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10 p.m. It’s silent. Coming out on the streets feels like entering an actual ghost town. It's empty. And it's dark, silent and cold.
It's also the middle of January. It's a point in time where everyone would be off to bed by now. It’s when people are sheltered from the cold winter in their best way possible, tucked under layers of blankets and duvets. But not for Jongdae. He doesn't mind this. He appreciates the emptiness on the streets as he walks down on one of them right now.
His hands are searching for some type of warmth in the depths of his pockets. It’s almost like he’ll end up digging out heat if he presses them deep enough. His coat comes with a hood, so he's wearing it down as well, over the beanie that’s softly hugging-in his hair.
He doesn't complain about his freezing toes either. The way he can’t feel them as the gruesome coldness sinks its teeth in them. There is no time to think about that at this moment, not when his mind is flowing with images of smooth skin, dark hair and soft pink lips.
It's 10:30 by the time he reaches just one of the hills that surround the east end of the little town. He hikes up for a couple of minutes more, barely seeing anything as the town’s street lights now go further and further away behind him, and the winter fog dims them out of view. He stops his steps and looks around the bigger trees ahead of him. They’re almost entirely naked; a couple of leaves here and there, contrast in their appearance in the summer that visits the town.
A little breeze of cold air tickles the front of his neck. He gulps before taking in some air and blowing out a plain whistle.
Nothing happens for a couple of seconds – and then Jongdae sees it. A short flicker of a flashlight in the middle of one of the tree branches. After glancing around, Jongdae quickly runs off to that particular tree. Standing under it, he looks up. “You there?” – He asks quietly, although he already knows the answer.
The light appears again followed by a small chuckle, only this time he sees the owner’s face. He sees his toothy smile and his dark orbs filled with joy under the shadows cast by the light in his face. “I'm here.” – He replies in a whisper. It’s Baekhyun. He keeps the light on so the other can see his way.
Jongdae climbs the tree carefully, following the lead of light on each branch until he’s sitting next to another body. In mere seconds he presses his lips onto Baekhyun’s cold ones just as the latter shuts off the flashlight.
It’s comforting. It makes Jongdae dizzy and he feels like he’s floating on a cloud miles up in the sky. He uses his hands, one to grab a steady branch for support, and the other one to hold Baekhyun by the back of his head. The action deepens their kiss and Jongdae almost forgets to breathe, taking in the other’s scent, filling his lungs with it.
He breathes out through his mouth once they part their lips, Baekhyun’s own forming a little grin. Jongdae can’t see it, he can only feel it when he leans in again just two seconds later, when he claims his lips once more.
They’re kissing, and Jongdae doesn’t want it to end. It’s been days since the last time they were able to do this.
He tilts his head to the side, hand sliding down from Baekhyun’s hair to his nape. His cold hand brings goose bumps to the skin there and he feels the other flinching slightly from the chills that ran down his spine. He feels Baekhyun’s hand grab his forearm, then the side of his face. He’s holding it gently, thumb caressing over his cheekbone. It’s is all too much and too little for him at the same time. His heart beats at a faster pace and he wonders if Baekhyun can feel his pulse under the fingertips on his neck.
They break the kiss and Baekhyun pants a little, letting out a small chuckle before he presses his face in Jongdae’s shoulder, his legs now dangling on each side of the branch they’re sitting on.
Jongdae wraps his arms around him. He rests his chin on top of the other’s head and closes his eyes. He feels the cold on his cheeks, reminding him where he is. It makes him imagine, just for a second, what it would be like to kiss Baekhyun just like he did now, but inside a nice home, in a warm bed where they can fall asleep to the most pleasant dreams together.
He knows that’s what Baekhyun is thinking of right now, too. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way.” – Baekhyun mumbled. It’s like he can hear his thoughts. “I wish I could kiss you anytime I want, anywhere I want.” – He added and pulled away from the hug so he can press their foreheads together.
It hurts Jongdae. It pains him to hear the sadness in Baekhyun’s voice. It’s a something that constantly lingers inside Baekhyun’s head. It’s a topic he brings up often. Jongdae’s never the one to do it. He doesn’t want to talk about it, or even think about it for too long, he doesn’t want to imagine or wish or hope it could be different. Because he knows it won’t change anything, and it only makes him feel sadder than before.
“Me too, Baekhyun” – He whispers, tilts his head to the side and kisses him softly in comfort once. “But believe me, I would rather have you in the shadows than not have you at all.” – He adds, and it seems that it makes Baekhyun feel a bit better. He can hear a giggle escape from his throat and it makes Jongdae’s heart flutter.
A strong wind blows and it has Baekhyun’s hair fly in his eyes. He’s combing it back with his fingers when Jongdae pulls his hood down. “Here.” – He mutters quietly and removes his warm beanie before carefully putting it on Baekhyun’s head. The latter is quick to protest but Jongdae’s even quicker to steal a kiss in order to shush him. “I don’t need it. Besides, it’s an excuse for you to stop by at the bookshop tomorrow.” – Jongdae says, tucking in some of the hair on his forehead. He pats his cheeks gently and then gives his nose a little kiss. “There, that’ll keep you warm, and your hair in place.” – He adds just as winds start blowing again.
“What if I wanted to stop by to grab a book instead?” – Baekhyun jokes, a playful tone in his voice. The entire statement makes Jongdae laugh. “You hate reading.” – He points out just as he pulls him in for a tight hug, pressing Baekhyun’s head in his chest. Baekhyun never bought or had any particular interest in a book from Jongdae’s family bookshop.
“Maybe tomorrow I’ll wake up with a sudden desire to read books.” – Baekhyun says, voice coming out muffled. He tilts his head to the side. “I might get that nerd virus you carry.” – He adds then. This time, Jongdae snorts and pulls him away a bit so he can kiss him on the lips. They part and Baekhyun runs his fingers through Jongdae’s hair before putting back on the hood of his coat. “Maybe.” – Jongdae shrugs. “Or maybe you’ll remain the same Baekhyun that comes there just to see me.” – He says with a teasing smile and it makes Baekhyun grin and look down shyly. The feeling of content fills Jongdae for a couple of moments, and the two of them sit in a comfortable silence. It’s so different here, every time they’re alone like this, away from the reality they live in.
Baekhyun’s suddenly nuzzling in his jawline, rubbing their cheeks together and it makes Jongdae want to grab Baekhyun’s hand and take him home with. Have him for at least one night before he faces the harsh consequences their world would give them. He closes his eyes and responds to the gentle touches. Then, he hears Baekhyun sigh and pull away.
“I have to go now.” – He states and Jongdae can only let out a hum in agreement while Baekhyun reaches for the flashlight that’s dangling on the side. He turns it on and shines down. It’s like the real world just came back to him the moment the ground underneath them lit. The awareness that he has to go back to it came upon him as well.
They turn their faces towards each other and Jongdae plants a little kiss on his forehead, lowering his face so he can give him one on his lips as well, before slowly climbing down and jumping to the ground.
“Get home safe. See you tomorrow” – He tells him, looking up at him. Baekhyun gives him a little grin, and then the light turns off.
The road back is silent as well; this time accompanied by the cold wind. Jongdae clenches his jaw in resistance to it. The tingles on his lips still remain, trying to fight off the breeze that’s attacking them. His lover’s smile, beautiful and charming, stays clear behind his eyelids as he rushes down the sidewalk, eager to reach the warmth of his home.
He’s missing him already, just like any other time they’ve done this. Looking at things from a positive aspect does make it a whole lot easier. He tries to think of that on the way back, of how Baekhyun makes his stomach flip and gives him a beating heart and he’s almost running now, bouncing to the rhythm it creates.
A smile appears on his lips, he is a bit dizzy, out of breath and so in love. It’s usually dark with Baekhyun, but he doesn’t think he’d exchange what they have for any ray of sunshine. He’s used to it all. Their world may be dark, but it’s all theirs to have.