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It's sometime past 5 pm when Ravi finally returns to the apartment.
His hair is windswept from all the walking he's been doing, heart thrumming with the excitement of seeing someone he hadn't met in a very long time.
Leo took him to all his favorite places in the city- gardens, bakeries, art galleries- barely stopping to breath through the journey. They moved like the wind, never stopping for anyone or anything, too caught up in the conversation to even notice anything besides themselves.
There was a lot of catching up going on. A century apart, so many changes and new memories. They reminisced about the past, laughed about so much, turned sad several times at certain memories. When he finally turned to leave, Ravi felt his heart soothe. It felt like finishing a circle. No loose ends.
The apartment is dark, clearly empty. The lights are off and there's not a sound to break the silence in the cool, still air- not a breath, not a rustle.
His fingertips are cold when he reaches into his back pocket to call Jaehwan, and his screen lights up with more than a dozen notifications.
His heart misses a beat when he realizes that he left his phone on silent mode, and didn't bother checking it for the whole day, and oh fuck, fuck, the notification reads 13 missed calls from Jaehwan.
How did he let this happen?
His mind races back past the day he had, trying to see where had he gone wrong. Maybe... should he have stopped it after a few minutes, said "sorry, I have plans", but then he just...
Kept following Leo, the way he used to do before.
He doesn't feel a thrum inside him anymore. Whatever he used to feel, 100 years ago, isn't there anymore. And still...
Old habits are hard to break.
He presses the call button and holds up the phone to his ear whilst holding the side of the dinner table, looking pointedly at the white marble- it's my fault, it's all mu fault, I'm an idiot-
The line beeps 10 times before turning to voicemail. Ravi hangs up and tries again.
It takes some minutes, and almost a dozen of unanswered calls, before he gives up.
He drops his phone weakly to the table, cringing at the thud it makes. It really is his fault.
♠♠♠
Jaehwan can't sleep.
He stares at the ceiling, illuminated in the soft moonlight coming from the window of Hongbin's living room, and thinks about how unfair it is that his boyfriend dares to disappear like that.
The rational part of his brain knows that he should just answer his phone, give Ravi a chance to explain everything, solve the problem-
He doesn't.
At first he's relieved when he sees the screen light up with Ravi's contact info, ringing loudly. He's not dead then. But then, why wouldn't he answer him for the whole day?
He's boiling with anger by the second time Ravi calls him and he turns the volume off, putting the phone aside on Hongbin's tiny kitchen table.
His friend left for his night shift just after allowing him to stay the night, and now there he was, sprawled across a creaky sofa, feeling strangely exposed under the single thin blanket. He isn't even tired, but there's nothing much to do anyways.
If Ravi can disappear without a trace, then so can he.
♠♠♠
Jaehwan wakes up extra early, as hard as it is to do so after barely a couple hours of sleep. He collects his things- the phone and the wallet, and takes the bus back to the apartment.
He unlocks the door as quietly as he can, takes his shoes off and pads silently to the bedroom, looking into the room warily.
Ravi is sleeping. Of course he is. He doesn't bother waking up early, just sleeps his way through the day like some lazy cat.
He's snoring, face in his pillow and arms laying limply on the covers. Oblivious to Jaehwan's presence.
Jaehwan wishes he was awake, so that he could shout at him, scream at him for just taking off without notice on a day they were supposed to spend together, but he doesn't want to simply get close, wake him up as if it's just another morning.
So he goes into the kitchen and starts making one toast, one egg and one cup of tea, making sure to bang the pots as loudly as he can while doing so.
On a normal day his boyfriend sleeps through it, but this time, before the fried egg is even ready, he hears soft padding footsteps behind him, stopping at the entrance to the kitchen.
A small pause.
“Jyani?"
He doesn't turn around, no matter how much his heart is beating because thank god, he's okay, he's not dead or hurt- so he doesn't say anything. He stays silent, pouring his tea into a cup, trying not to shake.
He lets out a non commital hum, putting the kettle back into it's spot, miraculously not spilling a drop. He can't turn around, not yet. He reaches for the sugar, even though he just wants something bitter and rough.
"Where have you been?" Ravi asks from behind him, closer this time. He sounds sleepy, and soft, and confused- everything he shouldn't be.
"Where have I been? Where have I been?" Jaehwan can feel a barrier inside him shattering into fine glass shards. "Where have you been? I called you a million times, I sent you texts... And nothing."
Ravi stays silent for a long second, and then his feet are padding closer to Jaehwan. He tries to spend more time without turning, this time cutting a slice of lemon as slowly as possible.
"I'm sorry," Ravi whispers and wraps around arms around Jaehwan's middle, the sleeves of a loose sweatshirt pooling around his knuckles. He noses into Jaehwan's shoulder, breathing slowly, warm breaths.
"Seriously?" Jaehwan pushes the tea aside to untangle himself from the demon, shaking his hands away and taking a couple of steps aside. When he turns around Ravi is still where he stood a second ago, a hand slightly outstreched to Jaehwan.
"Are you seriously acting as if you didn't do anything?" He asks, trying to sound as cold and angry as he should be, but it turns out pleading, almost whiny. He hates it.
"At least tell me where the fuck did you go!"
Ravi practically shrinks in his spot, hand dropping to hang limply at his side. "I'm sorry, okay?"
"This isn't what I asked you. I want to know where have you been on a day we planned to spend together, without even telling me if you were okay, if you were alive-"
"Fine, fine, okay," Ravi pulls a hand to rest against the counter. His eyebrows furrow in discomfort, eyes not meeting Jaehwan's gaze.
Jaehwan waits. For a long, agonizing moment, it is silent.
"I just went on a walk, and then... I met someone I hadn't seen in a long time, and we, um, we tried to catch up."
"Sorry to interrupt, since when does 'catching up' take half a day, and magically makes your phone turn off? What kind of catching up were you doing?"
"What are you implying?" Ravi's voice turns rough and he frowns.
"Nothing more than what is obvious," Jaehwan doesn't stop to measure his voice. The barrel is rolling away. "Can you talk already?"
Ravi's hand clutches the edge of the counter, veins thickening dangerously. "We just drank some coffee and had lunch! We were talking, jesus, that's all! I forgot to check my phone, it was on silent!"
"Really? You and which friend, remind me?"
Jaehwan sighs when the demon averts his eyes to look meaningfully at the kitchen counter, at the wall, at the cooling mug of tea- anything but the other man.
Jaehwan sighs again, a certain kind of discomfort squeezing his chest. He doesn't want to go there, he really doesn't, but it feels inevitable.
"A friend that you haven't seen in along time? Say... A century?"
Ravi inhales sharply, still not meeting his gaze, and Jaehwan bites his lip with frustration.
"Really? Really?"
He can't do anything, he just turns around and runs a hand through his hair, huffs out whatever air is left in his lungs. He feels it making his heart clench with anxiety and frustration, and he wants to scream. He really wants to scream.
"Can you at least listen to me?"
"Yes, yes, please tell me," Jaehwan turns back to him with a frown. "Tell me everything about how you met again your lovely ex. Id absolutely love to hear everything about the day you spent together. Of course I want to know! Every single thing, please!"
"You fucking asked!"
"Jesus Christ!"
Ravi turns around and stomps back to the bedroom, throwing the door shut behind him.
Jaehwan makes sure his shoes hit the floor as loudly as possible as he walks to the front door, and doesn't bother making sure it's completely closed when he leaves.
♠♠♠
Jaehwan takes a corner for himself at a coffee shop that's not too far from the apartment. It's one he knows well, from the pastries at the glass display to the variety of tea flavors.
He takes 2 cups of tea, just for himself, because damn it he deserves it. He needs to relax.
The waitress knows him, he's been coming to this cafe for years, ever since he moved to this part of Seoul- he doesn't come too often, but he's considered a regular.
He bites into a croisant that almost explodes with strawberry jam, feeling his nerves settle down momentarily as he eats, sipping on the cooling chamomile tea.
He doesn't leave right away when he's finished, just orders another cup of tea, drinking slowly as he stares out of the window. He's right in the middle of the town- there's always people passing by, the not-so-faint sounds of cars prominent around him. The cafe isn't even close to being full- other than him it's just a few old ladies laughing quietly into their coffees and 2 businessmen pointing at their computer screens and speaking in money terms.
He should be training right now. His trainers are going to give him shit for skipping whole days like this, questioning his whereabouts until his ears fall off. But even training isn't a solution. It's been another problem nagging at his mind lately- he's not up to his expectations.
Other than having a record in skipping hours, he's not rising to the top fast enough. It's always another trainee learning the moves faster, hitting the notes better, making a stronger presence. It's never him that gets invited to showcases, never the one to land the role whenever someone needs a backup dancer or background vocals.
It's like every single element in his life is trying to make to make him quit.
And he does. He wants to quit everything. He could run away to some far away beach, spend all his savings on pineapples and mango slices and coconut-scented suncream. He'd spend all his time warming himself in the sand, waddling through the shallow waters and looking for crabs and silver fish.
Oh, how nice could it be...
Not that he could do that anyways.
He has his job, relationship, responsibilities- too many things to leave behind. This life is tiring him.
He pays, leaves a handsome tip, and leaves on foot.
Maybe I'm overreacting?
He wonders as he takes unusually slow steps on his way back to the apartment, restless and anxious.
Ravi wouldn't do anything like that, right? Ravi loves him. They're together. This isn't nothing for him, right? There has to be an explanation, one that would put him at ease, he just didn't linger long enough to hear it. Yes, this must be it.
The last thing he wants to do is walk right back, but now he's feeling a drop of guilt- he should've tried to solve this like an adult, not a teenager.
He sighs, and walks faster.
His heart beats a bit faster when he steps out of the elevator, facing the familiar blackwood door. It's closed but not locked- it slides open easily when Jaehwan gives it a push.
Ravi is nowhere to be seen at first- Jaehwan takes his shoes off, humming at the pleasant warmth of the apartment while he checks the rooms for the demon.
He finds him a couple of minutes later, bundled up in a faded blue blanket on the old couch on the balcony. Ravi is staring off into the distance, an open book forgotten by his side, an empty mug resting on the armset.
He turns halfway when Jaehwan approaches, following him with a downturned gaze.
Jaehwan doesn't sit beside him- he leans against the balcony railing, and stares.
Ravi doesn't speak either, and Jaehwan swallows his pride.
"I'm sorry. Please speak."
Ravi looks up, finally, and he looks like a sad kid. Jaehwan feels himself soften immediately.
"I know it's been long," he says after a long moment of silence, voice raspy and low. He averts his gaze for a moment, but then he returns- determined and strong.
"It's been long, but... A lot has changed. When me and Leo parted ways, it wasn't on very good terms. It was hard, really." Ravi stops to release a breath. "It wasn't because we didn't love each other anymore, or because we wanted other people. It was just... Timing, I guess you could call it that. We couldn't have a relationship, especially being two men. And at some point it was too hard, and we were both tired of it, and he decided that it was time to finish it."
Jaehwan doesn't want to hear anything about the so-called Leo. He really doesn't. But he knows he has to listen for Ravi's sake.
"And what we ended, was one hell of a relationship. I mean, it was half a millennium, but other than that... Me and him, we've been through a lot. We taught each other how to be better. We were a family at some point."
Jaehwan shudders at that, but all Ravi does is smile a sad smile, looking straight into his eyes.
"We went through a lot together, that's what I'm trying to say. And when we parted ways we left a lot of unfinished endings behind us, things we never got to resolve. Things that were eating me up for the last century, inside out, things I needed to know, answers I had to say myself. And yesterday, I saw him by chance, and I could've walked away, but I'll tell you truth- I went to him, and made sure he'd recognize me. And yesterday, we sat down and we spoke about everything that we left behind. Everything we didn't resolve back then, we finished yesterday. We went to every place he could think of, we sat on every bench and chair, and we may have cried a bit because of some things we suddenly remembered."
Jaehwan blinks a few times- there are tears gathering at the bottom of Ravi's eyes, and his heart is clenching painfully for a reason he can't put into words, and he listens to every single word.
"This- this is the end of a road, a road I forgot I was still walking. I feel- I feel so relieved, Jyani! I feel so good, I didn't know I could feel better!" He sniffs, and a tear or two roll down his cheeks, leaving a shiny trail behind. "I know you're angry, but this is important to me. I got to hear things I waited for years to hear, and I sais things I didn't want to say, but I had to. And... That's it, I think. Yeah, that's it. I won't be gone like this again. Me and him are done. What we had, the family we had and the memories we made together- it's all a part of me. This is what shaped me, Jyani, this is what made me into the person I am. The person that can be with you, care about you and look after you, and love you with every fiber of being. I don't want to disappoint you anymore, so please, forgive me for today, and let me make everything up to you."
The wind whirls around them, on the balcony on the 15th floor, and Jaehwan bites his lip as he looks at Ravi's face, shiny with tears. His eyes, that familiar and special ice blue, open and pleading- so sincere that he feels himself starting to breath heavier, eyes tingling with emotion.
He takes a cautious step forward, and then another- and then a few more, and he ends up right in front of Ravi, looking down at the man that he loves. Someone who taught him to love like that, with every fiber of his being, right down to his very core.
He smiles through his unshed tears. "How could I ever not forgive you?"
And with that he falls down and Ravi takes him into his arms and they crash into the sofa, pulling each other impossibly closer, tangled like two vines around each other.
Jaehwan breaths into Ravi's hair, feeling the wetness of tears against his shoulder, making sure his hands never leave their place around Ravi's middle. That's where he belongs, he knows, and his heart is giddy with fluttering love, washing over him, making him cry even harder.
It's a minute or two later when Ravi's sniffling quiets down, and he moves his head away to get them face to face.
Jaehwan almost chuckles at the demon's face, flushed red and wet with tears,and he moves one hand to wipe Ravi's eyes with his thumb, making him smile shyly.
"I know it hasn't been long," Ravi says suddenly, quietly but sincerely. "I haven't known you for long. At all. But... I love you, truthfully and completely. And I can't wait to spend tomorrow with you, and the next day, and the day after, until you decide you don't want me anymore. You're the only one in my heart, and this won't change."
They find themselves clinging to each other again, pressing kisses into every nook and crane of skin they can find inside their tight embrace.
He's relieved, he's so relieved- and he whispers it to his lover, small I love you's thrown into the cool air as they stay wrapped around each other.
It's where he belongs, he can feel it.