Chapter Text

Chapter 1

Ben Solo, Duke of Ren, stood in silent shock as His Majesty’s words rattled through his brain.

For the good of the family line, I’m ordering you to marry.

“Come man,” said the King. “It’s not as if I’ve ordered you to your death.”

Haven’t you? Ben thought to himself. He felt his temper rising and fought to quash it. It would do no good to rail of his misfortune in His Majesty’s presence. He had been given an order and like it or not, he would have to either obey or face the consequences.

“My apologies, Your Majesty,” Ben said, fighting to keep the tremor out of his voice, “You simply took me by surprise.”

“If you would like some suggestions, I can have one of my advisors send over a list of eligible young ladies,” the King offered.

“That won’t be necessary,” Ben replied, withholding a shudder at the no doubt simpering ladies His Majesty would find suitable. The worst thing about his role as Duke was dealing with the constant assault of mothers thrusting their eligible daughters at him.

The king chuckled. “Very well. You are free to leave.”

Ben bowed and turned to leave.

“Remember, within the year.” The king’s voice rang out as Ben turned and nodded once more before walking quickly out of the palace.

By the time he arrived back to his home in London, Ben was positively livid. It was all he could do to make it through the door before his temper burst free and he threw the nearest vase at the wall.

Ordered to marry.

He knew that he was eventually expected to marry and bear an heir. It was the expectation of all men of consequence. But to have such a short timeline within which to comply was galling. Ben avoided the season and all it’s balls and simpering ladies whenever possible. He already knew that none of the eligible ladies were to his taste. He could not imagine marrying a single one.

He strode into his drawing room, pacing furiously as he pulled a hand through his hair.

A year, he thought bitterly. He pulled at his collar, suddenly feeling as if it were choking him.

“Edward!” he shouted, knowing his valet would be hovering nearby.

As expected, the man appeared after only a few moments.

“Yes, Your Grace?” He stood with his hands in front of him, unfazed by his employer’s outburst.

“Pack my things,” Ben said. “I’m returning to the countryside.”

If his valet was surprised, he hid it well, merely nodding. “At once, sir.” With a short bow, he turned and left Ben once more to himself.

At least in the countryside he’d have space to figure out how he was going to fulfill His Majesty’s command.

Several days after his arrival back to his countryside residence, Ben decided to ride into town. It was refreshing to breathe the country air, free of the stench of industry and press of people. He noticed many of the townsfolk whispering as he passed by and repressed the urge to scoff. No doubt his reemergence into the small town was giving the gossips plenty to discuss.

Ben usually did not look to his surroundings, but as his gaze swept around the small town square it caught on a young woman. Her companions, one of whom he recognized as a former servant at his estate, were whispering to her as she tried to look at him covertly.

She was obviously of a lower class, given her somewhat shabby dress, and yet Ben was surprised to find he could not take his eyes off her. Though her skin had more color than most women he knew, he enjoyed the healthy flush of her cheeks. As he passed by, he swallowed, his heart racing. He willed himself to look away, but could not. Her hair shone in the sun, like freshly oiled mahogany, and her green eyes reminded him of moss-covered trees. When his horse strode beyond the small group, and he would have had to crane his neck to keep staring, he finally dropped his gaze. As he continued on his way, he pondered how best to discover who she was and how he might meet her.

As the weeks passed, Ben made inquiries into who the newcomer might be. He discovered she was Rey Chapman, orphaned ward of a Mr. Unkar Plutt. He found himself riding more frequently through town, hoping to once again run across her, all to no avail. Making inquiries as to where Mr. Plutt and Miss Chapman were residing, he discovered that the house was along a riding path he occasionally frequented, and began riding nearly daily in the hopes of running into her.

One day, after several previously unsuccessful trips down the path, Ben finally happened across Miss Chapman. He saw her hair sparkling in the sunlight as she bowed her head. Slowing his horse, he watched her smiling down at her toes. When he got close enough, he could see that she was holding her hem up out of the water as she waded through. He swallowed thickly. He wished to strike up a conversation, but had always been terrible at social interactions. Unfortunately, as it often did when he was nervous, his mouth ran without first consulting his head.

“I should think you’re quite old to be playing in the water like a child.”

She whipped her head up, dropping her hem into the water in her surprise.

“Sir – My Lord – Duke,” she sputtered flushing. He found the added color charming. “You frightened me. I did not see you there.”

Ben schooled his expression into impassiveness as he responded, “Yes I think that is quite obvious. Unless of course you make a habit of impropriety when gentlemen are present.”

Miss Chapman frowned at the insult and Ben quickly realized this might not have been the best way to endear himself to the lady.

“And I wonder in return,” she said, “if you make it a habit to sneak upon unsuspecting ladies only to insult them for having a bit of fun within the privacy of their own home.”

“Ah, but you see,” Ben returned, amusement at her spunk causing his tongue to run further, “You are not in your own home are you? Instead you bare your legs in broad daylight where any unsuspecting gentleman might happen upon you. You are quite lucky it was myself who happened upon you and not a less savory man.”

Though Ben realized his words were only further angering the lady, he could not seem to stop himself from speaking.

 “Lucky?” she said, obviously insulted. “And why should I consider your invasion of my privacy lucky?”

Ben cocked his head as he considered her, his hands sweating nervously within his gloves. “Because, as previously stated, there may be others who would take advantage of your impropriety, whereas I have no desire to lower myself with a commoner such as yourself.” He did not need to see the look on her face to realize his mistake. His stomach dropped as he wished he could retract the insult. He in fact did not care that she was a commoner and cursed his nervous tongue for getting away from him, silently berating himself for being such a boorish man.

She scoffed. “Then it is lucky indeed, because I would never allow an arrogant man such as yourself anywhere near my person.”

Miss Chapman picked her now soaking hem back up, raising it up to her knees again as she wandered back to dry land. Ben eye’s widened and his hear rate picked up as he eyed the creamy skin of her calves. Willing himself to calm down, he watched the anger leech from her eyes, to be replaced by embarrassment as she dropped her hem.

Before she could speak again, a man yelled out the back door of her home.

“Girl! Where are you? I did not give you permission to go out of doors! Return at once or you’ll be spending this Sunday locked in your room!”

Ben saw Miss Chapman’s face grow redder before she turned and ran back into the house. His eyes narrowed as he saw a rather large man grab her by the arm before pulling her inside. The intensity of his sudden anger at the man, who must be Mr. Plutt, surprised him. He decided then to discover precisely what sort of situation Miss Rey Chapman was living in.

It had been three years since Ben had seen either of his parents. His relationship with them was troubled, at best, and he usually preferred to keep contact with them to a minimum. As such, Ben had not called on his mother since his return. His mother, however, had taken it upon herself to visit him and was currently sipping tea in a chair in his drawing room. She had arrived, citing a need to drop off his invitation to her and his father’s yearly ball, though they both knew this was a thinly veiled lie to conceal her need to see her son. Ben loved his mother, but he had not forgotten how she had sided with his uncle against him.

Under normal circumstances, Ben refused to attend his parents’ ball for many reasons, not the least of which was all the lower-class neighbors sending their daughters his way in the hopes one of them would catch his fancy. At the moment, however, there was one lovely creature he yearned to see, and this ball might be the perfect chance for him to do so.

“I assume you shan’t be attending the ball this year, as usual?” His mother asked, sipping her tea and grabbing a biscuit.

Ben stood at his window, his back to her, contemplating how best to gather the information he wanted without revealing too much to the mother who, when no other source of conversation could be had, often resorted to begging him to settle down.

“I assume you’ll still be inviting every family in the county?” he asked in response, staring out at his lawn. He refrained from fidgeting as he awaited her answer.

“I really wish you weren’t so superior about socializing with those beneath you,” his mother said, sighing. “Your own father isn’t among the peerage.” When he made no reply, she went on. “You used to adore him.”

Not wishing to have this discussion again, Ben turned the conversation back to the ball.

“I suppose you already have a list of eligible women for me to meet?” he asked.

When his mother did not respond he turned around, finding her regarding him with suspicion. “Is there anyone in particular you wish to be invited?” she asked, a shrewd look on her face.

He turned back around, feigning boredom. “I only wish to know if any new mother will be attempting to foist her decided unattractive daughter on me.”

He heard his mother taking a sip of her tea before she responded. “The only new members of our community are one Mr. Unkar Plutt and his ward Miss Rey Chapman. Have you had the fortune of meeting them yet?”

His mother’s voice was far too innocent for Ben’s liking. “I have not been properly introduced, no.” It was the truth, since they had not been formally introduced at either their first or second meeting.

“A pity then that you will not be attending the ball,” his mother said, “for I have made sure to send an invitation to Miss Chapman.”

Ben felt his spirits lift at that and quickly worked to school his face as he turned back around and walked over to sit opposite his mother. “A pity indeed,” he said, in his best attempt at sarcasm.

He saw his mother’s lips twitch upwards as she took another sip of her tea, though she made no further comment on Miss Chapman, for which Ben was grateful.

Chapter Text

Chapter 2

Ben’s inquiries into Miss Chapman were unsatisfying, at best. Though everyone knew she was the ward of Mr. Plutt, that she had been left in his care by her parents years ago, most people knew very little about her. She rarely left the house during the week, only leaving to attend church on Sundays. Ben knew it was not unusual for servants to have only Sundays off, but, as she was a ward and not a servant, the mystery of why she was kept so secluded bothered him greatly.

As the evening of his parents’ ball approached, Ben’s nerves intensified. He found this development extremely irritating, as it had been many years since he had been plagued with anxiety. Though he still did not enjoy socialization, once he had been named the Duke of Ren, his  self-confidence had emerged. To now find himself regressing at the mere thought of approaching Miss Chapman was indeed cause for concern, and he tried not to dwell on the reason behind his nerves.

If his valet, Edward, noticed his employer’s nerves, he did not show it. Helping Ben into his evening clothes, the valet eyed Ben, but made no comment.

During the carriage ride, Ben found himself fidgeting, a habit he had broken when he was a child. He scoffed at himself and forced his hands to stop fiddling with his cufflinks. As the carriage rolled up to the Skywalker estate, Ben began having second thoughts about attending. There were a great number of people in attendance and he loathed crowds. He wondered why he was bothering in the first place. Surely, he had built up Miss Chapman in his mind. He was probably simply desperate to be married on his own terms and was grasping at the first available girl he could mold. He already knew he could not marry the simpering ladies in the peerage. He would go mad if he had to deal with batting eyelashes and feigned weakness every day. Just the thought caused a shudder to run down his body.

The carriage came to a stop and the door opened. Ben steeled himself and then exited the carriage. Almost immediately he noticed a flurry of whispers as he neared the doorway. He resisted rolling his eyes as he walked towards his parents. Leia had a smile which seemed a bit too broad to be natural, and his father was openly scowling.

“Ben,” his mother said, her voice sounding tight, “I’m so happy you chose to attend.”

Ben nodded at his mother, his collar suddenly feeling tight and itchy. Han was eyeing him with suspicion.

Choosing to avoid the inevitable altercation, Ben simply nodded at them and walked into the house. The increase in chatter annoyed him. Country folk had nothing better to do than create gossip over the slightest disturbance in their mundane lives. Several of his parents more well-known acquaintances greeted him. He nodded to them, but did not stop.

Entering the ballroom, he scanned through the crowd, searching for Miss Chapman. Eventually he spotted her walking quickly towards the back of the room. He began making his way there, irritated at the quantity of people in attendance, pressing into every available space, making navigating difficult for him.

Realizing he had lost sight of her, Ben scanned the room again. Not for the first time, he was grateful for his unusual height. He was generally a head above the rest of the attendees, which made locating Miss Chapmen much easier. He found her once more, standing just behind some ladies who were apparently deep into their gossip.

He saw Miss Chapman duck her head and paused in his trajectory towards her. Perhaps his advances were unwanted. The thought gave him pause, causing a strange falling sensation in his stomach. Shaking off his nerves, he continued walking towards her.

As Ben neared the ladies Miss Chapman was hiding behind, he heard them shushing each other.

“Ladies,” he said, nodding at the pair of women. Miss Chapman started to slowly sink down the wall, and his discomfort increased. He wondered again why he felt so determined to meet her.

“I wonder,” he continued, attempting to keep the nerves out of his tone, “if I might speak with your companion behind you.”

Miss Chapman tensed, lifting her head to meet his eyes. The ladies in front of her were turned to her in surprise, as if they had not realized she was behind them.

Miss Chapman swallowed, curtsying clumsily to Ben. “Your Grace.”

A dropping sensation in his stomach, very different the previous, took Ben by surprise as she addressed him. She straightened up and squared her shoulders, holding her head high. Ben’s mouth twitched in faint amusement at the look of determination in her expression. He noted her somewhat shabby dress. It looked as if it had been sewn hastily or perhaps was an every day dress. Ben wondered how she would look in the expensive fabrics that a duchess would wear, and found his mouth suddenly dry.

Ben willed himself to speak, but much to his consternation found himself mute, unable to say a word. Instead he blinked rather stupidly at her, wondering at this curious effect she had on him. She was certainly quite pretty, but Ben had seen any number of attractive women in his time, none of which had rendered him speechless with nerves.

When it became clear he had no intention of speaking, Miss Chapman cleared her throat. “Is there something I might be able to assist you with?”

The corner of his mouth twitched again as he admired her spirit.

Mustering his courage and silently berating himself into speaking, he replied, “Yes, indeed there is.” He noted the way her body tensed when he spoke and felt his confidence begin to waver. “I wondered if you might do me the honor of being my partner for the next dance.”

Ben held his breath as he awaited her reply, his heart hammering in his chest.

Miss Chapman stared at him blinking for several moments.

After what felt like an age, she swallowed and nodded her head sharply. “Yes. That will be fine.”

Feeling relief rush through him at her acceptance, he nodded back to her. “The next dance then,” he said before turning around and walking away.

As he did so, Ben noted her friends walking quickly towards her, whispering as they glanced in his direction. He tried to stave off the sudden bout of insecurity by reminding himself that he was a duke while Miss Chapman was merely an orphan. With that thought, however, he felt the sharp sting of his conscience, reminding him of his own humble beginnings. That was the point of this ridiculous ball, after all.

The current dance ended, partners bowing to each other.

Ben swallowed his nerves and walked onto the dancefloor. Miss Chapman’s companion gave her a slight push towards the line. Walking with her head held high, Miss Chapman took her place across from him.

The music started and they stepped towards one another. Ben was grateful that he recalled the steps to this dance, his feet moving entirely by memory, as he focused on his strange reaction to Miss Chapman. As they circled around one another, he looked down at her. She frowned slightly but did not drop her gaze from his. Up close he could see that her eyes were a very delightful shade of green. They seemed entirely too large as she gazed up at him. When the next move had them standing side by side, her hand resting lightly on his arm, Ben felt dazed. Feeling numb with surprise, he could only dumbly stare down at her.

The dance parted them for a short time, during which time Ben attempted to calm his racing heart. He was so taken aback by his reaction to her resting her hand on his arm, that he nearly misstepped several times. As the dance drew them near again, he willed himself not to make a fool of himself.

Miss Chapman cleared her throat when they were again close.

“I would like to apologize, sir,” she said as they again circled one another. Ben did not reply, having no earthly idea what she would be apologizing for.

“I wish to apologize for my terrible behavior at our first meeting.”

Again he did not speak, and again they were separated by the dance steps. He suddenly felt foolish for not realizing the obvious. She had shown a great deal of impropriety at their last meeting. Perhaps that was what had drawn him to her. Perhaps he was simply addled over a pair of legs. He had had little occasion to see so much of a woman, after all. He scoffed silently at himself as they again circled around one another.

“I would like to apologize,” Miss Chapman said again, irritation coloring her voice, “for showing such infantile behavior in response to your sentiments at the creek outside my home.”

As she took his proffered arm once more, she glanced up at him, clearing waiting for him to respond.

“Have you no reply?”

Ben glanced towards her, considering his answer. “What reply do seek?” he finally asked.

Before she could respond, they were parted again. What a witless question, he thought to himself. Of course, she was expecting him to accept her apology.

“I should think it obvious,” Miss Chapman responded when once again they were near. “The proper response when one offers sincere apologies is to accept.”

“Were they?” he asked. His thoughts felt muddled by his boorish behavior. He had made one conversational misstep after another and his heart beat would not calm. As well, he was never more thankful for the custom of wearing gloves than he was now, when his hands were sweating so much he half expected the gloves to be damp to the touch.

Miss Chapman shook her head in confusion. “Were they what?”

As they were parted, Ben willed himself to calm.

“Were they sincere?” he asked as they circled around one another again.

Miss Chapman huffed out a breath in frustration.

Never has annoyance appeared so charming, Ben thought to himself.

“Of course, they were sincere,” she said. “I would not have offered them if they weren’t.”

Not for the first time, Ben wished he had his mother’s proclivity for speaking the right word at the right time. This conversation was not what Ben had had in mind when he asked Miss Chapman to dance, and now he feared he was coming off exceedingly boorish and uncouth. His manners were entirely lacking, and he could not seem to force himself to speak properly. It was extremely frustrating to find himself so nervous in a lady’s presence. As the dance continued, they both remained silent, Ben feeling grateful at the reprieve.

When the last notes of the dance were over, Ben bowed to her.

As he straightened, he said, “Very well, I accept your apology.”

Before Miss Chapman could respond, he turned on his heel and left, walking out one of the exits and calling for his carriage to be brought around, eager to return to the safety of his own home.

Ben spent the next week trying to get Miss Chapman out of his head. It was ridiculous to become so attached to the idea of marrying her after two quick encounters and one dance. Try as he might, however, he could not get the idea out of his head. He enjoyed her spirit, and if he was to be married anyway, why not a lady whom he could mold into the sort of wife he could enjoy.

He winced at the thought, hearing his mother chide him for such a ridiculous sentiment. However, he was to be married, regardless of his thoughts on the matter, and Miss Chapman certainly seemed to be the least repulsive candidate he had encountered.

What he was uncertain of was how she felt about her situation. He assumed he would be saving her from a life of drudgery, but perhaps she enjoyed her life with Mr. Plutt. Ben found it difficult to imagine anyone finding the company of the man pleasant, but one could never account for personal taste. If the rumors were to be believed, however, Miss Chapman’s parents had simply left her in the care of Mr. Plutt without so much as a goodbye. As well, those who had had the misfortune of doing business with Mr. Plutt found him to be an ill-tempered sort of man, so Ben could not imagine Miss Chapman enjoyed her life with him.

Having learned that Miss Chapman was often gone for the afternoon every Sunday, Ben determined to approach the man about her hand in marriage.

His carriage pulled up to the modest home, which appeared to be kept in reasonably good condition. Stepping out, he walked over to the door, rapping three times in quick succession. As he waited, Ben could hear muttering as the man approached the door.

The door was whipped open, and Ben found himself staring down at the scowling face of Mr. Plutt.

“What do you want?” Mr. Plutt growled. Clearly, he did not like to be disturbed.

Ben narrowed his eyes slightly. “I wish to speak to you about a rather urgent matter.”

When Mr. Plutt made no move to usher him inside, Ben said shortly, “If we could please go somewhere private.”

Mr. Plutt considered Ben, clearly noting the fine clothes he was wearing. A gleam entered the man’s eyes as he no doubt started planning how best to swindle Ben.

The man eventually pulled back his lips in what Ben supposed was meant to be a welcoming smile.

“Of course. Please do come in.”

Ben entered, noting the house seemed very dim, dull, and dreary. There were scant few windows to offer light and none of the sconces had been lit. Ben followed as the man huffed his way into his small drawing room. Once they were seated, Ben having refused the offer of tea, he got straight to the point.

“I wish to know what your relationship with Miss Chapman is.”

Mr. Plutt’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t see what business it is of yours who she is to me.”

Ben willed himself to remain calm. It would do no good to anger the man. “How did you know her parents?”

Mr. Plutt shoved an entire finger sandwich into his mouth, smacking loudly as he chewed. “We were good friends, her father and I.”

Ben raised his eyebrows. “Such good friends that they left their child in your care, never to return? I assume you hear from them then, asking after their daughter?”

Mr. Plutt narrowed his eyes, a shrewd look on his face. “Why are so curious about the girl?”

Ben considered the man for several moments. He could see the gleam in the man’s eyes and knew he had best tread carefully.

“I find myself in need of a wife,” he said carefully. “Your ward and I have met on several occasions and I think she would be a good fit.”

Mr. Plutt guffawed, spittle and bits of sandwich flying out of his mouth. Ben’s jaw ticked as he ground his teeth together.

“You, a duke, think some orphan would be a good fit as your wife?” Mr. Plutt pulled out a dingy handkerchief and wiped his face, still laughing.

“She would be untrained, and therefore can be molded into the sort of wife I desire,” Ben said, wincing once more at the sentiment, true though it was. “She has spirit and would likely respond well to a change in her circumstances.” Ben barely kept the sneer of his face as he added, “They would certainly be better than here.”

Mr. Plutt leaned forward, all mirth gone from his expression. “That girl is going nowhere.”

Ben reminded himself that an outburst of anger would accomplish nothing. His mother had tried over the years to teach him the finer points of manipulating people. Of course, she referred to it as reading people, but the concept was the same. Find a person’s weakness and use it to manipulate them into believing they’re getting the better end of the deal.

Taking a deep breath slowly through his nose, Ben spoke evenly. “I don’t see why you would be so eager to keep her. Yes, she takes care of your home, but surely the cost of feeding and clothing her all these years has taken a toll on your finances. If you agreed to provide your permission, then you would be free of the cost of her upkeep.”

The words felt sour coming out of his mouth. He detested talking about Miss Chapman as if he were haggling for a sow, but he noticed the effect immediately on Mr. Plutt, who was leaning back in his chair, considering.

“The girl is not leaving this house,” Mr. Plutt finally said.

Ben narrowed his eyes, his temper dangerously close to the surface. “If I might ask, why are you so opposed?”

Mr. Plutt shoved another finger sandwich in his mouth, talking as he chewed. “Because I own her.”

Ben took several measured breaths to avoid knocking the plate of sandwiches off the table. “What do you mean by that claim, sir?”

Mr. Plutt scoffed. “What I said. Her parents sold her to me as a child. They needed the money and I was not opposed to having free help around my home. I paid quite a price for her.” He looked shrewdly at Ben once more. “I would not consider her debt to me paid.”

Ben took several moments to breath before responding. What sort of parent would sell their own child? And to such a questionable man, no less. Ben had plenty of money. The estate came with plenty of monthly revenue, and he knew the look in Plutt’s eye. The man saw an opportunity to make money. The question was, how much would the man be willing to accept? Ben loathed the idea of haggling for the price of Miss Chapman. He knew it was not uncommon for marriages to be arranged based on how much money a woman’s dowry was, but this felt entirely different. Still, having spent time with Mr. Plutt, Ben was suddenly determined to free Miss Chapman from his clutches.

“Is Miss Chapman aware of her circumstances?” Ben asked, keeping his voice deceptively low.

Mr. Plutt shook his head, leaning back in his chair, watching Ben closely. “I never saw a reason to inform her. It’s easier to keep her in line if she thinks she’s a burden to me.”

Ben considered the man for several more moments.

“I see.”

The men eyed each other, Ben hoping to convey the level of loathing he felt for the man across from him.

“I think it best we keep it that way,” he finally said, breaking the tense silence.

Once more, he considered how much Mr. Plutt would require to part from Miss Chapman.

“I will give you five thousand pounds in exchange for her hand in marriage.”

Mr. Plutt laughed. “Fifteen and not a penny less.”

Ben stood, straightening his jacket. “Ten thousand, and I will let you inform her of the engagement.”

The gleam in the man’s eyes told Ben he had reached a number Mr. Plutt was happy with.

“Once the marriage has taken place, I shall have the money sent to you.”

Mr. Plutt narrowed his eyes. “And how can I be assured you won’t renege on your end of the bargain?”

Ben walked towards the door. “You don’t.”

Stopping at the doorway, Ben turned back, swallowing down his discomfort at having made such a reprehensible deal with the man. “See to it that Miss Chapman knows nothing of our arrangement. Nor the arrangement you made with her parents. If she finds out, or something else goes amiss, you will not get the money.”

Mr. Plutt looked unhappy, but nodded. Ben took that to mean the man understood and turned back, leaving the house quickly.

Chapter Text

Chapter 3

The following day Ben decided to pay a visit to Mr. Plutt’s house, to ensure the man had informed Miss Chapman of their engagement. He also wanted to ensure that Miss Chapman was no longer being mistreated by Mr. Plutt.

As he arrived at the home, Ben’s nerves again arrived. It was extraordinarily irritating that Miss Chapman had this effect on him.

Walking up to the door, Ben steeled himself, taking a deep breath and squaring his shoulder before raising his hand and rapping quickly on the door.

“Girl!”

Ben clenched his jaw at the manner in which Miss Chapman was called. Once more, he wondered at this affect that she had on him. She was well beneath his status, after all, and he hardly knew her.

Quite suddenly, the door was wrenched open and Ben found himself face to face with his betrothed.

“Hello-“ Her voice cut off as she blinked at him in surprise.

Recovering herself, she quickly curtsied. “Your Grace.” Shaking her head in confusion she asked, “What are you doing here?”

Ben regarded her a moment, swallowing down his nerves before replying.

“Might I come in?”

Miss Chapman quickly moved to the side, gesturing for him to enter. “Of course. I beg your pardon. I wasn’t expecting you.”

Her voice wavered as she spoke and Ben wondered at the change in her demeanor. He could only surmise that their impending nuptials that were to blame for the suddenly docile woman before him. He followed her inside as she gestured towards their small sitting room.

“Please, have a seat.”

Ben walked slowly past her, his eyes traveling down her form, lingering on her wringing hands. It would seem that he was not the only one plagued with nerves, information he found comforting. He turned away from her and walked over to one of the chairs. Miss Chapman sat opposite him, still wringing her hands.

They sat in silence as Ben studied her. Now that he had the chance to really look at her, he could not help but notice that Miss Chapman was very thin, her collarbones jutting out sharply, and her wrists appearing quite delicate. Ben felt the sharp burn of anger towards Mr. Plutt at his mistreatment of Miss Chapman. This would not do. Ben was shaken from his thoughts as Miss Chapman swallowed nervously and looked down.

After several more minutes of awkward silence Ben finally spoke. “I understand that Mr. Plutt has informed you of our…upcoming nuptials?”

Miss Chapman looked up, pressing her lips together and nodding. “Yes, sir.”

Ben cocked his head slightly at the unhappy look on her face. “And how do you feel about it?”

Miss Chapman swallowed. “You do me an honor, sir,” she said haltingly. “One I certainly never expected to receive from you.”

Ben narrowed his eyes slightly, the corner of his mouth twitching upward in amusement at her wry tone. “No. I’m certain you didn’t.”

Miss Chapman took a deep breath and he noted her hands balled in her lap.

“If I may ask, why have you done me the honor? I’m well below your station, I have no money, and no proper family to speak of. Surely this will only bring only scandal to you.”

Ben leaned back into his chair, steepling his fingers as he contemplated his answer. He could hardly admit that for some unfathomable reason, he was quite taken with her, despite all the reasons she had just mentioned.

“His majesty has informed me I’m to marry,” he said, deciding on partial truths. “I have no choice in the matter. I do not wish to saddle myself with any of the ridiculous women I have thus far encountered who are within my station. You, however, being of such low station, have no such airs. You are likely to be a woman that I can mold into someone worthy of my time.”

Miss Chapman frowned, eyes flashing as Ben realized his error. “I am not a ball of clay and if you are expecting me to be flattered by such a statement, then you are sorely mistaken, sir.”

Ben cocked his head again, affecting an air of arrogance to hide his mortification. “You said yourself that I was doing you a great honor.”

“I said only what was expected of me,” she replied, her tone sharp. “In truth I find the entire affair very alarming. You come to my home when I am not present and presume to plan my future without ever consulting me. Once the matter is decided you spend well over a week ignoring the fact that I am your betrothed. I have not seen you since the one dance we shared over a week ago, and have only, excepting today, had two encounters with you at all. Why on earth should I be excited by the prospect of becoming your wife when I hardly know what to make of you?”

Anger flashed through Ben at having his faults laid bare by Miss Chapman. She held her head high, and he wondered again if he was entertaining folly by betrothing himself to a woman who could hardly tolerate him.

“I see,” he replied quietly.

Mr. Plutt came running in. “I heard shouting.” He turned to the Duke. “Please tell me the insolence of my ward has not put you off the betrothal, Your Grace.” He turned towards Miss. “You had best learn to mind your tongue, girl.”

“I assure you,” Ben said, standing up and towering over the rotund Mr. Plutt in a sudden burst of anger, “I would not further disgrace myself with a cancelation of our nuptials.” 

Ben turned to Miss Chapman whose eyes still flashed with anger. “I have taken the liberty of arranging for a seamstress to come by.” He glanced down at Rey’s clothing, noting how ragged it was and barely resisting the urge to throttle Mr. Plutt. “I can’t have a bride wandering around the estate in shabby clothing.”

Ben knew it was a terrible thing to point out a flaw that was of Mr. Plutt’s own making, but his anger at the man preceded all niceties. Miss Chapman’s face bloomed red and she opened her mouth before Mr. Plutt widened his eyes in warning.

Ben turned back to Mr. Plutt, knowing full well the man would not choose to risk losing the fortune he stood to gain from the marriage by disagreeing with Ben’s demands. “As well, Miss Chapman is to no longer take part in the caring of this house. Her hands are a disaster. Anyone seeing them would think her a common servant.”

Ben winced internally at the barb as Miss Chapman inhaled slowly and placed her hands in the folds of her dress, but it was a necessary evil to prevent Mr. Plutt from continuing to take advantage of her prior to their marriage.

Mr. Plutt did not look happy, but replied, “Of course, sir.”

Ben turned towards Miss Chapman and bowed. “I will take my leave now. I bid you good day.”

Miss Chapman pressed her lips together and nodded back to him, anger still flashing behind her eyes.

His eyes flashing with warning, Ben nodded towards Mr. Plutt and then walked out the door.

The days leading up to the nuptials passed quickly. Ben had decided they would be married quickly both as a means of extracting Miss Chapman from Mr. Plutt’s grasp, and to avoid His Majesty finding out about the marriage prior to its occurrence and deciding to veto the idea. Ben knew eventually he would be forced to face the monarch, but preferred to do so after the marriage had already taken place.

Ben visited Miss Chapman a number of times before the wedding, using excuses such as the need to ensure that the seamstress provided clothing fit for a duchess to explain his frequent visits.

The day of the wedding dawned bright, Ben rising before the sun after a restless night’s sleep. Every time he considered that he would, after the events which would later transpire, be forever bound to Miss Chapman, he felt a spike in his nerves, which he supposed were nothing more than a common case of cold feet. However, underneath the nerves there lay a thrill of excitement. Though he knew very little about his bride, Ben could not deny that he was horribly infatuated with her. The thought that she would soon be his caused his heart to skip a beat, a romantic notion that he would have scoffed at not one month prior.

Ben heard a flurry of excitement outside his door and swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry at the realization that Miss Chapman was now in the home which would shortly become hers. He glanced at the door leading to her rooms, and briefly contemplated using it to spy upon his bride. A moment later he scoffed at himself. Walking over to the bell pull, he rang for Edward

While he waited, Ben walked over to his desk to retrieve the gift he had purchased for Miss Chapman. Opened the box, looking at the contents therein, teardrop pearl earrings and a pearl necklace. His mouth ran dry again as he wondered what Miss Chapman would say to such an expensive gift and whether she would think him ostentatious. Before he could second guess himself, he snapped the lid shut. At the knock on the door, he walked over and handed Edward the gift with instructions that he wished for Miss Chapman to wear them with her wedding gown.

After Edward left, Ben paced around his room. Time seemed to be standing still. Each time he looked at the clock it seemed the hands had hardly moved. When he could no longer stand to stay in his room, Ben strode out of his room and down the stairs, calling Mr. Mitaka to send for his carriage.

Once he arrived at the church, still incredibly early, Ben spent time pacing the length of the building. The church slowly filled, the entire town seeming to be in attendance, and Ben was forced to stop his pacing.

After what felt like an age, there was a flurry of whispers that the bride had arrived.

Ben struggled not to fidget as the door was opened. He felt as if all the air had been sucked from the room, his breath leaving him in a whoosh as Miss Chapman entered the church. Ben’s gaze swept down and back up Miss Chapman’s form. Though she was undeniably underweight, the gown made her look nearly ethereal. The gloves covered up the signs that she had been a servant and the pearl earrings and necklace made her look a vision. Seeing the woman before him, Ben felt his nerves dissipate, now sure in his decision to choose this lovely creature to be his bride.

He hardly heard the ceremony, so enraptured was he. When it came time for him to recite his vows, he spoke with a clear voice. His bride’s voice wavered as she spoke, much meeker than he had ever heard her. His gaze dropped to her throat, where her pulse fluttered rapidly and his gift lay against her skin.

Before Ben realized it, the ceremony had ended and he was now a married man. He took the hand of Miss Chapman, now to be called Rey, and set it in the crook of his arm, walking her down the aisle to their waiting carriage.

Once inside and on their way to the house, silence fell between them. Rey appeared dazed, her eyes unfocused as she stared out the window. Ben studied her, wondering if ever there had been a beauty such as she. Now that she was in fine clothes, with fine jewelry to match, one might never know of her low upbringing.

Wishing to say something to ease her mind, he turned towards her, speaking in a low voice.

 “I hope you approve of my gift.”

Rey blinked at him for several moments, seeming confused, before putting a hand up to her neck to touch the necklace and nodding once. “Yes. They’re very beautiful.”

“You wear them well,” he replied, his eyes shifting to the hand on her chest before returning to her eyes.

Before Rey responded, they pulled up to the manor and the door opened. A servant held his hand out to help her down.

The rest of the afternoon passed quickly, Ben’s nerves retuning as the day wore on. He found himself continually restraining himself from touching Rey, only placing her hand in his arm to escort her around to the various guests for a proper introduction. She never quite lost the glazed look in her eyes as she responded to questions with simple answers, her eyes frequently drifting around the room.

When the last of the guests had left, Ben escorted her back to her rooms. As they drew near to her door, Ben’s heart began to beat faster. He knew he was expected to bed her, had given the idea a great deal of thought, truth be told, but Ben could not help but notice that the closer they got to Rey’s bedroom, the more she seemed to curl into herself. He wondered if she even knew what a wedding night was supposed to entail.

Once they reached her room, Rey walked through the open door. Turning around, she looked vaguely surprised that he had not followed her.

Bowing, Ben said, “I hope you sleep well.”

As he turned around to leave, he heard Rey speak.

“But, I thought – “ She cut off abruptly as he stopped and turned around.

Ben watched her swallowed tensely, looking slowly first down and then up her person, noting the tension radiating off of her. No, he would not bed a woman as terrified as she clearly was.

He raised his eyes back to hers, which were wide with fear.

“I think not.”

Before he could change his mind, he turned once again and strode away to his own rooms, closing the door firmly behind him.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4

Ben leaned against the door, pulling a hand down his face before running it through his hair. Though he did not regret saving Rey from Mr. Plutt, he was beginning to wonder if he should have come up with a different means of saving her. Perhaps paying for her release and finding a nice placement for her in one of the grand houses.

One thing he knew for certain. He was now married to a woman who seemed entirely terrified of him, a thought which did not sit well with him. He replayed the days events, wondering at what point his young wife had found herself terrified of him. Perhaps it had been the looming possibility of having to consummate the marriage.

Ben pushed off from the doorway, pulling the bell pull to call for Edward. He began unbuttoning his coat, then his shirt, suddenly feeling stifled by the fabric. He paced as he waited for Edward, running his hands through his hair once more.

It did not take long for the knock on his door, and then Edward entered.

The man had a curious look on his face, but seemed to know his employer well enough not to ask why Ben was alone in his room. Ben stood in front of the mirror, removing the cufflinks from his sleeve. The valet helped Ben out of his wedding clothes without comment. Edward had learned early on that Ben was not a man given to idle discussions. As such, Edward rarely spoke unless Ben spoke first.

Once Ben was dressed in his nightclothes, Edward asked if there was anything more he required. Ben requested he send the lady’s maid to Rey’s room. Edward nodded and then left Ben to his thoughts.

Ben wandered over to the small bookcase in one corner. As he was fond of reading, he often kept his personal library - the books he had come by prior to becoming a duke - in his room. He knew sleep would be impossible, his mind racing as it was, and sat down, ready for a night of reading.

As he opened the book, Ben heard the sound of a lock turning, and glanced at the door which adjoined Rey’s room to his. His heart sank at the sound and he would have been lying had he claimed that the fact that his wife had felt the need to lock her door did not sting. Ben stared at the door for several minutes before shaking his head and returning to his book.

As usual, no matter when he fell asleep, Ben arose with the dawn. He had been an early riser since he was a child, a fact that had driven his nanny mad.

After dressing, Ben headed downstairs to the dining room. He glanced at the door next to his, briefly wondering if his new wife was a late sleeper, before heading down the hallway. Once he arrived at the dining room, he found the paper placed at his usual spot. After preparing his plate and tea, he headed there, opening the paper to scan the headlines.

He had already finished his breakfast and was sipping at his rapidly cooling tea when he heard voices outside. Shortly thereafter, Rey entered the room and stopped, surprise marking her features as a charming blush crept up her face.

Rey swallowed and curtsied. “Your Grace.”

Ben frowned, setting down his tea to regard her. “You don’t address me as Your Grace now,” he said, noting her visiting gown and wondering who she planned to visit at this hour.

Rey’s blush intensified. “And how am I to address you then?” she asked, a note of panic in her voice.

His frown intensified as he watched her, wondering if she was worried she would have to address him by his Christian name. Once more, he was taken aback by the sting in his heart at the thought.

“Call me Ren,” he said finally. Though he’d much rather Rey refer to him as Ben, it was not uncommon for wives to refer to their husband by his title.

Rey nodded, obvious relief in her expression. “Very well then.”

Ben watched silently as Rey walked over to the sideboard, picking up some toast and filling a cup with tea. He noticed her hands shaking and wondered if she was nervous as a habit, or if it was his presence which caused her distress.

As she approached the table, his attention caught once more on her dress. “Are you planning to go somewhere?”

Rey set her tea and toast down and sat, frowning in confusion. “I had not intended to.”

Ben cocked his head to the side. “Who dressed you?” he asked.

Rey stared a moment. “I dressed myself,” she replied.

“Where was your lady’s maid?” His frown intensified as dread filled his heart at the possibility that his wife had been the subject of ridicule by her maid.

“I – I don’t know,” she said, her knuckles whitening as she gripped her teacup.

Ben stood abruptly, walking over to a bell pull, and pulling it. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rey take a bite of her toast, a slight tremor in her hand.

“Am I dressed inappropriately?” She asked timidly, looking down at her dress. “I was unsure which one I was supposed to wear.”

Ben’s heart squeezed at her obvious embarrassment, but he didn’t answer her as a servant entered immediately afterward.

“Please send Her Grace’s lady’s maid in,” he said to the man.

Rey stood, horror written on her face. “Really, it’s not her fault. I didn’t know how to call her,” Rey said. “And it was so early I didn’t know if she was awake. If I’m dressed incorrectly, the fault is my own.”

Ben turned towards her. “Did she not show you the bell pull?”

Rey stared a moment, nonplussed, and then shook her head. “No.”

Ben nodded his head once, his suspicions confirmed. Beatrice walked in, curtseying to the both of them.

“Why were you not present this morning to attend to Mrs. Solo?” Ben asked, his words clipped as he fought to keep his temper in check.

Rey walked over to him. “Really, Ren, it is not her fault. I woke early and didn’t know to call her. Please don’t make a fuss.”

Ben ignored her in favor of staring at Beatrice, a look of dawning horror on her face, waiting for her answer.

“I beg your pardon, sir, ma’am. I-I was waiting for Mrs. Solo to ring me.” Ben ignored his shame at the obvious terror on the woman’s face. He was not ignorant of the rumors among servants of his temper, but currently he was exerting all his willpower to keep his temper in check.

“And did you inform her where the bell pull was when I sent you in last night?” Ben asked. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Rey’s obvious alarm at the situation.

Beatrice bowed her head. “No, sir, I did not think to.”

“Ren – “ Rey began, but was cut off when he continued to berate the maid.

“Did I not tell you of Mrs. Solo’s origins?” He asked. He had made sure the prepare the maid, had procured her after excellent references on her behavior, to prevent just such malicious behavior.

Rey whipped her head towards Ben in obviously surprise, as Beatrice swallowed. “Yes, sir.”

Ben’s next question came loudly as his temper threatened to boil over. “And did you not think she would have no idea how to summon a servant?”

“N-No, sir,” Beatrice replied, her head still bowed. “I-It slipped my mind.”

“I should have you dismissed for such a blatant lack of regard for your mistress,” Ben said, his voice continuing to rise.

“Ren!” Rey said sharply, surprising Ben. He turned towards her, frowning, willing his temper to cool as he spoke with her.

“You are making a ridiculous fuss over a simple mistake,” she said, her expression thunderous. She gestured toward Beatrice, who was in turn looking back at her in shock.

“You need not terrify her in such a manner,” she continued.

As she berated him, Ben’s anger drained out of him, surprisingly replaced by embarrassment. He felt his cheeks warm and wondered at the power this woman had over him.

Rey turned towards her maid.

“You will certainly not be let go for such a simple mistake. You’re free to go,” she said.

Beatrice looked immensely relieved though she looked to Ben, who gave her a terse nod, before leaving.

When the maid had left, Rey spun back towards him. “Why on earth would you make such a fuss?”

Ben cleared his throat, uncomfortable now that his anger at the situation was gone. “It is her duty to see that her mistress has all her needs met, and she clearly did not do that.”

Rey scoffed and walked back to her tea and toast, dropping angrily into her chair. Ben walked slowly back over to his own chair, wondering how to salvage the moment, picking up his tea and taking a sip.

“Do you make it a habit of dismissing your staff over such trivial mishaps?” Rey asked, frowning at him. “It’s a wonder you can get anyone to work for you.”

Ben frowned at her, bemused. “Am I to give congratulations to servants who don’t do their job properly?”

Rey sighed sharply. “Of course not, but neither should you threaten them with dismissal at every mistake.” She tossed her toast back onto her plate.

Ben stood up hastily as Rey stood suddenly. “I find I’ve lost my appetite,” she said. “If you’ll excuse me.”

Ben’s heart sank as he watched his wife hurry from the room. Losing interest in the paper, Ben strode from the room as well, noting Rey hurrying up the staircase, unaware of his presence, as he strode quickly to his office. Shutting the door, he walked over and poured himself a glass of brandy, tossing it back and refilling the glass. Not even twenty-four hours in and he was already failing as a husband.

Chapter Text

Chapter 5

“You called, Your Grace?”

The housekeeper, Mrs. Phasma, stood just inside the door of Ben’s office.

Ben sat in the chair behind his desk, holding his brandy in one hand. With the other, he gestured towards the chair in front of the desk.

“Please sit. I have some matters I wish to discuss.”

Mrs. Phasma closed the door and walked over to the chair, sitting ramrod straight at the edge of it.

“As you know,” Ben started, swirling the liquid in his glass, “Her Grace is new to the peerage.” He set the glass down and leaned forward, folding his hands on the desk in front of him. “I expect that you will see that the household staff gives her the respect she deserves, regardless of her lack of training at managing a household.”

If Mrs. Phasma had any opinion on the matter, she did not show it, merely nodding. “Of course, sir.”

“I will also leave it up to you to help her understand what her role in the household is.” Ben opened a drawer and took out a piece of paper, handing it over to the housekeeper. “I’ve written a list of reputable charities for Her Grace to consider supporting.”

Mrs. Phasma gave the piece of paper a cursory glance and then nodded at Ben.

“Should you feel I’ve missed one, please feel free to add it to the list.”

Mrs. Phasma tucked the paper into her pocket. “Of course, sir.”

“I think it would also be beneficial to have Her Grace’s time occupied with a project. Perhaps redecorating a room?”

Mrs. Phasma nodded. “The drawing room has not been updated in approximately twenty years.”

Ben nodded. “Yes. That will do.”

“Is there an amount you wish for her to stay under?”

Ben shook his head. “Whatever the cost it takes to keep her happy.”

Mrs. Phasma raised her eyebrows as she nodded. “Whatever you think is best, Your Grace.”

Ben sat back in his chair. “Unless you have any other ideas in mind, that will be all. You may go now to Her Grace. I believe she is in her room.”

Mrs. Phasma nodded, standing up and straightening her skirt. “Very well, Your Grace.”

Nodding at him, the housekeeper left, closing the door behind her.

Ben looked at the door without seeing it. He hoped that Rey would be happy with her new station.

Looking down at the ledgers in front of him, Ben sighed. He was in no state of mind to deal with books. Standing up, he decided to spend the morning in the library.

Ben was engrossed in his novel when a noise by the door caught his attention. Looking up he found Rey stopped with a look of wonder in her eyes. He watched her as she walked over to one side, hand dragging across the books as she gazed around the library. She tilted her head to read the titles, pulling out one and flipping through it. She seemed unaware of Ben’s presence, so he took the moment to watch her. She was always so guarded when he was around, it was equal parts refreshing and frustrating to see her so filled with wonder.

Turning around she gasped, clearly startled to find Ben watching her.

Putting a hand up to her heart, she said, “You startled me.”

Ben closed his book, a finger holding his place as he stood. “I apologize. That was not my intent.”

His heart sped up as he grasped for something to say. He looked at the book in her hand. “Are you a great reader then?”

Rey looked down at the book as well, seeming slightly flustered. “I’m not sure, to be honest. I did not have much time for leisurely reading when I was with Mr. Plutt.”

Ben narrowed his eyes at the reminder of Mr. Plutt. She cleared her throat, holding the book to her chest, both hands wrapped around it.

“I did not mean to disturb you,” she said when he made no move to speak.

He wondered just how negligent Mr. Plutt had been in Rey’s upbringing.

As she turned to go, Ben quickly called out to her, wishing to spend more time with her. “Wait.”

She turned to him in surprise as he swallowed and gestured towards the chair next to his. “I wonder if you might sit with me.”

Rey’s eyebrows rose at the invitation, but she nodded and walked over to sit. Placing the book in her lap, her hands clasped over it, Rey looked shyly at Ben. He swallowed, remembering their quarrel, not two hours past.

“I thought it might be best if we learned more about one another,” Ben said, his voice soft.

Rey frowned and Ben could only guess that she was thinking of their argument.

He decided it would be best if he broached the subject first. sitting ramrod straight in his chair and tilting his head towards her, he said, “I would like to apologize for my behavior this morning.”

He held his breath as Rey held his gaze, looking intently back at him.

Seeming to come to a decision, she asked, “Why did you make such a fuss?”

Ben looked away, swallowing down his nerves. “It is not unusual for unhappy servants to purposely sabotage the Lord or Lady they serve. I had told the maid of your…beginnings, and that she should forget such a significant detail seemed to be more than simple absentmindedness. I knew this was not her first posting as a lady’s maid, as I acquired her after her previous mistress passed away.” He looked at her again, silently pleading with her to understand.

“And is she unhappy here?” Rey asked quietly.

Ben frowned, bemused. “I’m afraid I don’t catch your meaning.”

“You said that unhappy servants sabotage their master or mistress. Has she had cause to be unhappy here?” Rey looked at him boldly, awaiting his answer.

Ben straightened, both understanding and indignation surfacing as he took her meaning. “I let my temper get away with me, to be sure, and for that I am sorry, but I do not regret the words I said. I needed to make absolutely sure that her blunder was not intentional.”

“And do you make it a habit to so easily dismiss a servant?” Rey asked, an unhappy expression on her face.

Ben regarded her a moment, frustration at the turn the conversation had taken rising. Rey straightened, a challenging look in her eyes.

“I do not tolerate insubordination or laziness in those within my employ,” he said, very poorly masking his irritation.

“Nor should you,” Rey said, “but it would not hurt to also show compassion for mistakes.”

“I will not pay for the livelihood of a person who shows little regard for those above him or her,” Ben said.

Rey swallowed, looking stung by his words. Ben winced internally at the callous words, cursing his mouth for running away with him once more.

“Do you regard those in your employ as less deserving of compassion than your peers?” Rey asked, her voice coming out hoarse.

Ben stared at her a moment, confused about how to salvage the conversation. Leaning back in his chair he regarded her, absently pulling at his lower lip as he thought. He noted Rey’s stare, the look of distress in her eyes as she watched him. No matter what he thought to say, he knew it would be the wrong thing.

“If you think less of a person because of their station in life, then I have to wonder again why you should have chosen me as a wife,” Rey said quietly, looking away from him. “I myself was lower than my current maid when you asked Mr. Plutt for my hand. If you feel superior to those outside of the peerage, then you have made a grave mistake in this marriage, for though my station has been greatly elevated, my opinion of those more fortunate has not.”

Ben frowned at her again. “I made my intentions perfectly clear the first time you questioned me on this matter.” Though the statement was almost entirely a falsehood, he could not find it within himself to bare his soul to a woman who so despised him.

Rey pressed her lips together. “Yes. You made it perfectly clear you wanted a wife you could mold.” She stood up, once again hugging the book to her chest. “You’ll excuse me. I find a headache forming and wish to read in the comforts of my room.”

Without looking back, Rey retreated from the room.

Ben sighed. Another conversation botched. It seemed that all of Ben’s attempts to speak with Rey ended with her finding yet another reason to dislike him, and he was unsure how he was meant to remedy the situation

Chapter Text

Chapter 6

Ben paced in front of Rey’s door, once more asking himself if escorting his wife to dinner was the wisest course of action. He had managed to insult his wife at every turn. Perhaps his presence now would only upset her.

The door opened before he could decide to leave and he inhaled sharply as he beheld the vision before him. Ben said nothing at first, all thoughts flying out of his head as he stared, his gaze traveling slowly down and then up Rey’s body. The royal blue gown fit her perfectly, the color making the freckles stand out on her face and her eyes appeared a deep shade of green. A blush creeped up her neck at his perusal and she shifted uncomfortably. He stopped short of looking her in the eyes, fearing the rush of desire he felt would be evident to her. Clearing his throat as he averted his gaze, Ben nodded at her and offered his arm.

“I thought I might escort you to dinner.”

Rey took a steadying breath and nodded, taking his proffered arm. He struggled not to flinch at the contact, so affected was he by her.

“I hope the pain in your head is no longer troubling you,” Ben said as they descended the steps, struggling for some piece of conversation.

“Oh,” Rey said. “Yes, I feel much better now.”

They walked the remainder of the way in silence, Ben all too conscious of the fact she had fabricated the headache as a means to escape him. As they entered the dining room, Ben showed her to her seat. As he took his own, Rey frowned at the place setting. He noticed her tensing the longer she looked. Clearly Plutt would not seen fit to train her in the proper table manners of the peerage.

Rey peered up at him through her eyelashes and cleared her throat. “I’m afraid I haven’t the slightest idea how to navigate the place setting before me.”

The corners of Ben’s mouth twitched upwards, equal parts amused at her charming admission and irritated to find his assumption had been correct. “I see it shall be up to me to teach you then.”

Rey cocked her head, a wrinkle forming between her brows as she considered him.

Pressing his mouth into a firm line, for she was clearly unhappy that he would be her teacher, Ben pointed to the spoon at the far end of the long line of spoons. Rey straightened and held her head high, affecting a dignified air as she dipped the spoon in the bowl and leaned forward slightly to take a sip.

“No.” Ben attempted to keep the amusement from his expression as Rey stopped, the spoon nearly at her mouth. She dropped her hand, looking him in askance.

“No?”

“Never draw yourself to the spoon,” he said. “Only ever draw the spoon to you.” He demonstrated for her, dipping the spoon into the soup bowl and bringing it to his mouth.

Rey’s brow furrowed. “If I attempt that I shall drip soup all over this lovely gown.” Ben resolutely kept his eyes on her face, despite the desire to lower them at the mention of her gown. She nodded towards him. “How do you keep it from dripping as you draw it to your mouth?”

He demonstrated again and Rey watched his every movement with narrowed eyes, as he dipped the spoon in, dragging it along the edge of the bowl to remove any broth which clung to the bottom before bringing the spoon again to his mouth and tipping the soup in.

As Ben returned the spoon to his soup bowl he nodded towards her in encouragement. Rey swallowed and her attempt to replicate his movements had Ben once more struggling not to laugh. He idly wondered how a woman so fiery could also be so absolutely charming.

As she sipped the soup from the spoon he stopped her again.

“No.”

Rey huffed in irritation, once again setting her spoon down. “Surely eating soup cannot be so complicated.”

The corners of Ben’s mouth twitched upwards again as he responded, “I’m afraid you’ll find a great many things about being a Duchess are complicated.” He nodded towards her. “Tip the soup into your mouth. Never slurp it.”

Rey breathed deeply, clearly irritated with the complex process that was eating soup properly. Dipping the spoon into the bowl, she again dragged it along the edge and up to her mouth, tipping it against her lips to pour the meager portion of soup in. When she looked back at Ben, he nodded at her.

“It’s a wonder the peerage aren’t all skin and bones,” Rey said, dipping her spoon again to her bowl.

Ben raised his eyebrows in askance.

“It has taken me nearly five minutes to eat my first spoonful of soup. At this rate I shall be sitting here finishing my dinner come morning.”

Ben pressed his lips together, struggling not to laugh. “Then I suggested you make haste at attempting your second.”

The corners of Rey’s mouth turned upwards and Ben could not keep the smile from his lips as she returned her attention to eating soup properly.

As the meal progressed, Ben found great amusement at the panic Rey poorly hid as each new course arrived at the table. Little did she know that most women took great care not to finish each course.

Much to his surprise, though there had been silence between the pair of them since the first course though, it hadn’t been uncomfortable.

“I hope your day passed well,” Rey said, breaking the silence as the meal progressed.

“It passed much as any other day, I suppose,” Ben responded, cutting a piece of meat and putting it in his mouth.

“How does a Duke generally fill his days?” Rey asked, putting her utensils down.

Ben also set down his silverware, taking his time chewing before answering her. This question felt like a double edged sword. Rey, thus far, had shown clear disdain for the privileges the peerage had.

“There are a great many things with which to fill my time,” he said carefully. “Aside from various and sundry leisure activities available to me in the countryside, I must also see that the lands under my name, and all who reside therein, are prosperous.”

Rey took a sip of her wine as she considered him. “And do you often fill your time with reading?”

Once more picking his utensils up for something to do with his hands, Ben returned to slicing his meat, keeping his eyes on the task. “I’m afraid I don’t. The library here at this countryside estate is much grander than the library at my residence in London. I had only just sat down to enjoy a rare moment of peace when you happened upon me.”

 “Do you prefer residing in London? I’ve been told you had been there three years at least before returning here.”

Ben shook his head, repressing a shudder at the thought. Though he had spent many years in London, it had not been by choice. “There are several matters of business that required more of my time be spent in London. It is only recently that I’ve been at my leisure to return to the estate.”

“Will we be staying at the estate long or shall we be returning to London?” Rey asked, her voice wavering.

Taking a drink of his wine, Ben watched her over the rim of the cup, her trepidation at the thought of leaving interesting. Setting the cup down, he responded, “I have no plans to return in the near future.”

Rey let out a breath in relief and nodded, leaning back in her chair.

“No.”

Rey looked over at Ben in confusion. He returned her stare, lips pressed together in an attempt not to laugh, her obvious lack of proper manners both oddly charming and amusing.

“Never lean back in your chair,” he said.

Rey closed her eyes and sighed before straightening again. “How does one ever remember the seemingly endless set of rules? We are merely having dinner and I’ve broken no less than three.”

“Usually one has a governess to teach them as they mature,” Ben said, narrowing his eyes in thought. Perhaps it would be best to have Rey trained properly. He would have to find someone discreet. It would not help Rey in making acquaintances if word got out that she was having lessons as though she were a child.

After a few minutes, Rey interrupted Ben’s musings. “Please tell me there are no more courses.”

Ben blinked rapidly, trying to shake himself out of his musings and having no idea why Rey should be so against more food. She certainly could use more nourishment. “Do you not enjoy the food?”

Rey shook her head. “The food is delicious, but I cannot eat another bite. I take back my earlier comment.”

Ben raised his eyebrows. “Oh?”

“It’s a wonder the peerage aren’t all obese with the amount of food served in a single meal.”

“You’ll find a great many of them are,” Ben returned, nodding his head towards one of the footman to remove their plates.

Getting up, Ben walked over and held out a hand to help Rey from her chair. He noted that the gesture caught her off guard, as she hesitated before accepting his hand and rising from her chair. Once again he tucked her hand in the crook of his arm as he walked them from the dining room.

As they ambled towards the drawing room, Rey frowned.

“I’m afraid I don’t know how a Duchess is supposed to spend her evenings,” she admitted as she sat in a chair by the fire, her hands in her lap.

Ben sat down opposite her, picking up a newspaper. Setting the paper in his lap, Ben pressed his lips together, once more reminded of Plutt and his mistreatment of Rey. Rey blinked at him, bemused.

Ben swallowed, attempting to keep his anger in check lest Rey believe he is angry with her. “There are a variety of activities you could indulge in. Many ladies enjoy needlework, drawing, painting, playing a musical instrument, or keeping up with their correspondence.”

Rey bit her lip, her cheeks reddening. “I’m afraid that, though they all sound like a delightful way to pass time, I am ill equipped to do any of those activities this evening, having never been taught how.”

Ben frowned at her. “Did Mr. Plutt never allow you the education of a lady? Though I know you were not of the peerage, it’s my understanding that most all ladies are taught needlework.”

Rey dropped her gaze, her reply spoken softly. “I spent my time with Mr. Plutt keeping his house in order. I was only allowed Sunday afternoons for my leisure and only after we came to this charming town. He did not deem it a worthy use of my time to learn those activities which young ladies are generally taught. He felt my time was better spent earning my keep under his roof.”

There was silence as Rey continued to stare at her hands, clearly ashamed to be so ill educated. Ben mulled over her words, anger brewing in his chest. Though if Plutt had neglected to Rey’s education, Ben wondered that she was as accomplished as she was.

“You can read.”

Rey glanced up, nonplussed. “Yes.”

“If Mr. Plutt disregarded your education, how were you able to learn to read?”

Rey swallowed, looking away.

“Did he teach you himself?”

She shook her head and though Ben could sense Rey’s embarrassment, he continued to press.

“Did he send you to school for a time?”

Rey closed her eyes and shook her head again.

“Based on what you’ve said thus far, I can hardly imagine he would have hired a tutor for you.” Ben spoke softly, anger lending a hard edge to his voice.

Rey shook her head again, opening her eyes and staring at the fire. The silence between them grew, expanding to fill the room as Ben’s impatience grew. He watched Rey closely, noting her obvious discomfort, the redness of her cheeks, and her unwillingness to answer his question.

“Rey,” he said softly, hoping a softer tone would help lower her guard.

Rey whipped her head towards him, eyes wide. Only then did Ben realize this was the first time he had spoken her given name aloud. His heart sped up at the strange intimacy of calling her by her Christian name.

“Why does it matter?” she asked, her voice wavering.

“Why are you so hesitant to answer a simple question?” he asked in return, not unkindly.

Sighing harshly, Rey looked back at the fire. “I found a primer in a puddle outside our small home. A child had likely dropped it on their way home. I used it to teach myself letters before bed each night and snuck books from Mr. Plutt’s library to practice with.”

Silence followed Rey’s admission as Ben’s heart broke for the little girl who snuck books in order to teach herself to read. He wondered what she would think of the fact that her parents had sold her to Plutt, if it would hurt her more to know that they had not merely abandoned her.  

After several minutes of silence, during which Ben tried to tamp down on the fury now flooding his mind over Rey’s mistreatment, he finally spoke. “I see.”

Rey glanced at him and blinked in surprise. He was regarding her through narrowed eyes, jaw clenched in anger.

She opened her mouth to speak, but he spoke first. He did not think he could keep his anger in check much longer and had no wish for Rey to see him lose control of himself.

“You look tired. Perhaps you should retire early.”

Rey stared, mouth agape, before she merely nodded and walked out of the room. Ben listened to the sound of her retreating footsteps, pacing in front of the fire, running his fingers through his hair as he turned Rey’s responses over in his mind. If it wouldn’t add further shame to Rey, Ben would out the man’s mistreatment of Rey so that everyone knew what a despicable man he was.

When he could no longer hear footsteps, Ben finally picked up a figurine from the fireplace hearth and threw it at the wall, releasing his anger as he did so. As usual, the rush of relief that followed the sound of breaking glass led to Ben picking up more glass items to throw.

When he had finally expended his anger enough to feel he could be in control once more, he walked calmly over to the bell pull, the sound of glass crunching under his feet as he did so. When Mr. Mitaka arrived, Ben calmly asked that he clean the mess and, grabbing his paper, retired to his own room.

Ben avoided Rey the next several days. Though he was not angry with her, he feared that his obvious anger as she spoke might have been taken as anger at her, and had no wish to force his company on her. It was better to let her get settled into her new life in peace.

In the meantime, Ben wrote several letters requesting names of reputable tutors and governesses, and held several meetings to determine which applicant would suit Rey’s needs best. A Mr. Nine Ee, who had an excellent set of references, struck Ben as a man who was not given to gossip and who seemed to have very little obvious opinion on the fact that his student would be the Duchess. After deciding on the man, Ben met with him once more to go over the rules he expected to be followed.

Finding a governess proved to be a much more difficult task. Though he did not specify who he was hiring a governess for, he found many of the women too eager to dig for information regarding their student and worried they would not be discrete. When Mr. Nine Ee suggested a Miss Paige Tico, Ben sent a request to meet with the woman. He was pleasantly surprised, finding the woman agreeable and not appearing eager, merely answering his questions in a polite tone. Only after he offered her the position did he inform her that her student would be the duchess. If Miss Tico was at all surprised or judgmental, she hid it well.

As the first day of Rey’s lessons arrived, Ben stared out of the window in his study, feeling happy about his plans to remedy his wife’s lack of education. He knew how vicious the peerage could be, and was pleased to do what he could to mitigate their opinions Rey’s low birth.

Chapter Text

Chapter 7

Ben straightened his cuffs as he walked out of his own room, into the hall, and over to Rey’s doorway to wait so he could escort her to the carriage for church. He could scarcely believe that he had already been married for a week, though alternatively it felt very much like more time had passed.

He paced in front of the doorway, feeling nervous. He was simply escorting her to church, so there was no cause to be nervous, but the last time he had seen his wife had been shortly before he set about destroying several glass items in the drawing room and he had no earthly idea what she thought of him after hearing the destruction as she left. 

The door opened abruptly and Ben found himself once more assaulted by the beauty of his wife. They stared at one another for a long moment, Ben struggling to keep his face blank while several emotions passed through Rey’s eyes. Ben stepped forward and offered his arm. Holding her head high, however, Rey pulled on her glove, ignoring Ben’s proffered arm and walking swiftly down the stairs. Ben trailed behind, wondering what had brought on her sudden frosty demeanor.

A footman helped Rey inside the carriage, Ben following shortly after, taking the seat opposite her. Rey seemed to be avoiding his glances, staring out the window without speaking.

After several long moments of silence, Ben could take it no longer. “Have I offended you?”

Rey considered him a moment, irritation plain on her face.

Turning back to the window she replied with a clipped, “No.”

There was another brief moment of silence as Ben studied her. Despite her answering in the negative, she was very obviously upset with him. Her entire body was tensed, her hands fisted rather than clasped in her lap, and her jaw moving as she ground her teeth together.

“Clearly you are upset,” Ben said. “Might I know, what is the cause of your ire?”

Keeping her face turned towards the window, Rey glanced back at Ben.

“How has your week been, sir?” she said. “Busy?”

Ben narrowed his eyes as he wondered why she was choosing to ignore his question. What game was she playing?  “No more so than usual.”

Rey returned her gaze out the window. “And do you usually seclude yourself in your study at all hours of the day and night?”

Ben stared. Was it possible she was upset by his absence? He quickly quashed the notion that she might have desired his company. Every time they spoke, including this one, they rapidly dissolved into quarreling, so surely his absence was not the cause of her irritation. After several long moments, Rey turned her head to look at him.

“Did you imagine I enjoy being left alone in a large house with nothing to do?” she asked.

Ben cocked his head. Curious indeed. Perhaps his initial assessment was correct. He found his heart leaping at the notion, and struggled to keep an indifferent expression on his face as he asked, “Is it my absence that has brought on this dour attitude?”

Rey huffed and turned her head back towards the window.

“Certainly not.”

“Then what, pray tell, is the matter?” Ben asked, irritation coloring his voice, despite his efforts to keep it neutral. Rey’s refusal to answer him outright was beginning to try his patience. He did not enjoy the mind games he found himself often subjected to by the women in the peerage. It was part of the reason he sought a woman such as Rey for a wife. Had he known that he would be subjected to the same games from Rey, he might have questioned his decision to marry her.

Rey closed her eyes, taking a steadying breath before turning back to face Ben.

 “It was not your absence, sir, but do you not imagine I would become lonely with nothing but reading to occupy my time?” Rey swallowed thickly. “I…I’m not used to having so much leisure time, and therefore have very little idea how to fill it.”

Ben’s severe expression relaxed as she explained herself. Though he had tried to be thorough in preparing Rey’s transition into the peerage, it appears he had not considered that she might need help with her leisure time as well.

“There are any number of activities to occupy your time and should you wish to learn them, you have but to ask. Would you prefer music? Painting? Perhaps horseback riding? Friends whom you could invite to dine with us?”

Rey reluctantly shook her head. “I had very little time to make friends. The only friends I had made in my months here with Mr. Plutt were the Smiths, who shall be coming over after the church service for a visit. They are both employed at your parents’ estate and have only Sunday afternoons free.”

Ben said nothing, digesting this information. Every mention of Plutt lowered Ben’s already low opinion of him. It was unsurprising, to be sure, that Plutt had not taken the time to teach her activities such as painting, but to keep her from having friends? Ben retracted his earlier thought, glad that he had removed her from such a terrible situation.

It was beginning to dawn on him just how much he had to offer Rey and the thought filled him with a curiously warm feeling. Before he could further ponder this thought, the carriage stopped. Ben shook himself out of his thoughts as he exited the carriage, preparing for church.

The following day, Ben spent a good deal of time in his study dealing with correspondence. Late in the afternoon, there was a knock on his door. Ben was surprised upon opening the door to see Rey’s maid Beatrice before him, looking apprehensive.

Swallowing, the maid curtsied.

“I beg your pardon, Your Grace, I hope I’m not disturbing you.”

Ben’s brows knit together in his confusion. Stepping back, he gestured for the maid to enter.

“Not at all.”

Ben walked over to his desk and sat down, gesturing for Beatrice to do the same.

The maid seemed nervous, fidgeting her hands, and Ben wondered if she was about to confess some wrong she had committed.

“How may I help you?”

Beatrice took a deep breath. “I don’t wish to betray the confidences of my mistress, but I felt it important that you know she arrived from the Skywalker estate very upset.”

Ben frowned. What on earth had his mother done?

“I see.” Ben paused before asking, “Did she confide the particulars of what happened?”

Beatrice shook her head. “No, sir, but she was distraught to the point of requesting she be dressed in her bedclothes. When I left her, she had taken to her bed.”

Ben leaned back in his chair, sighing as he digested this information. After a moment he nodded towards Beatrice.

“Thank you for informing me. You may leave.”

Beatrice nodded, exiting the study and leaving Ben to his thoughts.

He wanted desperately to go to Rey, to find out the cause of her distress, but would she welcome his presence or would he only cause her further distress?

He stood, pacing to pour himself a brandy before going to his window. He gazed out at the grounds, drinking the brandy and pondering what to do. The pull towards her room was very strong.

After several minutes of internal debate, Ben tossed back the last of his brandy and headed towards Rey’s room. He had to know what his mother had done and how he might fix it. Rey’s loneliness already weighed heavily upon him. It would not do to have her further distressed if there was a means of fixing the issue.

Once her door was in front of him, Ben paused. Should he knock first? What if she had fallen asleep? He did not wish to disturb her if she had. Taking a chance, Ben opened the door and took a few careful steps inside.

 “I’m quite fine, I assure you,” Rey said, her voice coming out hoarse with emotion.

She must assume it was her maid who had returned. Ben swallowed thickly.

“And I assure you, you do not sound fine.”

Rey sat up quickly, startled to find him there and then flushed. Ben wondered if his seeing her in her bedclothes was the cause.

“Sir, I…I was not expecting you,” she stammered, quickly getting off the bed, and attempting to smooth down her clothing and hair.

Ben regarded her a moment before stepping further into the room and closing the door.

“It was brought to my attention that you returned from my mother’s quite upset.”

Rey swallowed, becoming visibly upset at the mention of his mother.

“It was nothing,” she said quickly. “I made a fuss over nothing.”

Ben continued to walk slowly towards her as he narrowed his eyes. It tore at his heart to see her red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained face.

“No,” he said softly. “You’re still upset.”

Rey shook her head, but did not reply as Ben neared. He did not stop walking towards her until she backed away a step. For several moments they stared at one another, Rey’s breath hitching. Ben felt a riot of emotions flooding him at seeing her so distressed and longed to find a way to fix it.

“Was it my mother?” Ben asked. “Did she say something?”

Rey swallowed and shook her head. “Your mother was lovely.”

If not his mother, then who or what else would have caused her so much anguish?

“Who else was there?” he asked, his eyes roving her tear lined face.

Rey took a step back, shaking her head and wiping at her face. “It does not matter.”

His eyes snapped back to hers as anger at whoever caused her such pain welled up inside him. “It does matter. You are clearly upset. Who did this to you?” With each sentence Ben’s voice rose. Stopping and taking a breath to calm himself, Ben asked again, “Who else was there?”

Rey’s breath quickened and she began chewing on her bottom lip. Ben’s eyes were drawn to the movement, the thought of kissing her coming unbidden into his mind.

Releasing her lip, Rey replied softly, “A Lady Sindian and her two granddaughters.”

Ben’s eyes widened slightly at the name and then irritation arose once more. What had his mother been thinking?

“I see. I’m well acquainted with Lady Sindian’s manner.”

Rey’s brows knit together. “Yes, she mentioned you were acquainted.”

“What did she say that has you so upset?” Ben pressed.

Rey turned away and walked towards the chairs by the window, hugging herself as she stared out at the darkening sky.

He would certainly be dealing with both his mother and Lady Sindian, but first he needed to know what had been said. He had no doubt that the Lady had latched onto, or perhaps even started, rumors about their marriage. She had been ever resentful of Princess Leia’s status in life and that she had squandered it to marry a commoner. The fact that her son had done the same would not have increased Lady Sindian’s opinion of the family, especially as she had made it very plain that she wished him to marry one of her granddaughters.

 “My dear – “ Ben started to say, the endearment slipping out without him realizing it.

Rey laughed hollowly and turned around to answer his question.

“They questioned me as to how our courtship went, and how I had managed to catch you.” Rey laughed again humorlessly as Ben watched her. “When I let them know how few times we had met prior to our engagement they said…” She trailed off, a flush creeping back up her face. Clearing her throat and looking away from him, she continued. “That is, they insinuated that the only reason you proposed was because…because we…that I…” Rey sighed, keeping her eyes trained on the floor. “That we engaged in an improper relationship prior to your proposal.”

There were several moments of silence as Ben realized with horror what rumors were being spread about his marriage, that he had married Rey to save her honor.

“That’s absurd. Why would I marry a woman of low birth for that reason? Our country is littered with bastards from such relationships. There’s no need to marry a woman if that’s all you want.”

Ben immediately wished he could take back the words as Rey’s eyes snapped up, ire flashing within them. “Do you think so little of the feelings and reputations of women beneath your station, sir?”

Ben frowned. “No, I-“

Rey did not let him finish. “Do you feel you did me a service with this marriage, that I should be grateful?”

Ben opened his mouth, but Rey pressed on. “You have done me no service. Rather now people assume I’m a harlot. You have ruined my reputation and for what, sir? A life of supposed leisure in which I am set adrift with nothing to fill my time, no friends to speak of, and constant degradation by my supposed peers.” Turning back around and hugging herself again, Rey softly said, “Please leave me. I wish to be alone.”

Ben wanted to go to her, to wrap his arms around her and offer comfort, but instead he simply replied with a soft, “As you wish,” and walked out the door.

Chapter Text

Chapter 8

Ben paced in front of his fireplace late into the night. Anger at besmirching of Rey’s reputation burned heavy in his chest, leaving him with a restless energy. His own words played on a loop in his head and he silently cursed his awkward manner. It seemed that being in Rey’s presence brought out the worst of his awkwardness. He could hardly make it through a single conversation without insulting her.

Ben stopped, grabbing the mantel of the fireplace with one hand as he rubbed his temples with the other. There had to be a way to fix things between them. There had to be something he could do to ensure her happiness.

He straightened as he recalled Rey talking of her friend, Rose, one of his parents’ servants. Perhaps he could write his mother and request the transfer of the woman, to be hired as Rey’s companion.

Ben pushed off the mantel, grabbed a candle, and walked out the door. The house was dark and quiet, the hour long past when servants went to bed. He hurried down the stairs and to his study. After lighting several lamps, he took out a quill and ink and drafted the request. Once he was satisfied with its contents, he sealed it, leaving it on his desk to be sent over first thing in the morning.

Satisfied with the plan to rectify Rey’s loneliness, Ben finally went to his bed to try to get a few hours of rest before the morning.

Ben woke early the next morning, as he always did. Since he was a boy, he had been an early riser, and no matter when he went to bed, he woke the same time each morning.

Once dressed, he instructed Edward to find the letter on his desk and have it delivered, and then headed to the dining room.

He had only just settled down to his breakfast when Rey entered the room. He stared in shock, his heart starting to pound as he once more recalled her words from the previous day.

Swallowing, Rey walked over to him, stopping and clasping her hands in front of her.

As she cleared her throat, Ben remembered himself and stood quickly.

“I wish to apologize for my behavior this last evening,” Rey began.

Ben blinked rapidly. That was not what he had expected to hear.

“I was rather distraught to learn what the local ladies are thinking of me,” she continued, her stare dropping to Ben’s shoes, “and let my emotions overwhelm me. It is through no fault of your own that they are spreading malicious lies and it was wrong of me to speak so harshly to you. I hope you can forgive me for showing so little respect for your own feelings on the matter and pray that you shan’t hold my behavior against me in the future.”

When she finished, silence filled the room as Ben grappled with how to respond. Without thinking it through, he grabbed her hand. Rey looked up at him in shock, lips parted.

“I will not hold it against you if you will forgive me for my own bumbling words,” Ben said, dropping his eyes to their hands as he struggled to articulate his own shortcomings. “I have not been blessed with my mother’s ability with words. Rather I inherited my father’s proclivity for blundering speech.” He paused, gathered his courage, and looked back up at her. “I did not mean to insult you or those of your former station by insinuating that I found such behavior by those of my station praiseworthy. What I so ineloquently expressed was intended as shock that anyone would find such a rumor believable as it is not the usual way in which such situations are handled. Were that the case, then one would find a great many of the ladies in the peerage were of low birth.” Ben stopped, taking a deep breath, brushing his thumb back and forth on the top of Rey’s hand. “As it is, such rumors will be greatly diminished once enough time passes without a child being produced.” He gripped her hand tighter as anger at the injustice once more threatened to overwhelm him. “In the meantime, we shall both do what we can to dispel such slanderous gossip as we encounter it.”

Rey stared at him, eyes wide as Ben held his breath, waiting on tenterhooks for her response.

“I…thank you, sir.”

Ben abruptly became aware that he was holding her hand and dropped it immediately, stepping back and clearing his throat. “Yes, well…I had best finish my breakfast.”

Sitting down and keeping his eyes trained on his plate, he picked up his tea.

Adopting a formal tone to hide his insecurity he said, “You must surely be hungry yourself.”

Out of the corner of his eyes, he watched as Rey turned to walk to the sideboard before stopping halfway there. There was a beat of silence before she asked, “Does it bother you?”

When Ben looked up in confusion, Rey clarified.

“My…My former station. Does it bother you that I am not a high-born lady?”

Ben frowned, bemused by the question. “It bothers me that people will talk, but no. It does not bother me that you are not a high-born lady. If you’ll recall, I was not born into the peerage myself. As my father has no title I, myself, grew up without one.”

Rey nodded. “Yes, but you have always been assured a life of privilege, with a Princess for a mother.”

Ben regarded her a moment, a pang of loneliness shooting through him as he recalled his childhood. “That is true enough, I suppose, though my lack of title was fodder for teasing among my peers when we were children.”

“Did it bother you?” Rey asked, walking back towards the table.

Ben looked away, sipping his tea to buy himself time to think of a response.

“Indeed.” 

He did not wish to relive his shortcomings as a child, however. Instead, he returned his gaze to Rey and changed the subject.

Though he already knew the answer, he asked, “Were no attempts ever made to find your parents?”

Rey sighed and turned back towards the sideboard, grabbing a plate. “I can only assume Mr. Plutt took every measure to locate them, though he never confided in me.”

They both fell silent as Rey filled her plate and returned to the table. Ben sipped his tea, empty plate before him, pretending to read the day’s paper. After several minutes of silence, during which he once more played and replayed the words between them the previous evening, Ben suddenly set down his paper, opening and closing his mouth as he tried to find the right words to convey his regret at Rey’s unhappiness.

Rey cocked her head in confusion, toast halfway to her lips, as Ben took a deep breath.

“Are you really so unhappy here?” he asked.

Rey blinked at him in shock, color filling her cheeks.

“I…”

She was quiet for several long moments before setting her toast down, grabbing her napkin, and dabbing at her mouth.

When he could stand the silence no longer, he said, “If you are unhappy here, then please just say so. Do not fear for my feelings.”

Taking a deep breath, Rey replied, “I don’t know that unhappy is precisely the right word.” She looked around the room as she spoke. “I simply feel set adrift.”

Ben braced himself as her eyes returned to his.

“Though I cannot exactly claim I enjoyed my time with Mr. Plutt, I did have a purpose there. I knew what was expected of me and was busy from the time I awoke to the time I blew out my candle. I have no purpose here with which to fill my time. My – “ she stumbled over the words, flushing. “My lessons take up a portion of the day, it is true, but then I am left with nothing but reading to fill my time. I have no companion with which to pass the day, no hobbies, no skills to improve.”

Ben watched her, mulling over her answer. Before either of them could say more, a footman arrived with a letter. Rey returned to her breakfast as Ben opened the letter.

He scanned the card quickly, set it on the table, and looked back at Rey.

“It appears we have been invited to another ball.”

Rey’s eyebrows flew up as her eyes lit with joy and a smile bloomed. Just as quickly, however, the smile dropped.

“Will we be attending?” she asked.

Ben watched her carefully as several emotions warred within him. He generally hated balls. He had few companions there and usually found himself surrounded by simpering women, vying for his attention. Now, however, he would be attending with a wife. The thought brought him a fair amount of satisfaction. As well, it would appear Rey was taken with the idea. Perhaps this was a good opportunity to provide his wife with a modicum of happiness.

Carefully folding his previously discarded newspaper, Ben adopted air of nonchalance, “Yes, I think we will.”

Rey blinked, clearly surprised by his answer. “We will?”

Ben nodded. “Yes. The ball is at the home of a widow, a longtime friend of my mother’s, Lady Holdo. Though I have not seen her myself in many years, I have no doubt that she will show you the respect you were not shown by Lady Sindian.” Ben swallowed and then cleared his throat as another thought occurred to him. “As well, it would be a good chance to address rumors directly.”

Rey nodded and returned her gaze quickly to her breakfast. Ben’s mouth ticked up at the girlish smile on her face as she bit into her toast. He pressed his lips together as he realized just how much he enjoyed putting a smile on her face.

Chapter Text

Chapter 9

Ben sat at his desk, reading by the light of the candelabra as he waited for the arrival of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Though his mother had certainly seemed to take her time in replying, she had eventually agreed to let the Smiths come work in his home. They would be arriving at any moment and Ben had left orders that they be brought to him immediately. Normally he left such things to Mrs. Phasma, but he wanted to make perfectly clear what he expected from Mrs. Smith.

The was a sharp rap at the door.

“Come in.” Ben placed a bookmark in his novel and straightened, clasping his hands in front of him on the desk as Mrs. Phasma opened the door.

“Mr. and Mrs. Smith, sir, as requested.”

Ben nodded and Mrs. Phasma stepped aside to let the Smiths past before leaving, shutting the door behind her.

Ben assessed the couple, who had come to stand in front of his desk, bowing and curtsying respectively. He pressed his lips together at the trepidation clear in both their expressions. Ben gestured to the chairs in front of his desk.

“Please, have a seat.”

The couple shared a look as they took their seats in front of him.

“I trust my mother has informed you of the reasons why I requested you?”

Mr. Smith nodded. “Yes, Your Grace. She mentioned the lady of the home was in need of a companion.”

Ben stood, walking over to the decanter of brandy and pouring a small amount into a snifter.

“Mr. Smith, as we were not in strict need of another servant, I’ll leave your assignment to Mrs. Phasma.”

“Yes, sir.”

Ben walked back over to his desk, sipping his brandy.

“Mrs. Smith, I expect you to be present whenever Her Grace has need of you.”

“Of course, Your Grace.”

Ben sat in his desk chair as he continued speaking. “Rey has lessons in the mornings, which you have no need to attend, unless of course she requests your presence. While she is in those lessons, I expect you to help with the goings-on of the home. Report to Mrs. Phasma at the start of each day to receive your assignment.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Tomorrow I would like you to make your employment known to Rey once she has awoken.”

Ben waved a hand. “That will be all. It’s late and I’m sure you would like to get settled for the evening.”

The pair nodded and hastily exited.

Ben sipped at his brandy once more. He only wished that he could be present when Rey learned her friend had been hired as a companion.

In the days leading up to the ball at Lady Holdo’s estate, Ben made sure that Rey was fitted for a new gown. He informed the seamstress he wanted nothing but the finest materials used. With the rumors already swirling around their marriage, Ben did not want to take the chance that additional rumors start over a cheaply made dress.

The day of the ball Ben tried the entire day to get work done, but found his mind wandering, a sense of impending doom lingering in the back of his mind. He truly hated balls and hated talking with the simpering fools of the peerage even more. However, he was determined to properly introduce his wife to society. He’d be damned if he let Lady Sindian’s lies continue to spread unchecked.

Once the hour finally arrived, Ben left his room and walked to stand in front of Rey’s door, pulling on a pair of white gloves.

The door opened abruptly and Ben straightened, opening his mouth in greeting before exhaling sharply.

Rey was an absolute vision. Hardly realizing what he was doing, Ben took a deep breath, his lips parted as his eyes traveled slowly down, taking in the dress which highlighted Rey’s feminine features. The color, a light pink, complimented her skin tone exactly, leaving it looking less brown and more peach toned than he has ever seen it. His eyes slowly traveled back up, finally meeting hers as he grappled with the sudden desire to sweep his wife in his arms and kiss her. The last time he had seen Rey as lovely had been the day of their wedding. But unlike that day, he did not see fear in her eyes.

“Good evening, Ren,” she said quietly, looking both pleased and uncomfortable as he stared.

Ben blinked rapidly a moment, willing his brain to restart, before nodding towards her. “Good evening.” Holding out his arm to her, Rey placed her hand in the crook of his elbow. Ben swallowed thickly at the contact which, despite the fact that there were her gloves and his shirt and jacket between them, felt strangely intimate.

Shaking her head, Rey smiled shyly up at Ben. He looked down at her, at the way her curls framed her face, resisting the urge to tuck it behind her ear. The smile dropped from her mouth as Ben’s stare became prolonged, but he hardly noticed as he catalogued her pretty hazel eyes, the touch of color in her cheeks, how soft her skin looked, how alluring her lips.

“Shall we, then?” she asked.

Ben frowned, startled out of his reverie and realizing he had been staring at her. He nodded and they started down the hallway towards the stairs.

They remained silent the entirety of the walk to the carriage as Ben grappled with his sudden rush of emotions. Without thinking, he took the place of the footman in helping Rey up into the carriage. He climbed into the carriage after her. He knew, dimly, that his staring was likely to the point of making Rey uncomfortable, but he could not stop. He felt as though he had been struck by lightning. Every nerve buzzed with a strange mixture of anticipation and longing.  

Ben struggled for several minutes with a topic of conversation before settling on a compliment.

“That dress becomes you.”

His heart beat rapidly in his chest as Rey whipped her eyes to his. “I…thank you. The seamstress you hired is very good.”

Ben could not think of a response and they lapsed into silence once more, Rey chewing her lip as she looked out the window into the night. Ben spent the remainder of the carriage ride trying and failing not to stare at Rey’s mouth.

When the carriage came to a stop, Ben exited the carriage ahead of Rey and held out his hand, once again displacing the footman. Rey’s hand trembled slightly as Ben grasped it and her footing seemed unsteady as she descended the carriage and gazed around her.

As they walked towards the door Ben again placed Rey’s hand in the crook of his elbow, loath to let it go, placing his hand on top of hers. Ben noticed Rey swallowing nervously and wondered what was going through her mind. His heart dropped as he contemplated the very real possibility that she did not like being in such close contact with him.

As they neared the entrance, Lady Holdo’s noticed their approach, her smile grewing into a wide grin.

“Ben, my dear boy, it has been an age since I last saw you!” she exclaimed.

As Ben nodded, feeling slightly bothered by the Lady’s use of his Christian name after so many years without contact, Rey’s eyebrows went up. Turning to Rey, Lady Holdo smiled.

“And this must be the lovely Duchess of Ren.” Lady Holdo gave a quick curtsy, and Ben noted with no small amount of amusement the confused crinkle between Rey’s brow. “Aren’t you a vision, my dear. Thank you so much for attending.”

Rey smiled back, though Ben noticed her grasp on his arm tightened. “It is a pleasure. Thank you for the invitation.”

Not wishing to hold up the line, Ben walked them into the manor, following the trail of people into the ballroom. Rey smiled as she beheld the very full ballroom and Ben could not keep a small smile of his face at her obvious excitement, no matter his own feelings on the subject of balls. Ben guided Rey to one side of the room, in search of an empty spot along the wall. Finding one, they stopped and turned to watch the room. Out of the corner of his eye, Ben noted Rey glancing up at him. He had continued holding her hand in his elbow. He supposed he could drop it, but the longer she was pressed next to him, the more he was loath to put distance between them.

Rey watched the dancers in front of her and Ben watched Rey. When he saw distress cross her expression he glanced around, noting several sets of people whispering and glancing in their direction.

Frowning, Ben leaned his head towards Rey’s ear, startling her when he spoke softly, “As a duchess it will be up to you to introduce yourself to those here.”

Rey turned her head and Ben froze as he now found himself mere inches from her lips.

“I don’t know who any of these people are,” she said quietly, Ben forcing himself to draw back slightly, watching her closely. “How can I be expected to introduce myself to everyone present when it is I who am the stranger?”

Ben regarded her a moment before straightening. “Come.” It would be up to him to introduce his wife to the rest of the attendees. He could only imagine how daunting it would be for a woman of Rey’s upbringing to introduce herself to a group of self-important gossips.

Pulling her along with him, Ben walked around the edge of the room, introducing Rey to those present. He forced himself to adopt a gregarious manner, one he certainly didn’t feel, but which would help in ingratiating Rey to her peers.

After meeting at least half the attending, Ben excused them and walked back over to an open space along the wall.

“That was tedious,” he said under his breath, sighing loudly.

Rey pressed her lips together, the corners of her mouth upturned. “Indeed. That was rather a lot of people to converse with in a single night.”

Ben nodded, looking out at the crowd of dancers. The music was festive enough, but after exerting so much effort at being likeable, he was starting to form a headache, never mind that Rey’s tapping her toes meant he would have to suffer through a dance or two before the evening was ended.

Before he could ask, however, a man in a red captain’s suit walked up, smiling.

“Ben!” he exclaimed.

Ben inhaled deeply as he struggled to keep his annoyance in check.

“Captain Dameron,” he returned flatly.

Poe smiled broadly, clapping a hand on Ben’s shoulder.

“Come now, Benji, don’t be so aloof,” he said. “It has been years since last I saw you.”

Ben struggled against the flare of irritation at the childhood nickname he so hated.

“Benji?” Rey asked, surprised.

“Don’t call me that,” Ben all but snapped.

Poe turned to Rey, a smile on his face. “This must be the lovely Duchess of Ren. I have heard so much about you, Your Grace.” He bowed suddenly. “Captain Poe Dameron. A pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Looking up at her, he winked conspiratorially, a smirk on his face.

Ben stiffened at Poe’s too-familiar manner.

“A pleasure to meet you, Captain,” Rey said after a prolonged moment in which she glanced between Ben and Poe, as if trying to ascertain the relationship between them.

“And how do you know my husband?” she asked.

Poe smiled broadly. “We knew each other as lads.” The smile dimmed as he continued. “Princess Leia took it upon herself to see that I had the care of a mother after my own passed away as a boy.”

“Oh, I’m very sorry to hear that,” Rey said, “though it was good of her to see that you were cared for.”

 Ben attempted to keep himself from rolling his eyes. Poe had been known to use his tragic past to garner the sympathy of many a lady and it would seem that a young married woman was no exception. An emotion Ben had not felt in years roared through him at the thought of Poe commanding Rey’s attention.

Poe nodded. “Yes, it was very kind of her to do so.” Clearing his throat, he spoke again. “But let us not speak of such melancholy matters.” Turning to Ben, he said, “It was quite the happy surprise to hear that the notoriously surly Duke of Ren had entered into a nuptial state of bliss. You must regale me with the story of your whirlwind romance.”

“I-“ Rey started to speak before Ben interrupted her.

“Of what consequence is it to you?” he asked.

Rey frowned as Poe raised his eyebrows. “Can a friend not inquire about such happy tidings?”

Ben pressed his lips together, grinding his teeth together before he spoke. “Were we friends, then indeed you could, but as we are not, I do not see the point in regaling you with the tale.”

Poe shook his head, a rueful smile on his face. “Come now. We have known one another since childhood. Surely that is worth something.”

Ben bristled as he recognized Poe’s usual tactic of making him seem like the bad gentleman but did not respond, instead turning away to face forward. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Rey looking between them. Had he not been so irritated, he might have felt badly at having put her in such an awkward situation.

Poe looked at Ben with a small frown on his features before looking back at Rey and smiling.

“Perhaps the lady would allow me the pleasure of dancing?”

Before Rey could respond, Ben turned his head and gripped her hand tightly, a nearly blinding rage at the thought of Rey dancing with Poe making him forget all semblance of courtesy.

“No.”

Without waiting for Poe’s response, Ben walked briskly towards the newly formed line of dancers, nearly dragging Rey behind him in his haste to get away.

“That was rather rude,” Rey hissed at him as she saw several people looking towards them and whispering.

Ben did not respond as he walked over to join the line of men, unease and embarrassment beginning to wind their way through the haze of jealous rage.

Thankfully Ben knew the steps to this particular dance well, as he was otherwise too preoccupied with the scene he had just made to focus on the steps. Rey did not try to engage him when they were near, and for that he was grateful. He swallowed thickly as he suddenly realized the depth of his feelings for Rey. How was it possible that he had formed an attachment so quickly? And yet, the mere thought of any man other than himself even befriending her, let along someone such as Poe, made jealousy flood through him.  

When the dance ended, Ben gazed down at Rey, who seemed preoccupied with her own thoughts. The couples around them were dispersing to form a new line when she finally looked up at Ben. His heart stuttered as, swallowing, Rey turned suddenly and walked quickly to an open space along the wall. Ben, a pace behind, followed her to the wall, at a loss for how to salvage the evening. It would seem he had made a mess of things once more.

Though the room was filled with the sounds of merriment and conversation, the silence between them felt tangible, filling the space between and around them. Ben struggled for something to say to her, feeling all too aware of the people around them glancing frequently at them, likely waiting for their next piece of gossip.

Abruptly, Rey turned to Ren.

“I’m in need of refreshment.”

She turned quickly but before she could walk away Ben grabbed her hand, staying her. She turned back in surprise, looking from their joined hands up to his face.

“Allow me,” he said softly, guilt at having ruined her evening making him forget his anger.

Rey’s lips parted in surprise as Ben let go of her hand and walked towards the refreshments.

When he had filled two cups with punch, Ben turned to find Rey was not where he had left her. He scanned the room quickly, but did not see her amongst the crowd. Walking briskly, irritated with the people blocking his path, he headed for one of the doorways, hoping to find her outside on the veranda.

With relief, he saw her standing, facing towards the gardens, though she would not be able to make out much of them in the darkness.

 “There you are.”

Rey jumped, whirling around with her hand over her heart as he walked towards her.

“You startled me,” she gasped.

Ben handed her a cup, which she quickly took a large drink from.

“That was not my intent,” he replied by way of apology. “What are you doing out here?”

Rey turned back to the railing. “I was in need of some fresh air.”

Ben frowned, confused at her stiff manner before it dawned on him what must have happened. He stepped next to her on the railing, putting a hand on her shoulder. She turned towards him, and he felt irritation and a strange new protectiveness rising up at her downcast expression.

“What happened?” He kept his voice was soft, hoping she would be more willing to tell him what had occurred in his absence.

Rey took a deep breath, shaking her head. “Nothing I didn’t expect. I overheard some ladies telling tales about us.”

Ben stiffened and Rey put a hand on his arm, as if to restrain him. “Please do nothing. It will only provide further gossip.”

Ben did not move for several moments, his breath quickening as he struggled to keep his temper in check.

“Perhaps another dance?” she asked tentatively.

Ben swallowed, grinding his teeth together as he attempted to reign in his anger, before finally nodding stiffly.

Setting her cup on the railing, Rey placed her hand on Ben’s arm as he steered them back inside.

When they parted to go stand in their respective places in the line, Ben’s irritation resurged. Poe was standing directly at the end of the line, right next to Ben. In his placement, Poe would dance a set with Rey as they rotated partners.  Ben very nearly walked away, and would have had he not noticed several older ladies watching them and whispering behind their hands.

The dance started and when the steps brought her alongside Poe, Ben ground his teeth together as he watched Poe lean down to speak to Rey.

They were separated before Rey responded. When next she came alongside Ben, he hardly noticed, distracted with watching Poe.

“Do not give the gossips more fuel,” she hissed as they parted. Ben spent the remainder of the dance trying and failing to keep his mind on the steps and not on Poe smiling down at his wife.

When the dance finally finished, Rey looked over Ben’s shoulder and smiled. Ben glanced back and stiffened when he saw his parents.

Rey hurried over to them, Ben trailing behind her. His mother smiled broadly as his wife drew near. His father looked as he always did, as if he felt out of place, repeatedly tugging at the collar of his shirt.

“I’m so happy to see you here, dear,” Leia said, grabbing Rey’s hand and squeezing. Looking over Rey’s shoulder at Ben, she added, “And you have enticed my son to dance, no less. What an unexpected surprise.”

Rey turned to Ben, seeming startled that he was so close behind her. He rather wished they could just leave the ball. He had very little patience left in reserve for dealing with his parents.

“Mother,” he said, his words clipped. “Father.”

Han frowned at Ben’s less than cordial greeting as he nodded at him.

“It is good to see you both,” Rey said, smiling shyly.

Han turned towards her, his manner softening considerably as he nodded back at her.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Leia asked, still eying Ben. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes at his mother’s perusal.

Rey swallowed, her smile not reaching her eyes. “It’s nice to see a friendly face.”

“That bad, is it?” Han said wryly.

Rey laughed, sounding genuine as she responded. “It hasn’t been all bad.”

“Listen,” Han continued, raising his eyebrows. “Don’t let the stuffy people here make you feel like you don’t belong. I know how they can be, and it’s best to just ignore them.”

Rey pressed her lips together and nodded, her earlier distress completely dissipating at Han’s informal manner. Despite their differences, Ben was grateful to his father for putting Rey at ease.

After several moments, Ben realized he was staring. Frowning, he turned to his parents, nodding at them as he pulled Rey away, claiming they were in need of refreshments. He supposed it was rather selfish of him to take Rey away from the only people she was comfortable around, he had no desire either to leave her alone with them or spend time with them the rest of the evening.

Though the ball was still in full swing when they left, Ben had reached his limit with social interaction. Whatever guilt he had felt at forcing Rey to leave was assuaged by the fact that Rey seemed as eager to leave as he was.

Rey felt asleep quickly, her head leaning against the side of the carriage, her lips parted. Ben watched her, swallowing thickly as he let himself contemplate the evening. He had not quite recovered from the sudden realization of his strong feelings towards Rey. He struggled not to dwell on them, knowing full well that Rey did not share his feelings.

One thing he did know for certain, however, was he wanted to keep Rey well away from Poe Dameron. The man’s natural charisma left very few not enthralled by his presence and Ben did not want to even contemplate Poe taking away whatever meager feelings Rey did have for Ben.

When the carriage stopped, Ben hesitantly reached out a hand to shake Rey gently on the shoulder.

She awoke and looked around, blinking in confusion.

“We’ve arrived home,” Ben said, his hand remaining on her shoulder.

Rey stifled a yawn. “I’m afraid the events of the evening have tired me considerably more than I realized.”

Ben exited the carriage first and held out a hand to help her down. Without letting go of Rey’s hand, he walked into the house. As they climbed the stairs, Ben let go of her hand in favor of placing his on the small of her back.

Once reaching her door, Rey turned towards him, likely to thank him for escorting her.

Before she could voice her thanks, however, Ben spoke first.

“I don’t want you associating with Captain Dameron.”

Rey did not respond for several long moments, during which Ben struggled not to fidget. When she did respond, she frowned, both irritation and confusion in her eyes.

“Why ever not?” she asked. “He seems perfectly amiable and is familiar with the rest of your family. It makes sense that he would befriend me as well.”

“I forbid it,” Ben said, his voice sharp, despite his intent to remain calm.

Rey’s eyebrows flew upwards. “You forbid it?”

“Yes. Have no contact with the man.”

Rey shook her head, eyes flashing. “What has the captain done to you to deserve such censure?”

“It matters not,” Ben said, looking away and avoiding her question. “I don’t want you to befriend him. He is not fit company for you to keep.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” Rey said, her ire causing her face to flush prettily. “I saw nothing about the man to warrant your disdain. He addressed you as a longtime friend and brother. It seems as though you were raised together-“

Before he quite realized what he was doing, Ben abruptly grabbed either side of Rey’s face and pressed his lips to hers. She gasped at the contact, her entire body going rigid. His heart sank as he realized his advances were wholly unwanted.

Before she could do so herself, Ben ended the kiss, abruptly stepping back.

He was breathing rapidly as Rey watched him with wide eyes.

“I – “ He started to speak, wondering what on earth he could say to explain his behavior, and then stopped to swallow. “Forgive me, I should not have done that.”

Without waiting for her response, Ben quickly turned and walked away, leaving Rey staring after him.

Chapter Text

Chapter 10

Ben strode quickly down the hall, his heart hammering and his lips burning. He bypassed his bedroom in favor of heading towards his study. Once in the room, he immediately poured himself a brandy, tossing it back and refilling the tumbler.

Tapping a finger against the glass, he paced over to his desk, dropping unceremoniously into the chair, brandy sloshing onto his pants. Leaning back in the chair, he ran a hand through his hair, replaying the events of the evening, trying to figure out just when and why he had decided to ruin what little comradery he had managed to eke out between himself and Rey.

It all came down to Dameron. The man couldn’t be satisfied with stealing his parents’ affections, now he had set himself to stealing Rey’s? Had Dameron not spent his time flirting with Rey, perhaps Ben’s judgement would not have lapsed.

Ben exhaled sharply as he recalled the curiosity in Rey’s eyes at Dameron’s advances and her judgement of Ben’s less than cordial behavior. He could hardly have explained his reasonings for demanding she not contact the captain. He did not wish to discuss his childhood with her, did not wish to see the pitying look in his eyes.

How was he to face Rey come morning? She would no doubt have questions that he did not wish to answer. He felt his face heating at the mere thought of facing her pity and likely disgust in the wake of his kiss.

He started to take another drink from his brandy when an envelop caught his eye. He picked it up, but could not read what it said. The fireplace was nearly cold, the fire having been allowed to die with his absence that evening, and he had not lit a candle when he had entered. He thought about waiting until the morning but, as he was not likely to sleep anytime soon, he instead lit a candelabra, setting it on the corner of his desk.

Flipping over the envelop, Ben frowned when he noticed the royal seal. Opening the missive, he scanned the letter, his heart dropping as he realized he had been summoned by the king. Ben read the letter once more, trying to discern the cause for his summons, though he knew the most likely cause.

Given his uncle’s abdication, Ben was now close enough in the line of succession to need His Majesty’s acceptance of any potential wife. He had known going into his marriage that he risked angering the king, but at the time had not cared overly much of the consequences of marrying without first obtaining permission.

Now that the time had arrived, however, Ben was not feeling as sure of his decision to damn the consequences. It was within the king’s right to dissolve Ben’s marriage to Rey, leaving Rey with a sullied reputation. Ben swallowed thickly at the prospect.

Ben stood, swallowing back the remains of his brandy before walking over to the bell pull. He waited by the cold fireplace, hand on the mantle as his thoughts raced. He would have to answer the summons, that much was certain. Ben was reasonably certain he would be able to convince the king to allow the marriage to stand, though he was going to have to keep a much tighter reign on his emotions if he was going to be successful.

He briefly considered having Rey join him, but decided against it. She had only begun her lessons. It was too much to ask her to present herself to His Majesty when she scarcely knew the proper manner to eat soup.

The door to the study opened. Ben looked over to see Mr. Mitaka holding a candle, still in his bedclothes.

Without preamble Ben said, “I’ve been summoned by His Majesty. Please inform Edward at once. I should like to leave immediately.”

Mr. Mitaka nodded. “Of course, sir.” He passed a moment before adding, “Shall I wake Beatrice as well?”

Ben shook his head. “No. The duchess will not be accompanying me.”

Mr. Mitaka paused for a brief moment before nodding his head. “Very well, sir.”

After the butler left, Ben walked over to the window to wait for Edward, staring out the window without seeing.

He would likely be gone for several weeks. The travel to London was several days if one was traveling quickly. As well, he had several items of business he had been putting off and now that he was going to be in London, it would be just as well for him to take care of them. Then, of course, His Majesty would likely delay in seeing him, as was his way when he wanted to punish people.

The thought of being separated from Rey for so many weeks sent a pang through his heart. He did not even have a likeness of her painted yet to take with him. However, he would not have to face her immediately in the wake of their disastrous kiss, so perhaps the timing of the trip wasn’t all bad.

Ben sighed, glancing over at his desk. He could hardly leave without a note as to his whereabouts. Ben walked quickly to his desk.

As he was pulling out a sheet of paper, Edward walked in, fully dressed as if it wasn’t the middle of the night.

Ben glanced up from the blank sheet before him.

“I assume Mr. Mitaka informed you we will be leaving immediately for London?”

Edward nodded. “How shall I pack? Will we be there for long?”

Ben nodded. “Yes. Several weeks at least. Please pack an array of casual and formalwear.”

Edward nodded once more. “Of course, sir.”

Ben glanced down at the blank sheet before him, waving his hand. “You may go. We leave as soon as the packing is complete.”

The door closed as the valet left, though Ben hardly noticed, staring at the page before him once more. What could he say? Again, his heart squeezed at the thought of being so long without Rey.

He dipped his quill in ink and began writing.

My Dearest Rey,

Ben paused, looking down at the greeting. After several moments he scratched it out.

Rey,

Once more, Ben scratched it out, feeling it was too informal. After several more false starts, he finally settled on a greeting. The body of the letter he also scratched out several times, frustrated over how difficult it was to write a simple message to his wife.

After a much longer time than he had anticipated, Ben finally stared down at the note he had copied from the mess of scratched out sentences.

My Dear,

I have been summoned by His Majesty and must leave immediately.
I expect I shall be in London for several weeks.

Regards,
Ren

It was neither too formal nor too informal and provided the necessary information.

Ben glanced out the window, surprised to see the telltale signs of dawn approaching. Glancing once more at the note, Ben folded it, sealed it, and then turned it over to scrawl Rey’s name on it.

Ben stood, note in hand, contemplating how best to deliver the note. He supposed he could have Edward deliver it to Beatrice. He winced at the cowardice of the move.

He tapped the note on his hand for several long moments before making a snap decision.

He strode out the door and to the staircase, taking the steps two at a time. Once outside of Rey’s room, he paused. He hoped she would still be asleep, allowing him to sneak in and lay the letter on her vanity. However, there was the possibility that she was awake, no matter the early hour, or that she was a light sleeper and entering her room would rouse her.

Ben placed a hand on the knob of her door, his heart racing, before he forced himself to ignore the trepidation and turn the knob. Once the door was open, Ben carefully stepped inside, silently closing the door behind himself.

He was grateful that the room had such plush carpeting as he padded across the room silently, laying the note down next to her hairbrush. When he turned, his eyes immediately went to his wife’s sleeping form. He frowned when he noticed the crease between her brow as she slept.

Before he could think better of it, Ben walked silently over to the bed. Rey’s hair was spread prettily across her pillows, her hands hugged to her chest as she lay on her side. Ben resisted the strong urge to reach out and smooth her brow, instead simply allowing himself to stare down at her. Despite her marred expression, she looked so very young in her sleep, though he supposed she was. She was nearly ten years his junior and was not yet twenty.

Ben hated to think that he had caused the wrinkle in her brow. As he stared down at her, knowing he needed to leave or risk her waking, he wished he could change things between them. He swallowed thickly as the loneliness he had been ignoring for the better part of his adult life threatened to overwhelm him.

Closing his eyes, he tamped down the feeling, his hands curling into fists at his sides. Taking a deep breath, Ben forced himself to walk away from his wife. As he quietly closed the door behind him, Ben took a moment to compose himself before walking down the stairs and into the carriage waiting outside.

Chapter Text

Chapter 11

Ben scrawled a number in his ledger, scoffing when he double checked the number and found it was incorrect. Scratching it out, he quickly wrote the correct number before setting his quill aside. At this rate, his ledgers would be such a mess of scratched out numbers that no one would be able to make sense of it.

He leaned back in his chair, exhaling sharply. He had been in London for over a week and had still not been called to His Majesty. He had known the King would make him wait, but a week without Rey was much lonelier than he had anticipated. As well, the anticipation as to whether he could successfully convince the monarch to let his marriage continue was slowly eating away at him. He had been reasonably certain going into the marriage that he would have little difficulty convincing the king when the time came, but now that it was upon him, now that the thought of having his marriage dissolved left him with lead in his stomach, he was feeling much less certain.

He was startled out of his musings by a knock on the door.

“Come in.”

His butler entered. “A Mr. Hux is here. He is waiting in the drawing room.”

Ben sighed as he stood, buttoning his coat and nodding. “Very well, thank you.”

The butler bowed and left, leaving the door open.

As he walked towards the drawing room, Ben steeled himself to speak with the man. No doubt Hux knew of Ben’s predicament and had come to gloat and needle him. The pair had never gotten along and Ben being on the receiving end of the former Duke of Ren’s inheritance had left Hux nearly apoplectic with rage.

Upon entering the modest room, he found the man in question helping himself to a generous serving of brandy.

“Hux.”

Hux turned, waving a hand as he took a long sip of his drink, walking over to sit in a wingback chair by the fire. Ben exhaled through his nose, his jaw clenching at the familiarity the man displayed. Walking over, he sat in the chair opposite him.

Ben leaned back, crossing his leg and folding his hands on top of his knee. Hux took another long drag from his glass.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“This is a terrible vintage,” Hux said, sneering down at the glass.

Ben barely controlled his urge to roll his eyes.

“And yet you continue to drink as if it were water.”

“One would think the illustrious Duke of Ren,” Hux’s lip curled, “could afford the best brandy money can buy.”

“It would hardly be sensible to spend all of my money on brandy.”

Hux scoffed. “A drop in the bucket, I’m sure.”

“Yes well, seeing as it’s my bucket, I think I know how many drops I have.”

Ben smiled coldly as Hux narrowed his eyes at the reminder of who Snoke had chosen as his inheritor.

“Why are you here?” Ben had no patience for Hux’s provocations.

The corner of Hux’s mouth turned up, baring his teeth in what looked more like a sneer than a smile.

“Can’t a fellow call on an old friend?”

Ben scoffed. “We’re not friends.”

“Oh, but we used to spend so much time together. Surely that counts for something. Dear departed Snoke would hate to see his two dearest friends quarreling.”

“I’m on no mood to play word games with you, Hux. If you’re calling on me in order to once more lament that Snoke preferred my company to yours,” Ben smiled as Hux narrowed his eyes, “then I’ll kindly ask you to leave.”

Ben frowned when Hux looked away, taking another long drink of brandy. It wasn’t like the man to back down so easily.

Hux cleared his throat before looking back at Ben. “I wanted…That is, I wondered how Mrs. Phasma is getting along.”

Ben’s eyebrows rose in his surprise. That certainly was not what he had expected the man to say.

“You called to ask me about my housekeeper?”

Hux sat up, raising his chin. “Yes.”

Ben stared as he tried to figure out what game Hux was playing. It was certainly a new one.

“She is doing well, I suppose.”

Hux narrowed his eyes once more. “You suppose? I hope you’re not overworking the woman.”

“Why do you –“ Ben cut off as it dawned on him why Hux was so interested in the Amazonian woman. “Do you fancy her?”

His voice held several notes of incredulity. Ben wondered how long this had been going on.

Hux sneered at him. “And what of it?”

Ben laughed. “And does the formidable Mrs. Phasma return the sentiment?”

Hux exhaled sharply and sat back. “Not that I’m aware of.”

The man looked so forlorn, Ben could hardly believe his eyes. It was completely unlike Hux to show anything but contempt in Ben’s presence.

He considered continuing to needle the man. After all, Hux took every opportunity to show his contempt for Ben. However, he thought of Rey and how awful it is not to have his affections returned and decided to take pity on the ginger.

“How long have you harbored these feelings?”

Hux went to take another drink of his brandy and then stared at his glass, obviously surprised to find it empty. Sighing, he set it down.

“Since well before Snoke passed.”

Ben’s mouth nearly fell open in shock. “So long?”

Hux nodded sharply.

“And have you ever expressed your sentiments to the lady in question?”

Hux’s head snapped up. “Are you mad? Of course I haven’t.”

Ben raised his eyebrows. “Why ever not?”

“She’s a servant, Ren. She would hardly be fitting as a wife.” He looked away. “Besides, my father would never approve.”

Ben snorted. “How very snobbish of you, Hux.”

“Well, you’re hardly one to talk,” Hux said, sneering at him once more. “Just look where marrying outside your station got you. You’ll be lucky if you’re not stripped of your titles and your marriage dissolved.”

A tendril of fear unfurled in Ben’s stomach. “I hardly think His Majesty will go to such extreme measures.”

Hux smiled. “I wouldn’t be so sure. From all accounts I’ve heard, he is quite put out over the situation.”

Ben heart took off. “Yes, well, I’m sure time will lessen his anger. I have every confidence that I’ll be able to smooth things over with him.” Standing and buttoning his coat, he nodded to the man. “I hate to cut our little reunion short, but I’m afraid I have a pressing appointment. You’ll see yourself out?”

Without waiting for a reply, Ben strode out of the room. It wouldn’t do to show the man just how panicked his words made him.

Ben’s heart raced as he walked towards the guarded doors. It had been several weeks since Hux had stopped by before Ben was finally summoned to the King. In the interim he had tried to convince the man to rethink his stance on pursuing Mrs. Phasma, if for no other reason than his own amusement at watching the man attempt to court one of the most unflappable women he had ever met.

As he neared the doors, he reminded himself to keep his temper in check, no matter what the king said. It would only harm him to show anger at his inevitable tongue lashing. He wanted to give the monarch no reason to decide to dissolve his marriage. Regardless of his own feelings, he could not fathom Rey’s reputation being so tarnished if their marriage was annulled.

The guards pulled the doors open and Ben strode inside, stopping several steps inside the door to bow.

The king sat on a settee, sipping tea and eating a small cake.

Once the monarch nodded at him, Ben rose and walked over to stand before him.

The king eyed him as he chewed his cake and Ben resisted the urge to fidget, instead standing tall and forcing himself to exude a confidence he definitely didn’t feel.

“I wonder,” the king said after several long moments of silence, “if idiocy is a trait passed solely from your mother, or if your father also has it.”

Ben didn’t answer, the king’s insult to his parents already causing him to go on the defensive. His chest expanded as he inhaled deeply through his nose, not responding.

The king raised his eyebrows. “Well? Answer me.”

Ben swallowed, wondering how best to answer without insulting the king in return. “Your Majesty can hardly blame those that are blinded by sentiment.”

The king sat back. “Is that what drove you to disobey my orders? Sentiment?”

Ben took another calming breath. “I did not disobey. You ordered me to marry and so I did.”

The king’s eyes narrowed and his voice sharpened. “I ordered you to marry in order to secure our lineage. Do you think further diluting your blood by marrying an orphaned servant is doing what I ordered?”

Ben opened his mouth to reply, but the king continued on.

“It’s bad enough your mother showed so little restraint in marrying a commoner, a man with no title and very little means. What my grandfather was thinking in approving the marriage, I’ll never know. But now, when our line is at stake, you marry someone worse than your father.”

Ben struggled not to let his anger show at the slight against Rey.

“I beg Your Majesty’s forgiveness –“

The king scoffed. “Spare me. You knew damned well what you were doing. Don’t think I haven’t heard tales of your temper. You married her just to spite me.”

“I can assure you –“

The king’s face began to redden. “Don’t claim you were unaware of what I was asking or that you didn’t know you needed my permission because I know you did. You were reckless and spiteful. Admit it.”

“I was not.” Ben snapped his mouth shut at the open rebellion of that statement. Damn.

The king laughed, though there was no mirth in it. “Are you going to tell me that a scant month after I ordered you to marry, when you had previously scorned all the women in London, that you married a nobody servant out of love?”

Ben pressed his lips together and looked away. The king scoffed.

“You’re even more stupid than your mother.”

Ben grit his teeth together. “I’ll ask Your Majesty not to continue insulting my mother.”

The king waved a hand. “What of it? Everyone knows of the fraught relationship between yourself and your parents. By all accounts, you’re completely estranged from them. Frankly I’m surprised you’re not agreeing with me.”

Ben inhaled slowly to buy himself time to calm.

The king sipped at his tea, his calm manners belying the anger in his eyes. “I should just dissolve the whole thing right now.”

Ben’s stomach dropped at the king’s words.

Swallowing, he took a step forward. “I beg Your Majesty not to do something which would only harm the lady in question. If the marriage is dissolved, she will be ruined.”

The king leaned forward to grab a finger sandwich. “Yes, well, perhaps you should have thought about that before acting so rashly. If her reputation is ruined, you would have only yourself to blame.”

Ben’s tongue felt like sandpaper in his mouth, his heart beating erratically. “I accept full responsibility for my actions. She was forced to marry me by her guardian. It was not her desire to do so. Please do not punish her for my mistakes.”

The king bit into his sandwich, eyeing Ben, a shrewd look on his face. “What would you have me do, then? It is no secret that many young ladies and their mothers are quite put out at the slight against them.”

Ben tried swallowing, but his mouth was so dry his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth.

“I did not marry a commoner to slight the ladies of the peerage.”

“Then why did you marry her?” The king asked, shoving the last bit of sandwich into his mouth.

“I…” Ben searched for a way to explain himself. “I wished to save her.”

The king’s eyebrows rose. “Save her? From what? Poverty?”

Ben shook his head. “She was not a servant, Your Majesty. She was a slave.”

The king straightened. “I beg your pardon?”

Ben nodded. “Her parents sold her, unbeknownst to her, to Mr. Plutt. He was working her day and night, without allowing her a proper education and no time to make acquaintances. I took pity on her and wished to free her.”

“So now you’re telling me that you didn’t marry a servant, but a slave?”

Ben’s heartrate increased at the implication of the king’s words. Somehow, he had just made things worse.

“I merely wanted to save her from such a life. She had no idea she was a slave and would never have had the chance to free herself had I not paid Plutt for her.”

“If all you wanted to do was free her, then you should have paid for her freedom and hired her in your household. If that’s your excuse for marrying her, then it’s paltry at best.”

The king eyed him again as Ben tried to find the right words to convince the king not to dissolve his marriage. “Did your mother really pass on her ridiculous notions of sentimentality to you?”

Ben kept silent, unsure how best to answer the question.

“Well?” The king gestured towards him. “Do you love her or don’t you? Speak up.”

Ben attempted to keep a neutral expression on his face, but couldn’t help the slight widening of his eyes at the question. “I…”

“It’s a simple enough question,” the king said. “Either you’re an idiot who’s too stupid to realize he doesn’t have to marry every slave he sets free or you’re an idiot who let his heart override his good sense. Which is it?”

Ben felt himself break out into a sweat. It would do no good for him to lie to the king, but he was loath to pick either of the options before him.

“Do speak up. I haven’t all day and if you really don’t wish me to dissolve the union, then you had best give me a more compelling reason than ruining the girl’s reputation.”

Ben took a deep breath, holding it for several seconds before he exhaled.

“You’ll forgive me if I find it difficult to speak of matters of the heart.” He paused, glancing around the room as he tried to gather his thoughts. Returning his gaze to the king, Ben took another deep breath and continued. “I did not marry her to spite you, or only to free her from Mr. Plutt.”

The king raised his eyebrows once more and Ben knew he had not been let off the hook. He felt a bead of sweat roll down the back of his neck and swallowed.

“I –“ Ben cut off to clear his throat. “I married her because I knew she was the only woman for me.”

Silence descended for several long moments before the king spoke up. “You still have not answered my question. Do you or don’t you love her?”

Ben cursed inwardly. “I – Yes.”

The king nodded. “Well then. That settles it. Consider the matter closed.”

Ben stared, mouth parted, as the king grabbed a cake and shoved the whole thing in his mouth.

“I…beg your pardon?”

The king considered him, a knowing glint in his eyes as he chewed and swallowed the cake. Taking a sip of tea he said, “Your queen is something of a romantic. She made me promise not to dissolve your marriage if it was a marriage of love. I can’t say I would have relished the idea of bringing further scandal to our family either. Ergo, I needed you to give me a good enough reason not to dissolve it. Something to appease the masses. Now I can blame the queen’s sentimentality. Happy wife, happy life and all that nonsense.”

He made a shooing motion. “Off with you. I expect a month away is punishment enough. You’re free to return to the country.”

Ben nodded, hardly believing his ears. As he backed out of the room, he could scarcely comprehend what had just happened. The monarch had put him through all that just to scare him?

Once out the doors, Ben turned, a smile breaking out on his face at the realization that he had succeeded in keeping his marriage and that he now had leave to return to Rey.

Ben spent little more than ten minutes at his residence before he saddled a horse and set off on his own, leaving Edward to come along in the carriage behind him. Perhaps it was more than a little foolish to travel all the way back on horseback, but Ben had too much energy to sit in a carriage for hours on end. He would simply ride for the day, stopping long enough to sleep. He may need to purchase a new horse along the way, so as not to run his into the ground, but he would simply cross that bridge when he got to it.

He resisted the urge to gallop all the way back to the manor, settling instead on alternating walk, trot, and gallop. He also forced himself to stop long enough to eat lunch and rest and water his horse. He spent scant hours at an inn that night, sleep completely eluding him at the thought of returning home the following day. Once the sky began to brighten, Ben figured he had rested enough and set off once more.

His heart pounded as he galloped up to the manor. A smile crossed his face at the prospect of seeing Rey’s face again. He had been gone so long that her likeness was beginning to become fuzzy in his mind’s eye. When he pulled to a stop, Rey came rushing out of the garden, stopping, eyes widening when she saw him.

He dismounted, his thoughts whirling as he wondered how best to greet her. Before he could come to a decision, however, Poe came striding out of the garden behind Rey. Ben’s stomach dropped, anger and betrayal flooding through his system as Rey turned behind her.

All previous happiness crashed around him as he realized that in his absence Poe had tried to steal his wife.

Chapter Text

Chapter 12

Ben’s vision narrowed, seeing only the man responsible for stealing his parents’ affections from him. Having now realized he loved Rey, he refused to lose her to the captain as well.

“Leave.”

Rey twisted back towards Ben, eye’s wide. “Captain Dameron was merely walking with me in the garden, Ren.”

Ben’s gaze snapped to her, anger and jealousy flaring white hot at her defense of the man.

“I came unannounced,” Poe said, holding a hand up as if to ward off Ben’s anger. “Your wife was gracious enough to see me.”

“I am not so gracious,” Ben replied, pulling himself up to his full height. “Leave or I shall have you escorted off the property.”

“Ren, please be reasonable.”

Ben looked over at Rey, who flinched when his gaze met hers. “I am being quite reasonable. I am simply asking that your guest take his leave. If he refuses then I shall be forced to have him escorted off the property.”

Ben’s hands curled into tight fists. Rey glanced at them for a moment before she turned to Poe.

 “I believe it’s best if you take your leave, Captain.”

Poe nodded. “Of course.” Turning to Ben, he added, “There will be no need for violence, Ben.”

Ben forced himself not to react to the captain, watching closely as he mounted his horse, and not dropping his gaze until Poe had exited the gate to the estate.

Ben abruptly turned on his heel and walked towards the door, not trusting himself not to yell at his wife. He needed time to cool his temper before facing her and demanding answers.

He strode quickly to the stairs, taking them two at a time in an attempt to expel his excess energy.

“Ren!” Rey’s voice came from behind him, but he ignored it. She called again, a note of pleading in her voice. “Ren! Please wait!”

Ben paused at the top of the stairs, her pleading tone breaking through his anger. He kept his back turned, his hand tightly gripping the bannister as he closed his eyes and tried to force down his anger and betrayal. He heard her in front of him, breathing heavily after running up the stairs.

When she made no move to speak, Ben opened his eyes and stared down at her.

“I expressly forbade you from contact with Captain Dameron, and the moment I’m gone you go behind my back and see him anyway.” His words were clipped with barely contained rage.

Rey shook her head, eyes wide, looking slightly panicked. “It wasn’t like that, Ren. I promise you.”

Ben gripped the banister harder as all the things that might have happened in his absence flooded his mind. “Then why was he here?”

Rey, swallowing, slowly placed her hand atop his and pulled it off the bannister. He was so surprised by the familiarity in the gesture that he didn’t try to stop her or pull away.

Looking him in the eye, Rey spoke earnestly. “I was curious about your objections to Captain Dameron and when your parents had me over for dinner, I asked your mother for clarification on the issue. She must have told Captain Dameron my concerns, because he came by today to clarify that he had meant no harm that night.” She paused, biting her lip. A flurry of emotions passed through him at his mother’s involvement. He should have known she wouldn’t be happy to leave things be. She had never understood his objections to Poe.

“This was his first and only visit,” she continued, quietly. “Surely you cannot think so little of me as to believe I would bring shame upon our already scandalous marriage.” Rey swallowed, hurt shining in her eyes. Ben’s brow furrowed, his shoulders relaxing as he realized just how his anger would have looked to her. Shame washed through him as he realized his anger and jealousy appeared to her to be censure of her character.

“By speaking with your mother, I was simply trying to understand why you object so strongly to Captain Dameron that you would forbid me from seeing him. As well,” she said, a note of admonishment entering her tone, “I must admit to feeling a certain amount of confusion and distress that you would feel the need to forbid me when a simple request that I not see the captain would have sufficed. I don’t know what objections you have against the man, but I respect that you have concerns and therefore did not reach out to him myself.”

When she stopped speaking, Ben closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he processed her words. She had merely been trying to understand him. Poe had come to her. He had no reason to be angry with her, and truth be told he did not blame her for going to his mother. He had hardly been forthcoming in his reasons for forbidding contact with the man. After a prolonged moment, he closed his fingers around her hand and he sighed deeply, the tension in his shoulders easing at the feel of her small hand in his. He had missed her in the month he had been away.

When he opened his eyes once more, Rey’s breath caught and Ben dared dream she might have missed him too. There was a strangely vulnerable look in her eyes as his thumb brushed across her hand.

Before either of them could speak, however, a throat cleared. They both turned to find Mr. Smith walking up the stairs, seeming uncomfortable at having interrupted their conversation.

Rey made to pull her hand away, but Ben grasped it tighter, staying her. He refused to end their moment just yet, not done basking in the new hope that his lovely wife might have missed him.

“Forgive my intrusion,” Mr. Smith said, “but an urgent message just arrived.”

As he handed over the envelope to Ben, he was forced to let go of Rey’s hand to pull the letter out. Quickly reading through it, a flurry of emotions traveled through him. His uncle was sick, his mother bidding they come quickly to his deathbed. Anger at the timing rose to the surface, as did another emotion Ben didn’t want to examine as he clenched his fist.

Worry laced Rey’s tone as she asked, “What is it?”

Ben lowered the letter, his hand shaking. When he spoke, his voice came out hoarse. “It’s from my mother. My uncle is gravely ill.”

“Prince Luke?” Rey’s brows drew together.

Ben nodded. “He has pleurisy.”

He handed Rey the letter. She scanned it quickly, her breath catching.

“Does your mother know you’ve arrived home?”

He shook his head. “I did not alert her to my return. She probably sent another to my home in London.”

Rey bit her lip. “Are you going?”

Before he even realized he was doing it, Ben’s gaze dropped to her lips. He nearly smiled at the color that filled her cheeks, before remembering what they were speaking of.

“Why should I?” His gaze lifted to hers. “The last I saw my uncle, he was threatening to disinherit me.” He looked away, his throat thick as he swallowed. “I would likely only make things worse.”

Rey grabbed Ben’s hand again. “If you don’t go, you’ll regret it.”

When he clenched his jaw, she added, “If not for your uncle, then be there for your mother.”

Ben was silent for several long moments. He had not spoken to, or even seen, his uncle in many years. His parents had sided with Luke in their argument, and what paltry relationship they had had with Ben since then had been fraught with unspoken hurt. However, failing to go to them over such an urgent matter would no doubt spell doom for ever reconciling. Despite everything, even his own anger, Ben missed his parents and lamented their lack of relationship.

He nodded his head sharply.

Rey turned quickly to Mr. Smith. “Please send a reply back that we’ll be there as quickly as we can, and please send Beatrice up as well.”

The man nodded and hurried down the stairs.

Rey turned back to Ben. “This late in the day, it may be best to stay for at least one night.”

Ben looked down at Rey, noting how pretty she looked. He had missed her terribly in the weeks he had been gone. He had not even realized how much until he had been given leave to return. Nerves broke out in his stomach as he thought of his declaration to the king. He loved Rey. He thought of his kiss the night before he left and longed to press his lips to hers now.

Ben’s voice was barely above a whisper as he said, “That would make sense, yes.”

Several more long moments of silence passed between them, during which Ben catalogued Rey’s features, all of which had dulled in his mind during his absence. He would commission an artist to paint her likeness at his earliest convenience, though he hoped never to be parted for so long again.

 “I’m glad you’ve returned.”

Ben’s eyes widened at Rey’s declaration, his eyebrows rising as his heart skipped a beat.

“The house has felt empty in your absence,” she said, the added color rising in her cheeks making her doe eyes seem larger.

“Pardon the intrusion, ma’am.” Rey turned towards the voice of her maid, standing at a respectable distance away. “Mr. Smith said you required my assistance.”

Rey stepped away from Ben, turning towards her maid, brushing her hands down her skirt. “Yes. We shall be leaving for the Skywalker manor immediately. Please coordinate with Ren’s valet, as we will be staying the night at least, possibly longer.”

Ben took Rey’s distraction as the perfect moment to slip away. He needed to calm his nerves after such an emotionally charged return if he was to handle being under his parents’ roof again.

He silently closed his bedroom door just as he heard the maid say, “Right away, ma’am.”

He leaned against it for a moment before pushing off and heading towards his liquor. He most definitely needed a drink.

Ben watched Rey as the carriage swayed back and forth. They had left shortly after their discussion atop the stairs, Mrs. Phasma promising to send their servants after them. The carriage ride had been, thus far, silent.

He brushed a thumb against the palm of one hand, still tingling from the contact of helping Rey into the carriage. He dreaded his next words, mentally preparing himself for her shock and revulsion

“My parents will not think to provide us separate rooms.”

Rey whipped her head towards him, eyes wide as she swallowed. He tried to ignore the rush of disappointment at her reaction. It had been expected, of course, but hurt nonetheless.

“I can speak with Mr. Threepio discretely if you wish,” he said. “It would be but a mild inconvenience to have another room made up.”

“Wouldn’t your parents be aware? Can such a thing be hidden from them?”

Ben’s brow furrowed at her unexpected response. He had expected her to jump at the solution. “Most likely they would find out, yes.”

Rey looked away, running her palms down her skirt. Ben watched her closely, noting the way she bit her lip, a wrinkle appearing between her brows.

Taking a deep breath, Rey turned back to him. “No. I think it best we avoid further gossip.”

Ben stayed silent for several long moments, staring as he realized she would be sharing his bed after all. The thought made his heart start beating faster, though he quickly reminded himself that it likely meant nothing more than Rey’s wish to avoid further gossip about the state of their marriage.

“If that is what you wish,” he said, softly.

Rey nodded and turned back to the window, the carriage lapsing back into silence the remainder of the trip.

When they arrived at the estate, they were shown immediately into the drawing room. Ben’s father was pacing back and forth in front of the windows, while his mother sat in a chair and stared blankly towards the fire. They both turned towards Ben and Rey as they entered.

Leia pressed her lips together as she got up, eyes watery, and walked quickly towards them, grasping Ben and hugging him tightly. He blinked rapidly, in shock at his mother showing him such overt affection. He awkwardly returned her hug, forcing himself to ignore how much he loved it. Leia let go, grasping his shoulders and holding him at arm’s length.

“I did not realize you were home,” she said, her voice wavering. “Thank you so much for coming.”

Ben, mouth parted, was at a complete loss for words.

“How is he?” Rey ask quietly.

Leia turned towards Rey, letting Ben go in favor of hugging her. He saw his mother whisper something in Rey’s ear. Rey glanced quickly at him, her cheeks turning pink. He wondered what his mother had said to make his wife blush so prettily.

When she let Rey go, Leia grabbed them both by the hand and pulled them towards a settee, sitting herself in a chair opposite. Han shared a tense nod with Ben and kept pacing.

“Luke’s breathing is much labored,” Leia said, answering Rey’s question. “He...” she swallowed. “He is not expected to recover.”

Ben looked out the window, frowning, lips pressed together as he struggled to process the many emotions flooding through him at the news of his uncle’s impending death.

“There’s nothing to be done?” Rey’s voice came out hushed, though there was no need for whispers.

Leia sighed. “The illness has progressed too far. The doctor says his heart is weakened. Luke had been claiming illness for weeks, but I did not think-“ Leia paused as her voice caught. “I should have called a doctor sooner.”

Ben saw Han stop pacing out of the corner of his eye, turning towards Leia. “You can’t blame yourself for that. Luke’s a grown man. If anyone is to blame, it’s him and his unwillingness to come down out of his quarters.”

“Yes. You’re right, of course. I just wish…I was so used to the incessant excuses for his reclusive behavior that I did not think to believe them.” There was another pause before Leia continued speaking, a note of regret in her voice. “My visits to his wing of the house have gotten fewer in recent years. I just wish I hadn’t wasted the time…”

Ben was surprised by the next words out of his wife.

“Ren had only just returned home when we received your message. I fear he is quite exhausted. Might we be shown our quarters? We can join you again at dinner.”

Leia responded, concern coloring her voice, “Of course. Threepio can show you to your room. He should be waiting just outside.”

Rey nodded her thanks as Ben stood without a word and offered Rey his arm. They walked out the door and spoke with Mr. Threepio, who led them promptly to their room. When they arrived, Ben noted that their servants had arrived as well. He walked over to a window and stood, ignoring Edward’s inquiries. Rey quietly dismissed them both.

Silence descended on the room as Edward closed the door behind him. Ben was unused to feeling so many different things at once. He did not know how to act, what to say. He felt like he should have comforted his mother, but the idea was so foreign that he had no idea how to do so. His feelings regarding his uncle were another thing altogether. He was unsurprised to find his anger returning to the surface, the old hurt from Luke’s threat to disinherit him rising with it. Accompanying both those emotions, however, was a strange sense of despair. He had once looked up to his uncle. As a very young boy, he had revered his mostly absent father, but as he grew and both he and Han realized they had very few things in common, Ben had turned towards Luke, a fellow lover of the written word.

Ben had not thought of these things in so long that he now struggled with what to do with the accompanying emotions.

Before he had had much time to contemplate it, however, Rey broke the silence. “Is there anything I can do?”

Ben didn’t turn around, shaking his head once, sharply, not trusting his voice.

Rey walked over to him, placing a hand on his arm. He looked down at her, noting her concern.

“You’ve had a long day,” she said, “and I suspect several long days before that. Please come rest.”

Ben looked at her for several long moments before closing his eyes, sighing, and turning to walk over to the bed. As he walked, he shed his outer coat, letting it drop to the floor, and pulled his shirt loose from his pants. Sitting on the bed, he pulled his shoes off and then without another word lay back, staring up at the canopy.

Rey remained by the window, watching him, before walking over to his coat, picking it up and folding it over the end of a chair, placing the shoes on the floor next to it. Ben closed his eyes, listening to the sounds of Rey’s domesticity, his heart squeezing at the thought.

Sometime later, Ben watched as Rey closed the book she was reading with a sigh.

“I could not decide whether you were an exceptionally slow reader, or if you were simply not reading at all.”

Rey started and turned towards him.

“You startled me!” she said, a hand on her chest. “How long have you been awake?”

“I never went to sleep.” He had realized early on that sleep would be impossible and had instead chosen to discreetly watch his wife.

Rey frowned. “But we’ve been in here an hour at least. If you haven’t been sleeping, what have you been doing?”

Ben watched her for a moment, his eyes roving over her face, wondering if he dared answer the question truthfully.  

“I was watching you and thinking,” he finally said.

Rey’s frown dissipated in her shock. “You were watching me?”

He sat up in bed, swinging his legs over the edge and walking towards her, taking the chair opposite.

“You seem changed,” Ben said, his heart in his throat at speaking so candidly. “I’ve been wondering what could have caused a softening in your manner.”

“I….” Rey swallowed, looking down. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” she finally said.

Ben’s eyebrows rose. “I’m sure you do or it would not have taken you so long to respond.” He relaxed his face as he watched her, trying his best to appear open, hoping it would encourage her to share her feelings. Perhaps it was cowardly of him to wish for her to admit feelings for him first, but with the emotional upheaval he was in over being back in his childhood home, he did not have the courage to be the first to admit his love.

Rey seemed to be warring within herself before she finally blurted, “I know why you had to go see His Majesty.”

Ben sat back in his chair, steepling his fingers and eyeing her. He struggled to keep the disappointment at her deflection out of his voice.

“I see.”

Rey leaned forward. “Tell me true, Ren. Are we still married?”

Ben’s mouth fell open. “Of course. Why wouldn’t we be?”

Rey sighed before a wrinkle appeared again between her brows. “You…You married me without His Majesty’s permission, did you not? Is that not why you were summoned?”

Ben nodded. “Yes. His Majesty felt I needed a good tongue lashing for marrying without his prior approval, but that is all the admonishment I received.” There was no need to scare her with how close the king had come to dissolving the marriage. He frowned as Rey fell back in the chair in relief.

“Did you think the marriage would be dissolved?” he asked, wondering her feelings on the subject. Was the relief due to avoiding ruination or was she pleased to still be married to him?

Rey nodded, meekly. “I had not considered that you would have needed His Majesty’s permission to marry me, especially since I am not a member of the peerage.” She paused, chewing her lip before continuing. “I was made aware of the reason for your summons, as well as the possibility that His Majesty would deem the marriage unfit and dissolve it.” She wrung her hands together. “With everything that happened when you returned, I had not found the right moment to bring it up.”

“And you assumed I would have continued to let you act as my wife were that no longer the case, with no regard at all for your propriety?” Ben could not help the hurt that coursed through him. Did she really think him so callous as to further ruin her by sharing a bed in his parents’ home?

“I…You’re right,” she said, surprising him and looking away. “I apologize for thinking so ill of you.”

Silence fell between them for several minutes before Rey looked back at him.

 “Will you see your uncle?” she asked.

Ben tightened his jaw and looked away.

“I don’t see the point,” he said. “If he is truly dying, then it would be better to avoid further arguments between us.”

Rey frowned. “Can nothing be done to reconcile the argument between you?”

Ben didn’t answer immediately, not trusting his voice.

“He is the one who threatened to disinherit me. I have not seen him since that day.”

Rey cautiously asked, “Has he made any overtures towards reconciliation?”

Ben did not answer, knowing the answer to that question would upset her. She had been raised without a family and he knew it haunted her, but neither did she understand the intricacies of his familial relationships, fraught as they were.

“Why are you here, if not to reconcile?” Rey asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Ben whipped his head around, her question hitting too closely on his emotions. “Because you convinced me to be here for my mother, who sided with her brother when he threatened me with disinheritance, if you must know.”

Rey shook her head. “I cannot imagine your mother siding against you. She dearly loves you.”

Ben scoffed. “It was only after months of no contact that she even tried to contact me. By then I was already the Duke of Ren and being disinherited had lost its threat.”

His voice rose with each word.

“But she did contact you,” Rey said. “Surely you cannot cast family aside so easily.”

Ben frowned. “I should think you would understand, seeing as your own parents cast you aside.”

Rey shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. “If I understand anything, it is that your family has tried to make amends where mine never have.”

Ben forced himself to calm as his anger towards the people who had sold their child flared hot.

“Sometimes it is best to leave well enough alone,” he said softly. “My uncle could not handle that I was my own man and threatened to disinherit me. He made the choice to put family reputation above all else. I spent the entirety of my childhood being shunned for the marriage between my parents and yet he and my mother are in good standing with each other. But I, his only nephew and heir, was going to bring scandal to the family name?” Ben shook his head. “No. I will not be tossed aside and forgive the slight so easily.”

Rey chewed her lip. “If he truly did cast you aside, then why would he try to make amends?” She swallowed. “If my parents arrived one day seeking my forgiveness, I would at least hear them.”

Ben narrowed his eyes. “And would you forgive them?”

Rey took a deep breath, thinking. “I would like to believe I could find it in my heart to forgive them.”

“Even if they sold you to Mr. Plutt for drinking money?” Ben watched Rey closely. He knew she would be crushed if she knew that her parents had sold her to Plutt, but could not stop the words as they came rushing out.

Rey frowned. “I…” She shook her head. “I don’t know.”

She narrowed her eyes, suspicion beginning to dawn. Ben quickly forged on before Rey could ask him what he knew.

“So, you admit the possibility that some slights cannot be so easily forgiven?”

Rey shook her head again. “Threatening disinheritance is not the same as being left behind with a strange man and made to work as a servant.”

Ben’s heart squeezed at her mournful tone.

“The man is dying, Ren. If he wishes to make amends, how can you deny him?”

Ben swallowed, looking away from her.

“If you do nothing, then you will surely regret it,” she said, standing up.

When he made no move to speak, she said, “I’m going to offer sympathy to your mother.”

Ben watched as she walked quickly out the door, her hands clenched at her sides. When she was gone, Ben leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and dropping his head in his hands.

How was he going to survive being in this house?

Chapter Text

Chapter 13

Immediately after Rey left the room, Ben grew restless. Being in his childhood home after so long away, with the vast amount of unspoken words between his family and himself, was proving to be much more difficult than he had anticipated. Memories that he had suppressed for years came flooding to the surface, both good and bad.

He stood, pacing back and forth in front of the window, trying to expel the restless energy. He knew he needed rest – he had traveled hard for days – but his traumatic arrival home, followed so closely with the return to his childhood home, kept him from calming enough to sleep.

When his energy finally gave out, he picked up the novel Edward had thought to bring and sat in one of the chairs by the window.

He didn’t know how long he had been rereading the same page before Rey quietly entered the room, closing the door with a soft snick. Had he not been staring blankly at the page, he might not even have heard her. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched her draw near, her steps hesitant. He did not have the energy for another discussion about his failings as a son and nephew so, berating himself for his cowardice, he pretended to be deep in his reading. When she was close enough that he could no longer pretend not to see her, he glanced up, nodded at her, and then returned to staring at the page before him.

Rey paused a moment before walking over to the chair opposite him and picking up her own book.

He struggled to maintain a calm exterior, his heart pounding as he turned a page to keep up the ruse that he was reading. She had given him hope atop the stairs at their manor when she said she had missed him. He wanted to explain himself to her, to explain everything that had led to his estrangement with his family, but he feared her pity.

He closed his eyes a moment, inhaling silently as he struggled for a topic of conversation. He had never more wished to be a natural conversationalist than at present. He gripped his book tightly as he recalled Dameron’s easy charm at Lady Holdo’s ball. Would that he had the same ability.

Gathering his courage, he spoke.

“I trust dinner went well?”

Rey looked up and pressed her lips together, censure in her eyes.

“It would have been better had you joined us,” she replied.

“I doubt that,” Ben said, wondering why he had chosen such an obviously fraught topic.

Rey sighed. “Your father was angry you did not appear and your mother was distraught. She has enough to worry about, losing her brother, without you adding to her despair.”

He looked away, ignoring the pang in his chest. “I came. That is more than they deserve.”

Rey sighed again, falling back in the chair in defeat.

“Why does my lack of relationship with my family bother you so?” he asked, though he had a good idea what the answer to that question might be.

Rey looked at him sharply. “And I might ask why you hate the parents who love you, the uncle who has tried to make amends.”

If she only knew that the parents she longed for had sold her to Plutt. Anger flashed through him at the thought. When he looked away again, she continued, irritation coloring her voice.

“We will continue to talk in circles if you do not admit, whether to yourself or to me, that you care for your family.”

Ben saw Rey watching him out of the corner of his eye. He ground his teeth together, feeling another pang in his chest. It was not that he had no wish to reconcile with his family, but he did not know how to do so after so long. There were too many words, both spoken and unspoken, a lifetime of neglect and pain.

After several tense moments, Rey set down her book and walked to the chair next to him. Sitting down, she turned towards him, hesitantly laying a hand on his arm. He tensed at the contact but when she made to pull away, he turned towards her and grasped her hand, staying its retreat. Rey’s eyes flew to his.

He struggled to keep his emotions in check as he fought against his instincts to avoid admitting to weakness, but he wished to make her understand.

“My parents have never chosen me,” he said, his voice rough. “Why should I choose them?”

Rey frowned, shaking her head. “What do you mean? They very obviously care a great deal for you.”

He shook his head, staring intently at her, willing her to understand. “When I was a boy, I was left in the care of a nanny. This is not uncommon in the peerage, but my parents were rarely at home, so I rarely saw them. They were too busy with their social life to bother with the child neither had planned for.”

Rey’s hand tightened as he continued, now looking over her shoulder, lost in his memories.

“I had no sibling, no companion, no parent. I was left alone.” He narrowed his eyes, frustration and hurt blooming as he sifted through his memories.

“When I was ten, my mother suddenly appeared with Poe Dameron, claiming we would be good friends.” He swallowed, curling his hand into a fist as jealousy swept through him. “My mother doted on him, as she had never doted on me. When I tried to tell her of his cruel teasing, she claimed he meant no harm.”

Rey’s mouth fell open. “You’re jealous of him.”

Ben dropped her hand, turned away, shame coursing through him.

Choosing not to respond to her revelation, he continued on. “Even my uncle abandoned me. When my mother felt my emotions were out of control, she pushed us together, expecting Luke would be able to teach me control. When that failed, I was to blame. My mother again sided against me.”

“What of your father?” Rey asked, her voice soft.

Ben scoffed. “My father had no interest in me. Though I excel at hunting, I have no taste for it. My mother again pushed the two of us together and every time it ended in quarrels.”

He looked at Rey then, his emotions running high as he thought of Rey’s insistence on pushing him towards his family. “Even you would side against me.”

Rey recoiled, hurt flooding her eyes. Shaking her head, she stood quickly.

Ben immediately regretted his petulant outburst. As she turned away, he quickly grasped her hand.

“Wait.”

Rey stopped, her back to him.

“I…I apologize,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “That was unkind.”

Rey did not turn, though the fact that she had not pulled away from him gave him hope.

“Please.” His voice was barely above a whisper as he pleaded.

Rey sighed, squared her shoulders, and turned back to him, anger and hurt in her eyes.

“Do you know what my hope was going into our marriage?”

He watched her closely, shaking his head and fearing the answer to that question.

“It was my hope that if love was not to be had, that I could at least have a companion. Despite being pushed into a marriage I did not want, my greatest wish was that I would not have to live this life alone. I have never sought to work against you, Ren, and that you would believe me capable of it shows how very little you know about me.”

Rey wrenched her hand free and walked quickly to the door.

Ben watched her, shock and elation battling within him at her revelation. Before she reached the door, Ben jumped up, striding towards her, placing a hand on her shoulder to stop her. Rey swiped at her eyes as he turned her, crushing her to him. Her arms were pinned to his chest as he wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin atop her head.

“Please forgive me,” he said, his voice rough. “I spoke out of turn. It was not my intent to insult you. I…I have a nasty habit of speaking without thinking when my temper gets the better of me.”

Letting out a breath, Rey leaned into him. His heart raced, his breath hitching as the tension dissipated between them.

His mind also raced, running through all his encounters with his young bride. Had he so grossly misinterpreted their interactions?

“I thought you hated me,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Rey pushed against his chest. He dropped his arms and Rey took a half step back, tilting her head up to study him.

Shaking her head, bemused, she said, “I never hated you.”

Ben studied her, uncertainty and hope tumbling around his head.

“I hardly knew you,” she continued. “I went from being a servant of Mr. Plutt to being mistress of a manor and a Duchess. I was so overwhelmed I did not know what to do, and you did not seem inclined to help settle me into my role.”

Her words confused him. He spent several moments trying to understand what made her think he did not care.

“I gave you tutors.”

A corner of her mouth turned upwards.

Swallowing she said, “But you did not give me you. I was, and in most ways still am, married to a stranger.”

He forced down the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him as he recalled the frightened young woman on their wedding day, the many quarrels they had had.

“I saw the way you looked at me,” he said. “Like I was a monster come to frighten you. I stayed away because I assumed you did not wish to be in my presence.”

Silence followed his admission as Rey studied him.

“It would seem,” she said after a long moment, “that we have been at crossed purposes.”

His drew his brows together. “Where does that leave us now, then?”

Rey looked down for a moment before lifting her eyes back to his.

“How about we start by becoming friends?”

Ben did not immediately answer, disappointment coursing through him. It was not the answer he was hoping for. He quickly hid his emotions once more, not wanting to see pity on her face when she realized he wanted more than friendship. After several long moments, he nodded and stepped back.

“If that is what you wish,” he said, “then of course.”

The look of uncertainty in Rey’s eyes, however, renewed his hope.

They spent the rest of the evening in companionable silence, each reading their novels in the chairs by the window. Ben made it several pages before his mind drifted away once more. He glanced up to surreptitiously watch his wife. She seemed to be similarly lost in thought, her eyes unmoving as she stared at the page in front of her. He turned their conversation over in his mind as he watched her. He supposed they had made a move forward, though it certainly was not the step he would have wished.

He turned the moments of his return over in his mind. Rey had said she was glad he returned. Was it possible she had missed him as he had missed her? It seemed impossible that she would feel the same as he did, but his hope persisted.

He silently cursed the king for making him realize how much he loved his young wife. They had not yet been married two months. It seemed ridiculous that he had fallen for her so quickly. And yet, against all odds he had.  

Rey sighed, interrupting his musings, and went to the bell pull. It wasn’t until she pulled it, that he recalled they would be sharing a bed. He swallowed thickly as he set his book aside.

Beatrice and Edward arrived a few moments after their summons. Ben nodded at Edward, who set about pulling out his night clothes.

He noticed Rey quickly avert her eyes, her cheeks reddening as she turned towards Beatrice, and struggled to hide his smile as he stood in front of the mirror.

As Edward pulled off his shirt, Ben watched Rey through the mirror. Her eyes widened as she took in his bare torso. He forced himself to relax his face, to appear impassive as her gaze slid upwards. She quickly averted her eyes, her blush intensifying, when she found him watching her. She turned around, placing a hand on the desk in front of her. Hope and elation bloomed in his chest that Rey seemed so affected by him.

“Where should you like to dress, ma’am?” Beatrice asked, walking up to her side, a note of laughter in her voice.

“You can take the mirror,” Ben replied, stepping back. “I’ll finish dressing over by the desk.”

As he walked towards her, Rey nodded, averting her eyes once more.

“Thank you, sir,” she said as she brushed past him, head down.

Despite his own desire, Ben turned around to provide some privacy to his blushing wife. Edward, ever efficient and professional, dressed him quickly in his nightclothes.

“Will that be all, sir?”

Ben nodded at Edward, who set about grabbing his travel worn clothes to be laundered.

“Will there be anything else, ma’am?”

Ben glanced at Rey, who grasped the collar of her nightgown. “No, that will be all, Beatrice. Thank you.”

Beatrice nodded, sharing a look with Edward before she left, corners of her mouth turned upwards. Edward’s mouth twitched before he bowed and left as well.

Ben’s heart hammered as he watched Rey fidget. With hesitant steps she walked up to the bed, staring at it, as if unsure.

 “It does not matter which side. I have no preference.”

Ben was happy that his voice sounded unaffected.

Rey nodded, her eyes averted, and crawled into the bed, immediately pulling the covers up to her chin. She stared at the canopy as Ben went around the room extinguishing the remaining candles. When only the candle by the bed remained lit, he walked to the opposite side of the bed, pulling the covers back and sliding in.

Ben swallowed thickly as he joined her in staring up at the canopy. How was he meant to sleep when she was mere inches away from him? The bed was not small, but then neither was he.

Eventually he turned his head to her to ask, “If you wouldn’t mind blowing out the candle?”

“Of course.” Rey’s voice came out in a rasp as she turned to the candle and blew, throwing the room into complete darkness.

They both remained silent for a long while, though Ben was certain that Rey was just as awake as he was.

He could smell the faint scent of soap in her hair, turning his head and taking a deep breath. This did nothing to calm his heart, which insisted on racing while his mind reminded him that he was sharing a bed with Rey.

“Why did you hire the Smiths?”

Rey asked the question softly, but in the quiet room it might as well have been a shout.

Once his surprise at the question abated, Ben contemplated his answer. He wondered why she was asking now and how vulnerable and honest he wanted to be. Eventually he rebuked himself for being a coward and turned on his side to face her.

“You claimed to be lonely and that your one companion was only available on Sundays,” he said softly.

As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he saw Rey turn her head, her lips now inches from him.

“I’ve misjudged you, Ren. I’m sorry.”

Ben’s heart leapt at her admission and he dared to allow himself to hope once more. Perhaps, though she had requested they merely be friends, there was a chance, however slight, that something more could develop between them. Ben longed for her to see him not as the Duke of Ren, but as the man who loved her.

“Call me Ben.”

The words were out before he quite knew what he was saying.

“Alright,” she said, her voice shaky.

She turned her face back towards the canopy. “I’ve misjudged you…Ben.”

His given name was so similar to his title, and yet it felt so much more intimate for her to use it.

“It would seem we misjudged each other,” Ben said, thinking of their earlier quarrel.

Silence again filled the room. Ben longed to reach out, to pull her face towards him in a kiss. Her breathing was ragged, and her body tense. Ben dared hope she might be feeling similarly magnetized towards him.

Ben turned onto his other side before he could act on his impulses.

“Goodnight, Rey,” he said.

“Goodnight, Ben.”

He smiled in the darkness at the strain in her voice. Perhaps the best way to win his wife was to give her exactly what she wanted.

Chapter Text

Chapter 14

Surprisingly, Ben fell asleep rather quickly, the exhaustion of the past several days finally catching up with him. He woke in the night, disoriented, facing Rey. Her mouth was parted, her head turned towards him, her breath whispering across his skin. A lock of hair had come out of her braid, falling across her forehead.

Without thinking, Ben brushed the lock behind her ear and then slid his hand down to cup her cheek. He tensed, snatching his hand back and holding his breath when her brows drew together, sure that he had woken her.

After a few rather tense moments, Rey turned towards him, catching him by complete surprise when she snuggled into his chest before sighing and settling down once more.

He swallowed thickly, heart hammering as he lightly rested his chin on top of her head. Very carefully, he wrapped his arms around her, waiting for her to wake and pull away in horror. Instead, she smiled and nuzzled his chest with her nose.

Ben exhaled, all the previous day’s tension leaving him as he hugged his young wife close, savoring the soft scent of soap from her hair. He closed his eyes, having only enough time to think he would never get back to sleep before drifting off.

The next morning, Ben woke when Rey stiffened in his arms. He kept his eyes closed and struggled to keep his breathing even, not wishing to alarm her further. Taking a mental assessment of their situation, he realized that at some point in the hours since he had drifted off they had become even more entwined, their ankles and calves a tangled mess of limbs.

He felt Rey moving carefully, likely trying to figure out how to extricate herself without waking him. He found the thought amusing and struggled not to smile. As Rey stirred, Ben savored the feel of her in his arms, resisting the urge to squeeze her closer.

He heard her breath hitch and prepared for her to pull away. Instead she stayed still. Ben dared to open his eyes and saw her eyes were closed, the corners of her mouth upturned. His heart leapt and he quickly closed his eyes, now truly struggling to keep up the ruse that he was still sleeping.

He focused on his breathing as Rey remained still, desperately wondering what she was thinking. Was it possible she could want more from him than simple friendship? He tried to tamp down on his rising hope but it persisted. Perhaps she was possible for her to feel for him the depth of emotion he felt for her.

Slowly, Rey began moving her feet, carefully untangling her legs from Ben’s, before slowly shimmy down his torso. She paused several times as he lost control of his breathing, the muscles in his face ticking.

After some time, she successfully slid out from his grasp and carefully rolled away, sitting up. Setting her feet on the floor, she remained seated on the edge of the bed. Ben cracked his eyes open and watched her, wanting desperately to know what she was thinking. He quickly shut his eyes as she turned to glance behind her and sighed.

Ben felt the bed shift as she stood, and listened as she quietly padded away. Opening his eyes, he watched as she stood in front of the window. He admired the graceful slope of her neck, the braid of thick chestnut hair falling down her back, and the petite feet peeking out from her nightgown.

She shivered, and glanced over at the cold fireplace. Turning around, she gasped, putting a hand to her heart, clearly surprised to find him watching her.

“Sir, you startled me,” she said. “I was not aware you were awake.”

Ben sat up, swinging his feet over the side of the bed, amused to see color high on her cheeks.

“My apologies for startling you.”

Ben felt her eyes on him as he walked over to the bell pull and rang for their servants. Turning, he walked over, standing as close as he dared, and gazed down at her. His heart squeezed at her beauty. How had he been lucky enough to both find and marry her?

Rey blinked rapidly at him, and he once more struggled not to smile.

“I trust you slept well?” he asked.

She pressed her lips together, a wrinkle forming between her brows as she swallowed.

“I…was plagued with sleeplessness and strange dreams I’m afraid.”

“A result of sleeping in an unfamiliar home, I’m sure,” he replied, his voice soft.

“And with an unfamiliar person.”

Rey bit her lip as color bloomed once more on her cheeks. Ben found the dichotomy of shyness and boldness endearing.  

Before he could respond, Beatrice and Edward arrived with a knock.  

Rey exhaled in obvious relief as she walked unsteadily to the mirror. Ben spoke in soft tones to Edward, making his wardrobe request for the day. After Edward walked towards the small closet Ben, feeling eyes on him, turned to look at Rey. He hid his smile as she quickly averted her gaze, mumbling a response to Beatrice’s question and turning back to the mirror.

 Ben turned back as Edward returned with his clothes and set about dressing. When he was done, he paused, glancing at Rey, who seemed lost in thought as Beatrice pinned up her hair. Swallowing thickly as he once again noted her beauty, Ben turned and strode out of the room. He knew the proper thing to do would be to escort her down, but he needed a few moments to collect himself before he did something rash like declare his love.

His stomach churned nervously as he entered the dining room. Walking to the sideboard, he prepared himself tea, hoping to settle his stomach. By the time Rey joined him, he was sitting reading the newspaper and sipping at the tea in an attempt to appear at ease.

He watched out of the corner of his eye as Rey inhaled deeply before pausing when she noticed him. After a short moment, she walked over to the sideboard and began piling food onto her plate.  

Sitting in the chair opposite him, Rey grabbed her fork and began eating, hardly pausing between bites. Ben watched her, noting the extra weight she had put on in his absence. It looked good on her. Her clavicles were not as sharp, the hollows of her cheeks filled in. Anger engulfed him as he realized how little Plutt must have fed her.

After several bites, Rey raised her eyes and seeming surprised to find him watching her as he sipped his tea.

Setting her fork down, she grabbed her napkin, dabbing her mouth.

“Pardon my lack of decorum,” she said, casting her eyes down as her cheeks reddened. “I’m afraid I didn’t eat much for dinner and the food here is delicious.”

Ben frowned, barely reigning in his anger that she should feel embarrassed. “You needn’t apologize for eating.”

Rey’s lifted her head and stared, eyes wide.

“It does me good to see the outward signs of a life of hunger leave your appearance.”

Rey cleared her throat, averting her eyes once more as her face reddened further. “Mr. Plutt did not starve me sir,” she said quietly.

“Neither did he nourish you.”

Ben’s voice came out sharper than he intended. He set down his cup and carefully reached across the table to place his hand over hers, his eyes holding hers steadily despite the pounding in his heart. “These past weeks have been kind to you, Rey. I did not realize just how underfed you were until I returned yesterday to find you in such good health.”

Rey swallowed, Ben’s words clearly taking her aback.

“You needn’t pretend with me,” Ben said, hoping she would understand that he did not wish for things to be so formal between them. “Though we both know the value of manners in the presence of others, you needn’t worry about keeping up appearances when it is just you and me. If you are hungry, please eat.” He pulled his hand away and picked up his tea and paper once more. Keeping his tone neutral, he added, “We are friends now after all.”

After that first morning, Ben always woke before Rey, quietly dressing as she slept and waiting by the windows to accompany her to breakfast. He pleased to note what he hoped was disappointment in her eyes each morning when she first looked to his side of the bed and found he wasn’t there.

An air of gloom hung over the estate as they waited for a change in Prince Luke’s health. Rey took it upon herself to let Ben know his uncle had neither improved nor worsened and was spending a great deal of time sleeping fitfully. His mother spent a good amount of time by her brother’s bed, holding his hand, Rey accompanying her on occasion to sit tensely at Luke’s bedside. His father stopped by on occasion as well, though he apparently never stayed long. Rey pleaded with Ben daily to visit his uncle, but he continued to refuse. Instead he spent his time in the library, alternately reading and carrying on with his own estate’s business. Their home’s ledgers had been brought over for him to peruse. He could tell that his continued resistance upset Rey, but he feared visiting his uncle would lead to more ill words between them. It did not escape his notice that Rey was trying not press him too hard, however, for which he was grateful.

In the late afternoons, Ben would venture of the library and request Rey walk the grounds with him. They talked little as they walked, Ben merely pointing out various plants and statues in the garden. He spoke to her as he would a friend, remaining cordial the entire walk and staying away from sensitive topics. He was doing his best to honor her request that they be friends, though he daily considered confessing his love for her. His heart leapt every time he saw disappointment in her eyes as he left her to return to the library.

During one such walk, Rey blurted out, “Will you really let your uncle die without a word.”

He whipped his head to look at her, shocked by her sudden outburst. He considered her as they stopped walking, noting the tension in her shoulders, the dark circles under her eyes, and the wariness as she faced him.

After several long moments he asked, “What is the cause of this sudden outburst?”

Rey’s jaw ticked, and Ben sensed the anger radiating off her.

Swallowing, she said, “We’ve been here a week and you’ve yet to set foot in your uncle’s quarters.”

 Ben frowned, trying to tamp down his own frustration. “I believe I’ve made my feelings on the matter perfectly clear on each occasion that you’ve pleaded with me.”

Rey shook her head. “If he dies without you visiting him, you will come to regret it.”

Ben looked away, ignoring the way his heart squeezed. “I doubt that.”

She took his hand.

“Ben.”

He looked back at her, keeping his expression guarded.

“I do not mean to trivialize what you have been through,” she said. “Your uncle treated you unkindly, but he never went through with your disinheritance and you yourself have admitted that he would wish to reconcile. You have never heard what he has to say on the matter. It is more than possible he regrets his actions towards you.”

Ben narrowed his eyes as he swallowed past the emotion her words elicited. When he remained silent, Rey continued.

“Promise me you’ll at least consider seeing him. Truly consider it.”

When Ben made no move to answer her, Rey spoke again, her voice wavering with emotion. “I’m afraid of what it will do to you should he die while your bitterness remains.” She grasped his other hand, squeezing them both. “Please promise me.”

Ben clenched his jaw, trying to keep his emotions from overwhelming him. He did not want his estrangement from his family to cause strain between himself and Rey, but the thought of facing the uncle that had so easily cast him aside only made him angry.

“Very well,” he said after several long moments, a hard edge to his voice.

His heart constricted once more when Rey smiled, lighting up her face. Ben pressed his lips together and dropped her hands before he did something rash like grab her face and kiss her.

“I’ll consider it, but I make no promises.”

“I understand,” she responded.

Her smile widened, happiness making her eyes sparkle. Before he knew what was happening, she stood on tip toe and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Thank you.”

He froze, his cheek burning where her lips had pressed. Rey made to pull away, casting her eyes down, but Ben quickly grabbed her hand, staying her retreat. He stared at her, trying to understand her motivation. Had she merely kissed him in gratitude or did she perhaps want his advances after all? Ben slowly raised his other hand to cup her cheek, heart racing as his thumb brushing across her cheekbone.

Rey swallowed, her eyes wide. He waited for her to pull away from him, to reject him.

“I…I apologize,” Rey said quietly. “That was overly friendly of me.”

Ben’s mouth dried as he gathered his courage.

“Yes,” he said, his tone also hushed. “It was.”

He stepped closer, lightly grabbing Rey’s waist with his other hand, his heart in his throat.  He lowered his head slowly, watching her closely, still waiting for her to pull away or tell him to stop. Rey’s eyes widened suddenly and had the moment not been so tense, he might have laughed at her panicked expression. Instead, he paused and began to pull away. Rey, however, shook her head, reaching her hand up to pull his head down as she rose on tiptoe and pressed her lips to his.

Ben tensed in shock, but when he realized Rey meant to pull away again, he grasped her waist firmly and slid the hand on her cheek around to the back of her neck, holding her in place. His lips softened as he relaxed into the kiss, pulling her flush against him, tilting her chin up as he did so. He pulled back just far enough to tilt his head, giving himself better access to her lips. He reveled in how soft she felt against him, her curves fitting into him, her lips soft beneath his. Her hands had fallen from his face and were clinging to his shirt. Without warning she fell from her tip toes, breaking the kiss. She had barely taken a breath, however, before Ben sealed his lips over hers once more. The hand grasping the back of her neck tightened, his fingers winding into her hair and begining to pull her carefully styled hair free of its pins.

Ben’s heart soared as he continued to nip at her lips. Though he had had reason to hope these last few days, he had scarcely allowed himself to dream of kiss. The moment felt suspended in time, each second stretching into eternity as he held her close, savoring every kiss.

Someone coughed behind them, and Rey broke away with a gasp. Ben, not fully realizing what the sound meant, made to kiss Rey again, but she pushed lightly at his chest, her cheeks now flushed as she took a step back. Ben closed his eyes, cursing the intruder. He sighed as he let her go, pulling his shirt straight before turning, using himself to block Rey from view, hoping to afford her the time to straighten her appearance as well.

One of the household servants, looking decidedly uncomfortable, bowed his head.

“My apologies for the interruption, Your Grace, but your mother urgently requests you join her and Mr. Solo in Prince Luke’s quarters. He has awoken and is asking for you.”

Ben curled hands into fists as an undefined emotion swept through him. Rey stepped around him, her hair once more in place.

“Of course. We’ll be up at once,” she said. Without waiting for him to respond, Rey grasped his hand and pulled him with her as she hurried towards the manor.

Chapter Text

Chapter 15

Rey walked quickly towards the manor, pulling Ben behind her as he mused on what had just happened. He had kissed Rey and she had seemed to return his kiss. She had pulled away readily when they were interrupted, however. His chest tightened. Perhaps he had simply surprised her and she had not wished to be kissed by him. Or perhaps, even worse, she had done so because she thought it her wifely duty. Ben felt like a stone dropped into his stomach and his mouth filled with cotton at the thought. He would have to speak with her. He could not have her thinking that she had to return his advances, even though they were married.

When they entered the house, Ben pulled her to a halt. Rey glanced around, chewing her bottom lip. Ben’s unease intensified.

“Rey-“

Rey turned and put a hand over his mouth. His eyes widened in surprise and confusion as she shook her head. “Now is not the time. We need to get to your uncle.”

Ben slowly grabbed her wrist, removing her hand from his mouth. As he lowered his arm, he slid his hand down to grasp her hand. In a snap decision, he pulled her into the nearest room. He spoke quietly to a servant, letting them know they were not to be disturbed, then he quietly shut the door. Gathering his courage, he turned towards Rey, considering her carefully. She had clasped her fingers together, fidgeting. She seemed to be uncomfortable being alone with him.

“Ben, he may be dying-“

“Luke can wait,” Ben said. He took a step towards her. Rey’s eyes widened and her mouth parted. She looked ready to bolt, but stayed rooted to the spot as Ben walked slowly towards her. She swallowed as he neared, and Ben nearly left the room entirely at the look of trepidation in her eyes.

When he reached her, he grasped her hand and pulled her over to a settee, sitting and pulling her down as well. He squeezed her hand, reaching out his other to cup her cheek. Her breath hitched when he did so, though he was unsure whether it was fear or another emotion that was the cause.

“Are you alright?” Ben asked, his voice soft as his gaze wandered across her face trying to discern her emotional state.

“I-“ Rey blinked several times, clearly caught off guard by the question. She frowned as she considered her answer and Ben’s heart pounded, fearing she would say no.

“Yes,” she said after several long moments.

Ben loosed a breath, the tension in his shoulders diminishing as he grazed her cheek with his thumb. Overwhelmed with relief, he pulled her to his chest, wrapping his arms around her back and waist and pulling her nearly onto his lap, her cheek resting against his chest. His heart raced as he waited for her to push him away. After a moment, however, she slid her arms around him. He relaxed further, his heart soaring when she melted against him, exhaling as the tension left her body. Though it was a small thing, hugging, it somehow felt more intimate and hopeful than the kisses they had shared.

After some time, Rey started to pulled back. Ben tighten his grip, attempting to stay her retreat, not yet ready to let her go and face his uncle. As she continued to push against his chest, however, he reluctantly dropped his arms and leaned back, schooling his face into impassiveness. He was unsure of what she would say next and wished to guard his heart as best he could.

Rey looked at him as if she were searching for something. Ben took the moment to drink in the sight of her. Her lips were still reddened from their kisses, her hair looking hastily repaired, wisps falling to frame her face and curl against her neck. Ben thought she must be the most divine creature he had ever laid eyes upon. He knew many women among the peerage took great care to make their appearance flawless, but his Rey was beautiful in her simplicity. She was not flawless – her skin was still rather tan and she had freckles dotting her face – but the imperfections paired with her luminous green eyes was itself flawless.

His thoughts were interrupted when a wrinkle appeared between her brow.

“Why did you wonder if I was alright?” she asked.

Ben swallowed, smoothing down his hair as he glanced away from her, trying to gather both his thoughts and his courage.

“Do you regret what happened, just now garden?” he asked, not answering her question. “Do you regret kissing me?”

He tensed as he awaited her answer, preparing himself for the blow.

No.”

He whipped his gaze back to hers, surprised by her answer.

“Why should I regret it?” Rey asked quietly.

Ben regarded her a moment, hardly daring to hope that she might return his affections.

“You said you wanted to be friends.”

Rey’s eyebrows rose. “And we cannot be friends if we kiss?”

Before he could respond, her expression cleared, understanding dawning. “I was not lying when I said I wished for a companion in my marriage, but,” she paused, swallowing as she held his gaze. “I will also welcome a marriage of love as well as respect.”

Ben stopped breathing as color bloomed on Rey’s cheeks. Had he heard her correctly? Was she truly open to finding love with him? He tried to tamp down his ballooning hope, but it persisted, bolstered by the declaration that she was open to loving him and being loved in return.  

She looked down, brushing her hands down her skirt, a nervous habit that Ben now found endearing.

“I think it best we save this conversation for another day.”

Ben’s heart stuttered, his emotions crashing down.

Looking up, she continued, “Your mother begged us to come quickly and I do not think it would be wise to delay. We know not when Prince Luke will breathe his last.”

Standing, she walked hurriedly towards the doorway, throwing open the door and walking quickly to Prince Luke’s wing of the manor. Ben trailed behind, trying to process the conversation while also preparing himself to see his uncle. It had been years since they had been in one another’s presence. Ben had avoided any gathering where Luke would be present and Luke, for his part, had become a recluse.

Rey knocked on the door to Luke’s bedroom and entered quietly. Ben hesitated a moment before stepping into the doorway. There was a thick air of gloom and sickness permeating the space. Ben’s gaze immediately went to the bed where his uncle lay, looking pale and quite thin. His mother was using a rag to wipe Luke’s face as he turned his eyes towards Ben.

Ben stood rooted to the spot, taking in his uncle’s wasted appearance. His heart constricted as a flood of memories came to him. Luke teaching him the finer points of horseback riding. Luke hunting with Ben and his father. Ben laughing as Han roped Luke into a shooting competition only to be beaten at his own game. Ben swallowed as he recalled just how much he had looked up to his uncle, had wanted to be like him. And Luke taken his hero worship and smashed it against a wall of self-righteousness. Ben clenched his jaw at the reminder.

Leia, noticing Luke’s gaze, turned and gasped, placing a hand over her heart as she stood and rushed over.

“Ben, you came.”

Rey turned to look at Ben just behind her, surprise in her expression. She stepped further in and off to the side to allow Leia, tears in her eyes, to hug him. Ben fought against the tidal wave of emotions that washed over him as his mother embraced him, patting her awkwardly on the back. They had hardly been on speaking terms the last several years and prior to that Ben could think of very few times when his mother showed him such overt affection.

Leia pulled away, turning to look at Luke, who was still watching Ben with a guarded expression. Ben met his uncle’s look, swallowing against his suddenly scratchy throat. Leia grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the bed.

“Ben, please speak with your uncle.”

Ben stood awkwardly next to the bed, unsure how to start. It had not been his doing that he and his uncle had become estranged, after all.

Luke coughed, a sheen of sweat now on his brow, his breathing labored.

“You look well, Ben,” he rasped.

Ben frowned at how small Luke’s voice was. “I cannot say the same for you, uncle.”

Leia let out a heavy sigh and Rey whispered sharply, “Ben!”

Luke lifted a hand. “It’s quite alright.”

Rey went to sit in a chair next to where Han stood pacing, looking drawn, circles under his eyes. Leia remained where she was. Ben could feel her eyes upon him, likely waiting for things to dissolve into quarrels.

“I failed you, Ben,” Luke rasped, stopping to cough. “For that I am sorry.”

“I’m sure you are,” Ben said, bitterness rising to the surface. His uncle’s apology grated, as if years of being ignored could be wiped under the rug with three simple words.

“Why have you asked for me?” he said. “To purge yourself of guilt? So you can die knowing it was my fault we remained estranged?”

Luke let out a hollow laugh. “No. Whatever guilt I have in our estrangement, you also share. It was not only I who severed all connection.” Ben scoffed as Luke continued. “I tried to make amends, but you refused to see me. That you see me now is only a testament to how far gone I really am.”

 “Then why?” Ben’s voice was strained, his emotions threatening to get the better of him. He refused to do his uncle the courtesy of crying.

“If I die without at least trying to reconcile with you, then you will carry bitterness with you throughout your life and it will poison you.” Luke glanced over at Rey. “It will poison every relationship you hope to have. It will leak onto your family, your children, your grandchildren.”

Ben resisted the urge to glance at Rey at the mention of children. His breath caught at the thought of little girls with Rey’s sweet disposition and fierce loyalty, little boys with sandy brown hair and green eyes. He wondered if Rey wanted more than the single heir that would be required of her. He had never given children much thought, supposing he would be wed out of obligation rather than love. Now that the thought entered his mind, he wanted half a dozen. A gaggle of children who would never be lonely and would know their parents loved them.  

Luke coughed violently then, interrupting Ben’s thoughts. Leia rushed to his side to pat his back, to offer him water. Ben looked down at his uncle, the reality of his impending death suddenly hitting him. Luke would not recover from this sickness. The thought caused emotions long buried to surface. Ben tried to push them away, to hang onto his anger, but seeing the frail man so close to death made it difficult.

Rey stood and walked over to Ben, grasping his hand and leaning against his arm, her head on his shoulder. He looked down at her in surprise, relaxing slightly under her calming presence, and turned back to Luke when she nodded her head at him.

Luke lay with his eyes closed, his breathing becoming more labored.

“Perhaps I should leave,” Ben said. He had no wish to make the man’s last moments fraught with pain and bitterness. “My presence seems to be making things worse.”

“No,” rasped Luke, his eyes opening.

“You are dying, uncle,” Ben said, bluntly. “Whatever else you may think of me, I do not wish to hasten your death with my presence.”

“Quit speaking and listen.” The rasp and labored breathing leeched the harshness out of Luke’s tone, but his eyes glinted hard. “It is true that I failed you when you most needed help.” He glanced over at Leia. “I drove your son away, into the hands of Snoke.” Leia shook her head, but Luke turned back to Ben. “I spoke harshly in anger. I never intended to disinherit you. I let my anger at myself, and my failure to provide the help you needed, turn towards you. For that I am sorry.”

Ben clenched his jaw, trying to hold in the emotions that were currently boiling over at his uncle’s admission of guilt. He grasped Rey’s hand tightly, her presence the only thing keeping him from breaking down. His eyes pricked with tears as she glanced up at him. She gently squeezed his hand back, giving him an encouraging look when he glanced down at her.

Looking back at Luke, Ben refrained from speaking but nodded his head.

“That’s all you’re going to do?” Leia spoke harshly towards her son.

Luke weakly put a hand on Leia’s arm. “It’s quite alright. More than I expected really.”

He coughed again, shudders wracking his body as his lungs began to rattle. Rey turned her head into Ben’s shoulder, while Ben blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears from falling. Try as he might, he could not stay angry with the man. When Luke calmed, he looked at Ben once more.

“Don’t hold onto your anger and bitterness – “

Luke choked off, his body shuddering as his coughing shook him. Ben noticed with foreboding that his lips and fingertips had started to turn blue. A doctor arrived just then and Ben realized his father must have called for him.

Ben and Rey stepped away from the bed as the doctor pushed through them, gently persuading Leia to step aside.

Han walked over, looking grim. “Come outside. There’s no need to witness this.”

They followed Han out into the hallway.

“You can go to the drawing room and wait. We’ll send word – “

Ben shook his head. “We’ll wait here.”

He looked down at Rey, hoping she would stay with him. Rey nodded and Ben exhaled, hardly even aware he had been holding his breath.

Han ran a hand down his face, nodding and looking weary. He pointed to a settee settled across the hallway, facing the door to Luke’s room. Ben nodded at his father and then pulled Rey over to the settee. They sat down, Rey leaning against the back of the settee and Ben leaning forward with his hand over his eyes, his other hand still holding onto Rey’s.

Should he have given his full forgiveness to the man? Would it have made much difference if he had? Or would it have helped give a dying man peace? Ben had no answers for these questions, but they plagued him as they waited for word of Luke’s passing. Ben played and replayed Luke’s final words to him. He wanted Ben to live free of bitterness. Ben squeeze Rey’s hand unthinkingly, realizing just how much good she had brought into his life. He had been changing, so gradually he had hardly noticed. Prior to Rey, he had simply existed, holding onto his anger and bitterness. It was likely he would have continued to do so the rest of his life had Rey not brought perspective.

They sat in silence for a long while. It felt like an eternity, neither one moving, save Ben absently rubbing his thumb over the top of Rey’s hand. It was such a small bit of intimacy, but he marveled once more that she allowed it. He longed to pull her to him and kiss her soundly, but could not gather the courage when at any moment they might hear of Luke’s passing. The hallway was silent save for the faint sound of their breathing, broken only by the hacking cough on the other side of the door. Each time the coughing subsided Ben braced himself to hear that Luke had at last gone, and each time the coughing renewed Ben felt Rey tense.

Finally, after a strong bout of coughing followed by a long stretch of silence, the door opened and Leia stepped out, tears dripping down her face as Han gently guided her forward.

Ben and Rey both stood. Han nodded grimly at them. Ben inhaled sharply, looking around blindly, running a hand down his face. The emotions he had mostly succeeded in keeping at bay crashed around him, filling both his heart and mind and overflowing, sweeping what little control he had away. Rey, looking unsure, touched his arm. He pulled away sharply, her touch suddenly reminding him of everything he wasn’t. He shook his head and then started down the hallway, walking so quickly he was nearly running. As he ran down the staircase, he could still hear the sounds of his mother sobbing.

Chapter Text

Chapter 16

Ben ran a hand through his hair as he reached the last step, turning towards the drawing room. He strode into the room and began pacing, running his hand through his hair again, tugging on it. Luke was dead and Ben had no clear idea how he felt about it. More memories flooded into his mind, memories of a child enamored by his uncle and of being scorned by the same uncle.

He felt restless and the pacing wasn’t taking the edge of his roiling emotions. Without thinking, Ben picked up a figurine on a side table and threw it at the wall as hard as he could. He exhaled at the satisfying crash, feeling better. He had always been terrible at keeping his emotions in check. It had been one of the many points of contention between himself and his parents and uncle.

He had been terrible at everything, truth be told.

He picked up a vase and threw it on the floor, swallowing as it shattered, sending debris scattering in every direction.

He had been nothing but a burden to his parents.

Another figurine hit the fireplace.

He had been so unlovable that his uncle had threatened to disinherit him. His parents hardly spoke to him.

Two crashes in succession, glass now littering the floor, glittering like jewels in the sunlight.

He paced again, tearing his hands through his hair. The day should not be so sunny. It should be cloud covered and gloomy.

Rey, his sweet, caring wife. He had been selfish. He had tainted her reputation by marrying her. She was lonely, brought into the ruthless peerage with no training to help her. It would have been better had he left her with Plutt. Everything he touched turned to ash.

As he passed by the mantle above the fireplace, he grabbed a figurine and with a grunt of frustration, threw it to the opposite wall, where it shattered into a million pieces. He then turned back to the mantle and grabbed a vase. Before he could throw it however, Rey spoke, completely surprising him.

“Ben.” Her voice caught.

He stilled, his entire body rigid, ashamed to be found so out of control. He dropped his hands to his sides, the vase falling to the ground and rolling away as his head dropped down, shame washing over him.

Speaking softly, his voice cracking with the emotions he tried to keep at bay, he said, “I would prefer you leave me to my anger.”

There was a moment of silence, and Ben wondered if his wife now feared him after witnessing such a display, a lead weight falling in his stomach at the thought.

“Perhaps it would help to talk?” she said.

He swallowed, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides as the restless energy that had caused him to lose control threatened to boil over once more.

“I think it best we not discuss my uncle.”

“Your parents think it best you not be left alone.”

Ben scoffed at the idea before Rey continued. “I am inclined to agree with them.”

Though he knew it would be more prudent to insist her leave, to spare her from witnessing his roiling ocean of emotion, he turned toward her. Immediately, she closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his waist, her cheek pressed to his chest. He tensed, caught completely off guard. She tensed as well, but before she could pull away, he wrapped his arms around her, crushing her to him and resting his cheek against her hair. His breath shuddered as he inhaled, his body shaking with emotion as she rubbed her hand up and down his back.

Ben had had so little affection in his life, and certainly not as an adult. As a result, a simple hug from his wife tore down his paltry defenses. He savored the moment, letting the anxiety, despair, and anger leech out of him as the woman he loved freely gave her affection to him.

When he had calmed, she began to pull away. Ben grasped her tighter, staying her retreat. Raising his head, he looked down at her. She tilted her head back to return his gaze, their faces mere inches apart. She bit her lip, compassion in her eyes. Ben’s recently calmed heart raced once more as he became possessed by the strong urge to kiss her. She opened her mouth, but before she could utter a word, Ben shook his head, closing the distance between them and pressing his lips to hers.

Rey tensed for a moment before her eyes fluttered shut. Ben slid his hands from her back, one gripping her waist and the other curling behind her neck. She gripped the front of his shirt as he tilted his head to the side to better fit their lips together.

Unlike their previous kiss in the garden, which had been a sudden blaze of lips and emotions, this was gentle. Ben poured all his love for Rey into those his kisses. It seemed every time he was in her presence his love grew stronger. She was the only person he felt calm around. The irony of his racing heart was not lost on him, but she made him want to be a better man, to be worthy of her love.

He softly caressed the side of her neck with his thumb, his lips soft. Rey leaned towards him, closing what little distance there was between them, tilting her head back further. Her hands slowly slid up, curling behind his neck, running her fingers through the hair at the base of his neck.

As her nails scraped against the back of his neck, Ben shuddered, an almost pained sound escaping the back of his throat as he gripped Rey’s waist harder. He pressed his lips harder to hers, deepening the kiss as his emotions, his desire to be worthy of her, surged.  He noted every point of contact between them, his hand on her waist, his fingers curled around her neck, his thumb sliding insistently against the side of her neck, her fingers gripping his hair, and their bodies pressed tightly together.

Ben broke the kiss, moving to kiss the corner of her mouth before making his way down the line of her jaw, lost to the moment, forgetting where they were and why they were there. A lock of his hair brushed against her face and her eyes fluttered open. Letting go of his hair, she moved her hands to his shoulders, pushing gently.

“Ben.” Ben smiled against her skin, trailing kisses down her neck as Rey’s voice came out breathless.

Ben failed to process the gentle pushing on his shoulder as his lips continued their descent.

When she pressed more insistently, his already tight grip on her waist tighten further. The moment was perfect and he did not wish it to end. He knew there was nothing but heartache waiting for him once the moment ended.

“Ben, please wait,” she said again, her voice firmer.

He froze, his lips pressed to the top of her shoulder, breathing hard.

“We-we need to talk,” Rey stuttered.

Ben exhaled sharply, dropping his hands, straightening, taking a step back, and turning away. They both breathed rapidly, as if they had been running. Ben ran his hands through his hair again, his hands shaking slightly as the roiling anger, bitterness, and sadness consumed him once more.

Rey cleared her throat. Before she could speak, he cut her off.

“I do not wish to talk.”

His voice came out harsh, much harsher than he had intended.

There was a moment of prolonged silences before she cleared her throat again. When she spoke, there was a note of censure in her tone.

“Ben, you cannot destroy your parents’ property.”

He laughed bitterly, tilting his head back. “It is not their property, but my own that I have destroyed. I have just inherited the residence, after all.”

“You cannot mean to be so callous.”

Ben ground his teeth and clenched his hands against the desire to find another vase to throw.

“Can’t I?” His voice came out in monotone, belying the mess of emotions he struggled to keep in check.

They stood for several moments, neither speaking as his words hung in the air between them, the sound of Rey picking her way through the glass the only sound breaking up the silence. When she laid a hand on his shoulder, he turned towards her, still trying to keep his emotions in check. A wrinkle appeared between her brows, empathy shining through her eyes. He couldn’t decide if her concern was soothing or irritating. He hated feeling so out of control and, worse, having her see him out of control.

Softly, compassion in her voice, she said, “It is ok to be upset at your uncle’s passing. Whatever else was between you, he was still your uncle.”

“My uncle whom I had not seen nor spoken to in many years,” Ben replied, weariness creeping into him as his anger drained away, leaving nothing but pain behind.

“The uncle who apologized in the end,” she said, pleading coloring her tone. “Who wished to be reconciled with his only nephew.”

Ben closed his eyes. “If you are here to tell me I should have given my forgiveness readily, then you are wasting both my time and yours.”

Rey stepped closer, placing her hand on his cheek. He swallowed at the contact, leaning into her, the warmth of her hand sending warmth through his entire body.

“I’m not.” He heard her swallow, pausing a moment before she continued. “My only reason for coming to you,” she said, “was to bring you comfort. Though your relationship with your uncle was not fully mended, his passing has surely caused you pain.”

He opened his eyes. Rey faltered, uncertainty in her expression. He was once again struck by her beauty. How had he managed to find such a lovely and caring creature to be his wife?

“We – We are friends-“

Ben interrupted her, grabbing her wrist lightly and pulling her hand away from his cheek. His heart hammered as he pressed his lips to her fingers. “I think we are more than mere friends.”

Her face flushed as she stammered a reply.

“I – well, yes. We are married, of course.”

“Did you not say you wished for a marriage of love?” Ben asked, holding her hand against his chest, hoping she could feel how she caused his heart to race, that she would understand and return his feelings.

Rey, mouth gaping, stared at her hand. Ben’s eyes dropped to her lips, wanting to kiss her again, to feel something other than pain and anger.

“D-did I?” she finally stammered out, closing her eyes. Ben watched as she took a breath, seeming to steady herself before squaring her shoulders and looking up at him once more. “We cannot discuss this now. It’s not proper.”

Ben’s heart fell, his chest tightening as he struggled to once more hide his emotions from Rey. He dropped her hand and stepped back, needing to distance himself from her before he did something rash like declare his love and beg her to love him in return.

“As you wish,” he said. Bowing to her, he held out his arm. Struggling to keep his tone polite yet impassive – to hide the depth of pain her words caused him – he said, “I’m afraid I’ve left this room in shambles. Allow me to escort you out safely, so you do not cut your feet on a stray piece of glass.”

Hurt and confusion passed through her expression before she nodded back at him, placing her hand in his arm and allowing him to guide her through the room so as to avoid the worst of the glass. He repressed the desire to carry her, knowing no good would come of that suggestion. Rey clearly did not share his depth of feeling and, though he was not surprised, the pain cut through him, feeling as if it were slicing his heart right out of his chest.

 When they exited the room, he called to one of the many servants still huddled by the stairs, asking that he clean up the glass littering the drawing room. He led them up the stairs to the room they shared. His parents would need someone to be there to comfort them and Ben knew he was not up to the task. He needed to distance himself from Rey, to reinforce the walls around his heart lest he risk having it battered once more. Perhaps a good night’s rest away from her would help. Having her stay, to help his mother, was the best option.

When they entered the room, Ben was pleased to see both Beatrice and Edward were already present and packing their things. Before Rey could turn towards him, he turned to Beatrice.

“The duchess will not be leaving tonight. She can return after breakfast in the morning.”

Beatrice nodded her understanding.

Turning towards Edward, he continued, pretending he did not notice Rey stiffen and turn towards him. “I will be leaving within the hour. You may follow after with my things. And please let Mr. and Mrs. Smith know they will be staying until the Duchess leaves tomorrow as well.”

Edward bowed. “Of course, sir.” Nodding towards Rey, he exited the room.

Beatrice turned towards Rey. “Would you like to prepare for dinner, ma’am?”

Rey, instead of answering her lady’s maid, turned towards Ben. “You mean you’re leaving?”

Removing her hand from his arm, he straightened his jacket, avoiding her eyes. “There is little point in my remaining here. I will be of no comfort to my parents. It will be best for all if I take my leave.”

Rey shook her head. “Why am I to stay, then? Should I not return with you as well?”

“You have been a source of great comfort for my parents. As well, it is quite late in the day and you have been under great stress. It would serve you better to remain here for the night and return tomorrow when you are well rested.”

“But then who will comfort you?” Rey asked. Ben’s heart squeezed at the thought, but he swiftly quashed the feeling. “One might say as your wife, you are the one who should be receiving my comfort, not your parents.”

He cleared his throat, glancing away from her. “I am sure I will survive one night without your presence.”

Rey recoiled, obviously hurt by his callous response. “If that is what you wish,” she said stiffly.

“Then it’s settled,” Ben said, turning back towards the door. “I shall see you tomorrow then, madam.”

Without waiting for her response, he walked out the door and hurried down the steps, his fragile hold on his emotions beginning to crumble as Rey’s hurt expression replayed in his mind’s eye. Tears stung his eyes and his throat tightened as the full weight of the day’s events crashed upon him. He just needed to leave this place. No good ever came from staying in this house. Once he was at his own residence, all would be well. He would tuck his pain away and keep Rey at a distance. Then everything could go back to normal.

Chapter Text

Chapter 17

Ben was quite drunk. Even so, he poured himself another brandy, struggling not to spill any as his hand seemed to have a mind of its own, tilting back and forth despite his efforts to keep it steady. When the glass was two-thirds full, he set the decanter down, wincing at the loud clatter it made. Taking a long swallow, he turned, immediately regretting the decision. He blinked rapidly, trying to stop the room from spinning, and then stumbled towards his wingback chair by the fire.

“Cheers.” He toasted to the empty room before throwing back another long drink. He had lost count of how many glasses he’d poured, but he knew he was definitely drunk. He was glad he was drunk. Being drunk was uncouth and Ben had no desire to be the Duke of Ren at the moment.

Why had his mother been a princess? It would have been better if she’d been a barmaid his father had happened upon. Then maybe his life would have been simpler. There would have been no expectations, at least none that involved him marrying a woman in his station. He could have met Rey in the normal way, perhaps in a shop or at church instead of riding by her flashing calves. Maybe without the pressures of the peerage life he could have been a better conversationalist and won her affection through his charm.

Ben snorted at the thought. He wasn’t drunk enough yet to imagine a life in which he was charming and not a bumbling irritable recluse of a man. He took another drink before pulling the glass back and squinting at it, surprised to find it empty.

He stood and then promptly fell back in his seat as his head swam and the room spun.

Yes, he was very drunk indeed. The glass dropped out of his hand, rolling away on the carpet as his head fell into his other hand. Rey’s face, disappointment and hurt in her expression, swam before him. He leaned back, closing his eyes. He was very drunk, but clearly not drunk enough if the pain of her expression, of her rejection, still cut through him like a knife.

His last thought before he drifted to sleep in his chair was that he should pour himself another drink.

Ben groaned at the pounding in his head the next morning. He blinked, confused before realizing he must have fallen asleep in his chair. The pounding started again and Ben shook his head, wincing at the pain that followed, on then comprehending that the pounding was coming from his door. He groaned, holding his head as he got up. He stumbled his first couple steps, thinking perhaps he was still drunk, and grabbed the chair to steady himself. Glancing at the clock, his anger flared when he saw the early hour. Who on earth was pounding on his door at this hour? He would dismiss them immediately.

He wrenched the door open and glared at the offending person. They both recoiled in shock, Ben more than a little surprised to find Rey staring up at him, trepidation in her eyes. He watched her take stock of him and wondered belatedly how terrible he looked. He was relieved – and angry at himself for his selfishness – to see that Rey looked as if she hadn’t slept. Before he could ask why she was at his door, she took a deep breath.

“You left me, sir,” she said, hands balled into fists.

His remaining fury drained at the anger radiating off his wife. He opened his mouth to respond, but she continued speaking before he could.

“You abandoned me. You left me without thinking how I would feel.”

His heart squeezed at the catch in her voice.

“I-“ Ben tried to interject but Rey held up a hand.

“Do you think that I have kissed many men before you, sir? Because I can assure that I have not. I do not take lightly,” she said, her voice shaking as she enunciated each word, “the kisses we have exchanged, nor the friendship we had only just formed. I do not take lightly that I had misinterpreted your actions and apologized for them. Prior to my marriage to you, I had only Rose. Before Mr. Plutt and I moved here I had no one. No friend. No lover. The significance of my role as mistress of this manor, the fact that I am now the Duchess of Ren, does not escape me. I do not know what I have done in my life to have deserved more wealth than I can scarcely dream of, but I do not take it lightly!”

Rey’s voice began to rise, her body shaking in her rage. Ben was at a loss for how to respond, never having seen his wife is such a state. Not in any of the times she had berated him had she been so visibly furious.

“I was present with you at your uncle’s passing not because I enjoy the company of your family, but because I wanted to be there for you, to help you. But you…you brushed me off. Your kisses were the first I have ever shared, and when I sought to point out that it was not the proper time for such things, you rejected me and you abandoned me in a house of mourning, with relatives I barely know.”

Tears fell from her eyes, still fierce with anger, streaking down her cheeks.

“Rey –“ Ben unthinkingly reached a hand towards her. He longed to pull her forward – to apologize, to do whatever it took to dry her tears – but she shook her head and took a step back.

“No. I…I’m far too angry.” Her voice waivered as the anger began draining from her eyes, leaving disappointment and what looked like loneliness behind. She swiped at the tears on her cheeks, her face reddening. Ben understood only too well the embarrassment that came after anger-induced candor.

Shaking her head, she raised her chin and said, “I should like to be left alone for the time being.”

Ben’s heart cracked as he slowly nodded. “If that is what you wish.”

Rey swallowed, and then turned towards the door to her own room, scant feet from his, closing the door behind her. He stared at the door, replaying Rey’s words. He had thought his heart had been broken before, but the pain he had felt yesterday was nothing compared to the devastation left behind as he realized he may have completely alienated her.

Heading back into his room, he closed the door and walked towards his bed. Falling into it fully clothed, he pulled the covers over his head, completely blocking out the world.

The days passed slowly. As they were in mourning, Ben was limited in the activities he could do. He tried reading, but often found himself staring unseeing at his novel as Rey’s words continued to play on a loop in his head. He had taken to eating in his study rather than facing her, too ashamed of his actions and not wishing to see her looks of anger and disappointment.

They attended the funeral, but spoke little. The ride to the church was silent, and though they stood next to one another in the receiving line, neither uttered a word to the other. When he could, Ben took the opportunity to watch Rey. Women so rarely attended funerals. His own mother was absent in fact. It was considered dishonorable to cry at a funeral and so women often did not attend.

Rey, however, though her eyes were shining with unshed tears, held herself with the grace and aplomb of a women raised in the peerage. She looked every bit a duchess and Ben’s heart swelled with pride. She glanced at him, their gazes tangling, seeming surprised to find him watching her. Before either of them could speak, however, another mourner came to offer condolences and Ben was forced to ignore his desire to watch Rey.

Several days after the funeral, Edward was helping Ben dress, looking distracted. It wasn’t like Edward be distracted. Normally he was the very picture of neutrality, both in temperament and expression. Now, however, his eyes kept darting to Ben and then darting away just as quickly. He clearly had something he wished to say.  

When he could stand it no longer, Ben exhaled sharply. “Whatever it is you have to say, Edward, please get on with it.”

Edward’s eyes snapped up before he cleared his throat, holding out the jacket for Ben to shrug on.

“It would be an impertinence, sir.”

“Very well, I’ll consider myself warned. Get on with it.”

Edward swallowed, his eyes wide. “I would not wish to overstep.”

Ben laughed hollowly, buttoning his cuffs. “Clearly you have a comment on my marriage and the fact that you so wish to avoid speaking it only pique’s my curiosity. Now tell me what it is or I’ll have you dismissed.”

Edward regarded him for several more moments before speaking.

“I have been in your employ for many years now.” He swallowed before continuing. “As such I’ve had many years to observe the man you are.”

Ben paused in tying his shoes to look up at Edward, a frown on his face. He had never really considered that the man who acted as his valet would have been observing him, though in retrospect it did make sense. A valet would need to know his employer if he were to be effective at meeting his master’s needs.

“I have made it my job,” Edward continued, “to know your moods so that I can best serve you.”

He paused a moment, glancing at Ben nervously before he continued.

“I don’t know the particulars of your argument with the duchess, but I can see that it has upset you. Would it not be best to speak with her rather than avoid her?”

Ben clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes. Edward had not been lying when he claimed his words would be an impertinence. Ben very nearly spoke harshly before he recalled the look in Rey’s eyes when he had spoken harshly to her maid. So rather than giving into his desire to speak harsly, he turned back to tying his shoes. “Thank you, Edward, that’ll be all.”

Edward bowed and left the room quickly, leaving him to mull over his valet’s words.

Later that afternoon, Ben found himself standing in the doorway to the library, so far unnoticed by his wife within. His heart was in his throat, fear nearly causing him to turn on his heel and leave. Instead he took a breath, steeling his nerves and reminding himself that he had a plan. Before he lost his nerve, he cleared his throat.

Rey looked up, her eyes widening in surprise.

“I wonder if you might do me the honor of accompanying me on a picnic.” His voice came out deeper than usual, and he winced internally at the hesitancy in his tone.

Rey stared a moment – during which Ben’s heart raced and his throat tightened - before nodding her head. She started to set her book aside and then paused looking back at him, confusion written on her features.

“Aren’t we in mourning?”

Ben nodded. “We shan’t go off the grounds. The estate is rather large.”

She nodded in return, seeming uncomfortable and fidgeting as she walked towards him. He offered her his arm and after a moment’s hesitation, she accepted it, placing her hand in the crook of his elbow. She glanced towards him, but Ben kept his eyes forward as he led her out of the library, his heart hammering at having her so close.

When they walked outside and towards the two waiting horses, Rey looked at him in question.

“I thought we weren’t leaving the estate.”

Ben pressed his lips together, surprised to be fighting the sudden urge to smile. “I did say the estate was rather large.”

Rey looked back at the horses, her cheeks coloring. “I’m afraid I don’t know how to ride.”

Ben paused, dismayed to have forgotten such a detail, before clearing his throat. “No matter. You can ride with me.”

Rey’s eyes widened but she nodded. Ben grasped her hand, warmth traveling up his arm despite the fact that he was wearing gloves, and strode over to the horses. Once in front of the larger of the two, he hesitated a moment, swallowing before he turned abruptly and grasped Rey by the waist, lifting her onto the horse and swinging up behind her. Rey jumped as he wrapped an arm around her waist to hold her in place as they started forward.

It was difficult to concentrate with Rey pressed against his chest, her hair tickling his face, his lips near her ear. He resisted the urge to tug her closer, to turn his head and smell her hair, and held himself ramrod straight.

Ten very long minutes later, he stopped the horse underneath a willow tree next to a large pond. Swinging down, he reached up to grasp Rey by the waist once more. As he lowered her, she slid against his chest and his pulse quickened. She blinked rapidly, color blooming on her cheeks at the contact. Her gaze snagged with his, and it was all he could do not to kiss her then. The color on her cheeks and wisps of hair falling across her face, combined with the shyness of her eyes, made her endearingly irresistible.

Reminding himself that they still needed to have a conversation, he cleared his throat, removing his hands from her waist and walking over to the opposite side of the horse to unstrap the basket of food and attempt to reign in his thoughts and emotions. While he did so, Rey wandered to the edge of the pond. The branches of the willow blew in the slight breeze, brushing across the top of the water, creating ripples which disappeared as they headed towards the center. Ben paused to stare at Rey, a silhouette against the brightness of the water, feeling as if he were staring at a painting come to life.

He shook himself, walking purposefully over to the tree and shaking out a blanket. Rey turned towards him as he carefully set out the items for their luncheon. He glanced up, they gazes tangling once more. A wrinkle appeared between her brows as she looked at him, as if she were trying to solve a puzzle. It was he who broke the stare first, climbing to his feet and walking towards her. He offered his hand without word and she hesitantly grasped it. He had removed his gloves and the moment her skin touched his, he felt a more pronounced jolt run up his arm. He struggled to breathe normally as the warmth spread through his entire body.

As they sat before the simple fair of sandwiches, cheese, fruits, and wine, Rey looked at the spread, a thoughtful expression on her face.

He cleared his throat, gesturing towards the food. “Please.”

She nodded, grabbing a plate and filling it. They ate in awkward silence, both looking out at the branches of willow swinging in the breeze.

After several minutes, Ben set down his half-eaten plate, hands shaking. He had wanted to wait until they were finished eating, but could wait no longer.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve asked you here.”

Rey paused, a piece of fruit halfway to her mouth, before nodding and setting her plate on the ground. Ben took a deep breath, steeling his nerves against fear once more.

“I wanted to apologize for my behavior the day of Luke’s death,” he said.

Rey’s eyebrows rose and she opened her mouth to reply, but Ben held up a hand.

“Please – I…I have quite a lot I wish to say and I would beg you allow me to say it before you speak.”

Rey closed her mouth and nodded.

Ben flicked his gaze between her eyes, trying gauge her reaction thus far. Satisfied with what he saw, he dropped his eyes to the blanket.

“I have loved you from the moment you lifted your skirts in defiance that day by the stream.” He lifted his eyes, his heart in his throat at the look of complete astonishment on her face. “I knew there could be no other woman better suited for me than you. When I was ordered to marry, I met the news with disdain, but that moment by the stream breathed hope into my future. I attended my parents’ ball only to see you, to speak with you.”

He hesitantly reached a hand out to grab hold of hers. As he spoke, his voice soft, his thumb brushing the top of her hand. “When we danced, you took my breath away. I have never been known for my conversational skills, but being around you made every thought fly straight out of my head. With every word out of your mouth, I knew there could be no other for me but you.”

He looked away, looking over her shoulder. “Were I a decent man, I would have asked for your hand myself instead of going to your guardian first. That day by the stream, when he called to you, I wondered what situation you were in, whether you might have been in danger.” His anger flared at the memory, his grip on her hand tightening.

“I inquired around town as to the manner of your relationship with Mr. Plutt. When I learned of your situation, it became my greatest desire to save you from that life.” He looked at her once more. “It was why I demanded the wedding take place so quickly. In hindsight, I realize that only added to the scandal regarding our marriage, but I could not bear to let you stay in such a situation for a moment longer than absolutely necessary.”

He swallowed again, taking a deep breath before he continued. “Once we were married, I…I’m ashamed to say that I took the coward’s way out and avoided you. I always said the wrong thing, or did not speak when I should have. Your very presence made me quite nervous. The night of Lady Holdo’s ball, you took my very breath away.”

The smile that bloomed on Rey’s face lessened some of his anxiety, the tension between his shoulders easing as he continued. “When we met Captain Dameron, I am embarrassed to admit that I became quite jealous. That is why I forbade you from seeing him. I kissed you that night because I…I could not help it. I needed the reassurance that you were truly mine.”

Rey’s eyes widened at his admission. Ben leaned closer, reaching out to cup her cheek.

“Those weeks I was absent were the hardest of my life. I have never been so happy to return to the countryside as I was that day.”

His stroked his thumb across her cheek.

“Seeing you with Captain Dameron, I –“ He took a deep breath. “I overreacted. I let fear and jealousy overtake my common sense, did not consider that such accusations were a slight against your honor. And when you told me you wanted us to be friends, it was all I could do not to rage, because I want so much more than that.”

Rey placed her hand over his on her cheek. He inhaled shakily before continuing.

“Despite my own wishes on the matter, I was determined to uphold yours. When you kissed me that terrible day Luke died, I dared hope again of a future in which you returned my love. Had we been anywhere else, at any other time, I would have admitted my love right then.”

His lowered his voice, gazing intently at her, willing her to believe the truth of his words. “I have done everything wrong since the moment I met you, but I sincerely hope you can forgive me for all those wrongs, and especially for the way I left you that night.”

He stopped then, his heart hammering in his chest as he awaited her response.

“You love me?” she whispered.

Ben brushed his thumb across her lips, his eyes trailing the movement. “I love you very much, I’m afraid.”

Rey inhaled sharply and then shakily exhaled, swallowing as she moved her hand to grasp Ben’s wrist, pulling his hand from her face. Disappointment crashed through him and the corners of Rey’s mouth turned upwards as she leaned forward, catching him completely by surprise when she pressed her lips to his.

Pulling back before he could return her kiss, Rey whispered, “Despite all the wrong words and deeds, you have somehow managed to ensnare my heart, sir.”

Ben pulled back, his eyes roaming over her face, looking for any signs that she was speaking in jest. Rey picked up his hand again, placing it over her heart. Time seemed to pause as they looked at one another. Ben held his breath at the furious pace of her heart. She looked at him, her eyes shining and her voice wavering as she spoke.

“All is forgiven and my heart is yours.”

Ben looked at her with a mixture of love and disbelief, hardly believing his ears.

He wasn’t sure which one of them moved first, but they both surged forward, pressing their lips together. Rey wrapped her arms around his neck as he placed one hand on her waist and the other in her hair, pulling her onto is lap. He deepened the kiss, reaching up and pulling pins out of Rey’s hair, so that it spilled down her back. He tilted his head to the side, to fit their mouths together better, combing his fingers through her hair. She ran her own hands through his hair, her nails scraping against the back of his neck. Ben gripped her waist tighter, pulling her closer before placing his hands on either side of her jaw, holding her steady as he continued pouring his love into her.

They remained this way for quite some time, Ben’s mind replaying her admission of love on a loop – hardly believing it was not a dream – before Rey pulled back. They both breathed heavily, staring into each other’s eyes.

“I have one question,” Rey whispered as his thumbs brushed over her jaw.

Ben nodded his head.

Her face flushed prettily.

“Our wedding night…Why…” she cleared her throat. “If you’ve loved me for so long, why did you not seek to consummate our marriage that night?”

Ben didn’t answer right away, pulling back further, his eyes searching hers for her feelings that night. Ben remembered it well, the look of utter terror on her face having haunted his dreams.

“I could hardly force myself on someone as terrified as you were that night.”

Ben spoke softly and Rey’s eyes flicked back up at his admission.

“It did not escape my notice that you were terrified from the moment I saw you at the church. Your hand shook in mine throughout the reception. When you spoke at your door and I turned, I could see the panic in your eyes. What kind of man would I have been had I forced myself upon you?”

Rey cupped his cheek and his heart leaped. “I have never been more ashamed of my presumptions and misjudgments.”

Ben leaned forward to kiss her again, too overcome for words. It seemed impossible that Rey returned his love, that she felt she had misjudged him. He didn’t know that he’d ever been so happy in his life. His wife was lovely in both body and soul. Though he doubted a more beautiful woman existed, he was certain that had she been unsightly, he would still have loved her. Her heart, her goodness, the way she cared for those around her added to her beauty. He again marveled at how her very presence made him want to be a better man. Rey’s kisses were sweet, her love radiating off of her. His heart ached, though the ache was of a heart full to bursting rather than the emptiness he had been suffering since that last day at the Skywalker estate.

This time it was Ben who pulled back, leaning his forehead on hers for a moment before wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug. She leaned her head against his chest, neither speaking. Without letting her go, Ben laid back, tucking her to his side, her head on his chest as he ran his fingers through her hair once more. They lay that way – Ben feeling as though he could spend the rest of his life with Rey in his arms – watching the willow branches blow, until the sun started to descend below the horizon. Only then did Ben shift, kissing Rey’s hair before reluctantly letting her go.

“We had best start back before it gets dark.”

Rey nodded, ducking her head shyly when he held a hand out to help her up. She offered to help clean up the picnic, but he shushed her and quickly threw everything back into the basket, folding the blanket and placing it on top.

He turned, reaching for her hand, needing the contact as they walked towards the horse that had been happily grazing the past few hours. After strapping the basket back onto the saddle, he grabbed Rey by the waist again, hoisting her up onto the horse.

Once again, she was pressed against his chest, his arm around her waist, but unlike the ride there, she leaned into the embrace and he kept his chin on her shoulder, turning his head every so often to kiss her on the cheek.

When they rode up to the door, servants ran forward to take the horse and basket away as Ben helped Rey down. They entered the house, Mr. Mitaka informing them that dinner was waiting for them. They both decided they were famished and headed towards the dining room, forgoing changing into their dinner wear. Ben hid a smile as he thought of the looks of horror should any of the peerage find they ate dinner without properly attiring themselves.

Rather than sitting across from one another, Ben sat right next to Rey, wanting to stay close to her. They remained quiet as they ate, but the silence was not awkward or tense. Instead it felt pleasant, the corners of Rey’s mouth turning up every time his gaze tangled with hers and he found himself eagerly returning her smile.

After dinner they retired to the drawing room but, after Rey yawned several times, Ben insisted he escort her to her room, once more grabbing her hand. They walked up the stairs and down the hallway, stopping in front of the door to Rey’s room.

Ben swallowed at the look of longing in Rey’s eyes. Before he did something rash, he leaned down to brushed his lips across hers.

He pulled back, heat searing through him, and said softly, “I bid you sleep well.”

He turned to walk away but Rey squeezed his hand, not letting it go. When he turned back, nonplussed, Rey simply said, “Stay?”

Ben’s eyes widened as he paused, struck dumb by her request and all that it implied. Slowly, he cupped both hands around Rey’s face, watching her intently as he lowered his lips towards hers, waiting for her to change his mind or to tell him that he had misunderstood. When their lips finally met, however, he felt his discipline snap and crushed Rey to him. She eagerly wrapped her arms around him as he walked her backwards into the room, shutting the door behind them with his foot.

Chapter Text

Chapter 18

Ben stared down at Rey, still asleep, his heart full to bursting. As she had before, Rey had turned and snuggled into his chest in her sleep. Ben had awoken to find her hands tucked to her chest and her head under his chin. His own arms were wrapped around her shoulders, hugging her to him.

Kissing the top of her head, Ben tucked her head back under his chin and looked out the window. The sun began peeking over the horizon, sending beams of light into the room. He played and replayed the events of the last twenty-four hours in his head, still not quite able to believe that things had turned out in his favor.

Rey began stirring and Ben pulled back to look down at her once more. He couldn’t keep the corners of his mouth from turning up as her eyes cracked open. She blushed prettily, returning his smile as he fought to keep his own smile from turning wolfish. To distract himself, he tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear.

“I trust you slept well?” he asked, his voice just above a whisper.

Rey nodded, a touch of vulnerability in her eyes making Ben’s heart squeeze. Things had changed so quickly between them that it felt a bit as if their relationship danced on the edge of a knife. Rey pushed herself up and pressed her lips to his, catching him off guard.

“I slept very well,” she said. “I trust you are well rested as well, sir?”

Ben’s struggled to keep his expression neutral, to hide his amusement, as he said, “No. I’m afraid I slept rather poorly.”

Rey pulled back, her eyebrows jumping into her hair. “Poorly?”

Ben nodded solemnly, all trace of amusement leaving as he ran a hand through her hair. “I rather felt as if everything was but a dream and upon wakening, I would find myself alone once more.”

Sitting up, Rey grabbed his hand and kissed his knuckles.

“I have no doubt that there will be many occasions in the future in which we quarrel and I banish you from my bed,” she smiled as she spoke, “but rest assured that it is not this day. I am very much here and very much in love with you.”

Ben stared at her a moment, still hardly daring to believe he had managed to be fortunate enough to have his love returned. Seeing nothing but love shining from Rey’s eyes, he curled his other hand around her nape and pulled her into a passionate kiss.

Later, Rey stood at the window, hugging herself as she looked out at the grounds below. Ben stood several steps away, watching her. Neither of their servants had disturbed them, which meant they were likely in the know as to what had happened between himself and Rey. A corner of his mouth turned down at the thought of having his private affairs so easily monitored, but when one was Duke in a house filled with servants, there was precious little privacy. He supposed he couldn’t fault either the lady’s maid or valet from watching them closely, as their job depended on knowing their employer’s every mood.

Ben finished walking to Rey, placing his hands on both of her shoulders and pulling her back against him. She sighed happily as they both stood, looking out at the landscape before them. It seemed hardly possible that they had only been married for several months. It had not yet been five months since he was ordered to marry and yet here he found himself in wedded bliss, the happiest he had been in his life.

Breaking the silence, Rey turned to look up at him.

“I would like to ask Mr. Smith if he would be willing to act as manager of my charity store.”

Ben looked down at her, feeling slightly dazed by her beauty. Though he had always found her beautiful, seeing her so unkempt, love shining in her eyes, made her breathtaking.

Rey pressed her lips together. “Sir? Did you hear me?”

Ben blinked rapidly, his ears heating at having been caught daydreaming. “I’m afraid I rather lost myself.” He cleared his throat. “I believe you said you would like Mr. Smith as manager?”

Rey nodded. “I know he has been educated, so he is able to keep numbers for me, and I believe he would be grateful for the employment. His salary there would allow Rose and him to live comfortably when they start a family. And since they would still be in our employ, they could remain living in their current cottage, provided their family does not grow too quickly. Rose was the first and only lady in the town to entreat my friendship, despite all the rumors and scandal surrounding my history. As well, she has been a dear friend to me. I should like to repay their kindness.”

Ben bent down to place a kiss on her forehead. “If that is what you think best, then by all means. I’d certainly prefer you work with someone we both know rather than hiring someone off the street.”

Rey smiled fully then. “It’s settled then.”

The corners of his mouth curved upwards, happy to have made her happy. He wondered how long it would be before he stopped being amazed that she had returned his affections, that he had been so fortunate. She turned around fully, reaching a hand up to cup his cheek, standing on tiptoe, and pressing her lips against his. When she pulled away, he blinked rapidly at her, once more caught off guard by her affection.

“Where do you keep going to?” she asked, looking between both his eyes.

Ben took a deep breath and then sighed. “I am trying to discern how I was fortunate enough to ever have my love returned.”

Rey’s eyes grew sad. She grabbed his hand and kissed his knuckle.

“You deserve love,” she said, watching as he pressed his lips together, his throat tightening. She kissed another knuckle. “Everyone deserves to have their love returned.” She looked at him solemnly. “You deserve a wife who does not constantly assume your intentions are bad.”

Ben swallowed thickly as Rey pressed his hand against her cheek, covering it with her hand. “We both deserve to be happy.”

The moment hung between them as they stared at one another. Rey’s eyes held remorse and affection and Ben hoped his conveyed the same. Though he still felt as if he might wake at any moment to find the past day had been naught but a dream, he hoped with time they would both come to trust the other with their heart.

Ben spoke, his voice low. “I promise that I will, to the best of my ability, never take for granted what you have given me. Your heart will be safe with me.”

Rey’s breath caught. “And yours will be safe with me. I promise.”

The moment broke as Ben, overcome, crushed his mouth to hers.

As they descended the stairs towards the dining room to eat a very late breakfast, Rey had her hand tucked securely in Ben’s arm, his hand covering hers. Ben saw servants glancing at them, hiding smiles, and he looked at Rey. She was biting her lip, looking insecure to be the subject of gossip. He would need to have a word with Mrs. Phasma about the decorum of her staff.

They sat next to one another, Ben buttering his toast as Rey added cream and sugar to her tea.

“My parents are going to dine with us this evening,” he said.

Rey paused in stirring her cup. “They are?” She searched his face, likely trying to discern his feelings on the matter. “It shall be nice to see them under better circumstances,” she said, carefully.

Ben hoped she would agree with his plans. “I plan to give them the Skywalker estate.”

Her eyebrows rose. “Are you? Can you do that?”

He set his knife down, taking a bite of the toast, marveling at how at peace he felt. “Not officially. And even were I to do so, the home would default back to myself upon my father’s death. Nor, do they have the means to purchase the estate outright. However, I have no wish to live there and I do not wish for them to reside with us here. Instead I will rent it to them for a modest price.”

Rey pressed her lips together, her eyes shining with mirth. “You plan to charge your parents rent?”

Ben shrugged, knowing how absurd it sounded, but also knowing his mother. “It won’t be much. The estate makes a fair wage on its own, so I have no real need for a high rent. My mother will not accept the charity if I suggest they live there for free.”

Rey frowned. “Is that not what they have been doing thus far?”

He shook his head. “My mother insisted on paying rent to my uncle.”

She chewed her lip. “I see.”

Ben set his toast back down and turned towards her. “I am telling you this now because I am hoping you will agree with me.” He watched her closely. “If you would prefer to live at the Skywalker estate, however, I would agree to it.” Though he had precious few happy memories there, if Rey preferred it, he would live there.

Rey considered the offer.

“I think,” she said slowly, “that I prefer to live here.” She smiled as Ben exhaled in relief. “Despite how overwhelming it was at first, I’ve recently realized I’ve come to think of this enormous house as my home.”

“I am glad to hear it,” he replied.

Rey smiled widely at him and the corners of his lips turned up in response. After several moments, they returned to their breakfast, eating in companionable silence.

That evening, after supper, his mother and father joined Ben and Rey in the drawing room. Ben and Han were playing a game of chess, something they had not done since Ben’s youth. Rey and Leia sat on the other side of the room, sipping at tea and conversing softly.

“You look happy for someone in mourning,” Han said, moving his bishop.

Ben narrowly avoided rolling his eyes, another thing he hadn’t done since youth. “I am happy,” he said, moving his rook.

They played several moves in silence, Ben’s concentration split as he tried to eavesdrop on his mother and Rey’s conversation, costing him several pieces.

“You keep her happy.”

Ben’s eyes snapped up from contemplating his next move at the sternness in his father’s tone. Han was looking at him with a rather severe expression.

“I intend to, I assure you,” he said simply.

Han narrowed his eyes before he nodded his head once, sharply, returning to contemplating the board. Ben frowned at his father, bemused by the man’s severity. It would seem that Ben is not the only one on whom Rey had made an impression. His lips curved up at the thought and he returned to trying to salvage his game.

“Your mother will be expecting grandchildren.”

Ben huffed a laugh, moving his queen. “Yes, I expect so.”

The corner of Han’s mouth lifted and, in a rare show of comradery between them, he winked.

After his parents left for the evening, Ben escorted Rey up the stairs to her room once more. As they passed by his door, Rey wondered aloud, “Are we to keep separate bedrooms going forward?”

Ben glanced at her as he led her to the settee by the window, trying to gauge her feelings on the matter. In truth, he had no plans to return to sleeping alone.

“Would you prefer it?” he asked, sitting next to her, his arm around her shoulders, tucking her into his side. Rey closed her eyes, inhaling deeply.

“I had not thought much of it, truth be told.” Rey opened her eyes and tilted her head up, looking at him through her lashes. “I would certainly not be opposed to sharing my bed with you,” she said.

Ben brushed his lips against hers, relief coursing through him. “Nor I.” Leaning back he continued, “It is common for married couples in the peerage to keep separate bedrooms. Perhaps we could officially keep separate bedrooms, but sleep in the same bed every night?”

Rey smiled, her eyes brightening. “I would like that very much.”

“Then it’s settled,” he said.

Rey leaned closer, resting her head on his chest as they both sat quietly, Ben happy to simply hold her in his arms.

“Ben?” Rey asked, a slight catch in her voice. “Your mother asked me when she could expect a family.”

Ben tensed at the trepidation in her voice, his fingers digging into her arm as he prepared himself for the possibility that she did not want a large family as he did.

“How did you respond?” he asked, keeping his voice carefully neutral.

“I told her we had not discussed the issue.” Rey began fidgeting, wringing her hands together. “I-I know that you will require an heir, of course.”

Ben lifted his arm from her shoulders, leaning back and studying her, unable to determine the cause for her fidgeting. Did it mean she was hesitant to have children with him or that she wanted many as he did?

 “Yes, that’s true,” he said. After a prolonged moment of silence, during which he continued contemplating the cause for her trepidation, he said, “You are still young.”

Rey nodded, her eyes lowered. “Yes.”

Another prolonged moment of silence passed before Ben reached over, placing his finger under her chin and tilting her head up.

Before he could speak, however, Rey blurted, “Do you wish for a large family?”

Ben blinked, her frantic tone catching him off guard. Rey’s cheeks reddened and she cleared her throat before she continued speaking. “I-it was only me. I spent a rather large part of my childhood dreaming of having my parents back, of having brothers and sisters.” She paused, but Ben was too caught up in the fact that Rey wanted a large family as he did to respond before she said, “I don’t know if you felt the same, but I would rather enjoy having a large family, to fill this enormous house with the sound of laughing children.”

He stared at her, completely overcome. When his happiness felt as though it would burst from his chest, he smiled. Rey blinked at him as his lips nearly cracked with how widely he smiled.

“I share your sentiments.” He cupped her face, gazing down at her. “I do not want you to feel obligated to provide me with many children, but I can think of nothing I’d love more than to have a large family.” His smile dropped. “I never want a child of ours to suffer the same loneliness we both felt. To never feel the harsh sting of rejection from his parents.”

Rey placed her hand over his. “We’ll make sure it never happens.”

Ben brushed his thumb along Rey’s cheek as they beamed at one another.

“I hope to show you every day how much I love you,” Ben said. “I never want you to feel unwanted or unloved.” He willed her to understand. “Never doubt my affections for you.”

The corner of Rey’s mouth curved upwards as she nodded. “I promise. I will never doubt your affections provided you never doubt mine.”

Ben leaned closer, shaking his head as he leaned closer to her, a sudden need to kiss her overtaking him. “I will never doubt your affections.” He brushed his thumb against her lips, his face mere inches from hers.

“Then we will remain happy all of our days,” Rey whispered.

Ben nodded slightly, his lips brushing against hers. “We will remain happy.”

Rey smiled against his lips as he pressed them more firmly against hers.

They would be happy. Ben would make sure of it.

The End