tired but happy.
“Get your ass up here, and I’ll tell you hello,” he ordered, making you giggle as you hurried through the door and up the stairs.
Sebastian was standing in the doorway to his apartment as you reached his floor. A huge smile spread across his tired face when he saw you. God, he had missed you. More than he should. More than was appropriate given the fact he had not yet grown the courage to tell you how he felt. The truth was he was scared to lose you and the friendship you had now.
He opened his arms to you, and you ran straight into them, laughing when he lifted you off the floor with one arm and backed you both inside his apartment. You barely noticed the door close behind you as he lowered you down, but neither of you let go of each other. The hug was definitely inappropriately long for two friends. Neither of you cared though. You had missed each other too much, and being in each other’s arms again just felt right.
Sebastian closed his eyes, letting the feeling of home rush through him. He loved traveling, working and seeing the world. New York had always been home to him though, only now that was starting to shift. He still loved coming back to his city, but he didn’t truly feel at home anymore until he had seen you.
You pulled back a little, cupping his face in your hands, making him smile as he looked down into your beautiful eyes. They were sparkling with happiness, making Sebastian’s heart skip a beat.
“You look so tired. Was it a long flight?” you asked, a bit concerned. Maybe you should have let him rest. Movie night could wait.
“Yeah. This lady kept speaking to me. She was complaining about everything for the entire flight. Y/N, 14 hours,” Sebastian whined, making you laugh and tug his hair a little.
“Poor baby,” you teased, taking his hand and dragging him towards the couch.
“Let’s get you horizontal before you fall over,” you teased, squealing when Sebastian dug his fingers into your sides, tickling you in punishment.
Sebastian threw his head back in laughter when you jumped out of his reach, sticking your tongue out at him playfully.
“Pizza is already here,” you marveled, looking at the table filled with a couple of pizza boxes, snacks, and a six-pack of your favorite beer.
“Yeah. I knew that once I sit down I wouldn’t wanna get back up,” Sebastian shrugged, and a wave of bad conscience hit you again. You turned to face him, reaching out to tenderly rub his arm.
“Seba, we don’t have to do this tonight. You should sleep. I can go home and…” you started, but Sebastian interrupted you, pulling you into an unexpected hug. It didn’t take you more than a second to relax into him.
“I just need a quiet night in. It’s just jetlag, Y/N/N. I can’t sleep right now anyway,” Sebastian spoke quietly, and you nodded against his chest. You closed your eyes enjoying the closeness for a few more seconds, before pulling back with a smile.
“I bought a movie,” you grinned, quickly turning around and skipping into the hallway to retreat your purse. Sebastian was sitting in the corner of the couch, opening a couple of beers when you returned. You waved the Sherlock Holmes - Game of Shadows DVD in front of him as you sat down on the couch.
“Oh God,” Sebastian laughed, making you pull a face at him, hitting him with one of the pillows. Your attack only increased his laughter, and you pouted playfully.
“Hey you have been wanting to see it too,” you protested as Sebastian took the movie from you, popping it into the machine.
“Not to fangirl over Downey I don’t,” Sebastian teased, you as you handed him a piece of pizza from the box.
“Shut up,” you mumbled, and Sebastian laughed again.
“Why don’t you ask Chris to set up a way for you to meet him?” Sebastian asked, causing your eyes to widen, and you forgot to chew the pizza in your mouth.
“No! And don’t you dare say anything about this to Chris,” you scolded, but Sebastian just grinned, holding up his hands in defense.
“Our little secret. I promise,” Sebastian laughed as you glared at him. He raised his arm, offering for you to cuddle up against him as the movie began, and you instantly took him up on it. You rested your head against his shoulder, curling your legs up under you on the couch and draped your arm over his stomach. Sebastian wrapped his arm around his shoulder, and his free hand drew lazy patterns on your arm as you both watched the screen, laughing and chatting about what happened on the screen.
There had from the moment met been a comfortability between the two of you. Sebastian had always made you feel safe around him, but it was more than that. Hugging and cuddling just felt natural, even with the feelings you harbored for him.
Once the movie ended, you were so comfortable you were getting sleepy. You stayed in his arms, closing your eyes, just resting as the credits rolled. You knew you should probably get up and leave. Sebastian needed sleep, but you weren’t ready to go just yet.
Sebastian smiled softly as he watched you curled up against him. He loved moments like this. Where he got to pretend you were his. He loved the feeling of you in his arms, and he loved how comfortable and at ease you were around him. For a moment, Sebastian let his tired mind wander, imagining a world where he had already told you how he felt. A world where you were his girlfriend and there was no way he was going to ever lose you.
You suddenly looked up at him, and for a minute, Sebastian forgot he had only been daydreaming. There was something in the way you looked at him, so lovingly, that made him forget. You were already so close. It didn’t take much for Sebastian to lean down and softly press his lips against yours.
You froze, completely taken by surprise by his kiss. It didn’t last for longer than a second. Not long enough for you to wrap your head around what had just happened and respond to him. He pulled away with a look of panic in his eyes, sitting up straight and you followed him up.
“Oh God. I’m so sorry, Y/N… I…” Sebastian stammered, running his hands through his hair, not looking at you.
“Seb. Look at me please,” you begged, placing a hand on his arm. You were still trying to comprehend what had just happened. Right now, you were simply reacting to him being distressed. He hadn’t hurt you in the slightest, and you hated seeing him panic like this.
“It’s fine. We’re good,” you assured him, and he finally looked at you like you asked. You smiled softly, taking his hand, giving it a small squeeze.
“Seba. What was that?” you asked as you saw him relax a little, and a small hope sparked inside you. He had kissed you. It was brief, but Sebastian wouldn’t just kiss someone without reason.
“I’m sorry…” Sebastian repeated, but you just shook your head, stopping him as you moved a little closer.
“I’m not mad at you. Just… why?” you pushed, not letting go of his hand.
Sebastian’s stomach was doing flips. He felt as if he was going to throw up. He had messed up. What idiot just kisses someone out of the blue? But here you were. Looking at him with those big beautiful eyes of yours. You weren’t yelling at him or running away from him. You were just sitting right there, holding his hand, and for the first time, Sebastian believed he wasn’t going to lose you. Even if you didn’t feel the same about him, he could still tell you and not lose you. And maybe, just maybe, you did return his affections.
Sebastian took a deep breath, looking straight into your eyes. He knew he had to tell you. You deserved that much, and furthermore, he knew you were too stubborn to let him get off easy now. He smiled a little at the thought, giving your hand a small squeeze.
“I didn’t want to tell you like this, but I have wanted to tell you for a long time,” Sebastian started carefully, not looking away now. He had already messed up, but he wanted to finish this right. He wanted you to hear him. “I love you, Y/N. I’m in love with you.”
You felt as if your heart stopped beating for a moment, and you just sat there looking at him. You had wanted him to say this. That’s the reason you pushed him, but now that he had, you couldn’t believe it was true. You just sat there, looking at him. Right up until he started begging you to speak.
“Y/N. Say something. Please. Or slap me. Just do something,” Sebastian pleaded with you, clinging to your hand. He was terrified now, scared that you were going to run out of the apartment and never speak to him again. It was stupid. Deep down he knew you wouldn’t do that, but his anxiety didn’t.
“I love you too,” you blurted out, watching Sebastian’s eyes widen.
“What?” The disbelief in his voice made you laugh. It felt like a weight you hadn’t realized you had carried had been lifted off you.
You moved to straddle Sebastian’s lap, and his hands instinctively came to rest on your hips. You cupped his face, looking down on him. You were both smiling now, and you shook your head.
“We’re both really fucking dumb, you know that right?” you laughed, causing Sebastian to laugh with you.
“A perfect match.” Sebastian winked at you, leaning up, but let you close the gap between you this time. The kiss was deep and tender, filled with love and hope for the future.