Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Robbie Rotten arrived at the cow billboard panting, the stench of death filling his nostrils with every inhalation. Even with his wounds closed, his own dried bodily fluids still clumped his hair and caked on his skin. Words from the skogsfru, from what felt like a lifetime ago, echoed in his head:
Unclean, unclean, UNCLEAN!
           “No!”
The fae forced himself to take a deep breath, but gagged on the odor of decay.
           “I’m not...”
Shuddering, Robbie opened a hatch and slid into his lair, making a beeline for the shower. Even as the hot water flowed over his body, and the puddle at his feet turned black, he still didn’t feel clean.
His back still bare, Robbie crept toward his disguise tubes and pulled a mirror down from the ceiling. He stared at his paper thin wings, which Sportacus had called beautiful just a week prior. The flesh between them still held a hint of discoloration; next to the glimmering purple, it looked grey and disgusting.
Unclean.
Robbie brought his hand up, brushing his fingertips over his reflection.
           “I did this to myself. If I had just been more powerful...”
His hand dropped to his side and his shoulders dropped.
           “Why did I have to so useless?
Suddenly, Robbie tensed. Purple sparks danced around his fingers.
           “Why did I have to be be part human?!”
He pounded his fist against the mirror, and with a flash of purple, it shattered.

Sportacus stared at his reflection, feeling nauseous. When he had risen that morning, body sore from sleeping in the cockpit and eyes red from crying, he had been quick to exchange the elven armor for his normal hero uniform. All it seemed to do, however, was highlight how wild he still looked: Sportacus’s upright posture was clearly forced, his teeth were sharp when he smiled, and his pointed ears kept twitching under his hat as if they were annoyed at being covered. Worst of all, the elf found himself unable to retract his claws. Sportacus couldn’t even cover them, as neither shoes nor gloves would fit.
The ship’s AI spoke up, startling the elf.
           “Sportacus, I must remind you that Mayor Meanswell requested a meeting with you in the town hall today.”
           “I know!”
With a growl, he tore the cap from his head and ran his clawed fingers through the fluffy blond hair. The sensation eased some of the tension in his brow.
           “I know. Ship, land on the outskirts of town.”
           “That would be inefficient, Sportacus. Our current position is closer to your destination. Could you not simply jump out here?”
His voice cracked as he replied.
           “I don’t want everybody to see me, not like this.”
Wordlessly, the ship changed course to fulfill his request. Sportacus nodded his thanks and hopped onto the ground. He kept his head down as he shuffled toward town hall. The mayor stood on the steps.
           “Come into my office, Sportacus.”
The elf meekly followed him inside. Tension hung thickly in the air.
           “I need you to tell me everything that happened, Sportacus. Don’t leave a single detail out.”
The elf closed his eyes and opened his mouth, letting the events of the past week spill out. Milford listened silently, showing no reaction to the story. Finally, Sportacus ran out of words, and it was the mayor’s turn to speak.
           “From what you’ve told me, it sounds like all of this...magic business is over. But you’re still acting differently. You don’t look like you did before. Why? What’s wrong?”
           “I can’t—I can’t change back. Something happened while I was fighting the skogsfru...something snapped.”
Mayor Meanswhile sat in silence for a time, absorbing the information. Sportacus wriggled in his seat until the mayor finally spoke again.
           “Can I trust you around the children?”
           “I don’t know.”
Another heavy silence hung between them. This time, Sportacus was the one to break it.
           “Mayor, I’m sorry.”
           “You’re dismissed, Sportacus. I need time to think about this.”
The elf shuffled out of the office, also deep in thought. What if Mayor Meanswell decides that he was unfit to be around the kids anymore? What if he let Sportacus stay, but it turned out to that he was too dangerous?
           “Maybe it would be for the best if I just left.”
Suddenly, the crystal on his chest blared, startling the hero.
           “Someone’s in trouble!”
He let the crystal connect to his mind so he could see the situation. The images were strangely blurred, as if something were interfering with the picture. Even so, Sportacus could make out twisted, mechanical shapes and the silhouette of a lanky man. His blood ran cold.
           “Robbie!”

Chapter Text

Without thinking, Sportacus dropped to all fours and dashed toward the villain’s lair. He moved so swiftly that his limbs were a blur; in no time at all, the elf had reached his destination. Magic hung so thickly in the air that it made his head spin. When Sportacus opened the hatch leading underground, the feeling of being drenched in magic became even stronger.
           “Robbie! Can you hear me?”
Sportacus strained his pointed ears, and just barely made out Robbie’s reply.
           “Sportacus...?”
The elf leapt down the tube and landed next to the fluffy orange chair. He scanned the lair; instead of its usual organized chaos, all the inventions appeared degraded and broken. Even the disguises in their tubes looked like they’d been attacked by moths. Sportacus spotted Robbie huddled in the corner of the room, surrounded by broken glass.
           “Robbie! What happened?”
           “G-go away! Don’t look at me!”
Despite the villain’s protests, Sportacus ran to his side.
           “Please, let me help you!”
After a moment’s pause, Robbie held one of his hands out to Sportacus. His fingers were cut and bleeding.
           “Oh, Robbie...”
The elf gently took the offered hand. Blue light shone from his claws and soaked into Robbie’s skin, sealing the gashes. Even once the flesh was healed, however, Sportacus couldn’t bring himself to let go.
           “What happened?”
           “...I was angry.”
           “About what?”
The magic in the air pulsated, making the hairs on Sportacus’s arms stand on end. He almost missed the villain’s whispered reply.
           “About what happened with the skogsfru. About failing.”
The elf released Robbie’s hand and let his gaze drop to the floor.
           “I’m so sorry, Robbie. This is all my fault...if I had just thought to mention that the skogsfru hated humans—“
           “Then you wouldn’t have brought a filthy half breed like me along.”
Sportacus was taken aback by the loathing in Robbie’s voice.
           “What? That—that’s not what I meant!”
           “But it’s the truth!”
He whirled around, angry tears dripping from his eyes.
           “A full fae would have been able to beat her! Hell, she probably wouldn’t have even bothered to pick a fight if I weren’t part human!”
Sportacus took a step back from the seething villain.
           “Robbie, it isn’t as though you could change how you were born. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with being human!”
           “Don’t lie to me!”
The scent of cane sugar in the air suddenly became stronger.
           “You only found me interesting when you learned I could do magic! I was nothing to you before, but then you thought I was fae, and all of a sudden, it was ‘Your wings are beautiful, Robbie!’ and ‘I’ll protect you, Robbie!’”
With every angry word, the machines in the lair creaked and groaned. The sweet smell around him and the guilt inside was enough to make Sportacus feel sick. He tentatively took a step toward the villain.
           “That’s not true—“
           “But I’m just a half-breed! I have dirty human blood running through my veins! What do you think of me now, Sportacus?!”
           “I think you’re beautiful!”
Suddenly, the choking scent fled the air. Robbie froze in place, gaping at the elf. Sportacus himself was also shocked, but he pressed on.
           “I’ve always thought that. Robbie, I’ve been falling for you since the first time you ever danced with me.”
           “Y-you’re lying...”
The elf gently placed his clawed hand on Robbie’s arm.
           “That’s not true. Remember all the times I’ve tried to help you, all the times we’ve danced together? I care about you, Robbie. I always have.”
Robbie was blushing furiously. Sure, he had always felt warmth from the elf, but he had assumed it was his own feelings playing tricks on him. For Sportacus to return the feelings...wasn’t that wrong?
           “But I’m a villain—you’re the hero.”
Sportacus’s chest clenched. The terrified faces of the townsfolk, of the children, filled his vision.
           “I don’t think I’m a hero anymore.”
Robbie’s mouth dropped open. Sportacus, not a hero? Now that was wrong!
           “But your crystal went off for me! You’re still saving people!”
           “And I shouldn’t be! I terrified the whole town, and I almost bit Ziggy. What if I actually hurt someone—what if I hurt you?!”
The elf’s blue eyes teared up, and he wiped them roughly.
           “I’m turning my crystal over to the Íþróttaálfur Council. I’m leaving Lazytown tomorrow.”
With that, Sportacus got to his feet and started toward the hatch. The villain stared at his retreating back in horror.
           “You can’t just tell me you love me and leave town! Y-you can’t...please...”
           “I’m sorry, Robbie.”
He leapt out of the lair, closing the hatch behind him and leaving Robbie reeling in the darkness.
Sportacus was leaving. It was what he had always wanted, right?
Everything was upside down. So why not break the status quo a little further?
           “Tomorrow, for the first time, a Rotten scheme will be used to make Sportacus STAY in Lazytown!”

Chapter Text

Hanging on a platform from his airship, Sportacus looked out over Lazytown for the last time; ant-sized figures meandered to and fro, going about their everyday lives.
It was a world he didn’t belong in anymore.
Sportacus had figured it would be best to leave without talking to anyone, so his pleasant memories of the townsfolk wouldn’t be tainted by their fear of him.
           “I just wish I could have said goodbye to—“
A loud beep interrupted his musings. Sportacus looked down to see his crystal flashing wildly.
           “The kids! They’re in trouble!”
The elf went to leap into the town, but stopped himself at the last second. His instincts screamed at him for resisting.
           “I’m not a hero anymore, I shouldn’t...but what if they’re in real danger? What if the skogsfru is still alive—or if it’s something even worse?!”
He took a deep breath and jumped off the airship. The backpack he wore automatically converted into a glider, and within seconds Sportacus had landed in Lazytown. He dug his back claws into the ground and turned to face whatever was terrorizing his kids.
Robbie Rotten in a blatantly fake mustache stared back at him. The villain held the end of a rope, the rest of which was wrapped around the kids of Lazytown, dangling them in midair over a guppy in a fishbowl. Seeing the elf, Ziggy wriggled one of his hands out of the rope and waved excitedly.
Sportacus stared at the scene blankly.
           “Robbie...what is this?”
           “I couldn’t get piranhas at such short notice, this is the best I could do!”
A moment of silence passed. Then, the elf let out a small snort. Robbie and the kids watched as Sportacus’s amusement grew until he was laughing outright.
           “Robbie, I—pfft, I thought something terrible was happening! And it’s just THIS!”
He gestured broadly at the scene in front of him. The kids, seeing the funny side of the situation as well, started laughing too. Even Robbie cracked a smile, knocking his fake mustache to the ground.
           “Alright, it’s not my best scheme, but it worked!”
           “What were you trying to do?”
           “Keep you from leaving Lazytown.”
The laughter abruptly stopped. Sportacus cringed as he felt the eyes of the children shift to him. Stephanie slipped out of the ropes and ran over to the elf, tears running down her cheeks.
           “You...you were going to leave? Without even saying goodbye?”
           “Stephanie—“
           “Why?”
She tried to wrap her arms around the hero, but he stepped away.
           “I just can’t risk hurting any of you kids! I’ve already scared you all so much—“
           “No you haven’t!”
Stingy, Pixel, Trixie, and Ziggy dropped to the ground and ran to Sportacus’s side. Trixie poked him hard in the side.
           “None of us are afraid of you! Why would you even think that?”
           “But you should be! After what I did...”
           “Sportacus, all you did was lick Ziggy.”
Ziggy nodded vigorously.
           “Yeah! It was gross! Not scary though.”
Sportacus couldn’t help but give the boy a small smile. It faded quickly, however.
           “What about the mayor? I spoke to him, and he wasn’t sure if I should stay in Lazytown.”
Stephanie piped up next to him.
           “Uncle Milford always listens to you, Sportacus! If he thought you shouldn’t stay, it’s because of what you told him. Trust me, he would never want you to go otherwise!”
Robbie appeared at the elf’s other side and gently placed his hand on Sportacus’s shoulder.
           “Sportacus, the only person who’s scared of you is you.”
He stared at Robbie for a moment, looking lost. Suddenly, his eyes became misty, and his gaze fell to the ground.
           “When I lost control, I felt like I was a different person, not even close to human. Even now, I’m still not the same as I was before the skogsfru. How can I trust myself like this?”
           “Because even then, you were still a hero.”
Robbie trailed his arm down to clutch Sportacus’s hand as he continued.
           “You protected the town, you recognized the kids, and you saved my life. The one person you haven’t taken care of is yourself—maybe all you need is to take some time to recover.”
           “What if I never fully change back? Or if I fully lose myself again?”
Sportacus’s voice was soft and tentative.
           “Then I promise I’ll always be there to snap you out of it. You’ve always been around to save me, so I’ll be here to save you.”
Robbie used his free hand to stroke the elf’s warm cheek, and Sportacus met his eyes again.
           “Sportacus, let me be your hero.”
For a moment, no one spoke. Suddenly, with a sob, Sportacus rushed forward and planted his lips against Robbie’s. After getting over the shock, Robbie happily kissed back, and the children whooped and cheered. When they separated at last, Sportacus had tears running down his cheeks but was smiling widely.
No matter what the future held, Lazytown would always be his home.