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The sun sets in the horizon as you and Ichimatsu walk together, casting an orange hue on the streets and buildings below. He hasn't said much, opting for silence while you struggle to find something to say. Even your little coffee shop date today was mostly quiet. Smiling and blushing at each other while sipping coffee was nice and all, but Ichimatsu had barely said a word. Nothing about his day, or his brothers, or anything really.
The radio silence gives you an anxious feeling in the pit of your stomach as you glance over to Ichimatsu, who doesn't meet your gaze. His tired eyes are fixed on the pavement, focused on dragging one foot in front of the other.
Come to think of it, Ichimatsu wasn't one for physical contact either. If you were lucky, you got to hold his hand or hug him. But most dates are filled with awkward glances, occasional banter adding life to the outings.
Although, it doesn't help that you don't always have something to say either.
“Hey.” Ichimatsu interrupts your train of thought as the two of you wait in front of a busy road.
“Y-yes, Ichi?” You try to mask your inner thoughts with a smile as you look over to him.
He avoids eye contact with you, finally speaking after what feels like eons.
“Did you… want to do something after this?”
The cars in front of you stop, allowing both of you to cross to the other side of the street. Ichimatsu’s lack of elaboration after seconds of silence prompts you to speak up.
“Did you have something in mind?” You ask as you look over to him, voice faltering amid the bustling noise of the city.
“Not really,” Ichimatsu says with a sigh. “Do you?”
Several ideas come to mind, but one stands out in particular. Ichimatsu wasn’t the best at voicing his feelings, that much was obvious. But maybe he'd feel more comfortable around you if invited him to your apartment?
You had never invited him over, mostly out of fear of rejection. But now seemed better than ever. With a determined spirit, you turn to Ichimatsu and tell him your plan.
“Well, I was hoping you could come to my apartment for a bit.”
Ichimatsu’s head jerks up to meet your gaze, eyes wide and mouth parted in a gasp.
“I guess that’s fine,” he murmurs, cheeks tinged pink. “I don't think I deserve anything like that, though…”
You offer him a smile and run your hand through his hair. He flinches from the initial contact, but soon melts into the touch.
“Don't be silly.” Your hand reaches down to stroke his cheek in a sudden act of boldness. “You only deserve the best, Ichi.”
By the time you reach your apartment, the sun has nearly set, leaving the moon behind to shine it's gentle light. Ichimatsu hasn't said too much since then, much to your discomfort. Worried that he might be uncomfortable, you talk to relax his nerves.
And by extension, your own.
“M-my place is a bit messy,” you stammer as you open the door to your apartment. “But feel free to make yourself at home.”
Ichimatsu only nods as you motion him inside, shutting the door behind you. Heat hits your body like a wave and melts away the chill from outside, much to your relief. Choosing not to wear a jacket for the date was a mistake you wouldn’t be making anytime soon.
“I bought some snacks the other day if you’re hungry.” You gesture towards the kitchen, piles of candy and crackers strewn across the counter. “I’m not sure what all you like but I hope something catches your attention.”
“I’m not hungry, but thanks anyway.” Ichimatsu lingers over to the couch before sitting down. “If anything, I’m just tired.”
You’ve noticed that it never takes much to wear out Ichimatsu. But to be fair, he's probably not used to being outside his house unless he was with his brothers.
Suddenly, you’re reminded of the uncomfortable silence on the walk to your apartment. More than anything, you want to be closer to Ichimatsu. But the last thing you want is to make a wrong move and make him hate you.
Ichimatsu’s eyes are closed, his breathing slower than it was moments ago. The moment to grow closer to him is right in front of you, but you find yourself frozen in place.
It’s now or never.
Hesitantly, you tread over to the couch, sitting down next to Ichimatsu. He makes a small grunt, but doesn't open his eyes. You take this as a good sign as your arms tenderly wrap around his waist and pull him closer to you.
His eyes flutter open and scan over your own, breath quickening and blush spreading on his cheeks.
“Are you okay?” You ask, voice quiet as to not ruin the moment.
Ichimatsu only nods.
Feeling brave, you rest your head against his chest, inhaling the smell of cat fur clinging to his hoodie. You also catch a hint of tuna along with cat treats. Ichimatsu doesn't pull back or make any indication that he's uncomfortable, which eases you.
But one thing is for certain: his heart is beating so fast in his chest that it might as well burst.
“You feeling alright, Ichi?” You pull back to see his flushed face, small beads of sweat decorating his forehead and his eyes avoiding your gaze.
It takes him awhile to respond, and when he does, his voice is barely audible.
“P-Please keep doing that.”
How on earth could you say no?
Offering a smile, you relax into his chest once more. His heartbeat has slowed down to a steady rhythm, but an odd feeling still lingers in the air. For one, both of your bodies are in an awkward position, Ichimatsu leaning against the back of the couch with your face in his chest.
Shifting onto your side, you look to Ichimatsu, who seems to get the message and joins you. His eyes are closed as he lies in front of you, brows knit together and face flushed red. When your hand reaches up to stroke his cheek, his tense expression softens.
“Ichi, open your eyes,” you whisper. “I want to see them.”
He obeys, gaze resting on you. He blinks slowly, and you can’t help but compare it to a cat who wants attention.
Fine with me, you think as you press a gentle kiss to his cheek. Ichimatsu’s lips part in a gasp and his eyes grow wide, cheeks rosy with red blush. A small amount of guilt washes over you, and you worry for a second that you overdid it.
“S-Sorry about that,” you stammer and force a smile. “I should have asked to kiss you first.”
Ichimatsu shakes his head.
“It’s fine…” he murmurs. “I mean… I like your kisses. If you want to do it on the lips this time, that’s okay, too.”
You release a breath you didn’t know you were holding at Ichimatsu’s words. Taking them as an invitation, you press your lips against his as you embrace him. Ichimatsu tenses up, but soon relaxes into your touch.
The kiss sends your heart fluttering like a schoolgirl who was just confessed to. Ichimatsu is a little sloppy, but you can forgive him for that. After all, he hasn't had much practice.
The kiss lasts for a while before you break away, both of you breathless for air. Craving more but wanting to catch your breath, you settle with placing a chaste kiss on his neck.
“You're so warm, Ichi,” you sigh against him as your thumb traces small circles on his back. “I just want to stay like this forever.”
Ichimatsu makes an affirming noise as he practically melts into your soft touches, his slowing heartbeat and body warmth relaxing you. When your thumb slows and eventually stops, Ichimatsu makes a quiet grunt and adjusts himself.
Then his arms wrap around you.
It’s a surprise for sure, but not an unwelcome one. His grip is gentle yet firm around your waist, and he nuzzles his face into your neck. His face is heated against your skin, breath lightly tickling your neck as he exhales.
You squeeze him a little tighter. His gentle squeeze back lets you know that he's content.
Minutes pass like this, with the two of you embracing each other as if you hadn't been together in weeks. Ichimatsu’s thumb even presses and rubs against your back occasionally, just like you did earlier with him.
“Hey, Ichi,” you whisper after more time has passed. You don't receive a response, prompting you to call his name again. Nothing.
It dawns on you soon after that he's fallen asleep in your arms.
You smile, a part of you wanting to stay like this out of fear of waking him up. That, and you're too comfortable to want to pull away.
Ichimatsu’s sleeping face is the most vulnerable part of him that you've seen. With his lips slightly parted and usually rough features gentle, any semblance of a “dark aura” that your friends warned you about is completely nonexistent.
Thinking back on today’s date, you recall Ichimatsu’s silence and how uncomfortable it was for you. But in your arms, the silence is different. Comforting, even.
This is the kind of silence you’re much more comfortable with.