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Kara smiles as she looks out over the lake, letting the peaceful sounds of nature wash over her. It'd taken some adjusting before she grew comfortable out here but after three months she can barely remember what the city was like.
"Your Mama's coming to visit tonight," she whispers to the tiny bundle in her arms as she watches the sun break over the trees. "Yeah, we get her all weekend this time. She's missed you, little one."
That's the only part of the retreat that's still hard on Kara, not having Cat by her side for every moment of their newest son's life. The first month had been easiest, despite adjusting to the immense change of secluded forest after busy city. Easiest, because Cat had been by her side every day, taking her own maternity leave from CatCo to help Kara settle in.
But she couldn't work from home when their home was hours away, and once her four weeks were up Cat returned to the city and her responsibilities. Now she could only make it out for weekends, and sometimes only a day at a time. The Board still wasn't happy she'd married and had a child with her former assistant, and every day Cat spent away from her company was another day risking a takeover attempt.
Kara understood all that, but it didn't make it easier. Not when she'd had to step away from her own duties until Dan-El was old enough to eat solid food. For all he was half human his appetite was all Kryptonian, and despite working for months on a formula they could use to supplement his feedings the still had nothing. Which meant Kara was on the hook for every feeding duty for at least the next few months until they could start to introduce solid food for him and give her a break.
Not that she minded being responsible for her son at all. She loved the moments of quiet peacefulness with her son no matter how often they came. But the strain of hearing sirens in the distance and being unable to rush out and help had become too great a strain soon after Dan-El was born. Before, she could tell herself it was too dangerous to rush off while pregnant. She couldn't risk the life of her son, or risk the world finding out about his existence.
But after, when it was only her life in danger, it was harder. Yes, she was still responsible for her son's well being. But there were others available to care for him as well, and she had a responsibility to the city as well. It was harder to argue with an abstract thought that only she could provide something Dan-El needed when she could see Cat holding him close and soothing his cries. Cat loved and cared for him every bit as deeply as Kara, but only Kara could produce the nourishment he needed to survive. If she died or was even seriously injured there would be no way to feed him.
She'd never knowingly risk leaving her child without one of his mothers, but she couldn't bear the thought of letting another child in the city suffer that fate either. It tore her apart every time she heard someone call for help and she had to sit back in a chair and try to shut them out.
That's why Cat had insisted they leave the city when the strain began to affect Kara's health. If hearing trouble in the distance was too much, then they'd go someplace the sound didn't carry until Kara could help once more.
It wasn’t perfect, but it was the best they could do.
“Your Mama is a very wise woman,” she continues as the silence stretched on, starting to grate on her nerves. She’s working hard at keeping her hearing turned down to human levels as practice for when they return to the city, but that means it’s nearly silent most of the time, and she’s taken to talking at Dan-El to fill the emptiness. “She’s important too, no matter what the Board says. And if Supergirl has to take a few months off, I’m glad National City has her to look after them.”
“It’ll still be nice to have you back,” a voice comes from behind them, and only long practice at not moving too quickly around the baby keeps Kara from spinning in shock.
“Cat, you weren’t supposed to be here until later!”
“One of the Board members was caught cheating on his wife and has decided to resign, the others aren’t interested in adding to any potential controversy by ousting me,” Cat explains as she crosses the room to take her son, holding him close as she closes her eyes with a peaceful look on her face. Kara understands, she can’t imagine being away from him as often as Cat is, and she knows it grates on her wife. “I left early and told them I’d be gone Monday too, James is covering for me and knows to call at the slightest sign of them starting something.”
Kara nods, knowing that if James is on the case he probably has Winn helping keep a discrete eye on things, namely their emails and cell records. Not all that legal, and inadmissible in court, but it would give Cat plenty of warning to shore up her defenses before any ploys are set in motion.
“Well, for once I’m thankful for rich white men and their belief they’ll never get caught breaking the rules,” Kara teases as she stands to wrap her arms around her wife and child. “Four whole days with you sounds amazing.”
“You know I wish I could be here more,” Cat starts guiltily, but Kara cuts her off.
“Of course I do, Cat. And you know I’d love to be back in National City with you, but right now it’s not possible.” They’ve had this disagreement before, but Kara refuses to let Cat walk away from CatCo over something temporary. Another two or three months, and she should be back in their home where she belongs. “With the Board backing off hopefully you can be here more often, and it shouldn’t be long until we can start him on solid foods anyway. Once his system develops enough to process human food he’ll only need to breastfeed to supplement for his nutrients, so I’ll actually have enough time between feedings to pump.”
Honestly, Kara is looking forward to that for dozens of reasons. One, having a child with Kryptonian appetite dependent solely on her for sustenance greatly limits her freedom of movement. Hourly feedings make it hard to go anywhere or do anything.
Second, she wants Carter to have every chance to bond with his new brother. Adam too, when he has time. They can’t do that out here, not with school and work and friends. They’ve each been out a few times but never enough to really spend time bonding as siblings. Not even to the extent an infant can manage.
Third, she knows Cat wants to feed her son, but Dan-El eats so often Kara doesn’t have time or spare milk to pump a bottle so she can. The closest they’ve managed is holding him between them while he nurses, and while that was nice, it wasn’t the same for her and Kara knows it.
It’s still better than nothing, and when their son starts to fuss right on schedule Kara hands him over to Cat while she fiddles with her shirt. They’ve done this often enough that Cat knows the drill, and once Kara is ready she brings Dan-El to her breast to quiet him while Cat slips off her own shirt so they hold their child together skin to skin. Kara doesn’t know if the bare skin contact as important for a half Kryptonian baby as it is for a fully human one but she never wants to risk stunting his development.
“We’ll be back soon and it’ll all be worth it, you’ll see,” Kara whispers, leaning her head forward to rest against Cat’s. She misses these moments of closeness more than anything else while they’re apart.
Soon, though. Soon she won’t have to miss them.
They stand quietly while Dan-El eats, each leaning down occasionally to kiss his head and inhale his sweet baby scent. And when he finishes, he looks up at his mothers with a smile that melts their hearts all over again.
“It’s already worth it,” Cat says, closing her eyes and moving to pull Kara close when she shifts their son to her shoulder. “This could never be anything less.”