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He’s been trying for a month now.
A complete month of attempt after attempt after attempt, and so far… nothing. Not even a dent.
He knows he doesn’t need to exactly… woo Deku. The nerd’s been his fanboy since the day they met, and yea he was kind of blind to that for a while, but he gets it now. Its been over a year since their big fight back during first year, so yea, he gets it.
Their ‘proper rivals,’ as All Might likes to put it… whatever the fuck that means, and even friends again to a degree, but the thing is… he wants to be more.
Like, so, so, sooo much more with the nerd.
He wants to date the idiot. Hold his hand, wipe his tears, and kiss him goodnight. He wants to stay by Deku’s side. He wants to warm the nerd up when he looks to cold, and massage away all his dumb aches and pains. He wants to see him smile and laugh, and be the one making him smile and laugh. He wants to love Deku with everything’s he’s got and be loved back.
It’s honestly embarrassing how much he likes the little shit.
He’s come to accept it though.
There’s only so much denial a man can handle in his life before it becomes to much.
He also really, really, reaaaally wants to rip of every piece of Deku’s clothes and slip his tongue in places it shouldn’t be, and fuck him raw against a wall (He absolutely refuses to believe that Deku is anything less than a kinky shit. Nobody can be that smiley and innocent), but uh… first he needs to actually ask the guy out.
Which is not easy.
Like at all…
Because Deku is oblivious.
Like… it’s absolutely amazing just how oblivious the guy is.
And okay, so maybe he hasn’t actually you know asked the guy using actual words like Pinky keeps telling him too, but what does she know? Him and Deku have always communicated through action. Action works for them. It’s not his fault Deku is oblivious to all his subtle hints and lingering touches.
Plus, talking isn’t really one of his strong points. He’s working on it, but uh… work in progress or whatever.
The thing is though that he could literally carry a sign around his neck confessing his love to the little shit, and Deku still wouldn’t notice.
Actually…
That might work.
---
He starts with a subtler t-shirt. He knows he should be more obvious when it comes to Deku, but he’s hopeful okay. He’d like to walk away with some dignity.
The shirt is black with a green bunny enclosed in a bright red heart.
And not like a girly bunny and heart, but like a hardcore bunny and heart.
Deku never questions him.
Earjacks asks if it’s a band shirt for a band she’s never heard of.
The bunny shirt is a failure.
Damnit.
---
He goes with more obvious for his next shirt. Pride be damned.
It’s another black shirt, but this time it literally says “Will you go out with me?” in dull orange letters.
All day he tried to get Deku to read his shirt. Does everything in his power. He even attempts talking like Glasses using the same hand motions and everything just to see if that will bring enough attention to himself.
But nothing. Nada.
In fact, Deku seems to be doing everything in his power to avoid Katsuki’s chest.
Pinky just sighs at him when she see’s the shirt.
He flips her off.
---
He decides to go with something more… eye catching next.
He’s pretty certain this will work just by the sure fact that Pikachu hadn’t taken his eyes off Katsuki’s shirt ever since he sat down. It’s even purple instead of black, and has bright-ass-blue text.
“Does… does your shirt say, ‘Swiggity Swooty, let me in that booty’….”
He glances at the other blonde perplexed.
“I didn’t know you could read.”
“Is this real… this can’t be real… I,” Pikachu looks to Halfy who seems more interested in his cereal than the crisis-stricken idiot next to him. “Are you seeing this? His shirt really says that, right?"
He ignores them both. He’s got better shit to focus on.
“Good morning everyone!”
Ah, right on time.
He stands from his seat and makes sure to stand just right so every word of his newest shirt is on full display. He even makes sure to flex a bit, because well… he can.
“Deku.”
Deku freezes on spot. His eyes wide. His face red.
Bingo.
“Kacchan! I uh… oh um it appears I forgot something in my room! Excuse me!”
And like that Deku is gone before Katsuki even has time to blink. A trail of green energy the only indication he was even there.
“Huh.”
He glares over at Halfy who seems to be giving his cereal a break from his unnerving apathetic stare to stare at Katsuki.
“Swiggity swooty, you ain’t getting that booty.”
“Fuck off!”
---
“I really think you should just talk to him.”
“Fuck you! I know what I’m doing.”
Pinky huffs at him. He ignores her in favor of scrolling through his phone trying to find his next t-shirt he’s going to use.
“Hey um Kacchan?”
He glances up to see Deku standing before him seeming nervous and somewhat uncomfortable.
“What do you want, Nerd?”
“I um… what do you think of my shirt?”
“Your shirt?”
The fuck?
He looks to Deku’s shirt. It’s mainly black with an orange X going across it. The words “#1 Fan” written across the other boy’s chest.
“Looks fine to me.”
Next to him Pinky makes a noise like she’s physically dying. He ignores her in favor of going back to scrolling through his phone.
---
“Please don’t tell me you got another shirt. I don’t think Kaminari has gotten over the last one yet.”
“Pikachu will reboot eventually,” he folds the pants of his Hero suit neatly and places them safely back away in their case. “Plus, the shirts are going to work. You’ll see!”
“Bro…”
“Don’t you Bro me, Shitty Hair! I know what I’m doing!”
He sets his shirt down on top of his pants and… wait a second.
…. The black… the orange X…
HOLY SHIT!
He quickly stashes the rest of his costume and dashes out of the locker room. Outside the doorway Pinky stands looking like the smug bitch he knows she is.
“So, I see you finally figured it out.”
He flips her off again.
---
“NERD!”
He kicks in Deku’s door and marches his way into Deku’s room.
“K-kacchan?”
“YOU STOLE MY IDEA!”
“I…what?”
“THAT FUCKING #1 FAN T-SHIRT SHIT! I’VE BEEN WORKING MY ASS OFF ALL FUCKING WEEK TRYING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION USING FUCKING SHIRTS AND THEN YOU FUCKING STEAL ME IDEA JUST TO SEDUCE ME WITH MY OWN GOD DAMN MERCH!”
“S-seduce you? What? I was just trying to be supportive I… wait you were trying to get my attention?”
“Deku, I’ve literally been trying to ask you out for like two months now. I literally wore a shirt that said, “Will you go out with me?”
“I didn’t realize it was for me!” The nerd’s face goes red as he slaps himself on the cheeks. “Even swiggity swooty?”
He nods.
“Even swiggity swooty.”
“Oh… I … wait you… you honestly thought I was trying to seduce you?”
“That shit’s hot Deku. Think if I was wearing that same shirt, but in your colors.”
“Oh.”
The nerd’s cheeks somehow grow redder. He nibbles at his lip as he seems to think something over. His eyes going to his hamper across the room.
“Do you,” he looks back to Katsuki with a soft, somewhat shy smile. “Do you want me to put it back on?”
Katsuki kicks the door shut.
He fucking knew the nerd was a kinky shit.
---
“Told you my plan would work!”
“Yea, but… did you really have to get another shirt?”
“Of fucking course, I did. Had to make sure everyone knows the score.” He leans back on the couch and spreads himself making sure to everyone a good look at his newest shirt. This one is a dark green color, similar to Deku’s hero suit and in white letter says, ‘Swiggity Swooty, I got the Booty’ written across the chest.
He smirks.
It’s honestly easily becoming his second favorite shirt. His first being a certain crumbled up black and orange cum covered shirt sitting at the top of Deku’s hamper.
Who knew t-shirts could be so romantic.