Chapter Text
Brian didn't know when it started. It just sort of happened right under his nose when he wasn’t even aware. He feels kind of stupid. He pulled into the car park and climbed out of his car and sighed. He didn’t know what to expect when he entered his flat. A month ago he would’ve entered to a happy Roger who would cover him in kisses and never let him go. They would talk about how their day had gone and drink tea whilst wrapped in each others arms, and Freddie and John would be sat making gagging noises in the background, which Roger would always respond with a “shut the fuck up” and a laugh. However this hadn’t happened in a while. It just started dwindling out off their lives. Brian was always waiting for Roger when he came home. That’s when he noticed the change. Roger would greet him less and less. It went from being hugs and kisses, to just hugs, and then to just a hello. Sometimes he didn’t even get that. Brian tried, he really did, but Roger always came up with an excuse; he was tired or hungover, or some other crap he could come up with. Brian new something wasn’t right. So today, as he unlocked the door and stepped inside, he waited as usual but realised it was a day when he wouldn’t get anything. It was just silent in the flat. But he new Roger had to be here. There was no where else he could be at this time.
“Roger?”
When Brian didn’t get a reply, he decided to look for him. He searched the living room, the kitchen and the bathroom with no sign of him. This means he was probably in the bedroom.
Brian pushed the open to the bedroom to see Roger curled up in the bed, his back to the door.
“Roger?” Brian asked. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine Bri” came the mumbled response.
Brian made his way over to the bed and climbed in. He wrapped his arms around the blonde and Roger snuggled his face into Brian’s chest.
“I know you’re not Rog. What’s the matter?”
Roger sniffed, and tore his face away from Brian’s chest so that his, normally bright, dull blue eyes met Brian’s.
“I don’t know Bri. Just… don’t leave” he murmured before hiding his face against Brian again. Brian sighed and began stroking the blonde’s hair.
“I’m not going anywhere” he said, kissing the top of Roger’s head. “I love you Roger Taylor.”
“I love you too Brian May.”
As he held Roger, Brian thought about how Roger had changed from the affectionate, loud-mouthed, blue eyed boy he fell in love with to someone who was the complete opposite. He really needed to figure out what had made him like this.
After a while, Roger fell asleep, so Brian quietly slipped away and out the room to make a cup of tea. Once he sat back down in the living room, he went over the mental notes he had kept of Roger over the past month, all the things that no one would’ve noticed unless you were Brian, because Brian knew Roger like the back of his hand.
As well as Roger not being as affectionate as he used to be, Brian also realised he wasn’t as social either, in conversations he would mumble answers, sometimes he would just zone out in conversations that he wasn't having any input in, and when conversations were becoming heated, he was the first to back down, which is completely unlike him as he would be the first one to start an argument and wouldn’t ever back down even if he was in the wrong. This sent alarm bells ringing in Brian’ s head.
Brian also realised that Roger didn’t have his usual energy after shows. He would normally be buzzing and they would all go to a party and get absolutely shit faced. But the past few shows, Roger said he wasn’t up to it and just went back to the hotel instead. This not only surprised Brian but also Freddie and John, especially Freddie as he and Roger were like partners in crime when it came to drinking.
Brian also worryingly noticed that Roger’s appetite was next to nothing. He went from being able to eat a whole buffet table, to skipping meals constantly. The only time Brian would see him eat was at dinner, and even then he wouldn’t finish the whole plate.
And what was even more worrying to Brian was that they hadn’t had sex in about 2 weeks. Normally, it was every day or every other day because Roger was always in the mood. But obviously not any more. This made Brian think that maybe this was all because of him. Maybe he had said or done something to hurt him. However nothing came to mind, and even though Roger wasn’t as affectionate, he still wanted affection sometimes, such as earlier when he had let Brian cuddle him and kiss his forehead. He hadn’t completely shut Brian out, which Brian was grateful for, even if it was only a small thing.
Brian really had no clue why Roger had been acting like this, and so he decided to talk to Freddie and John about it in the morning. He couldn’t face them tonight though. He needed to get his head around the information he had gathered, so decided to head to bed before they got back.
He downed the rest of his tea and headed upstairs. When he entered the bedroom, he wasn’t sure if Roger was still asleep or not so decided to just keep quiet anyway as he got undressed down to his boxers. He pulled the duvet up and climbed inside next to Roger. Roger was facing Brian with his eyes closed, but from the way his breathing was still hitching now and then as though he had been crying, Brian wasn’t sure if he was faking or not. Brian went to wrap his arms around Roger to bring him closer, but Roger pulled away and rolled over, his back now facing Brian, as he mumbled a “sorry Bri”. Brian was unsure why Roger had done this and became confused but not entirely surprised. Brian just stayed where he was, lying facing Roger’s back, and so decided that if Roger wouldn’t let him cuddle him then he was just going to stroke his hair instead. He started small, just stroking the ends that were sticking out from behind Roger’s head. Roger made no act to stop him, so Brian carried on and slowly made his way up to the top of Roger’s head, so that he could run his fingers through it properly.
After a while, Roger’s breathing evened out and became softer, and Brian laid his forehead against Roger’s head, smelling his hair, and wishing he new how to fix everything.