Chapter Text
Don’t go to WEFIDS. They wrote that on travel brochures. They said that in the news. It was the first thing anyone would say when the star system was mentioned in conversation.
“So what did we do?” Jka grumbled. “We went to WEFIDS.”
Next to her, Ilki rolled her eyes. “It’s not my fault. The calibrations were off.”
“Yeah, your custom calibrations that you made were off. And now we’re stuck in a freaking warzone because you think you’re smarter than the flight computer!”
"Look, it just didn’t look right to me, okay?”
“And smack bang in the middle of WEFIDS looked right to you?”
“I-! I’m usually good at math, okay? And the flight computer is a little janky-“
“How can it be janky? It’s an AI, not that old cabinet your mother keeps trying to push on us.”
“Okay, Jka, fine! You’re right, and I won’t do it again!” She gripped the controls. “Let’s just focus on getting out of here, okay? We need more interstellar fuel.”
“Hmph.” Jka crossed her arms. “I bet fuel prices around here are insane.”
“I’ll pay for it.”
“Oh, yes. Yes you will.”
The two of them drifted forwards on what remained in their tanks. Every second they could hear the tap-tap-tap of little pieces of debris against the cockpit. Jka wondered what it was from; a second later, they passed the crumpled husk of a ship, a great hole shredded in its side.
Her eyes widened, and she turned to Ilki. “Where are you going, exactly?”
“Just to the battleship.” She pointed ahead at a great red ship. “Don’t worry, we’ll get out of here.”
“What? I’m not worried.” She linked hands with Ilki. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”
“Oh, of course.”
The two of them looked at each other, and burst into giggles.
“No really though, this is creepy as hell.”
“Yeah, it is.” Ilki made a face. “Sorry I got us into this mess.”
“It’s fine, let’s just get out of here. Are we close enough to the battleship?”
“Looks like it.”
“Cool.” She picked up the communicator. “And hey, next time you mess with the coordinates, can you send us somewhere better than WEFIDS? The middle of a star, for example.”
Ilki tried to contain her laughter as Jka spoke into the communicator.
“Hello, this is United Life Spacecraft Fantastica approaching you from the starboard. Requesting permission to dock.”
Almost immediately, there was a response. “Registration.”
Jka pressed a button. “Submitted.”
They waited as the man on the other end checked their papers. After a shorter time than either of them felt was enough to check registration, the reply came in, short and snappy. “Permission denied.”
Ilki blinked. “Wait, permission denied?”
“Requesting reason?”
“By decree of Excecutive Order 1959, all United Life military vessels are off limits to civilian crafts. Do not attempt to approach, or you will be neutralized.”
“Wha- what?” Ilki took the communicator. “I’m sorry, but we’re kind of in trouble here. We don’t have enough fuel to leave the system!”
“For information on evacuation, please contact the relief efforts on your current planet of residence.”
“But we don’t live here!”
“Excecutive Order 1959 forbids you to dock here. No exceptions.”
Then the line cut out, leaving Jka and Ilki almost slackjawed with astonishment on the other end. Jka spoke first.
“Well… the UL back home was certainly a bit more friendly than those bozos. What jerks, right? Right, Ilki?”
Ilki put her face in her hands. “Oh, my stars. This is all my fault. What do we do?”
“It’s fine, Ilki.” Jka took the controls and gently steered them away from the battleship. “We’ll find some other place to get fuel. We don’t need those guys.”
“Where?”
“Well…” she spotted a ship, small and tattered, floating out in space. Their engines were off but life signatures steadily pulsed on her screen. “How about these guys? Maybe they have some to spare.”
Ilki looked up. “Who, them?”
“Yeah! Wouldn’t hurt to ask.”
The ship evidently seemed to notice their approach. Their impulse engines fired, quickly steering them so their cockpits were facing each other. A bit of an unusual position, Ilki thought. She frowned.
“Hey, I don’t know about this.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Something seems… off. I don’t know. I’ve got a bad feeling.”
She rolled her eyes. “Ilki, no offense, but the last time you went out on a feeling-“
“I know, I know. We ended up here. But seriously, I don’t like this.”
The interface beeped. “They’re hailing us.”
“Okay? Are you… gonna answer?”
“I thought you didn’t want me to answer.”
“That wasn’t what I said, I’m just saying-“ Ilki stopped herself, and took a deep breath. “Look, we’re going in circles. Just do what you want.”
“I’m not trying to dismiss you, Ilki. I was just pointing out-“
“Just do what you want.”
“Oh, okay then. Thanks for your input.” Jka shot her a glare as she picked up the communicator. “United Life Spacecraft Fantastica. Who are we speaking to?”
The line crackled. A strange buzz in the background set Jka’s teeth on edge; it sounded like their communicator was on the blink. When the other ship spoke, their voice was distorted, and strangely… childlike.
“That’s a nice name you got there! Fantastica. Wish I could say the same for the ship!”
Jka raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”
“Hey, cool your jets. Just joking with you. So,” The line let out a whine as she continued. “What’s the not-so-fantastic Fantastica doing all the way out here?”
Ilki made a face. “How old is she?”
“How old are you?”
“Jka!”
“What?”
“Why would you ask that?”
“You asked me!”
“I was thinking out loud!”
A laugh came from the other ship. “You guys are silly. I’m seven.”
“Seven?” Jka widened her eyes at Ilki. “You’re… very mature for your age!”
“I’ve had to be.”
“Where are your parents?”
“I dunno. They went to fight in the war and they… never came back.”
“Oh, you poor thing!”
“It’s okay. I sell things now. Lots of things. Would you like to take a look?”
“Oh… are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yup! I make bank!”
She suppressed a smile; despite the tragedy, that was a very funny thing to come out of a seven year old’s mouth. “Oh, okay. Well, we’re looking for something very specific. Do you have any interstellar fuel?”
The answer came immediately. “Yes, we do! Come over and dock, I sell it cheap!”
“That’s wonderful! I’ll just-”
“Wait.” Ilki put a hand on her shoulder. “How much is she selling it for?”
Jka muted the communicator. “Are you seriously gonna make me haggle with a seven year old? What is wrong with you?”
“Well, I- nevermind. Do what you want.”
“Are you guys docking or what?” The voice on the end of the line sounded a little strained. “You won’t find a better deal anywhere in WEFIDS!”
“Don’t worry, we’re coming now.” She steered the ship forwards. “Where should I dock?”
“Just a little closer,” Said the voice on the end of the line. “We’ll show you.”
They pulsed forwards, closer to the ship. It still hadn’t turned around.
“A little closer…”
All of a sudden, a warning popped up on their interface. The other ship had activated its engines – full power. They were on a collision course.
“Uh?” Jka tapped the screen. “What’s going on? Hello?”
“Hello!” Chirped the voice on the end of the line.
“Your engines activated.” She watched the ship start to pick up speed. She threw the thrusters in reverse, but the warning remained. “You gotta shut them off – we can’t move away in time!”
The voice began to laugh, and old dread trickled down Jka’s spine. She looked over at Ilki, whose face was rapidly draining of colour. Ilki reached over and snatched the communicator.
“This is not a joke! We’re both gonna die if you plow into us, so cut the bloody engines! Cut the-“
With a loud boom, the ship collided with their cockpit, blocking the view entirely. Warnings flashed across the screen – collision detected, glass integrity compromised, hull damage sustained.
“What the- what the hell?” Ilki shouted. “Why did you do that?”
“Because you guys just got tricked! Haha! Another one down for the dread pirate Martha!”
“What? Tricked? What the hell do you-“
Then the line went dead.
Jka reached over and linked hands with Ilki. In the smallest voice, she said, “How screwed are we?”
“Probably a lot?”
“Yeah, probably. I never knew seven year olds could be pirates.”
“They make pretty good ones, apparently.”
Jka nodded. Then: “I love you.”
“I love you too. I’m sorry I got us into this mess.”
“No, this is my fault. I should have listened to-“
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
“What the-“ Ilki covered her ears at the terrible buzzing, and glanced at the interface. “Glass frature? What’s going on?”
They looked up, and saw something shining in the middle of the cockpit. A circle, with fractures webbed around it, slowly stretching out.
Jka suddenly remembered the ship with the hole in its side. “Oh my stars, Ilki. It’s a drill. They’re drilling.”
“A drill?”
“It’s a drill.”
The red lights of so many warnings shone in Ilki’s wide eyes. She stared back, frozen. What were they going to do?
What could they do?
“Aaaaand- there we go!” Martha watched as the Fantastica’s glass shattered, sending a familiar shudder through their ship as the air rushed into space. She looked up at her father with a grin. “How’d I do?”
He said nothing for a while, looking down at her with an impassive stare. Then he reached down and patted her back, and Martha beamed.
"We need to strip the ship now." He said, and began to walk away. "Come on."
And far away in the mindscape, Alcor thought to check in on the latest Mizar. She was happy, he found.
No reason for him to interfere, then. He’d only mess that up.